Education, there is a set of unique knowledge, called the mountain to fight cattle. Basically most of the educational scenes and educational problems are carried out by this method. Many parents and new teachers only know to charge their children hard. Going home and yelling at the child at class, yelling at the child, and then getting sick. I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with doing this with the child. Is it just to experience being the tyrant in other people’s lives? The legendary addiction? Regarding self-discipline, we can actually look at it from the adult world. What do we adults rely on for self-discipline? “Law” + “Ethics” In fact, in the identity of an adult, we will find that law and morality are internalized into cognition. There are no slogans everywhere, but there are boundaries in mind. The self-discipline we want is actually this kind of internal drive based on the establishment of external rules. He can ultimately limit himself, supervise himself, and drive himself. How to achieve it? At this time, it is necessary to mention “strike a cow across the mountain”. Because of the internalization of rules, the key lies in the establishment, implementation and supervision of external rules. It is not the children, but the parents and teachers. Not at the time, but in the past and the future. 1. The establishment of rules-objective, rational, and strict reward and punishment rules should initially be based on laws and regulations. Once children can perceive the world, they should be strictly enforced, as if this thing is born in the world. Bottom line: Strict punishment for theft, molestation, snatching and destroying other people’s property, cruelty to animals, etc., is the bottom line of the law. This kind of suggestion is directly corporal punishment + conversation + long-term supervision, and then it is necessary to ensure that it does not appear again. Moreover, this kind of bottom-line education starts in kindergarten, rather than when your child enters the society quickly, only to discover that he will commit a crime. Punishment: clear rules, clear means, clear scenes and clear goals. Parents are basically abusing punishment. Standards change with mood, and they may lose their temper. Punishment regardless of the occasion. After losing their temper, they will be gone. Waiting for the children’s inspiration As soon as the initiation is given, the child does not change at all, and then the parent becomes even more angry. This is the vicious circle. First of all, parents have to understand, what should be punished? Scene 1: My child scored 66 points in the test, which should not be punished. Because the exam is a process control link, it is used to detect the comprehensive situation of the previous knowledge learning. Compared with punishment, students need more confidence + objective problem analysis, so as to better complete the later stages of learning. Parents need to help students establish concepts: to get results, analyze, continue with the next step, rather than vent their emotions. Scene 2: My child did not write homework, which needs punishment. Because this is the obligation and responsibility above the student status. However, the punishment is based on asking the child’s work pressure and specific reasons. If the child has not completed it unilaterally because of the child’s implementation problems and the sense of responsibility, a small punishment is needed. And, after the punishment, it needs to be supervised and the choice is emphasized. In the next round, when the children do well, reward them and cooperate with the principle of strengthening. Secondly, punishment requires means and correct process. Punishment is not to beat and scold, but to solve the problem, be objective and rational, and exclude emotions. Preparatory work: understand the punishment scene, know what should be punished and what should not be. Understand the means of punishment and know the consequences of various means. Understand the child’s character and know his minefields. Objective analysis: Don’t get angry when you encounter a problem, ask the child about the situation, understand the background, and make a reasonable attribution. If it is not the child’s problem, the child will not be punished. Implement disciplinary action: After analyzing the reasons, the child must be convinced to carry out a reasonable disciplinary action, and the punishment is within the acceptable and achievable range. And, punishment is only task-based, such as completing an additional test paper, rather than insulting. Follow-up supervision: supervise the consequences of the completion of the punishment, and continue to pay attention to whether there are similar situations within a quarter. In the early stage of the punishment, the child will consciously not be involved in the minefield. At this time, we must give sufficient encouragement to help the child self-regulate. 2. The best punishment is to avoid punishment, and the best way to avoid punishment is to establish a reward system that can solve problems in the reward system. Basically, do not rely on punishment to solve the problem. And, most of the educational issues can be completed with rewards. In short, what kind of child you want, boast the child in what direction. At the beginning, when he had a little sign, he praised him. The follow-up will do better, the praise will be increased, and the scope will be expanded. Gradually, the child will go in that direction. Reward is like sunshine, and human beings are phototaxis. If the reward is sufficient and the parents make good use of the reward as a baton, there is no need for punitive measures to regulate behavior. Oral rewards, material rewards, private rewards, and public rewards all have different effects. In summary, use rewards as a baton, punishment as a bottom-line norm, and build an invisible system of rules outside the child, which is internalized to cognition and inertia. The moral bottom line is more important. This is the source of the internalization of self-discipline. The core of the moral bottom line is actually social identity. Through texts, classrooms, etc., children constantly recognize their own identity, and then clarify their goals in terms of ability and morality within their own identity. What a child sees and the moral system he knows comes from reading and learning on the one hand, such as learning to love parents and understanding father’s love in textbooks. This is the clarification of the moral category of a child’s identity. On the other hand, it comes from social life, especially the demonstration of parents and the people around them. The third move of Meng’s mother actually solved this problem. Children will identify with their identities from the surrounding environment and make clear moral choices. If parents have a very low moral bottom line and often expose low-ethical behaviors in front of their children, then the children should not think of any moral bottom line. Ethics actually helps us to identify the two questions of “what people should do for others” and “who am I and what should I do”. It is similar to an engine, which drives children to complete their self-identification and fulfill their obligations to others. People with a strong sense of morality will drive themselves to build. In general, the solution of educational problems lies not in the means, but in the purpose; not in the present, but in the past and the future; not in what the child is, but in how the parents educate and construct. The reasonable purpose is the reverse, and the reasonable means is the auxiliary, to solve the problems at this stage at the appropriate stage. And, if the parents can’t do it themselves, they are emotionally stable, attributable to reasonable attributions, and have clear values. It is directly recommended not to intervene, and they are done with appropriate encouragement. The more they intervene, the more the child will die.