A family of famous doctors, talented and beautiful from a young age, with awards hanging on the walls, these messages suggest that Fang Siqi lives in a family that pays great attention to face. In a mere appearance family, there is no real “emotion” between parents and between parents and children. Everyone wants to make a beautiful vase. Once a person has a “human touch”, it is a piece Very terrible thing. When their daughters said that they needed sex education, they actually responded like this: Just now at the dinner table, Siqi said to her mother with bread and butter, “Our family education seems to have everything, but there is no sex education.” My mother looked at her in surprise and answered “What kind of sex education? Sex education is for those who need sex.” What’s wrong with the need for sex? Need sex to show that you are dirty? Don’t you need sex? Finally, there is a sex education textbook that tells children how to protect themselves, but the parents who think that they protect their children are booed off the shelves. As everyone knows, every silence in sex education is an inspiration to the devil. In Chinese culture, “saving nature and destroying human desires” has always been a cultural mainstream, do not believe you are a middle school student You can see in the school uniforms that you wear like face pockets, how much abstinence is promoted in Chinese culture. Food color, sex too. Sex is the same as eating, which is the most basic need of a person to live, but our culture has to deny this, so what’s the point of being alive? Why to this day, our family still “talks about sex change”? When a daughter comes to puberty, she often has to face a midlife crisis father and a menopausal mother. The relationship between husband and wife may have changed from “love to family”, and the love between men and women has long been barren and deserted. Men may have been secretive and have objects of sexual satisfaction outside, while women have begun to eat the Buddha and enter the asexual world to become ostriches. The daughter’s growing hormones can easily awaken the mother’s pain-I am old and declining, unable to make my husband desire me. I am already a woman on the verge of being abolished. I am a woman who needs sex but does not have sex. Middle-aged woman… All her expectation is to let her daughter not irritate her pain, and at the same time she hopes that her daughter can always be her good girl, a small vase, and become the pride of her life. In short, she does not want her daughter to be more self-conscious, more independent, and more lustful. These are terrible destruction of her self-hypnosis and will make her realize how sad she is. At this time, she will blacken the existence of sex, desire and all human nature. How shameful she will blacken a woman with sexual desire, if her husband is out for pleasure at this time, she will be interested Inadvertently let her daughter realize: what a pitiful and shameful man a man is, even your dad is just a low-level creature, only low-level creatures need sex, because he needs low-level stimulation, he will betray Family, and the little vixen who seduce him outside is even more mischievous…At this time, if the father does not have enough EQ, he does not know how to deal with the increasingly mature daughter. He can feel his desire for his daughter, but this What a shame! All he can do is to gradually alienate his daughter. My daughter will also be very confused, how can I be sexually interested in such a mean thing? Why do I think so hard about my father? If I want to hug my dad and act like a baby in my dad’s arms, is it a kind of depravity? Then when I was a little girl, how could I walk like this without being condemned? How do I distinguish between being a daughter and being close to a father, and being a woman and being close to a father? It is conceivable that after this news comes out, many people will scream: We must strengthen sex education for girls! Things are not that simple. The reason why we have repeated problems in sex education is because we have resistance. This resistance is not only a problem of ideas, but the failure of sex education may also come from the failure of the family, the failure of the relationship between husband and wife, and the self of adult parents. Developmental failure: Couples enter a period of indifference, unable to develop human emotions, they can only materialize themselves, men go outside for fun, women begin to close themselves; daughters cannot face the ever-expanding desires and “containers” that are impossible to process : How should she face desire? Is it depravity or depression? Depravity is pleasant, but full of sin; repression is safe, but uninteresting. At this time, devil teachers or bad boys are easy to take advantage of the emptiness. They are the worst sexual enlightenment teachers. They stand in the blank area that their parents are afraid to avoid, and become the only ones who answer the girl’s questions, but the price is, the girl To suffer the trauma of a lifetime. What kind of trauma is this? This is a story about “a girl fell in love with a seducer.” The emotions of all of us are a process of gradual differentiation. At the beginning, we will project all our needs to our parents, thinking that they can meet all our needs. But later we discovered that kindergarten teachers can also meet some of the needs that our parents cannot meet: in the outside world, we also need authority protection; we also need a “head-up” perspective between peers; we also need a perspective from the top, we can Help them and get a sense of value from it… This is a process of gradual differentiation of needs. In the end, only a small part of the satisfaction of our parents is left, and most of the needs have been gradually subcontracted in different categories. But in a family with “low emotional differentiation”, because parents cannot give their children enough emotion, all the children’s attention is to maintain the needs of their parents. Lin Yihan’s father is a man who is very dissatisfied with narcissism. What he needs most is not money, but other people listening to his endless speeches. A person so needs others to listen, and what others listen to is to feed him. How can such a person be patient enough to listen to his daughter’s confession? (Note: Dissatisfaction with narcissism means that you do not like yourself very much. You need to seek likes everywhere to make yourself feel good.) If parents’ narcissism level is too low, they will unconsciously reach out to their children and let them sacrifice themselves. The price, to satisfy their urgent self-esteem. Children exist to make them feel worthy of living. For a long time, Lin Yihan only developed a perfect personality mask, and her self was stagnant at a very young age. She was so eager to be loved and even sexually assaulted, and she had to endure it for a long time. This is true for many people who lack love at a very young age. They fall in love with rapists, people who have been in love with her for a long time, and the scumbag who keeps cheating, just like a prostitute falls in love with a pimp, and a drug addict falls in love with a drug dealer. same. She would rather be abused, would rather be injured than feel cared for, even if she knew that the other party was using herself, she knew that all this was just being deceived again and again. But guilt and self-doubt torture her. She drinks coffee, stays up late, suffers from chronic insomnia, and wakes up screaming and crying when she sleeps, because her world is half an iceberg and half a flame. She once hinted to her family that she needed help, but her mother said that the teacher-student relationship is the girl’s own harassment. Later, Siqi began to refuse, but was tied up with a rope by the teacher forcibly, and Siqi went crazy ever since. The teacher also sent her nude photos to warn the other girls who had been killed. Those girls who were killed did not get much better in the end. Mom tells her daughter that you should be a person with self-esteem, even if your self-esteem sometimes sews your mouth. After she is famous, she belongs to the perfect world, and the parents who betrayed her lose the meaning of existence; Teacher Devil has two things she needs: sexual satisfaction and a little feeling of being cared for. So as long as the teacher calls out, he still can’t help attending the appointment. This is the saddest place. She was turned into a vase by her parents and sexually exploited by another social “parent”. No one can understand her and comfort her; no one can protect her and point her. What she couldn’t understand was why the person she loved would treat her in such a cruel and inhuman way? She couldn’t understand herself, why was she exploited and hurt so much, or should she indulge in it again and again? Her self is too poor to distinguish between love and hatred, satisfaction of desire and satisfaction of dignity. She constantly uses the logic of her parents to self-attack, and she constantly uses her own human needs to attack the logic of her parents. Her life lacks the comfort of motherhood and the thought weapon of fatherhood to digest everything that happened to her, so everything she does is self-contradictory. Even at the wedding, she locked herself in the room while crying while watching novels. She writes novels with a malicious intent, wanting others to suffer, and at the same time indulging in the constant “meticulous depiction” of those painful details. In a sense, her marriage has completed allegiance to her parents, because her daughter’s marriage often means the pinnacle of the honor of her parents’ lifetime, and it must also give the narcissistic father a good opportunity to speak. At the same time, he published books, accepted interviews, and committed suicide shortly after marriage. In fact, it was a kind of protest, an accusation against his parents, and an attack on the world. Perhaps only one death can the world understand her, value her, and love her. Many people told me how much she wanted to die. After death, she knew she wanted to see the regretful faces of her parents, but why didn’t she commit suicide afterwards? It was because she discovered that even if she died, the parents might be at a loss, wondering what happened to their children. Last year, hackers secretly logged into the mobile phones of many Hollywood stars and posted nude photos of the actresses online. Among them was the big cousin Jennifer Lawrence. She curiously asked the reporter: Why should I apologize? To apologize, it should be those hackers who exposed the privacy of others to be held accountable. I think of Edison Chen and many actresses who took pornographic photos, which is also personal privacy, but once exposed, he and those actresses who were originally the victims will be greatly affected. For this reason, he has to quit the entertainment circle and apologize. Why should he apologize? It was the criminals who hacked his faulty hard drive and these photos appeared. Are he and the actresses the victims? There is always this logic in Chinese culture: if you are stolen, people will accuse you of not protecting your wallet; if a woman is sexually assaulted, people will accuse you of improper behavior-why other women are not harassed? Because our culture is the culture of face, there is no justice and no humanity in the face culture. If you are unlucky, everyone will be pushed against the wall, so you can only swell your face to fill your body. This is a society where errors are not allowed, mistakes are not allowed, and the weak are not allowed to exist. In such a culture, it is no wonder that there are so many giant babies, so many virgins, and so many “psychological poor”. My consultation room is full of people like this. They are people with “no tiles and no place to stand” in their inner world. No one understands her, no one supports her, and no one can help her. Even psychiatrists have corrected the diagnosis of her condition several times-“You are a person who has experienced the Vietnam War” → “You are a person who has experienced a concentration camp” → “You are a person who has experienced a nuclear explosion”, a More than one overwhelmed her. I don’t know the context of these words, but these descriptions are only literal and have certain problems: obviously Lin Yiru’s problem is that she lacks the thought weapon to digest these painful thoughts, and her three views have caused her to treat this matter. Chew repeatedly. What happened to her was indeed terrible, but more importantly, how should she understand what happened to her? Is this really so terrible? Not necessarily. She needs sex, it’s not wrong; she wants the love of her parents, it’s not wrong; her world is not perfect, it doesn’t matter; even if the world is nuclear exploded, she can rebuild a better home. Her death did not lie in sexual assault, but could not find the meaning of existence. The horror of trauma lies in destruction, destroying all the meaning of your existence, and you have nothing to defend against this world. But the benefits of trauma are also ruining, because it can also allow you to rebuild a world through destruction. And this reconstruction comes from a person who can stay with her in that place of the Vietnam War, in that concentration camp, in that nuclear explosion site, and walk out with her. Unfortunately, no one can really walk into her heart. Perhaps this is a necessity. She chose the perfect literary world instead of trusting in a person’s company, which in itself shows that she might have hit it like this. But you must remember that you have another choice, which is to heal in love! If you have any marital emotional confusion, you can leave a message in the comment area or contact @心理咨询师卢悦 There is always a night to go in life, I am the hands holding you in the dark.


By zhiwo

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Notify of
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
6 months ago

I think Fang Siqi was not crazy all at once, but a little bit crazy. It started when he was injured by Li Guohua for the first time at the age of 13. And the teacher’s behavior has been countless times for the first time-taking her to various small hotels. This caused her to have nightmares, shut herself in the bathroom and cry, and she couldn’t resist because of the difference in strength, experience, and background between the two. If someone can help her, maybe she won’t go crazy step by step, but no, Li Guohua is also sure that no one will help her before looking for her. Her parents and literary works have influenced her to become a good child with strong self-esteem, education, and carelessness; such a child would not want to show such a “ugly” in front of others. Suffering serious injury and no one to talk to, Siqi chose to hypnotize herself with her teacher in pain: just treat herself as a teacher and love her. However, self-hypnosis can only play a superficial role. Siqi is a precocious girl. She knows that the teacher’s words are deceptive, which makes her more painful. She wanted to regard herself as Li’s lover, at least a special lover, but the truth was repeated in front of her time and time again, that is, Li only wanted to find a personal companion. Li Guohua gradually exposed his nature after he succeeded: the knowledge and vocabulary he mastered are all vain, and literary books are only his tools for hunting for beauty. Siqi said that Li Guohua only cared about whether she was pregnant or not when she was sick. Siqi reincarnates repeatedly in hypnosis and wakefulness, so she walks in a trance on the street and wants to collide with a car uncontrollably. Because Li Guohua’s nature was exposed, this hypnosis gradually became useless. It was not only a fantasy of love, but even the respect for the teacher no longer existed. Fang Siqi’s illness deepened a little bit, and his willingness to think decreased a little bit. What to wait At that time, Li Guohua completely gave up hypnosis and took away the last glimmer of hope, when Siqi would be destroyed. Then this ultimate insult happened, and Li Guohua finally didn’t want to pretend at all, and stopped hypnotizing and creating fantasies. The paradise created by mind finally collapsed, and Fang Siqi’s consciousness died in it as he wished.

6 months ago

When reading this book, I think she wrote very carefully. To a cryptic metaphor on the dining table, the lamb-like expression on the face of the neighbor’s sister after being domestically abused, and the temperature in the palm of the teacher when the teacher took off her underwear for the first time. I remember her writing that the cotton underwear was white at the time, “It is clean, and it is not to please anyone.” The very fine writing reflects the very fine heart, and she remembers everything. The teacher’s sexual assault was physical torture. At the same time, he destroyed the sacred sense of the words “literature” and “love” in her heart. This is precisely the faith that Fang Siqi relies on for a living. More importantly, she is not a person who can move forward easily. Many people wonder why Fang Siqi chooses to suicide when her family is happy and her career is bright. Because in their opinion, the injury she received is indeed very serious, but everything is getting better, isn’t it? There are also some people who may have suffered no less damage than Fang Siqi. They have also had self-doubt, tossing and turning, and thinking about death again and again, but in the end they came out because they were walking forward. As for Fang Siqi, she remembered all the details so clearly. Her early wisdom, sensitivity, and purity forced her to return to the scene of the crime again and again after she became an adult. She remembered all the details, and every sin was vividly remembered. Those memories entangled her as a child. She stood on this end of the glass room as an adult, watching her humiliated, broken, and crying for help. People take care of it. So she was crazy and she couldn’t go out. When we read “Fang Siqi’s First Love Paradise”, we feel that the plot is cruel, and laws and regulations should pay attention to combating the sexual assault of minors. We feel that the words are beautiful and the metaphor is interesting. We can extract some literary references from it. It is a good book for us. Most of us will only read this book once, and those who like it may read it two or three times. As for Fang Siqi, she touched every word on every title page one by one at night. She read the book 10,000 times, and she read every detail thoroughly, and every sentence was memorized. Because that was the memory she couldn’t break free, it was her bloody life.

6 months ago

In fact, the title of the book tells you. “First Love” and “Paradise”. When I was reading this book, I was still reading, and it was very strange, why such a story about a beautiful little girl who completely crushed Fang Siqi should be described in the word “paradise”. In terms of content, it is also divided into three sections: “paradise”, “lost paradise” and “recovery paradise”. Because of the long-term obedience to the moral relationship, Fang Siqi was torn and confused. In order to protect herself, she could only hypnotize herself. “I love the teacher, and the teacher also loves me. Our souls fit together and we are a common friend of literature. So we have such a relationship”. This unbearable relationship made her miserable. She couldn’t resist or ask for help. In fact, her self-hypnosis was a kind of survival at this time. “Actually, I was already dead when I first thought of death.” It was through the literature she admired that Li gained the initial favor and trust of Fang Siqi. Later, “literature” was also used by Fang Siqi. In order to maintain self-hypnosis and break her tie at the end, as well as an excuse for Li cunning to get away. It is particularly ironic that the ladies and gentlemen in the ending building still gather around the table to eat, citing Fang Siqi’s madness and Xu Yiwen’s departure as “reading too many books”. During the time Fang Siqi and Li maintained the relationship, she has been trying to maintain her dignity position: at least they are equal, and she can maintain the bottom line of dignity. Li gave her a large amount of pocket money. She felt ashamed and bluntly said that she was not a prostitute. What was more obvious was that she was accosted by a man once and she refused “I have a boyfriend”, even if this boyfriend is thirty years older than her. Many years old. Fang Siqi thinks she is Li’s girlfriend, but at the same time she clearly knows that this shouldn’t be. There are also obvious pathological features of self-abortion and mental problems. Boys of the same age sent her love letters one after another. She read the touching compliments in it, but her heart words were “I am a rotten orange juice and thick soup, I am a rose and a lily full of insect eggs.” And Yi Ting The record of Fang Siqi is even clearer. Fang Siqi drank coffee, cried, screamed, and burst into tears in her pillow all night, she also shelved her studies, and was publicly called “ill” by her teacher. Even from the outside world, Fang Siqi’s mental state has already had obvious problems, and when she told Li that she was sick, the symptoms she described were “dissociation” and she couldn’t remember many things, this state It also lasted for many years. The fuse of Fang Siqi’s madness is even further forward. Fang Siqi almost cried when Li said that “Dream of Red Mansions” was just “faintly breathless” when he said that “A Dream of Red Mansions” was nothing but a little bit of breath. When Li said that Feiyan was good, she cried and asked, “Is literature like this in the teacher’s heart?” Literature is Fang Siqi’s Taoyuan, so Li’s “deterioration” (or exposure) made “Paradise” shaky, and Li’s perfunctory and ugly hypocrisy prevented her from deceiving herself. All these ups and downs are happening in secret. Yi Ting, who knew this relationship, didn’t find it. She only felt distressed, angry and even jealous. The Fang family’s parents who didn’t know about the relationship didn’t find out, and Fang’s mother gave it back to Li’s family. After sending the crab, Yi Wen only noticed one thing…no one could help her resolve it. Judging from Guo Xiaoqi’s experience, Fang’s mother and Yi Ting’s reaction, Fang Siqi is more likely to encounter the victim’s allegations. And Li Guohua took her nude photos to threaten Guo Xiaoqi, which shows that Li Guohua has completely controlled her and completely abandoned her. She used to soothe her Li’s knowledge and knowledge is nothing but a weapon for hunting beauty, she is clever and polite. The love Fang Siqi thought was just hunting her as a plaything, because “you are too beautiful”, she was just selected, played with, and then destroyed and used without mercy. The paradise built by consciousness collapsed tragically, and Fang Siqi’s soul disappeared.

6 months ago

“Fang Siqi’s First Love Paradise” Why is Li Guohua’s behavior defined by society as sexual assault, but Fang Siqi does not leave him? Why does Li Guohua sexually assault Fang Siqi, but Fang Siqi wants to paralyze herself. This is love, stay with him? Why is her first love paradise? Because (mainstream values ​​will even worsen her ugliness), if she feels that she is Stockholm syndrome, she may still enjoy the sexual desire in it, and she betrayed her body for money. This is the answer that I have been thinking about, but can’t figure it out. Children, young girls, what kind of group are they? They have not yet constructed their selves, have no roles, and have no facial makeup. Their selves are given by adults. Fang Siqi herself: Li Guohua disintegrated her self-love and self-esteem. Her self-love and self-esteem was constructed by her own purity. She felt that she was dirty and she had no helper. It was like falling into a bottomless abyss. She saw that there was nothing next to her. The mother who was ashamed of sex education saw Liu Yiting, who built her self-esteem and self-love values ​​with purity, and saw countless netizens who flogged the victims. When she unconsciously walked into the abyss, she saw despair, coldness, and further closure. It has made her feel that she has changed from a person to an animal that is raped. This is something that has been determined from the moment when she was raped, and the love that Li Guohua keeps saying is what she does. The reason people live, but in fact this love is also a cover for animality. She does not believe in Li Guohua, she does not love Li Guohua, but the reason for living as a human being, but the reason for doing that. It is the love that human beings have. It is the love that a ignorant little girl sees in the book. She worked hard to create the appearance and the reason to live. The reason why she never left Li Guohua is because the love Li Guohua gave is the only reason for her to live. What she cannot do without is sexual desire. , It’s not that she actually enjoys sexual desire, but that she has no reason to live if she leaves. She feels that she is dirty and hates herself. People around them will hate herself if they know it. Now she is not sure or She doesn’t want to believe what happened to herself. She has to find a reason for herself not to hate herself, and find a reason to live. That reason is that she doesn’t want to believe it, but to force her to believe in the “love”, she has to find one. Box, put yourself up, otherwise you will be shattered like porcelain. With her own values ​​and other people’s judgments of her, she deserves to die, but she wants to live, she is only a teenager, and she blinds herself on the one hand On the one hand, the values ​​of the general public are clear over and over again that this is not love, but rape, and sexual assault. She wants to live, to hypnotize herself, but she doesn’t want to live, she hates her sordid self. This contradiction has been fighting in her heart for a long time. She gradually grew up until she realized that what happened to her was a tragedy. In her values, she gradually realized that what happened to her could not be obliterated, and she was treated like that. The self in the past is after all a part of myself, I can’t live with this kind of pain, and the beginning of self-loathing cannot end. In the recent case of Bao Mouming’s sexual assault on an underage girl, the method of committing the crime is almost exactly the same. In the name of love, he used to knead the values ​​of the underage girl, creating the illusion of love, a respectable gentleman. Using the other party’s inexperience in the world and trust in adults, shamelessly knead the other’s values, use social prejudice and narrow-mindedness to attack the other party, so that the other party has no way out. Use the other’s pure body to satisfy one’s sexual desire, use the construction of the other’s values ​​to satisfy one’s own desire for God, use the other’s shame to live to cover up their crimes, and use love to give the other party a reason to live to continue their crimes. The crime of destroying people mentally and physically is the real crime of the devil. Morality and law only make the world orderly, but they do not make the world a better place. May our education make the mainstream values ​​of society no longer treat ignorance as purity and ignorance as virtue. Every child who suffered value distortion abuse and sexual assault in childhood can speak up bravely, and everyone who sees it can hear the truth, instead of covering the child’s mouth with his own experience and value, instead of being painful and cautious. Speak out instead of the truth, reverse the victim and the perpetrator.

6 months ago

1. Siqi put down her guard;
We think that sexual assault should be a special abnormal group, but in fact everyone may be.
They can be teachers, doctors, lawyers, company executives; even family members, neighbors, and friends.
“Usually, because she was in middle school, Siqi often received breakfast and drinks. They instinctively guarded against men.
But the person in front of him seemed to have passed the boundary line that needed to be guarded. 』
“Li Guohua knew that he was judged to be safe, thank you for the first time. 』
“He straightened up: “I’m Teacher Li, who just moved in. You are downstairs. I happen to be teaching Chinese. I can borrow books if I need them.”
Correct. Try to understate as much as possible. A style of late Ming. cough. Show your oldness. 』
Identity and age have become a fig leaf for “Li Guohua”.
Siqi consciously let go of the guard, but Li Guohua has an opportunity to take advantage of.
The nightmare also began.
2. Siqi has strong self-esteem;
Many details described in the book reflect this.
“It was Fang Siqi’s self-esteem that finally made Li Guohua determined to take this step.
Such a delicate child would not speak out because it is too dirty.
Self-esteem is often a hurting needle, but here, self-esteem will sew her mouth. “This is also the most disgusting part of “Fang Siqi’s First Love Paradise”.
Because of her strong sense of shame and self-esteem, Siqi couldn’t speak to others, and she had nowhere to resist.
3. “Li Guohua” perfect deception plan;
A video of “Pre-convicts of child molestation tells how to deceive” was previously posted on YouTube;
The molester in the video has clear thoughts and rigorous logic.
The first step is the economic situation of the family;
The second step is the social situation;
The third step, pay special attention;
The fourth step is serial indecency.
“If you think your father is threatening, you won’t get close.”
“I feel that if you have a friend you can talk to, you won’t get close.
“If you have a low level of education, you will be close.”
“If you need help in many ways, you will get close.”
“If there is a friend who is equally possible, it will be close.”
After reading the straight hair, such a rigorous “deception plan”, I am afraid that no adult can resist, let alone an ignorant and immature child.
And Li Guohua used his identity to let Siqi put down his vigilance.
After the lure was successful, Li Guohua said some disgusting words to attack Siqi’s psychological defense.
For example: “Teacher, I treat you like this because I love you. You can’t be angry with the teacher, etc.”
4. Sexual taboos, sexual prejudice and social inaction;
Siqi inadvertently asked her mother, “We have all kinds of tutoring at home, but there is no sex education.”
As a result, my mother scolded “Sex education is for those in need”
“Mom, a student and teacher have been together recently.”
“Who? So shameless at such a young age?”
There are also two victims in the novel, one is called Biscuit and the other is called Xiaoqi;
After Biscuits was known to her family, her family’s first reaction was not whether the daughter was forced, but instead scolded her as a third party, shamelessly, and ruined the family;
After Xiaoqi posted his experience, all he got was the irony of the netizens and the secondary harm.
The whole world felt that it was her own fault, and even she felt that it was her own fault.
The taboo on sex killed their final escape.
More serious than the lack of sex education is sexual prejudice.
In this era of “talking about sex change”, women are the first to be attacked.
After being harmed, women cannot protect their privacy at all, nor can they get fair respect.
In the movie “Call Frenzy”, the role played by Ma Li is raped by her boss. The first act of the movie is that she is about to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
Because no one can sue, there is nowhere to resist.
This world always advocates patience and regards patience as a virtue,
So after being hurt, we habitually endure and even rationalize the pain.
Siqi even forced herself to fall in love with the teacher, because only in this way, what he and the teacher did was reasonable and would not make her suffer so much.

6 months ago

In the eyes of Li Guohua, who is well-versed and proficient, every little girl who admires his literary talent is a handy Chen Hengyu body. While he was spitting out the fragrant rhetoric of China for thousands of years on the podium of the cram school, he was peeling away the thin uniforms of several beautiful girls under the podium with his eyes. The milk is delicate and tender. Tired of the 16-year-old female high school student, he began to extend his greedy demon’s hand to thirteen-year-old Siqi. He thought: The students in the cram school are at least 16 years old and have already jumped off the island of Lolita. Fang Siqi was only twelve or thirteen years old. She was still riding a tree trunk on the island, licked by the waves. And the reason she was stared at was simply because she was beautiful enough and self-esteem enough to sew her mouth. When she was violated for the first time, Siqi wrote in her diary: “Why am I not? Why not? Why not? Why not you? Until now, I did not know that this whole incident can be reduced to this. Act 1: He forced in, and I apologized for it. “Why don’t I?” Why don’t I? Why would she not even open her mouth to refuse in the face of assault? In fact, this book laid the groundwork for her soul twin Yi Ting and the life control group Yi Ting as early as the beginning. 01. The lack of multi-level education in the world When Yi Ting learned to “be charity” under the guidance of her parents, two episodes occurred: When the same tramp intends to break the rules, she will give the same age children who are also responsible for dividing the “three dumplings” When Xiao Kui asked for more glutinous rice balls, Xiao Kui was very clever with “This is not my choice.” Euphemistically, he refused the tramp. After Yi Ting listened, her heart softened, and she worried that Xiao Kui would be angry if she gave one more glutinous rice ball. When it was embarrassing, he had already given “four” unknowingly. Later, when an aunt who was obviously not a vagrant asked them for glutinous rice balls with a plastic bag, Yi Ting’s reaction in the original text was: There was no way to think about it anymore. This aunt has a home, so she is not a homeless friend. Can’t think about it anymore. And Xiaokui’s response was to euphemistically say “no” to the aunt who was not a tramp and came to ask for clothes. The book described it like this: another aunt asked them for clothes. Xiaokui suddenly became the master very much. He firmly said to his aunt: “Auntie, we only have glutinous rice balls. Only glutinous rice balls. Yes, but we can give you a few more.” Auntie showed a dull expression, as if counting glutinous rice balls or Clothing can bring heat but not. It can be seen from this that Yi Ting, Siqi’s soul twin, is very ignorant when facing certain things. Their parents told them to “learn to be charity”, but they did not teach them to face the disadvantaged uncles and aunts. How to do it. Siqi and Yiting are both soft, ignorant and educated girls from typical exquisite families. They have seen all the good education and tried to decorate their bodies with all the virtues, but they have not received the “ugly” education. Therefore, when faced with some unreasonable requests, they lack the ability to deal with things. Being immersed in the literary world, when facing the ugly side of the world, there is a kind of innocence that is not yet in the world. Why am I not? I don’t want it? Because she was frightened by the ugly face that suddenly opened. I was even more shocked by the talented and respected teacher. Parents told them what “virtue” is, but they never taught them how to reject each other and protect themselves when faced with “ugliness”. At the same time, the discoloration of sex talk caused Siqi to feel that she had made a mistake. He used a nonchalant tone: “I heard Yi Ting say that you like me very much.” Because it was too close, the original meaning of Yi Ting’s words was completely different. Li Guohua used the little girl’s ignorant sense of reverence to blur the boundary between liking and admiration. Under the name “You like me”, he completed the plunder of Siqi’s life. Siqi’s heart is too immature, such a small piece of softness. At the same time, she is ignorant and pure as ice flowers on the sea. She believes too much in the equivalence between the level of literature and the level of morality, so that when things happen, she doesn’t think she should or shouldn’t. Angry at the teacher, the teacher is a person who is talented and can memorize the entire Song of Everlasting Regret. He is someone who should have noble character after reading so many books, so she apologized to the teacher, even though she had vaguely realized the mistake of this relationship . Believe it or not, there are some people in the world who are not angry, and even have to learn to be angry, and what they usually do is “endurance.” 02. The parents ignored Siqi’s help signal for many times and Zhou Siqi still went downstairs. She saw that there were no essays and red and blue pens on the desk. Her heart is as desolate as the desktop. Siqi, who has strong self-esteem, is afraid to talk about such a dirty thing when facing her parents’ inquiries and Yi Ting’s question: “Why don’t you go to Teacher Li to make up a lesson?” Sacrifice, step by step, send yourself into the wolf’s mouth. She thinks that if you try to maintain the normal on the surface, everything can be as if it had never happened. Siqi’s “love teacher” is an instinctive avoidance of shame. Use this kind of indecent love to beautify the fact that you have been seduced and raped. She has the desire to “live”. Before being tied up, she still wanted to discuss the issue of “love” with Yi Ting again. While lying in bed observing Li Guohua standing at the door, she was still thinking Li Guohua’s “love” for her, only by encapsulating these things in the shell of “love”, can she live without so much pain. In the name of love, rationalize your behavior and purify your body. In the brainwashing of love, and the soberness of not loving (after all, he is so vulgar), she kept pulling herself, but unfortunately, in the end, her soul was torn apart in the pulling of the teacher binding her. She once asked for help from her parents and put her thoughts on the fictitious teachers and students, but after receiving a response from her mother: “That girl is a real show,” she was silent and decided to put the worries in her heart. It was also at that time that Siqi realized that in this story her parents would be absent forever. They were absent from school, but thought they hadn’t started school yet. Just like Li Guohua once thought: He found that the social taboo of sex is too convenient. Rape a girl, the whole world thinks it is her own fault, even she thinks it is her own fault. In this tragedy, are Siqi’s parents not Siqi’s parents, but a key part of the evil plan laid out by Li Guohua. After Siqi showed obvious reluctance, her parents were still arrogant, self-assertive, and unsuspectingly arranged Siqi to a man who was not familiar with her. After Siqi became crazy, the parents didn’t think about why the children were crazy, but where they should be arranged so as not to be ashamed. My mother said that of course it is impossible to raise it at home or stay in Kaohsiung. There are several doctors in the building. Nor can it be in Taipei. Many parents in the gifted class are doctors. It was a compromise and was sent to a nursing home in Taichung. Yi Ting looked at Taiwan, their island was folded in half, Kaohsiung Taipei was the peak, Taichung was the valley, and Siqi fell. 03. Knowing people is also a basic survival skill. Parents teach their children to read, write, move forward, be civilized, and be polite, but they neglect to “know people” from an early age. As a result, he has been unable to jump out of the cycle of “being unfair to people and not knowing people well” for a lifetime. Before the tragedy happened, in the eyes of Yi Ting and Si Qi, Li Guohua was a god-like figure: tears flowed down, like the zipper on Yi Wen’s face, so that they could see the fragility in Jin Yu. It was Teacher Li who spit out the evil side of the world and turned them up and down along the cracks. At that time, none of them could think that Teacher Li was evil itself. And my knowledge of people is based entirely on my own feelings. For me, a slow person who is highly alert to the outside world, I prefer people who are shy to people who are passionate. The normality in communication is often that my eyes pretend to be patiently and kindly and lightly gaze, design each point that should be recognized in time, and try my best to pretend to be a decent and generous “adult”, but my heart sinks back, “Beware “The distance across the entire Atlantic coast. I am always worried that the waves that are too enthusiastic will one day become a tongue of fire licking dry wood and approaching me. Only the “shy” flaws that an adult accidentally exposes will make me relax, like a person who has not been in the water for a long time. Open a sweet spring from the heart. What I like is never a mature adult with copper and iron walls, but the innocent “naïve state” between “big” and “not big”. Only in the face of this naive “naive” You can relax your tight heart slowly. What I don’t trust is the competition for profit and desire in adult society. What I trust is the naive softness that has not been changed. No one is “naive” for a moment, and no one is “shy” for a moment, who makes me tensed. Li Guohua in the article is the person I hate the most. People who use their expertise as a sword to provoke one topic after another all the time. Some people are shy, and when they have nothing to say, they are shy and a little nervous to find topics that they are good at talking about, while people like Li Guohua are obviously showing off their knowledge. Like a vulgar prostitute knowing that he has a good-looking chest, he stood in the attic and exposed it in white. People who are truly knowledgeable are self-effacing and ashamed to show off. They will not tell the allusion of a Guanyin without seeing it, and whether they like it or not. After reading a book, think about it as a real story that happened to the author. My heart is more ups and downs like ocean waves. Siqi’s drama is a tragedy of a girl of all mankind. But it is not inevitable. If Siqi knew that she would be driven mad in the end, would she still choose to endure it? If Siqi’s parents can not be so crude, not so vulgar, and don’t reduce a tragedy to a girl’s “cheapness”, will Siqi survive? If Yi Ting and Si Qi are not deceived by Li Guohua’s illusion, can they avoid bad luck? However, in reality, there is no if. It’s really not your fault to be hurt. All people who talk about the guilt of victims are “low-minded” reptiles. As the book says: “Patience is not a virtue. Treating patience as a virtue is the way this hypocritical world maintains its twisted order, and anger is a virtue.” I hope all kind people can vent their anger.

6 months ago

She didn’t go crazy that time, but went crazy little by little. In the past, she loved literature, and she also respected Li Guohua, who was profoundly accomplished in literature, and even had some worship, but it was such a Li Guohua who raped her. Li Guohua deceived her and said it was because of loving her, and she let herself believe it. In her original concept, the kingdom of literature is her belief. Li Guohua, who lives in this country, is noble and will not have ugly thoughts. She only believes that the relationship between herself and Li Guohua is love. Belief will not collapse, and it will make herself feel that she is not defiled but loved. This is a lie that supports her from a mental breakdown for the time being. But as she grew up and experience increased, and with Li Guohua’s endless entanglement, she became increasingly unable to ignore the logical loopholes in her lies, and became more and more able to recognize that the relationship between her and Li Guohua was not love at all, it was just rape. Committed to deceiving the little girl, her spirit broke down completely, so she went crazy

6 months ago

Human adaptability is very strong. Simple pain is not so terrible. What’s terrible is the intense conflict that cannot be reconciled in the heart. How did her conflict come about? Li Guohua caused her suffering, and no one saved her, so she could only subconsciously “reasonably explain” all this in order to relieve the pain. So she forced herself to believe that Li Guohua had “love” for herself, and magnified his strengths and deceived herself with “literature” to ease the pain. The more pain Li Guohua gave her, the more she became obsessed with beautiful “literature” and tried to beautify it. Many years later, when she escaped, Li Guohua no longer caused her pain, but the beautification of literature is still there. At this time she realized that Li Guohua was a complete bastard, but the beautiful literature was tied to this bastard. So there was a strong conflict in her heart. Beautiful literature is combined with ugly scum, so is literature hypocritical, ugly, and protective color of scum? So the pain is over, but this conflict is causing her constant pain. Is the most beautiful and deeply believed thing just a mess of rubbish? The constant pain caused by the collapse of this belief is like the destruction of the entire world. For example, when she encounters beautiful scenery and beautiful love, she subconsciously uses literature to think and describe. But literature is ugly garbage. So contradictory, so painful. Ordinary people can imagine that when you face the most dilemma, that feeling lasts for a month, for a year, and it really makes people crazy. In life, every step you take, every time you think about it, you will suffer. And this kind of conflict comes with a strong desire for destruction, an inward death instinct. “As long as I solve it by myself, the problem will be solved.” The strong adaptability of human beings, coupled with the “rationalized explanation”, often makes people form such conflict traps when facing pain, which makes people free from pain. The pain continued afterwards. Although Li Guohua has left his life, the “literature” in him has always followed her, like a maggot with bones, until its destruction.

6 months ago

Her love for her teacher is not love, but the home of her self-esteem. She thought that no one knew that the soul might return by keeping her self-esteem, but in fact she couldn’t. However, Li Guohua knows very clearly how she protects her self-esteem. When Siqi was disobedient, he didn’t even need to say that “breaking up” was as cruel to Guo. He only needed a photo that was shameful enough. The “crab” Siqi broke Siqi’s illusions about love and self-salvation. , I finally understand how deformed a sexual relationship covered in love for so many years

6 months ago

When the lies she created for herself became more and more untenable, she slowly remembered selectively, and finally went crazy a little bit. When she was forced to use her mouth by Li Guohua for the first time, her heart was actually aware of what had happened and she knew she had been violated. However, Li Guohua, who has read countless people, knew from the first time she saw her in the elevator, that the girl currently has a strong self-esteem and is easy to get into the pit. Strong self-esteem, label of a good girl, parents’ indifferent communication, good friends’ admiration and jealousy of Li Guohua, the situation of neighbors’ sisters being domestically abused. As a result, she didn’t dare to tell friends and family. It was also from this time that she began to tell herself in her heart that, as Li Guohua said, they are love, and things happen because of love. In the world of little girls, it is very simple to worship a person. She likes literature, and Li Guohua is good at literature. Then Li Guohua is an idol and faith. In addition, many girls around him like Li Guohua. She is slowly paralyzed by herself. Maybe she also likes a charming teacher and loves him. That love He could have a relationship, and she started to accept it for granted in her heart. After persuading herself, she psychologically defaulted to accepting that Li Guohua would take her to “see exhibitions” every week and to various small hotels. Li Guohua, who is good at psychological control, is very smart. Such a girl doesn’t need money or cosmetics. Just say a few love words to her, and love poems are enough. However, although the brain persuaded herself to accept it, she was a little girl who hadn’t been in the world after all. In her subconscious mind, she still felt ashamed to open a house. In addition, Li Guohua was worried that she would be seen by the hotel owner. She also confessed that she never looked around. The deeper the sink, the easier it is to be controlled by Li Guohua, the more unable to resist, and the more unable to resist, the more she paralyzes herself. Once they went to a glamorous hotel, and once again made her realize the relationship between the two of them. She began to not accept having a relationship with Li Guohua. This incident was enough to make her with strong self-esteem feel like trampling on the ground. . Later, after Li Guohua appeared about Guo, they began to move the location to Li Guohua’s small apartment and gave her a key. Li Guohua called their home. After jumping out of the hotel, she began to accept the place of this home. She hinted that this was the home where she and the teacher fell in love. Later, as there were more and more boys around her, the way boys in the same grade expressed love and shyness made her realize that this is love, and she began to doubt Li Guohua again. Started to deceive Li Guohua to come to her aunt, and then experienced Li Guohua’s rough crab Fang Siqi, and took photos. This time, she trampled on her self-esteem again. She began to paralyze herself again and continued to make up lies for herself. , A lie that he can accept. She began to feel ashamed of her mother, and she began to be in a daze and couldn’t remember things. Despite the growth of age and consciousness, she began to be unable to deceive herself, began to live in the truth, and began to go crazy.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x