During my graduate school, I was really suffering. It was an invisible suffering. I can understand those who jumped off the building for masters, doctors or post-doctoral students, and I can also understand the news that the prestigious school is a monk after a doctoral degree. I don’t know why. I feel pain from the sky, but I can’t tell why.
I personally believe that the pain of graduate school is essentially the tearing and reorganization of myself. To be honest, I was in a low mood last semester and felt very painful for graduate school. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get rid of it. I often wondered if I was suffering from anxiety or depression. Before that, I had never experienced such a dark period. After alleviating, I realized that this kind of pain is a process I must go through. Because I don’t know your experience well, so here, I will only analyze the cause of my pain. 1. Before the loss of “advantage”, there was a very popular group on Douban called “985 Waste Group”, and there was also a very popular term called “the town is a writer”. Unfortunately, I am one of them. Born in a small county, using the college entrance examination as a springboard, he finally entered a relatively good university. My parents are ordinary people, and I didn’t even graduate from high school. I am very grateful to my parents. They supported me in my studies with a relentless attitude, but this means that I have no elders to lead the way. Everything depends on myself. Harder. But at the time I didn’t realize that at the university, I was ignorant and didn’t prepare for the future, but in the end I stumbled to secure research. Roughly all the luck is spent on finding a better tutor, who is really kind to the students, and I am very grateful to him. Competition is everywhere, at this time I fell into the abyss of pain. Because of the limitation of thinking formed before, my thesis looks very naive every time, even ridiculous. Looking at the results of other people’s article after article, I naturally feel particularly anxious. However, the thinking inertia formed in the previous two decades is not so easy to change. When the evaluation standard changes from academic performance to the quality of the paper, all of your previous “advantages” collapse, from “excellent” to “ordinary”, or even to ” Poor students”, the huge gap between them overnight, is unbearable. 2. Social cramps because they put all their energy on learning, and basically know nothing about external things. When others talk about makeup, movies, TV shows, sports stars or other things in the field, they can only listen to each other in embarrassment, and may even make jokes. As time goes by, social skills get worse and worse. Probably because of low self-esteem, I didn’t dare to express my opinions loudly. I was nervous and sluggish when I said my opinions, and finally gave others a bad impression. I really want to improve myself, but neither thinking nor social skills can be changed in a few days or even a few months. When my improvement falls far short of my own requirements, I will become more and more inferior. Depressed, even self-defeating, often crying in the middle of the night. 3. Self-Imperfection Since childhood, parents have been telling them that if you study hard, you can only be successful if you enter a good university. Really, I never thought about what I wanted. I just learned mechanically. When I couldn’t get a sense of accomplishment from learning, I started to re-examine myself, only to find that I never knew what I wanted from learning. Forgetting where to read a sentence, roughly means that when adolescence does not improve the self and does not form an idea of the self, it will be reshaped in the youth. In youth remodeling, when we have a vague understanding of reality, we have not had a complete self before, and we have to tear apart and regroup, and add external pressure. This kind of pain is really hard to bear. But once we get through it, we think about the world more deeply. Perhaps the role of graduate school is this. Improve your thinking state and deepen your way of thinking. How to spend this dark moment? First of all, we must analyze the causes of our pain in depth, and formulate relevant progress plans for all aspects. Fatty is not a bite, tolerant of yourself, make a little progress every day, and constantly summarize your mistakes, and then correct them so that you can continue to improve. , And feel happy about your progress and maintain a good attitude. Come on! Hope you spend this dark time soon!