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Long-distance relationships are so painful that 100% of long-distance relationships break up because one thinks you can guess, the other thinks I don’t have to guess. Therefore, based on the main reasons for the breakup above, we will further refine the reasons for the breakup of a long-distance relationship: 1: Loneliness caused by emotions nowhere: Psychology believes that loneliness and longing are the two major factors affecting people’s emotional and physical and mental health. Killer. In real life, two people sit together and accompany each other even if they don’t talk, but you who are in a long-distance relationship are one person almost all the time. 2: Loss of security caused by poor communication: The daily contact between two people is just separated by a cold screen, lifeless, intangible, and inaccessible. This will inevitably cause communication barriers. Sometimes things that can be solved with a hug have become the most difficult way to achieve. 3: There is no intersection in real life, resulting in a lack of common topics: Because two people live in different circles, friends are different, and there are very few mutual friends. Therefore, the common law of life gradually disappears, and differences in real life lead to language behavior patterns Therefore, there are fewer and fewer things that two people can talk about. 4: The sense of trust caused by the loss of gains and losses: due to poor communication between two people, coupled with the lack of a common circle between two people, it is possible that the other party missed a call, and you will be thinking about it for a long time, full of inner drama, and a lot of broken-hearted people. , One’s own sense of security is insufficient, therefore, the degree of fear and trust in this relationship will gradually decline, and many times it is uncertain whether the other party is concealing and deceiving oneself, resulting in a large number of misunderstandings that are difficult to reconcile. During the nearly 10 years of my career as an emotional counselor, 80% of long-distance lovers believe that as long as they truly love each other, geographical restrictions will eventually be overcome. Pure nonsense. Even couples who have lived together for a long time need to manage relationships, not to mention long-distance relationships!

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
6 months ago

My experience: When I meet once a month, I can basically satisfy the longing of both parties, and can buffer and wait. But when we can only meet for two months or more, there will be frequent quarrels and emotional quarrels from the second month onwards. Both parties are depressed but forced by the reality. They can only be aggrieved by themselves or send emotions to each other, creating a feeling of love and hate. Seeing once a month is almost the end

heloword
6 months ago

Long-distance love is actually three sentences, girls don’t want to die, boys don’t bother, plus the mutual trust between the two. If a girl doesn’t be a dead girl, she will easily feel insecure. The other party can’t take care of them in time, but if they want the other party to prove that they love themselves, it is easy to make troubles unreasonably. The usual routine is to irritate each other by turning over old accounts, breaking up at every turn, and asking about the situation of the ex-girlfriend, causing both of them to be very painful. Here I would like to say a few words for the male compatriots. First of all, being turned over the old account is like being sentenced to life imprisonment. I will feel that unless I change my girlfriend, I will never turn around. Then I feel annoying to be the first in advance, and I don’t even have the desire to continue to communicate. In the end, we broke up at every turn. Although we didn’t agree, we gradually got ready to break up in the subconscious mind. ​So girlfriends who want to cultivate long-distance love to a true fruit, don’t do the above three things again. It is inevitable that boys can’t bother to have a long-distance relationship. There will be a few rotten peach blossoms. This is really not worth showing off by boys, but it is the performance of you not giving your girlfriend a sense of security. If you can put your girlfriend on your lips wherever you go, you will be happy when you mention it, and girls who think about you will not dare to approach.

helpyme
6 months ago

Many people say that long-distance love loses to distance. In fact, I want to say that the most important thing in a long-distance relationship is to let us learn to be magnanimous and trust. And the hurt of feelings will not stay on you forever, after all, the days you thought you could not get out came back. I always think that the number one in long-distance relationship should be trust-I trust you, and you must be a person worthy of my trust. I saw a little story about trust on a public account before, and shared it with everyone: there are two children, the little boy collects a lot of stones; the little girl has a lot of candies. The little boy wanted to exchange all the stones for all the little girl’s candy, the little girl agreed. On the day of the exchange, the little boy hid a lot of big and beautiful stones, and then gave the rest of the stones to the little girl, and the little girl gave all the candy to the little boy as she promised, you know what happened later What happened? The little girl slept very soundly that night, but the little boy couldn’t sleep through the night. He lay in the bed and kept thinking whether the little girl hid a lot of sweets like him. So, trust is like this. If you can’t give 100% to others, you yourself will wonder if others also give you 100%. For each other in a long-distance relationship, both suffer from pain that two people cannot feel when falling in the same place. This pain has nothing to do with other reasons, but it is caused by two people not being able to accompany each other, and this situation also occurs more frequently in long-distance relationships. One more kind. The persistence of long-distance relationship is to enable two people to enter the palace of marriage, but the mistrust between the two often leads to quarrels and even breakups between the two people in the middle. From the moment you are away, you have to understand this. The process is sweet and hard. It requires you to have great perseverance and give each other the greatest trust. Don’t make a phone call if you trust two people to keep the video as much as possible, don’t type when you can make a phone call, or even quarrel between two people. Don’t use cold violence or cold text to break the love between you, then It is undoubtedly a great harm to you. In addition to trust, it is a sense of security. For the sense of security, long-distance relationships cannot give each other more sense of security, especially long-distance relationships cannot give each other more sense of security. Because the two of them are relatively far away from the city, the boys must take the initiative to spare more time to accompany the one you like. If she is about to exhaust her sense of security for you, and you only think of supplementing it, will it be too late? Many people may be very vague about the sense of security and don’t know how to give it or how to increase it. In fact, we think too much about it, and women’s sense of security is actually hidden in some small places. 1. The successful remote relationship is partly because it can imitate the pattern of a normal relationship. One of them is daily communication. The advent of the Internet has facilitated the connection of couples in remote relationships. 2. Express your feelings. Expressing your feelings is very important for the development and stability of your relationship. It can enhance the stability of your relationship and let the other party feel at ease. When you express your feelings, you are the other person knowing that you are paying, and you will maintain your relationship. 3. Avoid Cold War Long-distance relationship is the most taboo cold war, it is better to make a quarrel and make things clear. But the prerequisite is to quarrel with each other, try to express everything you want to express, try to solve one problem at a time, and don’t build up the backlog of problems and turn them into a time bomb. 4. Enjoying free space when lovers are away is lonely, but if you can make perfect use of it, it will also improve yourself. Think about the inconvenience of those who stick together every day and want to do private things. Isn’t this situation very good? You can pick up your mood and carefully craft a small gift on the other party’s birthday to give him a surprise. You can also improve your abilities during this time and fight for common happiness.

sina156
6 months ago

What about long-distance relationships? Very sensitive at night, I can feel that his mood is different from that in the afternoon. Something similar to the above happened before, and I really wanted him to tell me anything that happened. He also kept pushing that there was no no. However, intuitively, it is impossible to leave it like this. As a result of constant questioning, there was a quarrel. At the end of the quarrel, he summed it up in one sentence, and I really hate your breaking the casserole to ask the end. I am dumb. This kind of thing has been repeated many times, and I didn’t ask anything until the end of the quarrel. It’s always because he said I really hate you to break the casserole and ask to end the quarrel, because I don’t know what to respond to him, seeing him tired. It seems that the psychology is the heartache to him, the grievance to himself. My grievance comes from our long-distance relationship, I love you, and I want to know what happened in your life, just like telling you what happened to me. I also hope that you will tell me what you have and what you encounter. In this way, I can feel that you are willing to let me participate in your life. Later, because of this, we all felt very tired for this relationship. He is cautious every time he speaks, every time I relied on loving him, caring for him, and taking care of his good. Until recently, he personally told me that he was very tired talking to me, heart tired, body tired, I realized that I was wrong. I started to stop talking about things that I didn’t say to him but I was puzzled, and I broke the casserole and asked to the end, and no longer got angry when he was going to sleep in the video with me. Because I love him, I can’t make him so tired, and I’m cautious every day. However, what should I do if I feel that he is down and unhappy? Meeting every day is different from long-distance dating. I could give you hugs and kisses to comfort you when we were living together every day. Take you to eat delicious food, take you to do things that you find relaxing, as long as I stay with you, you say that all things are small things. What about our long-distance relationship now? Without seeing each other, nothing can be done. I was working outside alone, I met new friends, and then some things were inconvenient to share with the target, so I shared it with my new friend. The enthusiasm couldn’t be given to many people at the same time, so I started chatting with my partner and became perfunctory, and I didn’t share things with him much. Sometimes because I have been busy without looking at my phone, sometimes because I am chatting with others. I can’t rely on the object here either. The object is still in the state where I am by his side. I will ask new friends and build a good relationship with my colleagues, so that I can live better here. Some things are not easy to share, and I don’t dare to tell the object if I am not happy. I find that when I live alone, it’s pretty good. It’s simple and happy. I don’t know why I suddenly wanted to search for this topic. I also feel that the beginning of the article is a bit like our current state. Maybe it was because I quarreled again last night, or it was recent events that made me a little tired. I only shared happiness, not unhappiness. he does not know

yahoo898
6 months ago

My boyfriend and I are in a different place. The round-trip air ticket is about 1,500. If you come, you will have to play for two or three days at least. Accommodation is 300+ not too much. For two people, it costs about 100 a day. See you once a month~? My wallet doesn’t allow acridine~ and I think the distance really produces beauty. We are noisy when we are together. The first day he came to find me, I was full of “You are so annoying, you go back soon.” If A relationship needs to meet each other to maintain it, maybe it’s not that deep~

leexin
6 months ago

Distance: 1272 kilometers. My boyfriend and I are trying to meet once a month except for winter and summer vacations. It is really necessary to meet! I feel that meeting is like recharging the feelings, but the specific meeting frequency depends on the needs of two people. I’m a junior and my boyfriend has graduated when he is three years old, so the meeting is basically on weekends. I plan to spend time on the road and choose the most suitable combination of trains. Every time we get together: meet at 11 pm on Friday-Sunday afternoon 4 o’clock. The distance is as follows: (The minimum time for waiting for the transfer is excluded below) The journey time: 10 minutes by taxi + 1 hour by intercity + 15 minutes by subway + 6 hours by high-speed rail + 40 minutes by subway + 15 minutes on foot (8 hours and 20 minutes) Time: 15 minutes on foot + 40 minutes by subway + 1 hour and 30 minutes by high-speed rail + 13 hours by train + 10 minutes by taxi (15 hours and 35 minutes). He came to me most of the time last year. This year he is also busy. Basically, he takes turns to go back and forth. once. He came to me for a common expenditure of about 2,000, and I went to him for a common expenditure of about 1,500. Because I was still a student, I basically only paid the round-trip fare, and he contracted everything for meals, although every time he said that he would buy a ticket for me. He usually spends more when he comes to me, and will have one more accommodation. The distance to meet is very long, and the time to stay together is very short, but we both feel that we must meet once a month, because once the two people do not touch for a long time after this time, it is a strong feeling of being in a different place, and I will not be able to control it. I’m angry for a reason, but there is no problem at all when I meet. And the anticipation of the week before the meeting and the happiness of the week after the meeting will make it less difficult to miss the two weeks of a month. So we meet once a month, charge for two days, and the battery life is just right for one month! The previous answer was inexplicable and a lot of praise, now it’s a record post.

greatword
6 months ago

It’s necessary because I like to hug each other. Haha. When I first got together with my boyfriend, I was in a different place. I saw it almost once a week or half a month. I think it’s okay. But! It’s really uncomfortable to separate after living together for a while. When I was working in the same place, I stayed together every day for about a year. Now two people work in different cities. They basically see each other once a week. At first, they are not used to it, and they have a temper. They will miss the feeling of getting up every day and having to hug each other. Hahahahahahaha. Some time ago, it rained every day and I found all kinds of excuses to go home every day. The commute time was almost 2 hours a day. I felt that it was too fragrant for two people to sleep together and feel safe. I’ll miss it very much if I don’t see it for a week. Like my boyfriend and my old husband and wife, I miss them if they haven’t seen each other for a week, Hmmm. So I think long-distance relationships are prone to problems if the relationship is unstable and not seeing each other for a long time. It would be great to keep a certain frequency of meetings~~ For example, a week Or maybe half a month, a month will feel strange…I want to hold such a handsome boyfriend every day!

loveyou
6 months ago

My boyfriend and I spent a year in a different place, when we met every three weeks. Most of the time, I take the high-speed rail from Beijing to Nanjing after get off work on Friday, and then take the high-speed rail back to Beijing from Nanjing on Sunday evening. If you see it once every two weeks, the cost is too high, and if you see it once a month, you will miss it very hard. Three weeks is basically the limit at which I can stabilize my emotions. At that time, he was studying Ph.D. 4 in Nanjing. In addition to doing experiments and writing papers, he also has to do several subject projects, as well as managing the laboratory and other miscellaneous things. He is very busy every day, and he is still in the laboratory at 11 o’clock in the evening. There are no winter and summer vacations and weekends. Even when I went to see him, he had to go back to the laboratory to deal with things from time to time. And I was working in Beijing at the time, from nine to six, weekends. I often didn’t get a reply when I sent him WeChat messages during the day. At night, we usually call and video when he is on his way back to the dormitory or when there is no one in the laboratory. Online text communication is usually lagging, and in many cases there is even no response. This kind of non-face-to-face communication sometimes amplifies the negative emotions of both parties, causing my mood swings during the remote period to be relatively large, and we have also quarreled. Many times. But after each meeting, I was able to resolve previous dissatisfaction, stabilize my emotions, and get a temporary sense of peace of mind. After the separation, longing and negative emotions will gradually increase, and by three weeks, it is basically the limit. So we gradually formed the rule of seeing once every three weeks. After each meeting, before the next meeting, I will look forward to seeing each other more and more. The feeling of anticipation and the happiness every time we meet are our very fond memories. Long-distance relationship wants to maintain the relationship, regular meeting and communication is a must. But everyone’s feelings are different. There are workaholic girls around me who only meet a boyfriend from another place once in three or four months. She feels that it’s okay not to meet, and she doesn’t miss it usually, and she doesn’t need to contact her if she has nothing to do. Now they have broken up.

strongman
6 months ago

Do you want to experience a long-distance relationship? Do you think long-distance relationship is a “challenge” or an opportunity? I think many girls will give negative answers when facing these two questions. In everyone’s inherent perception, long-distance relationships are not good, just like scourges, they will only fragment the love between two people. And in life, there are many examples of long-distance relationships that ended without a disease, further deepening everyone’s thoughts. Therefore, girls keep their long-distance relationship farther away. Indeed, long-distance relationships are difficult. On this point, the stacks of train tickets can be witnessed. That paragraph after paragraph, the voice call that started for a few hours can also be witnessed. Even though there are many difficulties in long-distance relationships, I still want to tell you: most of the problems that arise in long-distance relationships are not determined by the “remote” itself, but by you not being able to run a long-distance relationship. For example, when many people enter a long-distance relationship, they will think from the bottom of their hearts: “remote” is a disadvantage in the relationship, not an advantage. In fact, this consciousness itself is wrong. Because the more you care about something, the more likely it will become a “problem.” For example, if you find a small black spot on your body, if you don’t care, it is a small black spot. But if you care very much, or even think about it, then you are likely to regard this little black spot as a precursor to cancer. The same is true for long-distance relationships. If you focus all your attention on the disadvantages of the remote place, then over time, the disadvantages of the remote place will really be effective. For example, you feel lonely and feel very insecure, and then under this feeling of loneliness and insecurity, you make some wrong behaviors and bring harm to the relationship between two people. On the contrary, if you put all your attention on the advantages of a remote place, then the remote place may not be a good experience. Then let’s talk about it specifically: Where are the advantages of long-distance relationships? Three words: a sense of distance. As the saying goes, distance produces beauty. Young couples get tired of being together every day, and they will inevitably get bored over time. Keep a proper distance, just to a certain extent, to keep the love of two people fresh. Of course, strictly speaking, the distance between different places does not belong to the “appropriate distance”, especially under the blessing of time, the problems caused by different places will be more obvious. Therefore, you need to find a way to narrow the psychological distance between two people on the basis of a different place. For example, don’t chat with a man every day, because two people will have a poor word when they chat. After a word is poor, it will be embarrassment. This embarrassment will erode the relationship between two people. The correct approach is to continuously enrich the interaction between two people on the basis of chat. 1 First of all, two people can accomplish one thing together. For example, chasing a movie or TV series together, raising a pet together, enrolling in an interest training class together, and so on. Once they have a specific thing, two people can interact naturally around it. For example, when two people are chasing a drama together through a video call, they can urge the other party to quickly finish the work at hand, and then officially start the journey of chasing the drama. In the process of chasing the drama, two people can also discuss the plot together, or take the opportunity to say some love words, tease or tease each other, these are very wonderful experiences. For another example, when two people raise a cat, do they need to choose cat food, choose snacks, and prepare a room for the cat. These operations can provide a basis for interaction between the two people. In a word: Don’t talk dryly with men every day, but create some incidents, and then let the chat happen spontaneously. Only in this way, the interaction between two people is interesting, and it can also shorten the distance between the two people. 2 In addition, you can also narrow the psychological distance between two people through some in-depth spiritual and emotional exchanges. I don’t know if you have any experience of “remembering” in online chat? If you have ever experienced or heard of this kind of thing, then you will definitely have a question in your heart: two people have never seen each other before they show up. They are simply sending voices and chatting online, why can they be Become a spiritual confidant? In fact, reaching the spiritual world requires not only a certain spiritual common ground between two people, but also a relatively depressing psychological environment. The so-called “relatively depressed psychological environment” refers to the fact that two people are suffering from each other’s loneliness, suffering from longing, and suffering from the oppression that cannot be desired. In this case, the spiritual communication between two people will be more meaningful. It is precisely because of this that two people are more likely to become spiritual confidants. On the contrary, if two people can meet every day, the relatively depressive psychological environment will disappear, and then that kind of spiritual understanding will be difficult to achieve. Now, two people are experiencing a long-distance relationship, which is similar to the situation when two people are dating online. So you can fully strengthen the spiritual communication and exchange between the two people in this situation. For example, if a man is wronged in the company, he is helpless when he comes home, and he doesn’t even have the mood to video chat with you. You can send him a private message with the content edited like this: “My dear, when you encounter difficulties outside, don’t forget that you still have me. Although I can’t help you too much, I will always I support you in spirit. You will always be my hero, the man who can support our home and make my life colorful.” After hearing this, the man’s heart will definitely feel great. Comfort. This kind of comfort, because two people are in different places and cannot communicate well, they will become more powerful. And this will eventually promote two people to become better spiritual partners. The underlying logic: Many times there are not so many black and white answers to what happens in love. When encountering difficulties, I will complain and feel unhappy, but the long-distance self will have to solve the problem by itself. Originally, the distance is far away. Occasionally, a phone call is still bad emotions and complaints. Everyone is an adult and must be able to control their own lives. Since you want to be a partner on the road in life, don’t become a burden to the other party. How can there be charm if you can’t support your own life?

stockin
6 months ago

This is not necessarily the case. After all, it is easy to say if it is a high-speed rail transportation line, but what about a foreign country? Did they all break up? If the meeting is transformed from the surprise of “the little one wins the newlyweds” into a task of “paying public food”, to be honest, it is difficult for people to feel that there is a future in this kind of relationship. After all, the reason why many couples break up after marriage is not because each other has really changed, but because they are tired of “day after day”. For this reason, I feel that instead of limiting the time, the subject should consider using festivals such as 618 to give her boyfriend something good. I wanted to talk about some notebooks or mobile phones (I personally recommend buying a thin and light notebook, and then go to Starbucks to install it). But after all, it’s not clear about the subject’s income. In case, students may fall into a consumption trap, so find something cost-effective, such as: Langshi Youth Muscle Energy Trilogy. In fact, although modern people pay more and more attention to skin problems, many elders, including me, always feel that if they buy similar products themselves, they will look more “mother”. But if it was given by a girlfriend, it would definitely be used happily! And this series of suits is simply tailor-made for your boyfriend: whether you are busy with school or work, you will inevitably have the need to stay up late. You can’t see it in your early 20s. If it’s almost 30, a young guy can easily Become a greasy middle-aged person in a short time. To put it simply, the whole “cleansing” logic of the suit is: the first step: use multifunctional cleansing Tmall high-end men’s cleansing NO.1, which integrates deep cleansing, moisturizing and soothing, and gentle exfoliation; stick to daily use, it can relieve Blackheads and oil problems can also make the shaving process more comfortable and convenient. Step 2: Sapphire Bottle A brand star product that helps relieve skin irritation. Use it after cleansing or shaving to make your skin feel fresh and comfortable immediately. The third step: Stay up late essence lotion, using 4% niacinamide anti-oxidant complex and acetyl hexapeptide-8 to relieve the dull skin and large pores caused by staying up late, and inject all-weather vitality into the skin, so that you can stay up late face. In this way, not only can he maintain a vigorous and young state daily, but also when he meets again after a long absence, he will always be the sunny boy in his memory. Naturally, he can also feel the “benefit”. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to think that you are a woman worthy of being with you for a lifetime?

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