I talked with my partner. I have been together for two years, and I feel that it’s time to talk about marriage. When the parents met for the first time, they had a meal in the restaurant. The husband didn’t make any appointments. When I took my boyfriend and mother-in-law to play in the afternoon, the mother-in-law gave me a red envelope of 11,000, so it was agreed. I haven’t experienced it and don’t understand it. When I went home to tell my parents about it at night, my parents were very angry. It wasn’t because of the lack of money, but that this was a major event. Shouldn’t my mother-in-law say it at the dinner table? Later I thought that as long as I had a good relationship with me, it would be fine.

Later, my mother-in-law came to discuss the marriage with my parents. Considering that his family had a down payment for a second-hand house last year, the bride price was our minimum standard of 66,000. The mother-in-law said that she would buy 33,000 gold jewelry, which was set on October 1st. Get married and come to applaud the dowry on September 1st.

At the end of July, my partner told me that my mother-in-law asked to get the certificate first. I said that I would get the certificate on September 9th, 9 for a long time, and get married on October 1st. I would not delay anything. My target said he felt so. Later, I told me that I should get the certificate first, and I became a little angry. It won’t be delayed to get the certificate after the marriage. We quarreled because of this. He spoke very directly and hard to hear. Later, he said that getting married is so many things. We didn’t care about anyone during the three days of the Cold War, and we are still in the Cold War.

Then my mother-in-law contacted me and explained that his son was busy, yes, busy chasing drama, busy playing vibrato, busy playing games, just didn’t have time to talk to me, in fact, it was a question of attitude.

I calm down and think about it now. I am getting less and less daring to get married. I carefully read our chat records, the WeChat messages sent to me by my mother-in-law, and the chat content between my mother-in-law and my mother. I dare not marry. , I put the chat history into the code, is there anyone who has a good emotional view to help me analyze it

To explain, although my partner bought a house, I did not intend to add my name to my marriage. If we are half an hour away from each other, I basically live at my mother’s house. I may go back to him four or five times a month. I live at home, it’s convenient to drive anyway

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
8 months ago

Girl, a normal family talks about marriage and marriage. There is no elder in the other’s family. The old saying that everything is directed at your junior is good. If something goes wrong, there must be a demon. You may not have time to think about it now, but put it to the face. All the signs on the above show that while the other party wants to pinch you step by step, it is not only about getting the certificate, but for the engagement, this old lady is holding back. Do not mention it in front of your parents, because when it comes to getting engaged, you have to talk about the general etiquette and customs of marriage. Talking to your parents, she is also worried that she will not be able to get anything cheap. After the meal was over, I secretly gave it to you. First, I was caught off guard and couldn’t think about it. After all, you are still a girl who hasn’t been involved in the world. Even if you instinctively knew that it was wrong or not to push you back, she could still move out of the elders’ minds to entrap you; Second, it forces you to follow their rhythm from the beginning, so that you will be able to set rules step by step. Third, if you are a girl, you can’t talk to them about marriage at that time. In the future, when you have already “taken” their engagement money, it is naturally shorter. As for how to break when encountering such insidious routines, I personally deal with it as pretending to be stupid. If you say it is the engagement money, I will kill it as a meeting ceremony. If the old lady still wants you to submit to her life and death, you might as well just point it out: If the aunt is engaged, why didn’t you mention that my parents were there just now? why? You didn’t mention that now my parents are not here, how can I take it by myself? We all talk about marriage clearly and clearly. I’m afraid of my parents’ sadness if this is not clear, or what do you have? Hardship? When it comes to obtaining the certificate, the old lady is equally unkind. Moreover, your husband stood with you from the beginning to the back and turned to his mother. It is very likely that the real reason behind it is beneficial to him. This point is no longer a Ma Baonan, which means that he is not an upright person. As for the response, you can pretend to be stupid and then click on it, and the old lady doesn’t have to accept the trick if you find you. This is not married yet, you can’t tell me, if you have any ideas, talk to my parents about the nine-year compulsory education and teach us how to pass it. Look at the essence of the phenomenon. So many abnormal phenomena tell you that this family is unreliable, but don’t fall in love with your brain. After all, many tears shed after marriage are the water in your mind before marriage.

heloword
8 months ago

The friend named Archimedes above has a good analysis. Let me add from another point of view. Why do you have a disagreement? It’s not you communicating with your fiance, but you communicating with her mother, or even her communicating with your mother? Let’s change the scene. After you two got married, they discussed about having a baby for a year, but he decided to have a baby right after he returned home. If you disagree, he will have a cold war with you. A few days later, your mother-in-law will start to send you WeChat to persuade you. Now if you want a child, you still send WeChat to your mother, how bad it is. In the matter of marriage, what kind of mother-in-law is very important, but more importantly, the attitude of the husband.

helpyme
8 months ago

The subject will continue to get married…
Below this question is all persuasion, the subject is still saying that she hasn’t contacted her partner for four days… If you want me to hurry up and go back to the subject, you can just say what the partner means, don’t you want to get married? It’s not overwhelming! Making trouble, making trouble, throwing him on his head and running away! What are you waiting for!

sina156
8 months ago

Normally speaking, when the woman is the strongest before marriage, she will slowly go downhill after marriage. At this time you can’t hold your boyfriend, or if you two don’t have the same mind, you will never have a chance again in the future. No one can bear it for a lifetime. Now your boyfriend doesn’t have one mind with you. You can actually consider whatever the fuck. Although all kinds of double standards are overbearing, they don’t always have to deal with her. , So there is actually a way. The trouble is that your boyfriend is indeed a mommy, a shopkeeper, and it seems that you are determined to persuade you, so I won’t say it. Basically all the answers to the master mean this. I’ll say if you still want to get married. , You must rely on getting the certificate. Liwei tells their family that this matter is unreasonable, that is, I don’t want to get the certificate. If you scream, you will get the certificate on September 9th one year later. No matter what year Lao Tzu is in, anyway, the date will be September 9th. I will post one year later. Is Lao Tzu wanting to marry you? You are begging Lao Tzu to marry! Regardless of your fucking legal and illegal, there is a way to sue the police, just let the police take care of them Unexpected misconceptions. If you are suspicious of life, you have to give them an impression. You have to listen to Lao Tzu at home, not because Lao Tzu is reasonable, but because Lao Tzu is the biggest. Whatever Lao Tzu says, it’s not easy for anyone to speak. , You can’t change the situation of being bullied, you may have to fight with them for a long time after marriage, or fight alone, because your boyfriend will probably not stand by you, but there is a good thing about amabo. The reason why he is amabo is that If you do not have your own ideas, whoever listens strongly, if you win the fight with your mother-in-law, he will switch to your subordinates. But this way, you are also wounded and you have a reputation as a villain. It depends on whether you think it is worth it.

yahoo898
8 months ago

Gong to gong, drum to drum, love two people, get married in two families, talk about marriage, talk about marriage, talk between two people of equal family status. Inexplicably turning the meeting gift into engagement money is an abacus, with the intention of kidnapping you morally. If something goes wrong, there must be a demon. Talk to the parents about marriage and talk with the parents, and communicate with you as a young couple. Suddenly leapfrogging is only at you, there is definitely a problem. With such a strong desire to control and your boyfriend’s performance, there is a high probability that this is a filial and filial mother, such a man is not suitable for marriage, has no responsibility, is mentally immature, is physically a man, and is psychologically better than a mother. baby. And when you have a conflict, your boyfriend will run away and let his mother deal with it. It is foreseeable that once you get married, you and his mother’s hand-to-hand combat will become the norm, and your boyfriend will definitely be sure that he will not be with you. His mother’s desire for control is so strong that how the young couple lives, gives birth, educates, and even breathes will be handled and controlled by his mother. You are too tender to fight against his mother. You have neither a strong temperament nor the possible support of your boyfriend. You will only be suppressed by the combination of their mother and son.

leexin
8 months ago

I have encountered a similar thing. When I was about 26 years old, I was a bit hated to marry at the time. At that time, I had a friend of the opposite sex who I knew from the community owners, but he was out of town at the time. I chatted a lot with me at that time, and then during the Chinese New Year he called me to eat at his house or something, meaning he wanted to formally confirm the relationship with me. During the Chinese New Year, I also met with both parents but did not clearly determine the relationship or make a marriage, but on the third day of the middle school, his mother told me that it was important to go to his uncle’s house for dinner on the fourth day. I clearly refused at that time. My aunt had her fourth birthday and she had no children. I spent it with her every year. I can’t go to the fourth grade. Besides, these horoscopes haven’t gotten a mention yet, does your uncle have a fart relationship with me? But my friend worked hard for a day to pass the microphone, and at night I was persuaded, even if he said no, he went to communicate with his mother. I didn’t expect that my mother and my wife would come to my house together on the morning of the fourth day of the lunar new year, so I must go. How important it is. My mother was angry at the time, but she didn’t make a statement, saying that you should go there, go to lunch, come back early, and go to accompany aunt at night. After I went home in the evening, my mother told me to blow and fall down. I went to his uncle’s house, which is an ordinary family gathering. Maybe his mother thinks it’s important, but what’s my shit? Then his uncle solemnly gave me a meeting gift, a box of chocolates! I helped his mother earn this time, and then all my benevolence and righteousness disappeared from his home. Recently, I have seen a lot of replies to this one, so let me change the matter of another ex-boyfriend, just a year before this one. It was also during the Spring Festival, every day he called me to go with my relatives, and every relative asked me to follow. I was stupid at that time. The three cousins ​​in his family, and the four of me, just made up the table. I went to a few card games during the Spring Festival, and I was all just a pastime. As a result, the story still came out. During the Spring Festival in those few days, my parents returned to my hometown because of something to do. I didn’t go. My mother let me live with my grandmother. My grandmother lived with my uncle. The family relationship is very good. And because of the Chinese New Year, my aunt also went to grandma’s house every day. One night, I might be a little late to play cards at my ex-boyfriend’s relatives’ house. At seven o’clock, my aunt called and asked me when I would be back. I said I knew it. Here to make a statement, I usually play at my own home, and it is normal to play until ninety o’clock in the evening, but my uncle and my aunt, one has no children, the other never brings children, what time should they treat to younger generations of my age There is no concept of going home, but simply thinking that during the Chinese New Year, it is dark and it is not appropriate not to go home. In addition, although I know that I am in someone else’s house, my parents should show concern. I can only say that there is nothing wrong with the starting point, but I may not be sure about it. That night at seven, eight, nine, and ten, I called me four calls. At ten o’clock, I had already gone home but my ex-boyfriend’s family. They were all in the car. They were sent to me first, and I answered their phone calls. At that time, I didn’t feel anything. After two days, my ex-boyfriend said solemnly that my family did not respect him and his whole family, and did not respect his relatives. They called me so many calls in one night, showing that they were disrespectful to his family. Trust, then broke up with me based on this reason. After my parents came back, they were shocked. Although they thought his house was weird, they were also shocked at what my uncle and aunt did. Then there is no more…

greatword
8 months ago

Stop the loss in time. This future mother-in-law is not easy to get along with. It is not positive to say that the engagement is such a big event. After the meal, I privately make other people’s daughters. Before I get married, our two families have eaten four meals before we can make a decision. Yes, during the period, my mother-in-law had a bad idea of ​​the wedding location. I said at the dinner table that I should not change the place. After a few days, someone from their house said that they still didn’t change the hotel for me, so I got engaged and got married. I took out all the money, and I called my husband and said that if you don’t change the place, don’t end it. At that time, our gift was more than 100,000 and 200,000 yuan. Our family knew that his condition was not good and only needed 66,000, and then my dad gave it too. My mother-in-law called to tell me how my classmates and neighbors were doing. The hotel you were looking for was not good. Finally, my husband and I went to see the hotel (because of our demolition, the large and affordable rooms were demolished and finally we settled in the hotel where we were engaged. My husband’s marriage), as long as my husband is engaged, the woman is very passive and will do it with her husband’s house. So my husband’s relatives are very shocked by my hand. There is also an uncle on the day before we get married. , My husband deliberately said when he played a video for me: You will be able to endure this day, and you won’t be able to get up after coming over. I pretended to be my husband’s cousin talking to me and I said: xx, why is your mouth so smelly, wait until I pass the door tomorrow, and you will die, and see if I can’t afford it. Then my husband’s cousin quickly said it wasn’t him, it was Uncle xx, and I just pretended to realize: Oh, uncle, I can’t speak at such an age, I thought it was xx who was ignorant and nonsense. Of course, my husband is backing up all of this. When I scolded their relatives, he said that I was good, because my husband could not understand some relatives. The subject of the subject is a bit too powerful.

loveyou
8 months ago

Divide it, it’s obviously a pit. From start to finish, the man’s mother jumps up and down. Shouldn’t this kind of thing be coordinated by the man? And this family is obviously a cunning person. During the window period from when the two children are determined to be together to when they actually enter the marriage hall, both parties must show 200% respect, caution and concessions between each other, especially parents. If the window period is unpleasant, I am not optimistic about this marriage. There is an unspoken rule for any variables in the window period: “You can’t change the variables easily, you have to change them, and the party who actively changes must show absolute sincerity.” “Change” content seems to be a trivial matter, but it is actually a struggle for the right to speak in marriage in the future. When I got married, the window period changed a “variable” and a hotel (a higher grade). My parents took the initiative to ask my father-in-law and my mother-in-law. The condition was that my family contracted all the expenses. My mother also added a sentence “If your parents-in-law pay attention to people, don’t be embarrassed, just keep this money for tuition for your grandchildren in the future.” After giving benefits to the respect and face, the father-in-law and mother-in-law instantly smiled and supported them with both hands. Does the father-in-law really feel sorry for this money? Certainly not, they just want to be “respected” during this pre-marital window. Does your mother-in-law understand this? Since you want to change the amount, show enough sincerity to give you or your family, for example, in the chat log: Girlfriend, two months in advance, let’s add a name to the house? Do you think it works? Or: Girlfriend, auntie will give you tens of thousands of private money? Or: Girlfriend, aunty order something for your house? Always remember: not only the window of marriage, but also getting along with others, let others change or do anything for you, please come out to match the price that can convince the other party, not “white prostitution”! Your face is big? Why make you “white whoring”? For those who don’t pay attention to it: “white whoring” is cool for a while, and always “white whoringing” is always cool. Once you let the man know that you are the character of “white whoring”, later Can eat you and your family to death.

strongman
8 months ago

I advise you not to get married. You, the prospective mother-in-law, do not know if you are holding back the certificate in advance, but the reason why I don’t recommend you to marry into this family is that this family is acting ghostly and does not follow common sense. Why did you do that when you gave it to ten in case before? Shouldn’t we communicate well before the parents meet, follow the local customs, and do what we do when we meet? I don’t say anything at the dinner table, and I will tell you that the matter is set in ten thousand in private. I personally think it’s incredible! Why not follow common sense? Don’t you understand human etiquette even if you live to be more than fifty years old? There is also the issue of obtaining the certificate. I have already stated the date of obtaining the certificate, why have to change his mind, and your boyfriend is still so insistent? Even if according to your expectant mother-in-law, you just want to do what should be done earlier, but you have made it clear that you have received the certificate according to the original plan. Normal people don’t think it should be done according to the original plan! What a big deal, why is your boyfriend so persistent and hesitate to say something serious? It makes people feel that they didn’t hold their farts. Taking these two things together: the family you are about to marry into is different from most people. It makes people feel that they are not open and bright. Most of the family’s character is not good, and the family style is not good. Even if these things that everyone analyzes for you do not exist, for example, they want to get the certificate early, and then the wedding ceremony fooled over. Even if these do not exist, this family is simply unreasonable, then you will not have a good time marrying in. A maverick person, his relationship with the people around him will not be harmonious, when the time comes, there will be a lot of unthinkable bad things that will make you, and you will not be able to avoid it. Why do I say that? I experienced it myself. Before marriage, my in-laws made me and my family very uncomfortable because of the bride price, wedding photos, and engagement. They didn’t do things according to common sense. He can make very simple things very complicated and uncomfortable. At that time, I got married in a muddle. My mother felt that my in-laws and family were not good at doing things, but my husband and I had a good relationship. When I thought of getting married and not living with my in-laws, I finally compromised. It was only after I got married that I thoroughly understood the difficulties of my mother and my father. How hard it was for them to make a decision to agree to my husband and me. After getting married, I got along with my mother-in-law’s family a lot before I found out that this family (mainly mother-in-law led) was very unreliable in doing things. The relationship with my husband and uncle’s family is bad, and the relationship with my father-in-law and brothers is not good, and I have a family feud with them, which is considered my own family. Within two years of my marriage, my in-laws and that family have a fight every year. We made it to the hospital, but my husband and I ran back to deal with the matter. For the first time in my life, I went to the Public Security Bureau to mediate because of a dispute. My own parents have hardly had trouble with neighbors or villagers for decades. The village is very popular and the relationship with relatives is also very harmonious. I stayed at his house, and it felt like a mess all day long. My mother-in-law talked all the time, telling me that whoever bullied his house all the time, and worked against them. Haha, from the beginning of unraveling to the final distance. , Because I finally saw through the family, and it was liberating myself. Now I seldom chat with them, and always keep a close distance. The mess of their family finally can’t bother me anymore. I will bring the child by myself after giving birth, and I will bring it by myself when I die, so as to protect my child from the bad influence of my mother-in-law. For the rest of my life, let their son deal with the mess made by his parents, I will hide myself~~ Back to your business, I am luckier than you, my husband is not Ma Baonan, so life is okay Now, your boyfriend, obviously Ma Baonan, can you guarantee that he can change it after getting married? Do you dare to take this risk? Think calmly, generally a family with a good atmosphere, the children raised will not be bad. It’s very difficult to get a person out of the mud and not stained. I often sympathize with my husband, and he still has some original family imprints on him, which is also what I hate, but it won’t affect our relationship.

stockin
8 months ago

Passing by ~ Share two things you have experienced firsthand. In 2011, I was in my early twenties. A relative in my family introduced me to a boy who is 6 years older than me. There are 4 siblings in the family, and he is the eldest. His sister is my high school classmate. That guy is very good, and has been unanimously approved by my whole family. Because boys are diligent and can do things for others. My uncertainty about him comes from the fact that he went out to work after graduating from junior high school for ten years, but he didn’t have a penny in savings. His mother is always urging for the engagement, but I never let go. Next, I will talk about reason 1. Before the meeting, his mother said that he planned to buy a marriage house for his son in the city. 2. His mother asked his son to let me get pregnant first. Nothing is mentioned. After mentioning it twice, I found that there was no difference, and when I met again, I mentioned buying a house. But for a while, I will say to buy the town and the other to buy the county. Go to my house during the New Year and talk to my dad about the engagement. My dad asked me quietly, and I said let his family buy a house first. My dad said that he didn’t want to buy a house, he could just buy a car. I don’t want a car, I just buy a house if I want to. After that, my dad expressed his intention to buy a house first and then get engaged. His mother left, and let us go to see the house. After coming back from the inspection, it didn’t take long to break. As a result, his sister contacted me the year before last and said that his brother was not married and had a little money. The second year around 2017, a relative introduced a local aboriginal. Graduated from an indigenous secondary school, one year younger than me. They were relatively simple and honest. The indigenous people I liked at the time called me to eat at his house. After going there three times, I broke off. The indigenous mother is sick, and I don’t know what the disease is. I only know that I can’t speak clearly, I feel cold, and I can’t get out of bed. Go to his house, it’s messy, the kind of dirty that you can’t eat in the kitchen. The first time his dad said that women shouldn’t be too fat (the native mother is not tall, there are two hundred catties), I smiled. Women must know how to teach each other, I smiled. His father said again, what is the use of girls reading so many books. At that time, I was taking my undergraduate exam. On the way back, I asked the natives if your dad didn’t like me! The native said that his father was afraid that I would look down on him. The uncle who went to the aboriginal for the second time was also there, and the aboriginal dad talked to him about where I rented the house. How was it before, how is it now. As soon as the conversation changed, I said that renting a house is inconvenient and it is not convenient for them. Let me move there. I refused because I was too far away from work. His dad mentioned it again, but I refused. His dad mentioned it three times, but I refused it three times. His uncle couldn’t listen anymore and asked where he went to work. After learning where to work, he said it was really far away. Come on, drink. This matter is considered the past. Every time he goes home after eating, his dad says you should go out and go shopping, what you want to buy. The third time I went to the aboriginal dad and mentioned moving there. After refusing, he still mentioned. I just asked bluntly, what does it mean to move here? The indigenous dad said that there is no such thing as an engagement in our family. Isn’t your family engaged for money? When it comes to that, I’m not polite. Ask directly, even if you don’t get engaged, it’s not too much to meet your parents. What does this mean? After these rounds, the natives did not speak during the whole process. He didn’t speak for me either. After returning, I called the natives and asked them directly what they meant. The natives said that engagement is not insurance. The marriage was ruined after the previous engagement. I said marriage and divorce. Later, the more noisy and fierce, I said that he was lying (this is a fact), and he said that I worshipped money. I asked him, how have I treated you in the past few months? How much does it cost you? As long as you can tell the number, I will return it to you. He stopped talking because I was really good to him, almost AA. Then they broke up. But thanks to myself at that time, I chose to give up. The husband now is very good. I love him very much! He let me know that I am fine, I am worth it!

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