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Coordinates Imperial Capital, non-CBD, the main activity area is west of Xidan, south of Zhongguancun, and north of Chang’an Street. Generally speaking, the degree of fashion openness lags behind the east.
I am in good condition. I am tall enough and light enough to look at my face. The dressing taste has been influenced by magazines for many years. It’s okay, casual, retro, Japanese and Korean, but I’m less courageous. I don’t dare to buy a lot of beautiful clothes. wear. Normal colleges, the school spirit is conservative, and the girls in the same class are not keen on dressing up. After a long time, I don’t want to stand out from the crowd. Moreover, people have different fashion tastes. Many styles can’t be accepted. They will say that I wear weird clothes. I don’t even listen to them. I am happy, but we have a good relationship, and maybe we will dress in a conservative range next time.
I also go out everyday. Because I need to take the subway and bus, I wear clothes more conservatively. I don’t like other people’s scrutiny or wretched eyes. If I need to dress beautifully because of the occasion, I will choose to take a taxi.
When I was studying abroad before, I felt that the atmosphere was very open, and no one would look down on you when wearing weird clothes. People who wore beautiful clothes would only look at you at best. During that time, I enjoyed the fun of dressing casually, and after returning, I quietly put away some clothes.
I feel that Beijing’s fashion level is not enough. People on the street wear casual clothes and have no taste. As for myself, I think it’s because of the environment that I dare not wear beautiful clothes, but I vaguely feel that it has something to do with my psychology. I want to ask if there are any similar feelings to me?

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
8 months ago

“I want to wear how I want to wear when I am abroad, and enjoy the fun of dressing. The fashion tastes of people around me in Beijing are very earthy, so I dare not wear too beautiful.” I specifically asked my Beijing native boyfriend who studied in the United States for eight years , Do you agree with what you said. He was very rigorous and didn’t have a brain to refute. He just said, “The country this person is going to must not be the United States.” Americans wear almost the same style: how comfortable they are and how they want to wear. Speaking of it, the biggest worry may be the same as the subject, not very beautiful. But the point is that people don’t care. The freedom of dressing, you can wear whatever you want, which should be the envy and miss of the subject. Free spirit, with all due respect, I haven’t learned the subject at all. Not only did they fail to learn the true spirit of freedom of foreigners, and they could not do what they wanted to wear. Instead, they returned to China and demanded this spirit from others. It was not directly pointed out in person, but it was the distress behind myself. Is this a bit of a guilt? This kind of free spirit teaches you, who once blended into them, to live casually, control everything about yourself, and even rely on your own changes to influence people around you, rather than expecting people around you to change first and create an environment you like. Being beaten passively is not only one’s own failure, but also a harshness to those around him. Moreover, the people in Beijing, especially those near Xidan, are there. . Casually shopping, there are groups of fashionable young ladies, and fashionable young brothers hold hands and hug their waists. After I was 25 years old, I slowly stopped wearing beautiful clothes. I don’t know if the subject of the title refers to the beauty of eye-catching or cumbersome tricks. I have all kinds of beautiful clothes, such as Hanfu, JK, LO skirt, sweet and spicy, cheongsam, OL, soft girl, and the two wardrobes at home can’t fit. After a few years of wearing it with high excitement, I slowly became tired. Wearing beautiful clothes is very tiring to go out. You have to care about the safety of your clothes, whether there are folds, whether they are soiled, and the eyes of people around you. Even if you try to ignore the gaze of passers-by, when many people notice you, you still have to unconsciously realize “I Is getting attention” this matter. It’s very tiring. But wearing Uniqlo can reduce the sense of presence in the crowd as much as possible, and can leave the spirit to be truly comfortable. So don’t be frustrated about not wearing beautifully. When you stop looking for beauty and excellence, you will find a new world.

heloword
8 months ago

1. Why can’t I wear the clothes I like? I wonder if you have watched the recent talk show conference? Yang Li’s complaint about her dressing almost made me laugh. She first complained about her being unfashionable, and then reluctantly said the reason: “When it comes to fashion being unfashionable, you can’t blame me, because I didn’t have the right to choose clothes since I was young!” The clothes I like and the clothes I bought are the ones that my mother thinks are good in fabrics (in fact, the ones that are cheaper).” At this time, there was a dense resonance on the barrage, and they all expressed that they had similar experiences. It’s the same mom in the same world. As a female counselor, I fully understand the feeling that Yang Li complained about, and I also found that this topic is very common in the counseling room. Many female visitors will mention this topic inadvertently, and there is often an important psychological phenomenon behind it. It can even be said that clothes are an important carrier of many people’s self, implying everyone’s choices, emotions, identity, self-identity, and love and hatred. Let’s talk about my two recent visitors first. Female visitor a is very entangled every time she buys clothes. On the one hand, because it costs money to buy clothes, she feels guilty every time and feels like she’s wasting money; on the other hand, she likes good-looking clothes very much and feels that she should buy more clothes to reward herself, after all. I work very hard every day, and dressing myself up is also a comfort. When it comes to buying clothes, the visitor is very tired every time and cannot make up his mind for a long time. Another female visitor b has a headache in the choice of clothes. She either likes the punk style that is more rebellious, or she likes the feminine and feminine style of lace. But every time she bought these types of clothes, she felt that she couldn’t control it, couldn’t wear it, and was very adventurous. In her daily life, she can only wear clothes that are more ladylike and more regular, but she does not approve of these clothes from the bottom of her heart. She feels that they are boring, lifeless, and not in line with her inner feelings. This created a split. Those clothes she likes are also secretly tried at home by herself. There are too many moments like this, and she is also very depressed. Why can’t I buy the clothes I like? Why can’t I wear the clothes I like? Both of these visitors may have asked themselves such questions. At this time, is a piece of clothing just a piece of clothing? 2. Is a piece of clothing just a piece of clothing? Not at all! Constantly entangled in clothes may mean that this person’s ego is in a period of turbulence and confusion, and is not very stable. They are entangled because their purpose of dressing is not simple. Take care of others, take care of yourself, and take care of the occasion. But taking care of it, the outside world and the self’s wishes are fighting each other on the body, it is impossible to be comprehensive, and it involves decisions and entanglements in all aspects of life, so come for consultation. At this time, the problem of clothes reflects whether a person’s personality is well integrated, and how well integrated. I want to talk about the personality conflict hidden in the dressing of these two visitors. Visitor a has a diligent and thrifty mother. My mother seldom buys clothes throughout the year and always wears all kinds of old clothes. She often says “three years in the new, three years in the old, and three years in sewing and mending”. It is said that this is still an ancestral instruction from grandma. The visitor a grew up in such a family and was fascinated by his eyes and ears. She has never bought a few clothes since she was a child, and she has always dressed modestly, low-key, and not dazzling. But after all, it is also natural to love beauty, and she also admires those beautifully dressed, bright and moving girls. In particular, she is also good-looking, and she often hears from others that if she dresses up, she is no worse than those people. So a is more tempted and starts to secretly buy new clothes. But whenever she went home and faced her parents, she would hide her new clothes and put on her old clothes like a thief and sneaky. After growing up, it stands to reason that with her own money, a can boldly control her own money and buy the clothes she likes, but it is very difficult for her. Her personality fights with each other between “hardworking and thrifty housekeeping” and “dressing well”. Visitor b grew up in a very strict family. From small to large, everything about her must meet the requirements of her parents, including what clothes to wear. What my mother often said is that girls should be generous and decent at home, and don’t wear heavy makeup or look like a “good woman”. Therefore, every time she looks at clothes, she will unconsciously divide the clothes into “good women” and “bad women”. Clothes. On the surface, she is very obedient, following her mother’s teachings, wearing “good women” clothes, but in her heart she particularly likes the clothes worn by “bad women”. She bought a lot of charming or punk clothes and put them in the closet. So she is very contradictory. This cabinet she likes but can’t wear clothes that she can’t go out. This seems to represent her repressed self. At this time, is a piece of clothing just a piece of clothing? Not at all. It is like a psychological war. Is it a battle of “being who you like” or “being who you are in the eyes of others”. If one is not prepared, one really cannot dress according to one’s wishes. At this time, she was wearing grievances and awkwardness, wearing numb and hollow, wearing involuntary! 3. Why is it so difficult to dress according to your liking? The psychology behind “wearing clothes” can be seen from the above. Being able to freely decide how to wear clothes is a milestone for almost everyone’s psychological growth. For those who have been encouraged to be themselves since childhood and can live according to their own feelings, this is certainly not a problem. And those who have not been allowed to be themselves since childhood, and want to not be entangled in dressing, and be refreshed in life, at least have to break through a few challenges: 1) Trust in their own feelings and judgments Children who have been strictly disciplined and controlled by their parents since childhood , Parents do not trust and deny their feelings. This makes it difficult for them to trust their own feelings and judgments, and they are always habitually suspicious, so that the effect is greatly reduced. For example, b doesn’t dare to wear the clothes she likes because she doesn’t believe that she can wear the punk and feminine clothes she likes. She couldn’t believe that she had a matching side in her heart, so she was not psychologically fully prepared, so that when she went out to face the world in these clothes, her expression and posture looked really “awkward”. Sometimes the effect of the clothes can only come out if the heart really strengthens one’s feelings, because the body and mind are united, not contradictory, not divided, and the same in God’s form. The same is true for other things. Only when you are confident can the overall effect be truly presented. 2) It is good to have anticipation of the result and be self-responsible not to be yourself. Once the result is bad or you make a mistake, you can rightly separate yourself: “It’s all because of you, so what happens!” And self The person in charge is different. Although comfortable, no one can resent when something goes wrong. Self-responsibility means taking responsibility and risk, and facing the rumors of everyone. Just like the above a. If she wants to buy clothes according to her own feelings, it means that she has to bear the consequences of spending money and face the pressure of her family to say “you are not frugal”. And only if we have expectations of the results and are willing to bear it, can we truly have the final say on our own. 3) Betrayal to parents Yang Li said when ridiculing fashion: Those who are very fashionable are very enviable. Don’t they have parents? Because they are so chic, so free, everything, from head to toe, is sending you a message: No one can control me in this life! What I’m talking about here is that it is inevitable to betray your parents if you want to live your life. But it is not easy. Betraying one’s parents, on the one hand, means conflict and may hurt the parents, which may bring strong guilt; on the other hand, it also means psychological distance between oneself and their parents, and also means loneliness and loneliness. Many people can’t break through this barrier emotionally. Guilt and loneliness are terrible emotions, so they would rather curl up with themselves, or be sneaky, and maintain loyalty to their parents, so that they at least themselves You are not alone, and more importantly, you don’t have to think that you are a “bad guy”, a “bad guy” who hurt your parents. Many people cannot afford to bear the “bad guy” part of themselves that will hurt others. So they will retract again, huddled under a safe appearance, and let the true self depress, occasionally secretly let them out to admire, but only secretly, just like b and her cabinet Your favorite clothes. If you don’t realize these two points, many people will not be able to break through this barrier emotionally, because loneliness and guilt are terrible emotions. And only by realizing that we have the opportunity to brew some strength and determination, starting from small things, and slowly trying to “betray.” Until the birth of an “self”-it is full of responsibility, can not satisfy everyone, but also fully free. Written at the end Of course, the relationship between dressing and personality is not just the one mentioned above. Being able to bravely wear the clothes you like is actually just one of the breakthroughs in personal spiritual growth. Just like doing things for others, dare to say what you think and express your feelings is just the first step, but it’s not enough. Despite getting rid of the shackles of others, you still have to face a lot of exploration. Fortunately, the following explorations may be much easier. Take clothes as an example. After many people wear their favorite clothes, they may find that their favorite style does not naturally match their body shape. For example, a person has the heart of a little woman, but she is very burly. At this time, it is very difficult to blend into the style of a little woman at once. It requires a long-term communication between her heart and her figure until she finds a balance point that just fits her. This balance point can highlight her heart, express herself, and fit her figure. This is actually a process of getting to know yourself deeply, understanding your own body characteristics, and understanding your own spiritual characteristics, and we must integrate them together. This is the process of personality cultivation. In addition, since clothes are expressions, you will care about your feedback from others. Just like I write articles, although I will write articles based on my own temperament, I also need to consider the reader’s reading ability and reading style. , And the ability to read. If no one reads an article after writing, it is estimated that there is no motivation to write an article. In the same way, dressing only for yourself may be a temporary good thing for people who are depressed and have lost the right to choose, but after a long time, you will pay attention to this problem again: I wear clothes for the better Let others understand me, understand me, and express my attitudes and preferences. Otherwise, there will be no motivation to wear clothes. Therefore, at this time, you will try to observe the preferences of others, the preferences of the group, the expectations of others, the expectations of the group, and the expectations of the occasion, the situation, and so on. You have to find a balance between the expectations of others and your own preferences. You see, in the final analysis, wearing clothes is a psychological exploration. However, these running-in is not necessarily necessary for you. You are free at this time. You can choose to take care of others and occasions, or you can choose to do your own way, depending on your mood. As long as you can take the corresponding responsibilities, you can have a free life.

helpyme
8 months ago

The subject does not like other people’s evaluation and diss your clothes, but you are evaluating and diss other people’s clothes. When I was studying abroad before, I felt that the atmosphere was very open, and no one would look down on you when wearing weird clothes. People who wore beautiful clothes would only look at you at best. I feel that Beijing’s fashion level is not enough. People on the street wear casual clothes and have no taste. Because I pursue fashion, I feel that people who do not pursue fashion have no taste. This behavior is very annoying. People save others by oneself. Because you are always pointing to other people’s clothes, you will feel that others are pointing to your clothes. Fashion has never been a necessity, it is more of a business mantra of making money, a pioneer of consumerism. Fashion may not even be beautiful.

sina156
8 months ago

People who can easily bear the gaze of many strangers are very powerful. A beautiful girl, she looks very beautiful, dressed tastefully, and has a high rate of turning her head back. But how many people can feel proud and not embarrassed about the review of many strangers? If you go out for a stroll, you may have to take a breath when you get home, thinking, “I’m so tired, let’s change clothes next time you go out.” The education we have received since childhood means a bit of shame education, and the result is that we will feel inexplicably ashamed and care about many indifferent things. We don’t pay attention to being sharp, we pay attention to calm and introverted, we don’t pay attention to individuality, we pay attention to decent, many times, our inner conflict is the conflict between personality and educational philosophy, this conflict is difficult to overcome.

yahoo898
8 months ago

Exactly the same as me~ The conclusion that I have drawn by dissecting myself is: I dare not be different from others. There is probably a little inferiority complex in it. There are actually many reasons for not daring to wear it. 1. I feel that the clothes are too good for me to look good. Feel it, I don’t look in proportion to what I wear. But what is it actually? Perhaps what is really afraid of is the evaluation of other people. It’s like one day when I’m in a bad state and feel that I’m particularly ugly, and I don’t even want to leave the door. But I don’t think I dare to come out. Because I am afraid of other people’s evaluation (at least for me) 2. I hate other people’s eyes. I hate wearing tight clothes because of the look in the eyes of some men and some women. I am more sensitive. When others look at me, I will think a lot… For example, I wear a very outstanding dress and walk to the bus station leisurely, and people waiting for the bus always like to stretch their heads and look at the bus. The direction to come. Maybe it happened to see me, and then many people looked at me together (of course some people were really watching the car). It’s just that from my perspective, I feel that many people are looking at me, so my face blushes. After being red, I’m afraid of being narcissistic, and I’m very nervous…I’m in a vicious circle. The conclusion is probably that I take myself too seriously. But wearing good-looking clothes will indeed be seen more often. 3. Trying a completely different combination will doubt whether it is really good-looking (normal)? Do others think you are tacky? I am actually quite worried that others will think that I am wearing cheesy…Anyway, for me. The ultimate reason is their lack of self-confidence and lack of courage. Don’t you feel unconfident that you can’t hold the clothes? However, many things can be said in the opposite direction. On the other hand, it means having self-knowledge, and it is not suitable for holding. This is also completely correct. But one’s unconfidence can be seen in many places. The distance between escape and the truth is also very subtle. The lack of courage is also quite obvious. To put it bluntly, I care about the eyes of others. The subtext of caring about your gaze is caring about what others think of yourself. Don’t dare to be different from others, just want to hide in the public. Only when others have done it, I dare to do it is also an expression of pursuing self-security. It takes courage to be the first person. I remembered what Lu Xun said about “the first person to eat crabs”. How can mavericks be so simple? But this life is his own. Do not hinder others, how happy you are, how do you live. I excerpted a sentence from Zhihu that I saw directly hitting my heart. One of the signs of a person’s maturity is to understand that 99% of the things that happen to oneself every day are meaningless to others (I don’t know who came from it. Oral, I don’t know if this counts as “publishing without my consent”?) When a person is lying in bed waiting for death, other people’s thoughts are no longer so important. What you really care about is your own heart. (I don’t know where I saw this sentence. I remember it was the last article on WeChat that summarized the last regrets in the life of the dying person)

leexin
8 months ago

I have always felt that being gregarious makes people mediocre. Because I’m afraid of being different, I don’t dare to dress too beautifully. Because I want to “look the same” as others, I suppress my true thoughts. There is a saying I saw a long time ago: The process of growing up is to gradually accept one’s mediocrity but to accept mediocrity , Or gradually become mediocre? There was a classmate in high school. Although he did not study well, he was full of self-confidence. The teacher said he was not good at all. He didn’t care at all. He especially liked painting. He always wanted to transfer to the art class but his family disagreed. Then he went alone. Trained in Hangzhou, graduated from high school, was admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts, and suddenly became a figure on the school’s honor list. The picture was still full of confidence. I was thinking: if he had succumbed at that time, if he was like everyone else, an ordinary reader book If you don’t stick to your own ideas, then he may become mediocre like most of us. Just like this question, because we are afraid of being maverick and rejecting beauty. What have we lost, but what have we gained? It’s no big deal to dress differently. If others don’t understand fashion, it doesn’t mean that you have to obey the eyes of others. Don’t be changed by others! Don’t be defeated by life!

greatword
8 months ago

I also don’t like to wear clothes that are too beautiful/outstanding. Let me talk about myself first. I am 175 tall. This height is quite conspicuous in many places. Even if I dress in a simple manner, people still look at me. I myself am not very inferior. I belong to a rare group of “fascinated self-confidence”. I also have online aesthetics. I bought clothes by myself since I was a child and I studied art. This should not be considered blind and self-confidence. But even so, I don’t like being too provocative in daily life. After all, they are ordinary people. To be seen by strangers is to admire, and to see more is to be offended; it is not always necessary to dress up, although dressing is to please yourself, but it is undeniable that it is comfortable and comfortable to wear mentally and physically. It feels much better than being beautifully dressed but restrained. In the end, the culture is like this… Our country is not a country with a well-developed fashion and cultural industry. It hasn’t been a few years since we had eaten a full meal. Needless to say, 60.70 is not to be mentioned, and many 80.90 concepts are not very particular about dressing. Except for those big cities, many urban areas have a strong atmosphere of life. There are many restaurants and roadside stalls on the roadside, and most of the entertainment venues are developed with “eating” as the core. In these places, everyone dresses so casually…so that the glamorous and beautiful style of your painting is so embarrassing, it makes people even more courageous to dress up.

loveyou
8 months ago

No matter how beautiful it is, it’s useless. Once you wear work clothes, you can tell how beautiful it is? And because of professional relations, wearing too beautifully will always give people a sense of unreliability? Is it too beautiful to make some people jealous? What to do if you dress too beautifully to attract the eyes of the opposite sex and you are too busy to come? And I think that a person is beautiful or not beautiful, it has nothing to do with the beautiful dress. The long one is beautiful and the long one is not beautiful, but the beautiful dress gives people a strange feeling. People have different aesthetics, and their understanding of beauty is also different, so it is not important to dress beautifully or not.

strongman
8 months ago

Because in [you]’s evaluation system, the opinions of others are more weighted. The reasons why I dare not often come from: 1. Will others think that I am not worthy of wearing? 2. Will others think that I am superficial and charming 3. Will others think that I am sending a signal to men, rest assured, yes A group of people are born to be willing to discuss. If you don’t focus on food and clothing, you will also focus on looks, perhaps for business. If you take these indicators into consideration very seriously, you will find that many things are “dare”. Dare to laugh with men, dare not get tattoos, dare not study seriously, dare not follow the crowd. But these compromises cannot be exchanged for eternal peace, and people talk about a vicious circle that cannot be escaped, but sooner or later. My waist and hips are obvious, and I still wear a hip skirt every day. When I go to the cafeteria to eat, my colleagues’ weird eyes are not constricted, but it does not cause me any trouble. After all, I would not put them in my eyes…

stockin
8 months ago

The junior high school saw a coat in the mall. Mid-length, doll collar, pink satin, lace hem, and lamb hair detachable liner. It is the dream dress of a 12-year-old girl. Wearing it I am the most beautiful Disney princess at large on the street. When I was young, I was thin, tall, and very white. When I posted my photo on the Hall of Fame, my little sister told me that many people on the Hall of Fame praised me for being beautiful. So I can support this dress. But I just crossed it once. I am a day student and go home for dinner at noon. Because my mother had something to do, she was delayed in sending me to school in the afternoon. Normally, we have a lunch break at 1-2 noon. After the lunch break, we wake up fifteen minutes, write lessons for fifteen minutes, and start class at 2:30. I put on that coat and opened the door and shouted “report” around 2:40. I will always remember that day when our math teacher was giving a lecture. He saw me opening the door and looked at me up and down many times. The classroom was quiet for a few seconds, and there were noisy whispers again. Our math teacher looked at me with disdain, then turned his face to the classmates, and said: No wonder I’m late and look beautiful in the mirror in new clothes? See how much you can score in the next monthly exam. In fact, my junior high school grades have never fallen below the top ten. I was really fidgeting that afternoon. I have been sitting in my seat without drinking water or going to the toilet. I hung my head during get out of class and lay on the table after class. As soon as I heard someone whispering, I felt like I was discussing. Can’t help but wonder what other people think of me. After returning home, he took off his clothes and threw them in the laundry basket. My mother asked me: Why do I wash my coat in one day? I vaguely said it was dirty. Later I received it in the closet and never wore it again. When I was in college, my cousin came to my house and suddenly cooled down without clothes. My mother turned over this coat and put it on for her. The cousin likes it very much and she just walked away. I couldn’t tell what I was feeling, it seemed relieved, and it seemed that I was missing a piece. When I came home during the Chinese New Year, I asked her: Did you wear that coat to school? She said to go. I asked again: Did your teacher and classmates say nothing? She said: Say it. My teacher praised me for being very cute, and my classmates also liked it. I said it was your old clothes, they said it was an antique! Can’t say what mood. At that time, the eyes were sore, and I wanted to laugh. In fact, it doesn’t matter if I think about it now. The teacher’s words may not be malicious, and my classmates may not discuss my new clothes. But the 12-year-old I can’t figure it out clearly. So I work now, and I rarely wear outstanding clothes. Some nice and fashionable clothes, or clothes with brighter colors, I wait for my colleagues to wear similar ones in twos and threes before I wear them to work. Even if I bought it early.

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