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Before going to bed, my husband went to the living room, his cell phone kept ringing, I pressed the speakerphone, and a woman cried and said, “My dad is dead, can you come here?” I was taken aback and hurriedly asked. Who is she? After chatting for a few words, I found out that something happened to his ex-wife’s house. My husband was very embarrassed when he heard that she was going to find his ex-wife. I am 26 years old, a primary school teacher, married for one year and have no children. My husband is 28 years old, a programmer, and divorced from his ex-wife for 1 year, and my second marriage. I met my husband during a trip. He was divorced for 6 months at the time. He said that he was in a bad mood and went to relax. I happened to be on the same plane with him, and when I was chatting, I discovered that I accidentally booked the same bed and breakfast with him. We felt very fate, so we made an appointment to buy groceries and cook together at the homestay, and chat and drink tea when we were okay. I think my husband is the type I like. He works steadily, doesn’t speak ostentatiously, and has a lot of knowledge. The point is that he can talk to me. After the trip, he and I slowly got in touch. At that time, I was single, and I had nothing to do, so I often came out to play with my husband. He told me that because he was too busy at work, his ex-wife couldn’t bear him working overtime every day, quarreling every day, and a relationship broke up, so he divorced and the two had no children. He said that after the divorce, he reflected a lot and felt that he was too concerned about his work and did not take good care of his family. Divorce had his responsibility. He thought that if he starts the next marriage, he must balance the relationship between work and family. After knowing each other for a year, we are together. I get along very happily with him. He is very caring and depends on me in everything. After getting married, he also learned to take care of the family and me as he said before the marriage. When I was fine on the weekend, he would take time to accompany me, and no matter how busy he was every day, he would talk to me and ask me how I felt and how I felt today. I think my husband is my ideal partner. Although he is a second marriage, he knows how to care about me and I feel very happy to be with him. It’s just that the existence of his ex-wife always makes me feel uncomfortable. When the ex-wife first learned that my husband and I were married, she called him and sent a message, expressing regret for the divorce, she should not be impulsive, should not blame her husband, and hoped that her husband would not marry me and remarry her. Every time I get drunk in the middle of the night, I call my husband. I heard my husband say to him, “The past things are over. We all did something wrong. Cherish the future. People have to look forward. I am married now. My wife is very good and I cherish it. She. I hope you can be happy.” After hearing this, I know that my husband treats me sincerely. In addition, my husband has repeatedly promised that he has no feelings for his ex-wife. I believe that the relationship between her husband and ex-wife is broken, but his ex-wife still No remarriage, always like to find a husband to solve difficult problems. Husband is better, and sometimes I don’t know how to refuse, which makes me very embarrassed in the middle. Tonight, his ex-father-in-law was unwell and fell asleep early after taking the medicine. When his wife was sleeping, he realized that the old man had left in his sleep. There were only two women in the house, his ex-wife and his mother, and I didn’t know what to do. , Just call my husband. While calling, my husband looked at me apologetically. He wanted to go, but he was embarrassed to speak. I nodded and said, I can go. My husband hung up the phone and said “Thank you for your understanding.” I said, “Shall I go with you?” My husband said, “Isn’t it right for you to go? Your identity is too embarrassing.” I said, “Actually. It’s not appropriate for you to go, nor is it inappropriate for you not to go. It’s not that I don’t trust you. Your ex-wife is now at the most vulnerable time. It is easy to rely on men, and men are also easy to pity women. If you don’t go, it seems that you are unkind. So, it’s most suitable for me to go with you. If you think it’s okay, I’ll change my clothes now and go with you right away. If you think it’s not possible, then you call your ex-wife and say I won’t let you go. “My husband is still very embarrassed. , I said, “If you are afraid that I will mind my ex-wife and don’t let me go, you will think too much. I trust you, as a friend, I should go and see it too, right? You and ex-wife are in the past It’s up, I know that now you are sincere to me, you don’t have to worry too much.” After hearing this, my husband stretched his brows and said, “Okay, I’ll take you with me.” I saw the expression in my husband’s eyes. Grateful, his nervous expression relaxed.

leexin

By leexin

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helpmekim
6 months ago

Quoting a sentence from the bizarre saying-“do difficult work, talk about simple love”. Don’t waste time every day on how to please men, in short, don’t fall into the boundless ocean of female competition. Don’t find someone who needs you to work hard, invest a lot of energy and consume you, find someone who communicates, cooperates and empathizes as a partner. When encountering difficulties at work, take the initiative to accept challenges. Don’t always think “I can’t do this, what should I do in the family”. The family is composed of two people. Men never trouble these things, and you are not obliged to trouble them. Always remember that making money is more important than men. No matter how bad the overall environment is, no matter what kind of economic conditions you find in the future, you will not give up your own independent earning channels. Others, yysy, who reverted to “for the family” and gave up independent earning channels in the middle of the road, yysy, are all burying thunder for the Chinese female group, which is a manifestation of weakness and degraded intelligence. (Specially add China, because some developed countries such as Japan and the United States have protection for full-time housewives, but China does not. China does not even have protection for hitting workers, so don’t mention full-time housewives)

heloword
6 months ago

Smart women are never playing with emotions. I have seen a widely circulated saying: Smart women only dress up and do not gain weight; only show weakness but do not get angry; only encourage but not dislike; only act like a baby without nagging. If you stick to it, you will find that your relationship with your husband will become more and more harmonious, and men will become more and more responsible. ——I am opposed. ——No, no, no. I have been engaged in marriage counseling for many years, can I refute: Smart men, please remember that you only make money and don’t cheat; you only praise and don’t dislike; you only protect but don’t complain; you only pay and don’t care about it; you will find your woman if you stick to it Will be more and more gentle, more and more sensible? ? ? ? All of the above are pseudo-intelligence. Only from the perspective of self-interest, with the goal of playing with each other, such smartness is “pseudo-smartness.” Regardless of marriage or daily dealings, men or women, “smartness” does not mean hiding oneself in exchange for the bargaining chip of the other party. The true concept of being smart is: loving yourself. 01 Loving you is my instinct, self-love is my ability. Most women are smart, and only when they encounter self-righteous love will they be blinded for a while. My client Mrs. Yan (comprehensively edited by many cases, not her real name), a master of law, and her husband always get ambiguous outside, and there is no real cheating, but the chat is endless. When Mrs. Yan questioned him, as a programmer’s husband, his defense eloquence was more brilliant than Mrs. Yan who studied the law. Mrs. Yan is strong and capable. He needs a soft young girl to set off his self-confidence. He is under great pressure, Mrs. Yan is busy, and no one talks. Ambiguous chats on WeChat are just to relax. Moreover, as a legal worker, Mrs. Yan is serious and true. , I need to find someone to release my hidden passion. Mrs. Yan asked me to cry, “I stare at the ceiling every night and weep, but my husband deliberately pretends to sleep and snoring”, “My marriage is like a farce,” “The life is frustrated and embarrassing.” The strong and capable failed. The marriage is vulnerable. Why do women forgive cheating husbands again and again? because of love. Just as Mrs. Yan’s forgiveness and relief time and time again, when the love runs out one day, Mrs. Yan’s departure will be decisive. But this is where many women are not smart. They treat love as a consumable, exchange patience for short-term peace, and finally experience the pain and tears of marriage failure. A wise woman will understand that you can be the icing on the cake in my life, but by no means my life-saving straw. 01 I suggest that Mrs. Yan must love herself first and then love her, to please herself, this is a compulsory course for a woman in her life. Mrs. Yan doesn’t know how to dress up and lacks fashion, so I suggest that she enroll in classes to learn from her strengths and avoid weaknesses, and strengthen her appearance advantage. Her life is monotonous, and her husband always laughs at her “work and rest like a nun”, so she should actively expand her social circle and make her amateur life more enjoyable. Full and exciting; slowly, Mrs. Yan’s speech and behavior have changed, not only more confident, but also full of passion. The husband said bluntly: “You seem to be a different person.” Only by cultivating the ability to love yourself can you have the courage to leave. 02 Not all beautiful women win, but smart women are king. The more some women give, the more likely they are to be ignored, let down, and abandoned. Mrs. Yan can be regarded as out of the hall and into the kitchen. The economic contribution is equal to that of her husband, and family responsibilities are superior to her husband. For the sake of family harmony, she even “turns one eye and closes one eye” to her husband’s flirtation. Didn’t she pay much? Shouldn’t you be thankful by your husband? Shouldn’t it be worthy of a better man? But all she gained was a heartbreak. Psychologically speaking, over-paying is a manifestation of insecurity. I have lived in a family that lacks care since I was a child, and had to please others in order to survive. As a result, I don’t know how to establish the correct intimacy with my partner as an adult. Exploring Mrs. Yan’s native family, her father prefers sons over daughters. Her parents divorced as soon as she was born, and her mother imposed all complaints about losing a partner on her children. As a result, she was afraid of being abandoned and cautiously pleased her partner. I don’t even dare to mention leaving first, so I can only passively persuade myself: “When he doesn’t want me, maybe I will be free.” To be honest, I feel sorry for such a woman. No one sees their grievances, men only think that their low posture is very humble. In the relationship, we expect to pay back. But the truth is: if you don’t mention the needs, he thinks you didn’t ask for it! He will continue to make you suffer repeated grievances! Therefore, if you want to have a good relationship, you can be ignorant, or even “not love him so much.” For the next stage of psychology courses, I need Mrs. Yan to try to understand her own value, build self-confidence, and learn to express emotions correctly. Once the other party steps on the bottom line, you must Express it wisely. None of us are born with perfect personality, but we have already bid farewell to our childhood. As adults, we should discover and correct our own shortcomings in time when we encounter problems, instead of letting our own personality defects bring pressure to people close to us. You are qualified to use his methods to “torture” him, so that he also feels that he is sometimes cared about, and sometimes ignored. For example, in physical intimacy, when arguing, suddenly give him a kiss, making him love and hate you, hate you to make him angry, and love you can’t stop; For example, in language communication, more rhetorical sentences are used instead of rhetorical questions, “I think Do you want you to accompany me more” instead of “Do you think the woman outside is more important to me?” For example, in terms of psychological control, using emotional expression to replace emotional catharsis, one cry, two troubles and three hangs are long gone. I cherish me. Pity it, those who forsake me shall not stay. He has to spend more energy around you, is addicted to you, feels that you are unpredictable and full of mystery, and is no longer the woman he knows well.

helpyme
6 months ago

1. Be self-consistent at any time; in the face of painful and insurmountable things, find a logic to free yourself from it. Regardless of the state, it can be adjusted to the best state. 2. Make a decision with a global view ; you can’t just label someone or something because of a sentence or an expression of others, make a judgment, but consider the antecedents and observe from a higher dimension The details of the moment. 3. Possess the ability to know people accurately ; to know people is the ability to know yourself and others. Knowing yourself is easy to understand, but not easy to do; don’t deceive yourself, know clearly what your desires are, and know how to use and control these desires reasonably; you must know your position and role in a specific environment Character. 4. The spirituality of comprehension by analogy ; the principles of reading emotions can be flexibly applied to workplaces and negotiations. Reading business, warfare, and games can also be applied to emotions. This is also comprehension by analogy. 5. Only those who can tolerate the interests and injustices of others; can coexist and win-win with others, and can accommodate the interests and shortcomings of others, can live long. It is said in the Tao Te Ching that everything in the world is endless, and the world can last for a long time, because the world contains everything and all things can live in symbiosis. 6. Can jump out of the gender framework at critical moments; when using female identity to gain greater advantages, use female identity, and the benefits of using male identity are also the same. If you can’t do it, it will be hermaphrodite, rigid and flexible. When strong, then strong, neutral, then neutral, when weak, then weak. Sometimes, in a specific environment, showing weakness is a kind of strength.

sina156
6 months ago

Undefined woman. As the saying goes, it is to be yourself, and know what you are doing clearly, have a strong heart, and not be too much disturbed by other voices. None of the following answers are wrong. For example, Zhang Gongzi said that he was a smart person first, such as not being affected by feelings, such as being cruel and so on. But most women, or most people, every time they see xxx are smart people, their first reaction is to follow the answer and check in. Including myself, it has been this way for a long time, and I still subconsciously do this now. However, smart people are very clear about what they want. They have clear requirements for themselves at each stage, and will quickly eliminate those interference items. The girl I admire most at school, she eats, studies, and does everything alone, because it saves time. At that stage, she did not integrate into the circle of friends, and in the eyes of most students, she was definitely not the most “smart” girl in all aspects. But she knew exactly what she wanted and what she could give up, and finally went to Peking University. This is truly “smart” and “powerful” for oneself. When working, one sister does not participate in tea parties and gossip among colleagues. Work is work, life is life. At the beginning, I would feel that she would not be too integrated in this way. But after a long time, she discovered that this was the best way to treat herself. She delivered clearly at work, so everyone didn’t have any opinion on her. If she didn’t participate in the gossip between colleagues, she would hardly cause messy things. In addition to her own job, she also has a side job. I once asked her to talk about career planning, only to find that her spiritual world is really rich, but there is no need to show all this to everyone around her. Her cleverness is also due to the fact that she doesn’t sit in the right seat to pursue the so-called “high emotional intelligence”, and to do what she believes is right and make herself happy. There are many standards and many definitions in this world. We are always accustomed to meet these and other conditions, and then become the prescribed people. However, being smart is a rare thing, and only a very small part of people really own it. Those people don’t care about the standards of most people, and insist on what they think is right. Don’t be defined, don’t be framed. Regardless of men and women.

yahoo898
6 months ago

1. Learn to pretend to be stupid. She didn’t know many things, who used her, took advantage of her, was hypocritical and selfish. She knew very well in her heart, but she never exposed each other face to face. 2. Smart women will stop losses in time. When should I give up a relationship? It is when you feel that you have become bad. If you are in a relationship and feel confused, depressed, painful, and not getting better in a relationship, this is a very important signal. For example, if you cheat, you will be blacked out at every turn, people who often degrade you and make you feel uncomfortable, such people leave as soon as possible. 3. Don’t regard marriage and childbearing as your own way of retreat. Not getting married. Being infertile is a life choice, not a way of life. If you regard marriage and childbirth as your own way of retreat, then you will find yourself embarking on a path of no retreat. Think about it, the scarce costs of getting married and having children are basically borne by women. For example: physical costs, health costs, and attention costs. These costs are precious enough to inevitably affect the time and energy originally spent on business. For men, as long as they pay economic and time costs, the impact is basically minimal. So, when there is a certain foundation for personal ability and career, then consider marriage and childbirth. Marriage is not a gambling, the most important bargaining chip must be firmly in your own hands. At all times, we must take precautions. When things happen, they are rich, have choices, have the ability to take care of themselves, and have the ability to take care of future generations. Rather than waiting pitifully for someone to save you, you have to know that only you can save yourself. 4. When choosing a love and marriage partner, he will look for scarce resources, character, three views, self-motivatedness, economic ability and his consumption outlook, such as: whether he is emotionally stable, his aesthetics, such as his treatment and career and life For example, the importance of family in his mind, why do they say that these are scarce resources? Because of these qualities, it is difficult to cultivate and cast these advantages, and it takes a long time to learn. Behind him is a high-cost payment. It is the upbringing of family education, studying for education and self-improvement, all of which require high-cost efforts to achieve. 5. Go all out to develop yourself. For young women, the biggest asset in their hands is time, time is opportunity, and time is infinite possibilities. When you are young, if you make the most of it, the rate of return is quite high, you can have a better career, you can meet a better-quality partner, and you can be financially independent as soon as possible, especially if you choose to marry and have children in the future. Be confident to be yourself. At the same time, there will be stronger anti-risk capabilities in the future. 6. They are the masters of soft power and hard power mergers. They clearly know that to obtain high-quality intimacy, it does not lie in how much you give, but in who you are because your wisdom and ability are experienced at work. It’s not how much you pay in a relationship, do you know? Boyfriends are also disgusted with girlfriends. People who are poor are not rare when you ask him to be handsome, charming, considerate, humorous, and capable. He will ask you again to be beautiful, rich, and gentle. Only a balanced relationship can be balanced, and a balanced relationship will not have so many grievances. 7. It will not fall into the consumption trap of buying, buying and buying. It is important to save rationally, and financial management is very important. It is even more important to improve yourself. It is more important to invest in yourself with the money you consume. More important (postgraduate entrance examination, advanced studies, skills) Only in this way will you have more choices, and with more choices, will you have more freedom and wealth 8. Know clearly that the best social relations There are commonalities and mutual attraction. There is a saying that is very clear about social relations: “How many people still don’t understand that the desire to maintain a long-term and comfortable relationship between people depends on commonality and attraction. Instead of oppression, bondage, flattery, and Blindly giving and moral self-movement.” 9. She doesn’t talk too much and will not follow the public opinion. But she is not introverted. She sees things rationally and objectively. She will not go without analysis and verification. Just because of hearsay, just give it to others. Label and draw conclusions. 10. It is often quiet at parties and likes to observe other people, to infer some hidden information from other people’s clothing, eyes, and subtle expressions. My idol is like this. I often watch my opinions and views at parties. Now I can figure out what other people are thinking. Haha 11. Career and boyfriend. It is always better to invest in your own career than in yourself. Because of investment in business, it is possible to manage love and family well in the future. Only by running a good career will the ability to resist risks in life be strong. In Girls’ Generation, where physical strength, energy, and time are the richest, if you don’t invest time in yourself, you spend time on burning yourself. Then these rewards are not only reflected in the future wages, but also in the respect received, and the resources that can be used are also essentially different.

greatword
6 months ago

Regardless of men and women, you should be aware of occasional gifts when you get along with your partner. I usually give my boyfriend some gifts. A few days ago, he went to take an exam in another place. I gave him a metal pen with his name engraved on it. I wish him the exam. Come on and the pre-test spree haha. He usually gives some small gifts, and he is very happy every time. Of course, he is the same. Some time ago, I came to my eldest aunt. I don’t think I feel very well every time. Later, I secretly bought me a packet of brown sugar ginger tea. After he soaked it for me, he was really touched. I didn’t expect him to be so attentive and considerate. Hahaha, he would not be so painful anymore. It is very effective for dysmenorrhea. I even let my boyfriend drink it a few times. Hahaha, he said, it is sweet and refreshing, sweet but not greasy, and it tastes good. If the boy has a bad stomach, it is also good to warm the stomach.

loveyou
6 months ago

1. Know how to love yourself, have the courage to be hated (3 points) 2. Clear mind, clear logic, and not be trapped by waves (2 points) 3. Good at pros and cons analysis, understand human nature, and be accurate in seeing people (2 points) 4. Striving for (3 points) or above is the trait of a smart woman that I think is also the direction of my current practice. When I just graduated, my self-rated score was less than 3, and my work status was terrible, and my mentality was at the bottom of the food chain. 5 Years have passed, and my self-grading score can reach about 7 points. At least the mentality is not the bottom. I have attached a limerick. Hey: Don’t be afraid of the high peak and the sea. Don’t be afraid of the Hongmeng Beast. Under the circumstances, maximize the benefits in this world, and you will never betray you. Except for your mother, it is you who leave a way behind for yourself. Go after it bravely! Regardless of wealth or power, you have a place. Never expect to live on the conscience of others. Of course, you have to take control of yourself! You are you, the most beautiful scenery!

strongman
6 months ago

1. Girls tend to overestimate how much men like their appearance, just as men tend to underestimate their attraction to girls’ inner beauty! There is a saying: “Starting from appearance, falling into talent, and being loyal to character.” The beginning of all romantic and perfect love is inseparable from “love at first sight.” Indeed, in the early stages of sexual attraction, everyone “judges people by their appearance.” But this appearance does not require you to be a beauty, but that you become the “Xi Tzu” in his eyes. So this is what many girls will find: Why this girl is obviously inferior to me in all aspects, but she finally finds such a good male ticket or husband? This is not because she has a better life than you, but she knows better than you how to present herself in front of men. I read a piece of news before. A lady went to a date with a brand name during a blind date. She thought that this way a man would treat her like a goddess. What she didn’t expect was that the man blacked her out after returning home. Because in that man’s opinion: I can’t afford such a “goddess”! The reason lies in the fact that most girls understand the needs of men in choosing a spouse and the needs of men in the actual process of choosing a spouse. In fact, there is a big discrepancy. 2. Judging from the cases I have observed in the past, those women who are spoiled by men are actually not the best-looking or the most outstanding ones considered by the general public. The important reason is that more and more men are beginning to realize that being comfortable in the relationship between the sexes is actually the most important thing. Therefore, many people start to put the “feeling” of getting along with girls in a very important position. The so-called feeling of getting along is: as a woman, what are the “hidden values” you can provide to the other party? If there is only external attraction, then your attraction to the opposite sex is probably only fleeting. Because in the end you are not so special and distinctive in his eyes. So, this is the reason why many men start to be indifferent immediately after being with girls. It’s not because every one you meet is “scum”, but if you only rely on the attraction of your appearance, then in the end your own attraction will only become more and more limited, so that the other party is unwilling to take the initiative on you. Additional investment. 3. So, besides appearance, what other characteristics are important to the attractiveness of girls in the eyes of men? 1. Girls’ smiles; people often say: “Girls who love to laugh, are not too bad luck.” You must know that in this world, besides disease, there is smile. And the infection of a smile is positive and can move people. Therefore, I often hear male students say to me: “I can’t forget the smile she left in my memory.” And a lot of emotions go to the back afterwards, mostly because the laugh from the beginning has become Later complaints. 2. The self-confident temperament of girls; whether a girl is self-confident, in fact, men are particularly sensitive to this. So this is that scumbags always like to find girls who are not confident or lack love, because they feel that such girls do not need to spend too much time and energy to obedient to them, and will not leave them. But scumbags will never really fall in love with them. Because girls who are not confident enough are not challenging enough for them, and men are always sensitive to whether a girl is truly confident. On the contrary, the reason why those confident girls can attract men’s sincere likes is very important because men feel that they have their own selves and principles, and will not become a Virgin or a Virgin for a man casually. The beggar in love. 3. The gentle voice of girls; people often say that women are like water. And the voice of a girl can best reflect the soft characteristics of a girl. Generally speaking, a loud voice will make men feel more artificial. If the voice is too loud or noisy, it will unconsciously remind people of a charter wife. If the voice is too small, it will give people a feeling of lack of confidence and confidence. Therefore, for girls, different people will have different timbres. But the prerequisite is the overall feeling of your voice, whether it is enough to move people, and give people a feeling of being comfortable and wanting to be close. This is also a very important part of feminine charm. 4. The personality and character of girls. Many girls are often jealous: “Why can’t your male ticket forget your ex-girlfriend.” Remember, what a man can’t forget is not only the beauty of a girl, but also the memories and feelings that the girl left to him. , That belongs to her unique personality and attractiveness. This is what really makes many men think that they are attractive and the source of thoughts. And this personality and character, here is also a simple explanatory for everyone; first, the character is best to be approachable and easy to get along with. In fact, most men don’t like to have long-term relationships with women who have their own “princess disease”. Even if he can bear it for a while, he will still choose to leave because of exhaustion over time. Second, you don’t need to become someone else, you just need to keep yourself. Many girls will deliberately become less like themselves in order to please a man. But as everyone knows, when you do this for him, it will only be exchanged for him to treat you more contemptuously. Because your “pleasure” behavior has betrayed yourself. Third, a good personality makes oneself comfortable, but also makes the other person comfortable. And this involves the “Emotional Intelligence” level. As long as the girl who will make a man willing to be with her for a long time, the emotional intelligence will not be too low. Because they know how to grasp the direction and scale of a relationship. And in this process, I still have the ability to maintain myself.

stockin
6 months ago

What is a woman? Softness and toughness, honesty and hypocrisy, innocence and calmness, gentleness and glamour are all compatible with “woman”. A woman is charming and charming, and she is also an angel and a devil. What is a smart woman? Si believes that there is no distinction between men and women in being smart, and the following is true. (Take away the useful likes, put down the useless, don’t hold back, and be a smart person.) 1. Be self-consistent at any time. When encountering painful and difficult things to overcome, she can always find a logic to free herself from it. Use whatever works. People are alive, but truth is dead. It depends on how you use them flexibly. 2. Make any decision based on the long timeline of life, also called the overall view. So what is a decision based on the timeline? For example, you decide to marry an older man who has social status, resources, and can help you. While you get the benefits, then you must face the reality that he will enter the age and decline earlier than the youth of the same age. This is an analysis based on the timeline. With this kind of awareness, when he is really old and declining, you can avoid your own unbalanced thoughts when you see other people’s mates are still young and strong. Why complain about one thing for one thing? In the long line of time, who can have the last laugh, and who knows? (~狗头~) 3. Possess the ability to accurately recognize people, including strong insight. Knowing people, knowing people, is the ability to know oneself and others. Knowing yourself is easy to understand, but not easy to do. What is self-knowledge? It is to know your own strengths and weaknesses; to not deceive yourself, to clearly know what desires you have in your heart, and to know how to use and control these desires reasonably; to know your position and role in a specific environment. For example, a boy who likes your best friend invites you to go to KTV to sing with your best friend. As a result, you sang loudly and flexed your fists on the spot, putting your girlfriends at a disadvantage. It seems that you are very good at Maiba, but in fact, you have not seen the situation (who is the protagonist of this game), and have not figured out your position and role. What is to know him? It is to understand human nature, to know that people are intricate, not black or white, good or evil. It is to be able to judge this person by contacting, observing and summarizing the commonalities of certain people’s behavior and psychology: whether they can associate with them, whether they can be friends with them, whether they are worth paying, whether they can cooperate… able to communicate (pay|cooperate) ), and to what extent you can communicate (pay|cooperate), there is a general pre-judgment of psychology. 4. The ability to comprehend by analogy is also called spirituality. After reading the principles of emotions, you can apply them flexibly in the workplace and negotiation, and you can apply them to emotions when you read business, art of war, and games. This is an analogy. The master leads the door, and the practice depends on the individual. 5. For those who can tolerate the benefits of others, Hengchangsheng also. Only those who can coexist and win-win with others and accommodate others’ interests and shortcomings can live long. It is said in the Tao Te Ching that everything in the world is endless, and the world can last for a long time, because the world contains everything and all things can live in symbiosis. 6. If you can jump out of the gender frame at critical moments, you will get so much energy. When using a female identity to get a greater advantage, use a female identity, and the same is true when using a male identity is greater. If it doesn’t work, then it’s hermaphrodite, rigid and flexible. When strong, then strong, neutral, then neutral, when weak, then weak. Sometimes, in a specific environment, showing weakness is a kind of strength. 7. Never reject opinions that are different from one’s own. The place where different views collide is the soil that produces wisdom. Otherwise, you will always be confined to your own narrow field, and any broad experience and precise knowledge of people will have nothing to do with you. Because you didn’t plan to go out at all, let alone walk into other people’s world to take a look. You also lose the opportunity to explore the hearts of others. 8. Good at gaming, bold and cruel in a specific environment, and strong performance ability. In fact, it’s the same logic. Use whatever identity is easy to use. During a divorce, men usually seize a woman’s weakness (women are reluctant to bear children) to coerce the woman, such as pretending to fight for custody with the woman, or temporarily hiding the child to prevent the woman from seeing the child again. Ordinary women will make concessions to reduce the division of property when they are in a hurry, and even more so that they will go out of the house in order to fight for the custody of their children. And a smart woman is usually a ruthless character, she doesn’t like a man. When a man is fighting for custody, even if she can’t bear it at first, she will take the child to the man in order to stabilize the property she deserves. Because she knows what a sacred child is, she must be driven crazy if she takes a man for a few days or a few months. At this time, the man will know her importance, obediently surrender and hand over the child to her, and she can even use it as a bargaining chip for the man to make concessions on property, and even seek reconciliation in turn. Win without defeat. For the time being, what a fetish is a smart woman, how can a few words be enough? If you want to hear more, you can click three consecutive times, let me hear your voice~

zhiwo
6 months ago

The highest level of emotional intelligence for a woman: do things hard, talk “soft”. I know a friend from Xiaobai, who was just a dumb loser, to becoming the CEO of a leading brand company in China’s business presentations. Her story is very worth listening to, and may give you some inspiration. Hello everyone, I am Xi Yue. After the Chinese women’s version of TED that I founded became popular, many people knew me. More and more collaborations come to my door. Rhythmic gymnastics queen Zhong Ling, wedding queen Wang Weiwei, famous actor Qin Hailu, and “Ruyi’s Royal Love in the Palace” gold medal producer Huang Lan are all my partners. I became the speaking coach of China’s top business leaders. Before the stars such as Tong Liya, Huang Shengyi, Yi Nengjing, Meng Meiqi, and Yang Zi appeared on the stage of “Starry Sky Speech”, they all accepted my tutoring. The investor of “Wonderful Flowers” once commented on me: Ma Dong teaches Chinese men to speak well, and Xi Yue can teach Chinese women to speak well. In the eyes of many people, I am an outgoing and good-speaking woman, but the truth is that I have been an introvert and taciturn person since I was young. Because when I was a student, I only needed to get a high score on the test, so I never took “speaking” to heart. But when I step into the workplace, I’m dumbfounded. In the workplace, not being able to speak means that you are not being able to do things. When the group was brainstorming and discussing the project, others explained their own ideas clearly. Only I squatted and didn’t express my meaning, just like I didn’t want to participate in the discussion. When the work summary meeting was held, others talked endlessly, only I ended up in less than two sentences, as if I didn’t do anything. Almost a year passed in this way. Several colleagues who entered the company at the same time either got a promotion or a salary increase. It was only me who hadn’t gotten a full year, and the leader often sighed when talking to me. If this continues, I’m very afraid. Will be swept out, smashed their jobs. During that time, thinking that I might be expelled, I couldn’t sleep all night long. Don’t fight for the steamed buns, I gave myself an ultimatum: If you can’t get a good job before the end of the year, I will take the initiative and leave! So, I worked hard to learn speaking skills. After get off work every day, I stay at home and practice every dialogue scene countless times. Reporting work, getting along with colleagues, meeting speeches, salary negotiations, public speeches… On Saturdays and Sundays, I even soaked in the library and searched through all the communication books on the market. I also joined the Global International Speaking Club, and once a week I followed the masters to do systematic training, rain or shine… I finally mastered the trick. In order to respond more quickly to various speaking situations, I summarized those complicated and difficult techniques and methods into 12 universal speaking formulas that can be directly applied. When you want to praise someone, use the “diamond formula” to speak to others’ hearts; when you ask for help, use the “pyramid formula” to make him willing to help you; when you are angry, use the “dimensionality reduction attack” to make him proactively admit his mistakes;… I have never been a person with high emotional intelligence, but with these 12 formulas, every time I encounter a communication problem, I will use it directly. Soon, I became a talking woman with high EQ in the eyes of others. My work gets smoother and smoother, and I can mobilize more resources to complete projects that are difficult for others to eat. Every time I report to my work, I see a happy smile from the leader. Even the boss of the company who has been ignoring me can call my name. Within five years, I have not only been promoted quickly to a company executive, but I have also moved to a Fortune 500 company to get a million annual salary. I am one of the fastest-promoted talents in the industry. When many people see my resume, they will exclaim: “How is your life so good, Xi Yue?” In fact, I know very well that if you just work hard and don’t speak, it will take at least 10 years to get to this position. But how many 10 years does a woman have? Therefore, I have always told my younger generations that the workplace not only tests your ability and IQ, but also tests your EQ. EQ is very abstract, but you can learn how to speak well and make yourself look like a person with high EQ. A beautiful woman is liked for a minute, but a talking woman is loved for a lifetime. All the time, what I am most proud of is not how successful my business is, but the marriage between my husband and me for more than 8 years. A good morning kiss every day, say blushing love words, give each other favorite gifts, share your favorite movies and books, on weekends and holidays, roses are even more indispensable…Although you are an old couple, you still have love Time’s heartbeat. What is the secret? My answer is: speak well. Every time I speak, I will have a little “be careful” to make him like to listen to me. Even if two people are angry and quarreling, I can quickly ease the atmosphere, and the two people face to face to solve the problem together. Yes, those 12 speaking formulas are not only useful in the workplace, but also very effective when used to manage marriages. Xi Yue is also talking with his family on vacation by the sea. Some people reap sweet love, while others push their loved ones farther and farther. A few years ago, my friend Linlin asked me for help. She and her husband had frictions because of trivial matters. Every time she approached her husband to communicate with her husband with a problem-solving attitude, she often broke up. She thought it was all trivial matters, and it would be fine after it passed, but she did not expect that her husband actually filed for a divorce six months later. Before leaving home, the last sentence left by her husband was: “Every time you have a conflict, you are aggressive. Even if you make sense, I won’t listen. I am your husband, not your grandson!” In fact, Xiaoxi Grievance: “I really didn’t mean it. I just want to make him feel sorry for me, but every time he speaks, it will change.” It is good to know how to actively communicate with friction, but if you don’t understand the way of expression, Often self-defeating. Many people only pay attention to what should be said when speaking, but don’t know the total effect of communication = 7% of language + 38% of tone + 55% of facial expressions. Obviously, Linlin is like that. I hurriedly gave Linlin the 12 speaking formulas, “During this period, just follow the formula above for what you say.” Actually, I didn’t know what to say. After all, each family’s situation is different. Will this formula not work in her family? Three days later, the stone in my heart fell to the ground. Linlin ran to show off to me and said that now her husband can listen to her own words. Not to mention going home on time every day, but also take the initiative to help sweep the floor, pick vegetables, and wash dishes. Looking at Linlin’s sweet look, I suddenly understood that people are actually the same, and they all like to listen to words that make them comfortable. Later, I went to help domestic corporate executives, celebrities, as well as many college students, mothers, and workplace young people to speak better. The facts proved that this method is feasible. In another way of speaking, is it really so smart? of course. The more you can talk, the happier others will be; the happier others will be, the more they will like you; the more others like you, the more they will love to help you; the more help you get, the better your life will be. Heaven on one side, hell on the other. I have tasted a lot of sweetness because of being able to speak, but most people often suffer a lot because of not being able to speak. I want to expand my circle, but I don’t know how to make friends, so I missed a lot of networking opportunities; when reporting to my boss, because I couldn’t speak, it seemed that I didn’t do much; I wanted my partner to help, but he said the wrong thing. I pushed it farther; I wanted to urge my friends to pay back the money, but I didn’t know how to speak, and the money didn’t come back, but my friends lost it; … There is never a shortage of people who can do things in this world, but there is a real shortage of people who can talk. Think about it carefully, have you ever had this situation in your life: At a party, when you speak, everyone stops talking, and the atmosphere is embarrassing; when you go out to see customers, others talk about each other, and you talk about a single yellow and a single one. Communicating with her husband with a problem-solving attitude, and finally broke up; patiently reasoned with the naughty child, he not only refused to listen, but also got worse… If you win one, then you must be careful. You know, every word you say will invisibly affect your connections, emotions, and career advancement… If you don’t realize the problem, over time, you will fall into the “the harder you work, but the worse” cycle, even Serious self-doubt: The leader never adopts my suggestions. Is he biased against me? My husband is becoming more and more indifferent to me, does he not love me anymore? Colleagues don’t call me for dinner, am I just so unwelcome? Obviously he did nothing wrong, but he got on the blacklist of others inexplicably. People who can’t speak well are really at a disadvantage! Telling the truth and learning to speak well is the most cost-effective thing in the world. In today’s society, what we desperately pursue is nothing more than promotion and salary increase, being recognized by others, family sweetness, husband and wife harmony, children obedient… and these are all related to one thing: talking. Anyway, you have to talk every day, so why not say it is perfect? I am a Pudding mother, a second-born baby mother, and an early childhood education practitioner. I am keen to share parenting methods that are easy to use in pro-testing. Pay attention to me, we grow up together on the road of parenting, and we will be good mothers for our children together.

greatword
6 months ago

Basic example. When exploring what is smart, think a little bit about things that have nothing to do with “holding a man” or “how to deal with a man”. When talking about being smart, I immediately thought of how to make men very comfortable, so that men don’t think you are acting, and let men think that you are of high emotional value and very attractive. Of course, I am not saying that making men comfortable is not in the category of intelligence. But if the question asks how smart a man should be, then I guess that few will tell you how he should make women happy. If there are some, the comment is afraid of a big house.

loveyou
6 months ago

I think that being a woman who can make a trade-off between being smart in the secular sense (especially from a male perspective) and her own nature is the most difficult smart woman. It is meaningless if you give up your true self when you adapt to this environment. That is, the balance between external and internal needs. In addition, the intelligence of a woman requires the intelligence of the man on the opposite side to be smart enough to maximize it. The ancients said “Xia Chong can’t talk about ice”, and you can’t play the piano against cows…

strongman
6 months ago

First of all, the spirit is independent, with one’s own life and certain connotations, and the whole person is full of mental state, not focusing on others, and having his own independent space. Once again, you have to do something you like. This is something you have long been interested in doing. You can forget about your hobbies and enrich your personal spiritual world. In the end, I felt that I had to love myself before I could love others. I exercise self-discipline every day, take care of my skin regularly, exercise, and maintain emotional stability. People who can do the above aspects will make me think that this woman is smart and transparent, and her family work is well organized.

stockin
6 months ago

I would like to say a point that many people will overlook: do not equate independence with opposition. What do you mean specifically? According to my observations, the current market talks about gender, especially the growth of women, are basically divided into two camps. One is to teach you how to “catch” a good man, to attract men by training eyes, posture, language and other skills, to grasp the emotions, to learn the essence of green tea, etc., in order to please the male group. Choose a quality partner to improve the quality of life. Like lipstick, cut male color number, cut male fragrance in perfume, are all based on this. The other is to tell you that men are unreliable, love is not worth money, and you want to be a rich woman by yourself. It’s very interesting that most groups who frustrated and failed in the first argument became the mainstay of the second argument. What does this argument usually tell you, the woman a man loves the most is the woman who doesn’t love him. It is a woman who works hard for her career. The most beautiful appearance of a woman is when she is fighting for herself. In short, the old lady is very expensive, and the man is not worthy! Sounds very politically correct, doesn’t it? I think it’s great for women to have their own careers and have their own lives. By the way, it is also interesting that the supporters of the old lady’s very expensive argument usually despise the supporters of the Zhannan argument. Even if they themselves were from that camp (super quietly forced). Now, I ask a question, why are some high-chief women confused and unbalanced. Why are girls who study less than me, have less education than me, and work less well than me, marry better than me? Some people say that it is because women are looking for spouses with better conditions than themselves. They are already excellent, and there are too few men who are better than themselves. On behalf of the broad masses of male compatriots, I greet you: Who do you look down on? Others say that it is because men feel too pressured to find women who are better than their own, and they are unhappy. On behalf of the broad masses of male compatriots, I would like to greet you again: Don’t use the heart of a villain to save the belly of our elders! There are many other miscellaneous points of view, so I won’t repeat them one by one. I think the essence of this question is very simple. Independence is not the same as opposition. Too much propaganda that advertises independent women has been overcorrected, and too much is too much. The confusion of the women in Kochi is also easy to answer. You study hard and work hard, all for your own sake. You are capable of self-reliance, self-sufficiency, and self-entertainment in the social jungle. You are educated, studying, and doing questions, not to get more bargaining chips when you marry, nor to serve as a wife when you marry. A good self and a high-quality marriage are actually not directly related. But we have to admit that under the principle of selecting the best, the two still have a certain impact. Those girls may not study very well, but they may be beautiful, or kind, or comfortable, or virtuous at home, and other factors, or it may be that damn love that makes people fall in love at first sight~ In the process of female independence At present, the independence of women is basically equivalent to the antagonism of the sexes. Otherwise, why did the talk show actor Yang endorse Intel overturning? Why does Puerxin become popular? Let me say a few more quietly. Capital is the favorite to fuel controversial topics. If there is controversy, there will be traffic. The traffic is RMB, and the reputation is better than no reputation. Your emotions are mobilized, and the purpose of others is also That’s it~ I was able to say this today after going through argument one to argument two, and finally jumped out of the arrogance to understand. Why should it be carried away by public opinion? My own independence and excellence does not hinder and affect me to obtain a happy marriage at the same time. I can stand alone outside. I am a respectable senior woman, leader, boss, and other professional status. I return to love and family. I am a wife who grows old with my husband and a mother who takes good care of my children. This does not conflict. I have the ability to be independent, I also identify with my unique feminine charm, and I love my identity and role even more. I love myself and do not deliberately please others, but also respect and understand the male community, just as they respect us. I thank them for their help and convenience, and I also take care of their fragility with my unique tenderness. This is the true feminism in my understanding. This world requires us to walk hand in hand together. Rather than being separated by barriers, each is a camp, slobbering each other. Suddenly I want to add a couple of sentences to be relieved. The respect I said is based on mutual respect, mutual love and mutual respect. Like what, scumbag, cheating, domestic violence, zero tolerance. Or if the husband/boyfriend can’t figure it out and doesn’t work hard, the sisters don’t need to get used to getting sick. As the saying goes, tolerate breast nodules for a while and step back to ovarian cysts.

zhiwo
6 months ago

Ordinary girls rely on makeup and matching, which is indeed enough to make people shine, but the most advanced quality is cleverness. Smart girls are all working stupidly, smart enough to cover everything, maybe too difficult, if you realize the following two points, you can be enough to make yourself happy and happy. 1. Focus on improving yourself and live your life seriously. When you are about 20 years old, the person you fall in love with is likely to be in the same situation as you, but as you graduate and work, you continue to work hard to improve yourself. The corresponding values ​​and outlook on life are also at another level. Certain material conditions, you also have the ability to choose, the law of attraction, what kind of person to find what kind of person, you will most likely not be interested in boys who are weaker, so you can improve yourself and make yourself better. 2. Most girls have a fixed mindset and are waiting to be chased. Therefore, when choosing boys to fall in love, they are limited to chasing themselves, resulting in too narrow choices. They rarely take the initiative to chase boys, and they all enjoy or say Waiting to be chased, if you chase your boy, it’s not very good. You will probably not be able to pick a good boy. Even if a girl likes it, she will wait for the other person to chase herself and wait for the boy to advance the relationship. On the other hand, Sometimes, for girls who have a good impression, boys are rejected and hesitate. There will be no one in the world to satisfy you. He needs to be seen and he can be pursued. Girls have a blind corner of thinking, active love, they will not be cherished, but the boys chasing you may not cherish you, cherishing has little to do with being active or not. On the other hand, most boys take the initiative to pursue girls they like, and rarely wait to be chased. Boys have a wider range of choices and have a greater probability of finding a girl that suits them. So girls have to jump out of the obsession of being reserved and waiting to be chased, take the initiative and bravely attack, not ashamed, encountering an admiring boy boldly to contact may have unexpected gains. Perhaps he is the one who is willing to overcome all obstacles and subdue demons and demons with you!

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