Because in the eyes of a girl, if you like me, you will come to me. If you don’t come to me, it means you don’t like it. If you don’t like me so much, why should I come to you? It is true that such behavior seems irresponsible to boys, but in the world of girls, this is simply normal. Even in their eyes, you come to me and I have good feedback to you, which is the biggest initiative. Up. Yes, this is the peculiar reserve of girls. They have already engraved the equation of getting too fast = not being cherished in their hearts. I have to say that this is the case. When you are chasing a girl, if you just spend a little while checking in and chatting every day, even if the girl doesn’t like you, you won’t be so uncomfortable. You may encounter one or two setbacks. give up. But if you give this girl a gift every three to five, and the girl responds slowly to the message, you start to guess: What is she doing? What’s up with her? Why doesn’t she reply to my message? Does she not like to chat with me? Was there something wrong with the way I started the topic? ? These questions can come out of your mind in an instant. At this time, you have invested a lot of time, energy and money for this girl. If the girl’s attitude towards you is not that good, it is not so in your eyes. You will definitely not give up easily, because you have already paid a lot for this girl. Abandoning this girl means giving up all your previous efforts. Because of the existence of loss aversion, you will try to avoid the empty basket. situation. This is the truth, understand? The reason why girls are reserved. But it has been too hard to pay unilaterally. Now chasing girls is no longer a practice. Your excessive unilateral pay will be regarded as a dog licking, and girls will not take your dedication as a thing. But if you want to upgrade your relationship and contact with girls, it is inevitable. So what is the correct way to chase girls? In fact, the steps are the most important. When chasing a girl, you should not only consider your relationship with the girl, but also consider the corresponding relationship you should use. The following pure dry goods are recommended for collection. Directory: 1. Relationships and roles. 2. Initially establish contact. 3. Chat. 4. Upgrade the relationship. 1. Relationships and roles. First of all, we must clarify what is the relationship between you and the opposite sex? ——Unfamiliar relationship, friend relationship, confidant relationship, ambiguous object, and couple relationship. Generally speaking, the correct relationship advances gradually, and many boys express good feelings when they meet for the first time (after they have a good feeling), which is very easy Let girls feel the pressure of being leapfrogged. This is the reason why most boys fail as soon as they confess. Most of them are because, you think you are almost the same before, and you think you can confess. In fact, people and girls don’t feel like being together yet! 2. Initially establish contact. The initial establishment of contact is an important step for you from scratch. Are you friends? Or is it an ordinary interest relationship? You need to be clear. In order to reduce making mistakes when pursuing girls, I started as friends with others from the beginning. At this time, you can think carefully about how do you make friends? This can affect your final connection with girls to a certain extent. First of all, tell the other person what you think with sincerity, I think you are good to make friends! Although it is low, it wins in sincerity. If you really don’t want to be straightforward, try to find the common ground between two people. For example, if you are all students, if you are all fresh graduates, if you are in a similar industry, then you can establish preliminary connections through your common ground. 3. Chat. (1) Emotional chat. Most boys will link problem-solving ability with effective communication. This is okay. The problem is that men and women have different views on results. Boys raise the results infinitely (the help brought by actual effects), girls Infinitely care about the experience in the process. In other words, if you want to have a good chat with girls, you need to focus on the process of problem-solving. At the same time, in this process, you need to solve the emotional problems that girls can feel whether the process goes smoothly or not. How should you talk? If the girl tells you-I’m not feeling well. How would you answer? “What’s wrong? Didn’t you catch a cold? Did you buy medicine? I’ll buy it for you! Stop by and see you.” Such a reply will only make girls feel that no matter what they reply to is not good and weird. But if you reply like this. “Is there too much mental stress recently, too tired at work? Pay attention to rest, physical health is more important than work.” The effect is superior after comparison. For the latter, girls will feel better because you understand her body. The real reason for the discomfort was the discovery of her emotional problems. (2) Starting a topic When it comes to topics, many boys don’t know what to talk about, and many boys actually still take the initiative to talk, but because the other person’s answer is equivalent to no feedback, I can’t talk about it anymore. In fact, you still have the desire to chat, but because the way you open the topic makes people unable to reply, the chat cannot be carried out. If you ask a girl like that-where do you live? The other person will feel like asking me where do I live? You are not coming to me! There must be no peace of mind, if you ask. “You should be a southern girl! I feel that your tone of voice is so subtle” (presumably knowing whether the other party is south or north) This is more subtle and useful than asking the other party where they live. Then you can continue to inquire through the external characteristics given by the other party, step by step to learn what you really want to know. (3) Feeling the chat During the chat, two people talk about each other’s state at the beginning, but the state is not the center of the topic. The center of the topic refers to the feelings brought about by the state. Let me give you an example. If your state is—just arrived home and ready to cook. Then tell her. “Well, I just got home and I am preparing to cook” How should the other party answer you? In fact, there is nothing to answer, at most one question. “What are you going to do?” “Fried rice” and “Oh” the topic was completely interrupted. So in the process of chatting, your focus should be to put forward thoughts and feelings. No matter what you are doing, thoughts and feelings are the most important. The same topic. “I just got home, do you know? When I went shopping today, the supermarket was like dumplings” “Huh? What happened!” “There seems to be some activity, anyway, I almost passed by with beef.” This kind of expression can more easily stimulate girls’ desire to continue the topic. After you provide emotional value, you can rely on your own good material to bring other values. For example, you can buy gifts, but unexpectedly, girls will find something symbolic. For example-something specially prepared for xxx day, I hope you can remember this day forever. For example-I heard that you are a Virgo, but this thing is a gift specially prepared for Virgo. Barabara said the meaning behind some gifts. Giving spirits and rituals to things is more meaningful than giving things straight, and girls will also think you are a caring man. 4. Upgrade the relationship. 1. In the gap pursuit stage, you will continue to pay, but this pay is one-way, and if you don’t pay anything more valuable. Your original contribution will depreciate, so you need to create a gap and let the other party produce it-why don’t you care about me? I am very unhappy with the thought. The change in your giving behavior (the original giving stopped) makes her feel that her desire to obtain is not satisfied, and she will naturally feel whether you don’t want her anymore. Similarly, you are chatting and giving the other party positive emotional compensation. These are all the efforts you have made in this relationship. Then whatever you have done, you will stop your contribution immediately, even if the other party has taken the act of asking (take the initiative to find you) Chat, tell your dissatisfaction and wait for your comfort), don’t respond immediately, but wait an hour first, so that she will have an emotional gap and awaken her possessiveness. For example, if you have already met the other party offline, when you are in the crowd chatting offline, you can take the initiative to hold her hand, and then immediately put down her hand. At first, she will feel her heart beating faster, and if you let go, she will feel an inexplicable loss. In order to fill this sense of loss, she will take action to ask for it. At this time, she will have a desire to love and want to monopolize. . You create this sense of gap when you are still chatting. When you chatted and talked about what you were doing, she said, “Ah! I have been very idle lately, and there is no work to do as severe as the epidemic.” You can answer, “Indeed, we may eat soil in the second half of the year. You can’t grab it” (positive sense of gap) You can also know the negative sense of gap. She “has a very good-looking web drama called xxxx” You can answer “I don’t like that type of web drama, it will make some unpleasant memories” Whether it is positive or negative, you can awaken her curiosity and gap. 2. Competing when a girl has not established a relationship with you, she will often enjoy your efforts, but will not make more efforts to advance your relationship. At the same time, she will guide you to continue to pay to satisfy her private desires. There is a term in psychology called loss aversion. People often treat loss and gain with double standards, and think that loss is more annoying. And your being possessed by other people will arouse such a sense of disgust in her. And want to change this situation by paying. When you are in a state of competition, she will have the illusion that your value is increased. Originally, your contribution was only directed at her, but now another woman appears. She is very afraid that what she has gained is about to lose, and then give A complete stranger, this will make her extremely unbalanced, and then produce jealousy and fanatical possessiveness. Then when she sees that you have paid for other girls, she will immediately take action to change this situation. . For example, when you feel that your relationship has not progressed, and your enthusiasm is declining, you need to stop your efforts and make new friends, and then fake the illusion that you have a close relationship with this friend. There is a sense of boundaries between them, so that she will not have the idea of ​​wanting to withdraw from this competition. 3. Reward The human nervous system has a unique reward mechanism, which will convey the feeling of happiness through the brain. At the same time, you provide goals and rewards, which will stimulate her feelings, thereby making her feel love. When a girl is being pursued, she actually has no goal. At this time, she will be very blind and don’t know what she should do in this relationship. If you have hardly given anything, she will ignore your existence, if you have given too much More, she will feel pressure again. This is caused by girls having no goals when they are being pursued. So your act of setting the reward mechanism is setting a long-term goal for her. To put it simply, what she can get with you (this is the ultimate goal). For example, you can temporarily set small goals. Every time you reach a goal, girls will get something from you. You can get gifts and some interesting emotional experiences (such as going out to experience new things together, skiing, and secret rooms). Escape and other things that have not been done before), acting as what every small goal deserves. Note that at this stage, she must pay her. Only when she pays your rewards will it be meaningful. She will continue to challenge more difficult goals and stay with you.


By zhiwo

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6 months ago

Some time ago, a user asked me that a girl I met before the Spring Festival was the one who took the initiative to tease me. At first, she was very proactive, but after the Chinese New Year, she also didn’t see her. She also went back to her hometown. At that time, she started to be a little bit. I’m not as active as before. I feel anxious. I often talk to her. Maybe it’s because of the remote place. I don’t know what to talk about. Afterwards, there are too many awkward conversations, and it is difficult to keep on talking. Now when she comes back to work, she has become less proactive. I don’t know what’s going on. Can I still be saved? In any case, your first impression of the girl is good, so the girl is very proactive towards you at first, and will take the initiative to tease you. This is certainly not a bad thing, but no matter how good things are, if their availability is too strong, they will become a bit cheap. It’s not that you are bad, but that you are suffering from gains and losses later, which makes her feel that “availability” is very high, and she pays less attention to you. It’s like the air around us, which surrounds us every day and is also important to our lives. If we can’t breathe air, we can’t live. But air is very easy to obtain, so we never think about trying hard to obtain air, air becomes cheap. This is the same reason in your situation. Girls are interested in you, but you are messed up in the future. She was very active towards you. Later, when she came home, she must have a lot of focus in life, her parents, and the sisters she hadn’t seen for many years. Old classmates and old friends all gather together, and for the New Year’s Eve, there are various apps for grabbing red envelopes. It’s normal that you can’t focus your energy on you. You should have maintained a normal mind and don’t need to care about this change. After all, you are not a boyfriend or girlfriend. You don’t need to deliberately maintain the heat. Only men and women who are in love need to maintain high-frequency interaction to maintain emotional concentration. And you haven’t got her yet, but you are at a loss and confused, even if you want to talk awkwardly, she can definitely feel that you are a man she can easily conquer. This is terrible, you become a highly available man in her heart, and she doesn’t need to try every means to tease you. What do you do next, it’s very simple, regain balance and reduce availability. That is, don’t go around her, lest you become the “polite” in her heart. In short, you can usually focus more on life, work, study, social interaction, interest, sports and fitness, and everything is fine. Just talk to her occasionally. She actively responds and talks more. If the reply is not positive, end the chat as soon as possible. Entanglement, in short, if she is willing to chat, she will talk more, if she is not willing, chat less, and don’t chat for the sake of chatting. Maintaining this state for about a month, she slowly discovers that you have not fallen, she does not feel that you are conquered by her, and the emphasis on you will increase again. It is difficult to cherish the things that are easily obtained. You must maintain a normal mind. Don’t overdo it or be too humble. You and her, no one is superior to each other, they are all equal. Especially for women, women are really easy to forget about things that are easy to get. Before a woman goes out every day, the biggest worry is to say to the closet filled with clothes: I have no clothes to wear. If there happens to be a piece of clothing that she spent a lot of money to buy, and it is a limited edition, then it is different. It will only be worn on special occasions. Usually she is reluctant to wear it, but will take care of it carefully, and she can’t bear to wash it beforehand when she needs it. Take it for dry cleaning. In sports competitions, we often say that heroes cherish heroes. It is rare to meet opponents, and they will be very enjoyable. Even if they are opponents, they will respect and cherish the opportunity of confrontation between the two sides. The same is true for the relationship between the sexes. A one-sided contest will not make people feel unsatisfied. You surrender at the beginning. It is impossible for you to make the other person cherish you, because you treat her as a goddess, and she will naturally show you the goddess. Arrogance,

6 months ago

Isn’t this normal if I’m just a normal friend or I’m just knowing you and I’m not looking for me. Why, because I’m lazy, I don’t know what to talk about, and I don’t have any expectations for awkward conversations unless we have a relatively common topic. I will look for you. Of course, if I like you, I will definitely take the initiative. There is also a secret reason that I am a girl, and I can’t feel a bit superior. Find the topic and find you back. It’s not bad. What do you want? So let’s say if you respond Yes, it’s fine if you take the initiative. As long as you don’t say you are annoying, you have to cover your face and keep annoying. Don’t add drama to yourself. Do you think that girls will not take the initiative to annoy me? Will they black me? A good response is the answer. What’s the use

6 months ago

I am female, and have a male sexual orientation. I almost fit this type. If I like a boy, of course I will reply to the messages he sends, but I rarely take the initiative to send messages because it feels a bit too deliberate. I don’t like to take the initiative. If the girl obviously shows the state of liking you and chasing you , I think she will definitely look for you. For girls who didn’t expressly chase you or like you, not taking the initiative does not mean they don’t like them. Maybe it’s no topic? Maybe not? Maybe it’s because you are afraid of acting too deliberately? If she doesn’t take the initiative, you can also try to find her proactively. If you like it, you have to fight for it. Maybe she is also looking forward to your information? Of course, if you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired. After all, feelings are two-way, not a unilateral stage. Can you inquire from the little sister next to her? If the other person doesn’t like it, I don’t think there is any need to take the initiative to send messages, because I don’t care if the person I don’t like sends me a message. It depends on how your relationship is with that girl, and if you have a good relationship, what messages will be sent between your friends. Not too abrupt

6 months ago

I think it’s normal for boys to take the initiative to find girls. It’s not that it’s reasonable. As a man, I also feel unfair. But due to the huge number of licking dogs in our country, this situation is basically difficult to change in the past ten years. The only thing I can do is to persuade the licking dog next to you to turn back and get back to business. In this situation, we can only take advantage of the trend. In my personal experience, I want a girl to take the initiative to find you. Under normal circumstances, I don’t want a girl to come to you. It may happen, maybe even after falling in love, I don’t take the initiative to find you many times. This is based on the psychology of a girl-the hidden communication behind this psychology is-I will drop the price if I am too active, and the other party will not cherish it if I am too active. This kind of psychology is actually what men are used to. How many men have a virgin complex? How many men think it is too much for a woman to have been in love for more than three times? It is precisely because men are paying attention to these points that women will be formed-the more conservative I am, the more expensive my idea is to put it plainly or some men are too cheap, the ones that are sent are not fragrant, the ones who are chasing are fragrant; treat your women well Don’t cherish, you who tortured you touched her in the palm of your hand and said so much, just want the man you see to realize this, and slowly adjust this unbalanced relationship. But for now, life is still going to be passed, girl The girl who still has to take the initiative to look for you will be counted on. If you have it, let’s have fun. But it doesn’t mean that we have to be so proactive all the time, licking our faces to talk to her. We are also dignified. Well, I’ll look for you. , Your feedback to me is good, I will continue to look for you; I look for you, you make me hot face and cold butt, sorry, I will not wait, let you hungry and lick the dog for you to go, but in fact, we also have to learn from others With the good attitude of girls, why can people like someone psychologically, but they can’t take the initiative at all in their actions? In fact, most girls think like this: I like you, but you don’t like me, then my love will not get feedback. What is the meaning of love without feedback and man: I like this Sister, I’ll go all the way to the dark! No matter what face the other person gives me, I must achieve a goal. This is actually a male thinking, which is very useful in work and study. But if you think like this in your relationship, then you will lose more than a crushing defeat. I am a love coach. , If you have any other emotional questions, you can also ask me to answer my other high praises. 1. How do boys start to tease girls without embarrassment? 2. What kind of girls look like scumbags? 3. Why do girls never take the initiative to chat with boys? 4. Now chasing a girl, what should I talk to her every day? 5. What are the precautions for boys on their first date?

6 months ago

It really depends on the girl herself. For example, some male friends who I like more come to me to chat, and I usually return. But I rarely take the initiative to find them, mainly because I am really busy. This busyness includes my busyness in studying and work, as well as being busy in wanting to play on my mobile phone. There is a very interesting boy who often chats with me some time ago. He speaks more humorously, that kind of cold humor, not deliberately. I prefer to chat with him, but I really rarely talk to him, and it is not because What is shyness or something, mainly because I don’t have much time for entertainment, and I don’t want to spend time chatting with others. Every time he finds me, if I am really busy, I usually tell the truth directly. There is also a senior. He finds me. I will reply in seconds when he is online. If I am offline, I will reply when I see information. However, I don’t take the initiative to chat with him. The senior is also a very interesting person, mainly because of everyone. It’s all very busy. When I’m not busy, I usually like to watch videos. If you talk to me, or if you have something to do, you usually come back as soon as possible. For the time being, I haven’t found any interested boys who let me take the initiative to contact. If I can take the initiative to contact, I can always ask for help. Regarding your question, my answer is that if a girl is just as interested in you as a normal friend, you can talk to her, but she has not yet reached the level of actively thinking of you and actively contacting you.

6 months ago

If you ask her, she is willing to talk to you, indicating that at least she does not reject you; at the beginning, it is recommended that boys be more active. Some girls are naturally introverted and have little love experience, so passivity is normal. She may not be sure of your thoughts for the time being, so if you talk to her, she will talk to you. If you don’t look for her, she won’t look for you. After you get along for a while, you will naturally interact with each other and share your daily routines with each other. If it’s been a long time, then talk about this topic frankly. You can ask in a joke way, why don’t you find me? If she still does this afterwards, she can give up slowly, indicating that she is not interested in you much.

6 months ago

I can only answer this with my own feelings. Recently, I also have a boy whom I like very much. We have known each other since July last year, and we have been chatting with WeChat until now. We have been in a different place, we have known each other for 8 months, and we have seen 5 times in total. He was also very active at the beginning to chat with me. I take the initiative to find me every day, and every time he finds me, I also respond to him positively. But I know he doesn’t like me. Later, I went to that city many times, and after about two or three months, he felt that I liked him. But he didn’t escape, he still kept chatting with me. Sometimes when I look for him, he will respond, but the response is more perfunctory or it takes a long time before responding, or even not responding. If this happens for several days, I will feel uneasy. I wonder if I’m bothering him. Was his response just out of courtesy? Then I will begin to restrain myself. Try not to message him. But generally persisting for 2 days can’t help but look for him again. Or he will take the initiative to find me if he insists on it for 2 days. So if girls like you. Should still take the initiative to find you. At least it won’t be too long without looking. But you should try to make her feel that you want to keep in touch with her. If you like her, you can also take the initiative to find her every day, as long as she has maintained a positive attitude towards you. That means there is still hope. I once tried to get into the repeated stage of whether I should find him or not for a while, and couldn’t help but send messages and start to regret it again. Fortunately, we occasionally make phone calls and videos. Phone calls and videos can warm up your feelings. During the phone call, I would directly ask him many questions that puzzled him. For example, will I disturb him if I send messages frequently like this? Although I know that the other person will generally say no out of politeness. But he told me in a very affirmative tone that of course he would not bother me. Frequent chatting will make girls fall in love, I don’t know if boys will. If you like her, you can send messages to her frequently. As long as a girl likes you, even if I receive your message every day. It won’t be annoying. Hmm… I don’t know if other girls are like this, at least I am. And even if I am busy, there is no way to reply immediately. But when I am free, I will reply to him.

6 months ago

I am a female, but also this type of girl. First of all, I don’t like online chat. Typing on my mobile phone all day is tired and eye-wrenching. The efficiency of communication is low, so I rarely take the initiative to find someone to chat. Secondly, if someone comes to chat with me, it’s out of basic courtesy. I will reply. If someone who is interested and feels able to come to me to chat, I will not refuse and will reply in time. However, for the guys who come to me to chat, if I am not interested in what they are talking about or have a dislike for the guys, I basically have a rather cold attitude and do not answer the topic or reply two days after the next day or even not reply directly; if it is a guy who has a good feeling Chat with me, and also see how you chat. I have encountered someone who is very active in chatting with me but only likes to talk about his own affairs. Start to talk awkwardly, and start chatting with myself within five sentences. If I pick him up, he I can talk about it. I insert and talk about myself by the way. He simply responds a few words and then continues to talk about himself and even ignores my expression and continues to talk about himself. I also feel very indifferent to this, although I am reluctant to talk. Speaking less but I really don’t have any leisure interest and don’t want to be the tree hole that silently listens to other people’s troubles. Although I know a little to enlighten others, I have no interest in being a considerate and intimate elder sister. For this kind of boy, it’s okay to talk, but not. Will talk for a long time. Everything is mutual. You are happy when you talk about it, but we are actually not very familiar but it made me waste a lot of time listening to so many trivial things about you, how can I be happy! I am not idle all day waiting for you to come and chat with me, and in what capacity do I have any obligation to listen to your troubles in life and work? I asked the boy friend directly about this, and he said, this is just because he treats me as a friend, so he spit out his troubles with me. I think it’s funny, treat me as a friend? That’s why you always come to me and talk about yourself? Treat me as a friend? But I just want to talk about how I don’t care about my feelings at all, so should I still be grateful to you for treating me as a friend? Personally, I feel that this kind of person is not interested in you or wanting to tease you. He just lacks a person who listens to him and wants someone to pay attention to him. Regarding this, no matter how interested he was at the beginning, it ended up indifferently, and he would not take the initiative to chat with him. In summary, some girls do not refuse when you look for her. If you do not look for her, she does not take the initiative. It is estimated that there are the following reasons: 1. Girls themselves do not like or are not good at chatting 2. You or the topic you are talking about, girls Not interested 3. The way you talk is wrong, you find someone to chat, but you only talk about what you want to chat, and you don’t care if what you want to talk to is what they want to hear or are interested in. You only care whether you are having a good conversation with you, but you don’t care whether someone is having a good conversation with you. In our daily work and life, there are always many, many troubles and difficulties. We all hope that someone will listen and care about us. However, everyone wants to talk, and those who can listen well are invaluable.

6 months ago

As an old emotional driver, answer: Analyze girls: This kind of girls often have a lot of spare tires, or that there are many men pursuing her at the same time, so her current state is that she is not taking the initiative, not rejecting, and not being responsible. Analyze you again: Your comprehensive personal strength has not yet reached the threshold to make this girl’s heart touch. This comprehensive strength includes your appearance, figure, family background, education, school, academic record, work unit, talents, personality, temperament, etc. In other words, in the eyes of the girl, you are like a tasteless existence, tasteless to eat, but a pity to discard it. Therefore, my personal suggestion is to improve one’s own level, and the other is to give up and change goals. Or, choose to be a scumbag. Chat with 10 girls at the same time and go on a blind date. This girl loves to chat or not, even without her, you still have nine other chats, so as to ensure that you are in an advantageous position.

6 months ago

People are different. If you take the initiative to talk to her, if you are of the opposite sex, you may have a good impression of her, but if she doesn’t take the initiative to find you, it may be that she is not interested in you and doesn’t want to chat with you, or he just doesn’t want to chat. She wants to be quiet. I don’t want to talk. Maybe she’s embarrassed. She’s afraid of disturbing you. Or she doesn’t think she knows you so well. She doesn’t need to be so familiar. But if you talk to her, she’s embarrassed and you can only reply to your message.

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