Because in the eyes of a girl, if you like me, you will come to me. If you don’t come to me, it means you don’t like it. If you don’t like me so much, why should I come to you? It is true that such behavior seems irresponsible to boys, but in the world of girls, this is simply normal. Even in their eyes, you come to me and I have good feedback to you, which is the biggest initiative. Up. Yes, this is the peculiar reserve of girls. They have already engraved the equation of getting too fast = not being cherished in their hearts. I have to say that this is the case. When you are chasing a girl, if you just spend a little while checking in and chatting every day, even if the girl doesn’t like you, you won’t be so uncomfortable. You may encounter one or two setbacks. give up. But if you give this girl a gift every three to five, and the girl responds slowly to the message, you start to guess: What is she doing? What’s up with her? Why doesn’t she reply to my message? Does she not like to chat with me? Was there something wrong with the way I started the topic? ? These questions can come out of your mind in an instant. At this time, you have invested a lot of time, energy and money for this girl. If the girl’s attitude towards you is not that good, it is not so in your eyes. You will definitely not give up easily, because you have already paid a lot for this girl. Abandoning this girl means giving up all your previous efforts. Because of the existence of loss aversion, you will try to avoid the empty basket. situation. This is the truth, understand? The reason why girls are reserved. But it has been too hard to pay unilaterally. Now chasing girls is no longer a practice. Your excessive unilateral pay will be regarded as a dog licking, and girls will not take your dedication as a thing. But if you want to upgrade your relationship and contact with girls, it is inevitable. So what is the correct way to chase girls? In fact, the steps are the most important. When chasing a girl, you should not only consider your relationship with the girl, but also consider the corresponding relationship you should use. The following pure dry goods are recommended for collection. Directory: 1. Relationships and roles. 2. Initially establish contact. 3. Chat. 4. Upgrade the relationship. 1. Relationships and roles. First of all, we must clarify what is the relationship between you and the opposite sex? ——Unfamiliar relationship, friend relationship, confidant relationship, ambiguous object, and couple relationship. Generally speaking, the correct relationship advances gradually, and many boys express good feelings when they meet for the first time (after they have a good feeling), which is very easy Let girls feel the pressure of being leapfrogged. This is the reason why most boys fail as soon as they confess. Most of them are because, you think you are almost the same before, and you think you can confess. In fact, people and girls don’t feel like being together yet! 2. Initially establish contact. The initial establishment of contact is an important step for you from scratch. Are you friends? Or is it an ordinary interest relationship? You need to be clear. In order to reduce making mistakes when pursuing girls, I started as friends with others from the beginning. At this time, you can think carefully about how do you make friends? This can affect your final connection with girls to a certain extent. First of all, tell the other person what you think with sincerity, I think you are good to make friends! Although it is low, it wins in sincerity. If you really don’t want to be straightforward, try to find the common ground between two people. For example, if you are all students, if you are all fresh graduates, if you are in a similar industry, then you can establish preliminary connections through your common ground. 3. Chat. (1) Emotional chat. Most boys will link problem-solving ability with effective communication. This is okay. The problem is that men and women have different views on results. Boys raise the results infinitely (the help brought by actual effects), girls Infinitely care about the experience in the process. In other words, if you want to have a good chat with girls, you need to focus on the process of problem-solving. At the same time, in this process, you need to solve the emotional problems that girls can feel whether the process goes smoothly or not. How should you talk? If the girl tells you-I’m not feeling well. How would you answer? “What’s wrong? Didn’t you catch a cold? Did you buy medicine? I’ll buy it for you! Stop by and see you.” Such a reply will only make girls feel that no matter what they reply to is not good and weird. But if you reply like this. “Is there too much mental stress recently, too tired at work? Pay attention to rest, physical health is more important than work.” The effect is superior after comparison. For the latter, girls will feel better because you understand her body. The real reason for the discomfort was the discovery of her emotional problems. (2) Starting a topic When it comes to topics, many boys don’t know what to talk about, and many boys actually still take the initiative to talk, but because the other person’s answer is equivalent to no feedback, I can’t talk about it anymore. In fact, you still have the desire to chat, but because the way you open the topic makes people unable to reply, the chat cannot be carried out. If you ask a girl like that-where do you live? The other person will feel like asking me where do I live? You are not coming to me! There must be no peace of mind, if you ask. “You should be a southern girl! I feel that your tone of voice is so subtle” (presumably knowing whether the other party is south or north) This is more subtle and useful than asking the other party where they live. Then you can continue to inquire through the external characteristics given by the other party, step by step to learn what you really want to know. (3) Feeling the chat During the chat, two people talk about each other’s state at the beginning, but the state is not the center of the topic. The center of the topic refers to the feelings brought about by the state. Let me give you an example. If your state is—just arrived home and ready to cook. Then tell her. “Well, I just got home and I am preparing to cook” How should the other party answer you? In fact, there is nothing to answer, at most one question. “What are you going to do?” “Fried rice” and “Oh” the topic was completely interrupted. So in the process of chatting, your focus should be to put forward thoughts and feelings. No matter what you are doing, thoughts and feelings are the most important. The same topic. “I just got home, do you know? When I went shopping today, the supermarket was like dumplings” “Huh? What happened!” “There seems to be some activity, anyway, I almost passed by with beef.” This kind of expression can more easily stimulate girls’ desire to continue the topic. After you provide emotional value, you can rely on your own good material to bring other values. For example, you can buy gifts, but unexpectedly, girls will find something symbolic. For example-something specially prepared for xxx day, I hope you can remember this day forever. For example-I heard that you are a Virgo, but this thing is a gift specially prepared for Virgo. Barabara said the meaning behind some gifts. Giving spirits and rituals to things is more meaningful than giving things straight, and girls will also think you are a caring man. 4. Upgrade the relationship. 1. In the gap pursuit stage, you will continue to pay, but this pay is one-way, and if you don’t pay anything more valuable. Your original contribution will depreciate, so you need to create a gap and let the other party produce it-why don’t you care about me? I am very unhappy with the thought. The change in your giving behavior (the original giving stopped) makes her feel that her desire to obtain is not satisfied, and she will naturally feel whether you don’t want her anymore. Similarly, you are chatting and giving the other party positive emotional compensation. These are all the efforts you have made in this relationship. Then whatever you have done, you will stop your contribution immediately, even if the other party has taken the act of asking (take the initiative to find you) Chat, tell your dissatisfaction and wait for your comfort), don’t respond immediately, but wait an hour first, so that she will have an emotional gap and awaken her possessiveness. For example, if you have already met the other party offline, when you are in the crowd chatting offline, you can take the initiative to hold her hand, and then immediately put down her hand. At first, she will feel her heart beating faster, and if you let go, she will feel an inexplicable loss. In order to fill this sense of loss, she will take action to ask for it. At this time, she will have a desire to love and want to monopolize. . You create this sense of gap when you are still chatting. When you chatted and talked about what you were doing, she said, “Ah! I have been very idle lately, and there is no work to do as severe as the epidemic.” You can answer, “Indeed, we may eat soil in the second half of the year. You can’t grab it” (positive sense of gap) You can also know the negative sense of gap. She “has a very good-looking web drama called xxxx” You can answer “I don’t like that type of web drama, it will make some unpleasant memories” Whether it is positive or negative, you can awaken her curiosity and gap. 2. Competing when a girl has not established a relationship with you, she will often enjoy your efforts, but will not make more efforts to advance your relationship. At the same time, she will guide you to continue to pay to satisfy her private desires. There is a term in psychology called loss aversion. People often treat loss and gain with double standards, and think that loss is more annoying. And your being possessed by other people will arouse such a sense of disgust in her. And want to change this situation by paying. When you are in a state of competition, she will have the illusion that your value is increased. Originally, your contribution was only directed at her, but now another woman appears. She is very afraid that what she has gained is about to lose, and then give A complete stranger, this will make her extremely unbalanced, and then produce jealousy and fanatical possessiveness. Then when she sees that you have paid for other girls, she will immediately take action to change this situation. . For example, when you feel that your relationship has not progressed, and your enthusiasm is declining, you need to stop your efforts and make new friends, and then fake the illusion that you have a close relationship with this friend. There is a sense of boundaries between them, so that she will not have the idea of wanting to withdraw from this competition. 3. Reward The human nervous system has a unique reward mechanism, which will convey the feeling of happiness through the brain. At the same time, you provide goals and rewards, which will stimulate her feelings, thereby making her feel love. When a girl is being pursued, she actually has no goal. At this time, she will be very blind and don’t know what she should do in this relationship. If you have hardly given anything, she will ignore your existence, if you have given too much More, she will feel pressure again. This is caused by girls having no goals when they are being pursued. So your act of setting the reward mechanism is setting a long-term goal for her. To put it simply, what she can get with you (this is the ultimate goal). For example, you can temporarily set small goals. Every time you reach a goal, girls will get something from you. You can get gifts and some interesting emotional experiences (such as going out to experience new things together, skiing, and secret rooms). Escape and other things that have not been done before), acting as what every small goal deserves. Note that at this stage, she must pay her. Only when she pays your rewards will it be meaningful. She will continue to challenge more difficult goals and stay with you.