Music is more layman, only from the perspective of interpersonal communication. Although everyone laughed at Chen Xiaojun, this dispute exposed a very common problem in interpersonal communication: always centering on oneself, unable to truly listen to and understand the demands of others. In a modern society where “independence” and “individualism” are admired, if “self-centeredness” (in other words, selfishness) becomes an addictive habit, people will never be able to obtain high-quality love, affection, and friendship. When two people disagree, the correct way of expression should be: explain a fact that has happened, tell the other person their emotions (how do you feel about this matter), make your own demands, and then the two people listen to each other and understand. Find a solution that can meet the demands of both parties. First, how did the conflict happen? When discussing their respective parts, Chen Xiaoyun took the initiative to choose section A. According to the correct way of expression, what she should say is: 1. This song is difficult, in my opinion, the latter part is not easy to sing (state the facts) 2 .I am worried that I will not be able to sing the latter part well and will mess up the whole performance, so I am very anxious (tell the other party my emotions) 3. So I hope to sing the opening part (make my own demands); and Joey Yung waits for a few singers The opinion is that the beginning part is not as simple as imagined, and it is also difficult for singers. It is necessary to find the person who is most capable of this part to sing. However, due to his extremely self-centered thinking and way of expression, Chen Xiaojun finally expressed the meaning: The latter part is difficult to sing, so it should be left to the singers to sing. I am confident that I can sing the opening part well, and I hope everyone believes me. If I want to sing in public, I just want to embarrass me, let me change parts, and question my ability. First of all, she directly expressed her feelings as a request to others: “You come to sing the latter part.” There is no even the stage of consultation (the reason is that singers who have strong ability should sing what she thinks is the most difficult part). At the same time, he completely ignored the concerns and demands of the singers. And for singers like Joey Yung, if they can correctly realize that Chen Xiaojun’s appeal comes directly from anxiety about their singing ability at the time of the conflict, they will spend more time explaining that the latter part may be simpler than the beginning, and comfort Chen Xiaojun everyone will work hard to help her sing her part well. But in fact, Joey Yung has done a good job. She explained that the second half of the song may not have the previous difficulties, but it is a pity that Chen Xiaoyu can’t listen to it. Later, when the two people quarreled in public in class, Chen Xiaoyu understood Joey Yung’s encouragement to everyone as a “persecution” to himself in a super-self way of thinking. In Joey Yung, he kept apologizing, saying that he was “tired and just wanted to be the team.” When it’s good, it ignores and responds to the views and emotions expressed by the other party, but reiterates “I know, I am also very anxious”. If you can stand in the position of others and see Joey Yung crying and apologizing, the first reaction should be to comfort her, respond to her apology, and then explain your feelings. –Why do so many people always only take themselves as the center in their interpersonal relationships? This is a way of self-protection, able to resist possible attacks from the outside world in a short time, and put one’s own emotions in the most important position. In other words, it is to put “be happy” in the first place. However, this approach will allow a person to shut out all high-quality intimacy, friendship, and family relationships, which is harmful and unhelpful in the long run. In order to pursue short-term happiness and comfort, they will lose long-term happiness.