My family status is very poor. My household registration is a non-local rural area. My father has a primary school degree and my mother has a junior high school degree. When I was very young, I lived with my parents in other cities. My father worked and my mother was a housewife. My father joined my mother’s family. So my mother always wanted me to find a son-in-law. In addition, there was an accident in our family in 2017. My father was paralyzed by cerebral hemorrhage and was unable to take care of himself. There has been no source of income at home. My mother was determined to let me find a son-in-law in the future.

Besides, I am my only daughter, a nursing major at a medical university. I graduated this year with very good academic performance, but because of my family situation, I can’t go on to school. Because of the good looks and body, many boys like it during school. Maybe my mother and I don’t have the same three views. I like boys who have the same topic and are better than me. But I also know that in a situation like my family, I can only find a son-in-law who has worse family conditions. . . I really can’t accept this, and most of the boys I know in my circle are only children. No one can accept being a door-to-door son-in-law. My mother said that she was looking for a door-to-door son-in-law because she wanted to find a man to help me, so I don’t need it. After marrying to someone else’s house, I won’t be able to come back when anything happens at home. My mother also said that there is no requirement for academic qualifications, height or appearance, no occupation, just a job, no house or car, and no gift, as long as my family gets married. . . . .

I really don’t want to do this. First of all, I am very traditional, and I feel very awkward if I can’t accept a man’s inverted penetration. Secondly, the boys I met during school and the boyfriends I talked with before and my mother said that the door-to-door son-in-law is almost irrelevant. Finally, I want to find someone who has almost the same experience as my three views, not a difference. Too many door-to-door son-in-laws.

Once I refuted, my mother would say that I am selfish and that marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families. . . . What if you marry me and your dad? . . Since I was a child, I have always listened to what my parents say, and I have never even had a rebellious period. I didn’t find myself until I was in college. I wanted to live like myself, but I really didn’t want to find a son-in-law. . . .

This has made me feel very inferior. I don’t dare to fall in love after college. If I don’t look at family conditions, my own conditions are pretty good, but I can’t find a boyfriend I like and I know my family. After the conditions, which boy would be willing to be with me, come to my house to do charity?

Chasing. . . .

Because my dad is the door-to-door son-in-law, my mother is from a rural area in Hebei Province. Many in that village are looking for door-to-door son-in-law. My mother also has a sister, that is, my old aunt married out, so my mother has to find the door-to-door son-in-law. Then my dad’s family is in a rural village in Inner Mongolia. There are five siblings and four sons. My dad is eleven years older than my mom. My mom is 19 years old and married. My dad is 30 years old and they got married. , And then got married. My surname is my dad, my registered permanent residence is my mom, and I came to Tangshan, Hebei with my parents when I was very young, and has been living in Tangshan. My mom has never worked as a housewife since I got married. , Even if I rely on my dad to work, my dad has always treated my mom very well, and then I go back to my grandma’s house during vacations and other things. I have never been back to my grandmother’s house, and I have no impression. My mom has a very strong personality, and she is very strict with me and my dad. . . When I was young, I didn’t know why my father didn’t have a registered permanent residence with us. I have always had the label of children of migrant workers in school. Maybe the family is more complicated. I only understood what happened in the last two years. I can’t accept it. Maybe my mom wants me to find someone like my dad too

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
7 months ago

This problem is really troublesome! First of all, freedom of marriage, this is the law. No one can interfere with your freedom, including your parents. Of course, from a human point of view, biological parents have a lot of helplessness. How to do it? See if you can find grandpa or grandparents to do the work and help yourself to do a good job. I have to argue with my parents. If it doesn’t make sense, then you have to consider seeking local women’s rights protection intervention. Seek support and protection from outside. If it doesn’t work, you need to consider “running away from home” and avoid the family temporarily. After all, you are not willing to send your parents to court. Can’t hurt the feelings of a lifetime. Of course, you can’t sacrifice your own happiness. Marriage is the major event of your life. It is your personal freedom and happiness that determines your life’s happiness. The rest of the interference is suspected of being illegal. good luck!

heloword
7 months ago

Your mother is naive. I think you might as well follow your mother’s thoughts and ask her, what if the son-in-law’s home is more difficult than yours? One is paralyzed in your family, and the other is paralyzed in his family. If you don’t get married, you and your mother will be 2V1, and if you are married, you will be married to your mother 3V3. You are also interesting. You also said that the door-to-door is to help your family want to help the poor, and it is not always certain who will help. After all, in this world, there is no poorest, only poorer. I understand your mother’s mind. You ask her, even if your dad is a door-to-door son-in-law, she has been able to say nothing in her marriage for decades? There is nothing wrong with it? She ran away after having children and raising children? Did your dad’s parents leave her alone? It’s not that you can’t find a son-in-law, but you don’t need to think that everything will be fine if you find a son-in-law. On the contrary, if you are too obsessed with finding a door-to-door son-in-law, you might be fooled by someone who has the intention. I’m advising you and your mother with this sentence: There are many ways to form a family, and you don’t have to be obsessed with one and reject the other. There is another sentence to advise you: whether it’s the man who goes to your house or you go to the man’s door, or whether you and the boy are separated from your parents, you will have more choices before you improve your hard power. Skin appearance and the like, the shelf life is really limited, and if you look at it too much, you will feel tired.

helpyme
7 months ago

Your mother is not looking for a son-in-law, she is looking for a long-term job! Dedicating my girl’s life to find a long-term job for my family… I really can’t understand it. In my case, I must try my best to let the girl live her own life, instead of letting her give everything to help me live my life. Half a lifetime. Moreover, your mother’s vision is too short, and she saw the little bit in front of her. Only when you find a good partner can her life be better, instead of looking for someone with poor personal conditions, find someone with poor personal conditions. Not only will she have a hard time in the second half of her life, but you will also have a hard time in the second half of her life. How can she not think of this? My suggestion is to let your mother read the comments! It’s 2021, why can’t my married daughter go back to her natal home? Someone tied her? You ask her to think about it, find someone whose family conditions are worse than yours, and whose personal conditions are much worse than yours (can you agree to join your family in this way?) Let her think about how bad that person is! In addition to living in your home, what else can I help you? Then you are giving birth to a child with him, and you will be trapped by him in this life. When the child grows up, let her find a son-in-law to help you improve your family…If this continues, your family’s conditions will not improve. . Let her understand that those who can find potential stocks are all girls with particularly good family conditions. In your family, you can only find the kind of people whose personal conditions are too bad to be seen.

sina156
7 months ago

Why should you worry about this? It doesn’t have to be noisy. Is there really anyone in the city willing to marry you? Don’t think you have a lot of contact with boys, the boys who fall in love are good, and there are very few who are really willing to give you a gift and get engaged. As soon as you hear about your family conditions, your husband’s parents will firmly oppose it and will not give you the slightest chance! You just haven’t gotten to this point, haven’t seen the reality that you can’t cross the thunder pond, and still have beautiful illusions, even the Phoenix girl is not a Phoenix girl, and she is outstanding in personal conditions. Your personal conditions are just ordinary and your parents are dragging you down. It’s very difficult. Married. Even if you marry, you must marry. As for the door-to-door son-in-law asking your mother to go to the city to find it, it’s strange! Even a poor man in his own family, who wants to go to a poor man’s house to be a lifelong caregiver? No! Your mother is whimsical, you don’t need to fight against it and let your mother find it! Can you find a job even if your dad passes away? Work during the day, and at night the caregiver has to take care of the mother-in-law and the child? Is anyone willing to choose this kind of life? Does your mother think everyone else is stupid? Are you as obedient and at the mercy of your own girl? Foolish dreams! Overestimate! Go to the village to find the old bachelor, second-rate? Is that someone who can be a caregiver? Many people ate and slept, slept and ate, and became even poorer. You are looking for a boy who loves free love and marriage, someone who loves you, can you love your family? Your mother is looking for a door-to-door son-in-law to take care of your dad when someone is willing to come to the door when he is poor and sick Are mother and daughter both drawing cakes to satisfy their hunger? Where is the person? Where is the prince charming to marry you? Where is the man who is going to be your son-in-law? No one, no one really noisy so noisy? Everyone has the ability, first find someone and then say no one. Do you dream of getting married? Are your mother and daughter arguing for something out of nothing? It’s not worth it. Have time to earn money to treat your dad’s illness. Marriage is not the first priority.

yahoo898
7 months ago

For families with good conditions or the only child, the parents must not agree to the son-in-law. Without a deep emotional foundation, the other party will not betray your parents for you. Those who are willing to be a door-to-door son-in-law with poor conditions must have better conditions for the woman, which means that the man is most likely because his own conditions are not as good as you, and his family conditions are not good. The support for your parents is mainly dependent on you financially, and the man is also a nanny. In the future to raise children, your husband will have to take care of your dad if his education is not good enough for a job. You won’t make a lot of money, and you mainly have to pay for it. If you work hard, you will come to your son-in-law. Grandparents don’t care if the child is normal. As for your mother, you can ask her if she can promise to take the child in the future. After all, you are the main force in making money. Moreover, the law does not stipulate that the door-to-door son-in-law does not need to support their parents. After ten or twenty years, the parents-in-law will have to pay for alimony. Of course, the share of brothers and sisters will not be too much according to the standards stipulated by the law. However, you have to make sure that your husband has a deeper affection for you than his biological parents, otherwise, if someone pays a little more money to your parents, or temporarily lays down your father-in-law to take care of the illness, there is nothing wrong with emotion or reason. Or, you can find someone who has no father and no mother, comes out of an orphanage, and has a good appearance, education, and work? In fact, the best strategy for your parents is to find a good job and a good husband. At that time, maybe your husband and wife can only take care of your father with only one-tenth of their financial resources. If you only ask for a door-to-door son-in-law, and don’t care about character conditions, you have to make money for your husband. How much can you spend on your father? Besides, in the same absence of supervision, is a son-in-law who eats soft meals better than a well-paid nurse? After all, carers can be changed, but son-in-law is not so easy to change. Of course, there are not no men who have good character and bad qualities, who love each other and have the courage to make dedication. It depends on whether you can meet them.

leexin
7 months ago

Don’t look for a son-in-law. In modern marriages, men and women are equal, so a considerable number of families are indeed dominated by men and women or by the mother’s surname. But people have modern marriage first, and then family role selection. The focus is on modern marriage rather than role selection. My son-in-law is not. Zuosheng is a purely traditional marriage model. Recruiting son-in-law at home means that everyone trades men for women in the framework of the traditional marriage model, and women are strong and men are weak. This kind of family structure has nothing to do with modern marriage, and it is a completely feudal legacy. From the perspective of modern civilization, being a son-in-law is equivalent to backward and ignorant. From the perspective of traditional patriarchy, surrogate son-in-law is humiliating. Your father has carried the burden of his life, emotions, and spirit all his life. Now his old man is paralyzed and his life can be described as miserable. Ask yourself, are you willing to let the one you love do the same? That’s your lover!

greatword
7 months ago

No, what age is it? You are also a college student anyway, so why do you still have the concept of getting married? ! Nowadays, young people, especially only-children, get married independently from their native families and set up their own small families, and then both parents have the same maintenance and care obligations! I understand your parents’ worries, but you must first turn your own ideas! Marry flat, marry flat! Then find a boy who has the same ideas, and you tell your parents together that both parents are the same when married, and you will have your own home, and you will not go to anyone’s home to talk about it. Finally, since it is a flat marriage, and your parents can’t help much, then you should try to earn money while you are young to save your dowry, so that your flat marriage can be more confident! Enough money can solve your parents’ dilemma

loveyou
7 months ago

You are too hard! Want to find an inverted door in the city (not the countryside)? Men who are much worse than you are not necessarily willing to step in. Why does your mother want to be so beautiful? As far as your dad is paralyzed, you can hardly find an only child, and parents are reluctant to let their children serve the paralyzed patients. But according to your mother’s theory, you have to cut the door backwards, you can only look down, not up. But if you are really poor, you will always settle the bill, and you will certainly not be able to accept that your dad is paralyzed, always taking medicine and spending money all the time. Unless it is true love, and there is no interference from the other’s parents, chances are you can really find someone who is willing to share the joys and sorrows with you. But nestling next to the elders, you still can’t just work hard, you still need time and effort to take care of your paralyzed father, and basically you can’t develop. Instead of this, why look for someone? Work hard on your own career! If you feel that you are still young and you are dragged down and cannot develop, then you will be independent from now on. As long as you go out, you will go home every year during the Chinese New Year. Your parents can’t control your relationship issues. They are all grown-ups, and their own marriage is in charge. If you find a good one and then go home to report, your parents can’t help it!

strongman
7 months ago

Recruiting a son-in-law is just a means. You have to figure out the demands behind your mother’s means. If the demands are met, the problem will be solved. Why does your mother want a son-in-law? In addition, there was an accident in our family in 2017. My father was paralyzed by cerebral hemorrhage and was unable to take care of himself. There has been no source of income at home. My mother was determined to let me find a son-in-law in the future. My mother said that she was looking for a son-in-law because she wanted to find a man to come to my house to help, so that I don’t have to marry someone else’s house, and I won’t be able to get back what happens in the future. 1. Find a laborer to make money and give all the money to my family. 2. Find a man to help take care of the paralyzed husband. 3. In the future, if something happens at home, someone will take care of you. In order to meet these requirements, let alone consider your happiness, your mother will be brazenly selling her daughter. In addition, your mother does not require academic qualifications to look tall, or even a bride price. It shows that your mother thinks that you and your future husband’s academic work plus a large sum of money are not as valuable as a care worker who has worked for 30 years for free. You just need to prove that your mother is wrong. To be honest, it’s not that easy. There was a documentary before, about why the poor can’t get rid of poverty? Is it because they are stupid? Is it because they are lazy? It’s not, because it consumes all time in order to survive and doesn’t increase one’s own abilities. Without new abilities, the money earned can only live, and then spin in the whirlpool until it runs out of life. The way to get rid of the whirlpool is to improve your ability. Isn’t that what you study for? Of course, the first step from the quagmire is particularly difficult. You may need to be rebellious, cruel, and selfish at the beginning, and strive to improve your ability and salary. When your salary exceeds at least half of a lowest-level caregiver, your advantage is reflected. When your salary can fully cover a low-level caregiver, your mother will be really fragrant. Study hard, children, to improve yourself is the great way.

stockin
7 months ago

Wishes are always good, but unrealistic wishes are fantasy. Children can have fantasy, but if adults use fantasy to direct their lives, there is a high probability that they will fall into the ditch. For example, my family is very poor, and I have a younger brother. I look very ordinary, but my parents always want me to marry a rich man, and then this rich man must not only treat me well, but also treat them well. The kind that helped my family get rid of poverty and get rich. There was also a small episode in the middle. Once my mother and I went to my aunt’s house. The aunt’s daughter-in-law was my cousin. She said that there was a factory manager in their town who opened a factory. Flexible, not so stupid, one year younger than me. The cousin’s main point is that if I want to, this is a good thing. Maybe my cousin just said it, maybe she was deliberately disgusting me. After all, my family is very poor. Of course, I don’t know her true intentions. My mother said nothing on the spot. After returning home, accidentally ahead of this incident, my mother’s attitude turned out to be this: their son is staying, so their family must want to find a smart daughter-in-law, so that the daughter-in-law can take charge of the family business after she passes the house. Forget it, you won’t be bullied. If someone’s daughter can marry, it’s a blessing… As a mother, the right thing to do is to refute on the spot. If you have a bad temper, you can even swear, even for the sake of face between relatives. What to say, after returning home, you should also educate your daughter to say: Two people live together, it’s not enough to have money, and you can’t live without communication. But my mother, who uses fantasy to direct her life, everyone sees how she does it. Be surprised and ruin the Three Views. Therefore, the host is in charge of his own future and decides his own affairs.

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