“Chicken baby” means “educating children in a chicken-blood style” and keeps them fighting. From the beginning of the child’s learning of words, parents have begun to practice numbers. The most feared thing is that other children have become full-scale queens, and their children are still in Xinshou Village. However, after adding a “chicken and baby exchange group”, I found that most of them were busy figures of mothers, and the fathers could hardly be seen. Why are mothers more likely to fall into “chicken baby anxiety”? Do you also have “chicken baby anxiety” and how do you deal with it?

The reason why there seem to be more mothers in the chicken baby group is because the father does not like to use the chicken baby in this way, and the mothers who do not have the chicken baby also exist, but they will not join the chicken baby group. As far as my personal feelings are concerned, in fact, both parents will have anxiety, but it is manifested in different forms of “smashing chicken blood.” The mother’s “chicken baby” is mainly in the details. From problems with children’s advancement to school, children’s tuition, and children’s exams and homework, mothers may become anxious because of the performance of “other people’s children”, and then turn their heads to strictly demand their own children. When I was a child, I never heard my dad say about the glorious deeds of “other people’s children”, and occasionally talked about how other people’s children were miserable… My mother really liked to talk about how other people’s children were good. The reason for this phenomenon, I think, is mainly because mothers are more inclined to obtain information about other people’s children. It is precisely because she has listened a lot, and out of self-esteem, she is often told about the good grades of her own children, so mothers will have more opportunities to see the “relative deficiencies” of their children. Place. At the same time, the main topics of the above-mentioned exchanges between parents are some detailed issues. After all, it is impossible to sit and talk all day, so the information received by mothers is mainly some details, such as what other people’s children go to. After school, what kind of cram school, and what is the number one in the exam, naturally you will be able to raise children in these aspects. However, from my experience, my father also “beats chicken blood.” It’s just that unlike my mother, his father mainly closes the door to beat chicken blood. The so-called “closed door” means that you don’t have to compare with other people’s children, but ask your own children based on your own expectations and observations. For example, I hope that the regrets I had when I was studying will not be repeated in my children. For another example, a child’s test scores do not necessarily have to be compared with others, but must be better than the child’s last time. The reason for this situation, in my opinion, is mainly because, compared with the mother, the father may not be so keen on having fun with other parents. When I was in middle school, if my mother organized the parent meeting, the content that came back to convey was not only the part introduced by the teacher, but most of the rest were about other students. It is most likely that she was chatting with other parents. It sounds. At the end of last month, I happened to talk to her about the parent conference when I was in junior high school. The only detail she can remember is that the parents of a certain classmate likes to lift his legs… But if my dad goes to the parent conference, he will definitely say he is today What have you talked about with the class teacher, class teacher, and grade group leader, as for the exchanges with other parents, there may not be any. Therefore, the information he can obtain is mainly the teacher’s personal evaluation of the children. Even if you want to compare, you can only compare the results of the child’s last exam with this time. (But I can do it like my dad, using computer software to analyze the trend of my scores for each exam, and then predict the point increase of my next exam, I think it is enough blood…) Since my father and mother are here There are different tendencies in the selection of communication partners, so it is not difficult to understand why the information they receive is different. Since fathers and mothers make decisions about their children’s education based on different information backgrounds, it is not difficult to understand that the “chicken baby” forms of the two are different. But if you say that your father is not a dick, I absolutely disagree, they just changed the way. It is absolutely unnecessary to say that the chicken baby is the mother’s patent, so that all fathers are throwing hands and mothers are victims. At least this is not the case in my family. Are there any parents who don’t have a baby? Of course there is. Isn’t that just “receiving from the sky”? But what does this have to do with men and women? There are still many mothers who do not have chicken babies, but as I said at the beginning, none of them have joined the group of chicken babies.


By zhiwo

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6 months ago

Isn’t that the standard configuration of a Chinese-style family? A hard-working father + an anxious mother + a broken baby. My father, who is busy at work, returns home to deal with work and use vibrato. A mother who takes her baby to do housework at work, accompanies her to do homework until her blood pressure soars, and she feels dizzy and exhausted. You don’t think I am a parent, I don’t think you are gentle. The pressure is gradually projected from the parents to the baby. Can mothers who are in the front line of the chicken baby not be anxious? Remember the “Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs”? Maslow said that human needs always start from the bottom of the pyramid, and only after they are met can they advance to the upper level. From physical needs to a sense of security, from feeling respect for belonging, and finally to self-realization. The requirements are realized one by one, and they will not jump, let alone backwards. However, most of the children came upside down-starting from the top of the tower and ending at the bottom of the tower. 1. Self-fulfillment Many people’s expectations for babies start from the top of this pyramid. They firmly believe that their babies must start tapping their potential from birth, putting the law of growth aside, and don’t care whether they can use it or not. First, they must develop their potential. Not only do you need to stand up and learn to walk one step faster than others, but also have to be stronger than others in various quotients of emotional intelligence and adversity. At the age of one, children must have the spirit of sharing. At the age of two, they must arrange early education classes. They must dig out their potential before the age of three. As the saying goes, one step is slow, step by step is slow. 2. The potential of respecting the needs of the baby is almost tapped. After being sent to the kindergarten, it is time to focus on hobby classes. At this stage, everyone’s expectations for the baby are-a sense of accomplishment. The starting point for their children’s interest class is not interest at all, but to make others envy, and to put it nicely is to make the baby confident. Children don’t want to learn or love to learn, they will say: It doesn’t matter if you are young or not, but you will be interested later when you are older. Other pianists have also practiced piano since childhood, so why didn’t they say it was hard? You don’t need to envy other people’s children playing every day, they will envy you in the future! 3. The sense of accomplishment such as social needs and self-confidence are almost cultivated, and it’s time for the baby to go to school. Primary school and middle school all the way down, the results are remarkable, the class is the top three. But the question also came: why this kid doesn’t like to participate in group activities, and he is not at all gregarious. The teacher also reports that he is not well-connected, and his grades are obviously good, but no one chooses him as the monitor. Is something wrong? Have you forgotten something in the past few years? So they told their children: You should communicate more with others, don’t be so withdrawn! In the future, it’s useless to study well in society, you have to know what to do! 4. Safety requirements The child has finally gone to college, but the expectations of the parents have been downgraded-I don’t need you to get ahead, I just want you to be safe and secure. So don’t have so many fanciful thoughts every day. It is better to study honestly than nothing. Starting a business is all about death. It is true that you can get a diploma safely and securely. After graduation, they will say: What is good in the big city, come back and live a stable life! I asked your second uncle to help you arrange a job for the Finance Bureau, which is very leisurely! The pressure in the big city is still great, so it’s great to come back! 5. After the physiological needs enter the society, the requirements of parents are even lower-you are not young anymore, hurry up and find a good person to get married and have a baby. Is it a strong sense of substitution and has begun to get angry? Starting from the highest-level part, who is anxious if you are not anxious? This kind of upside-down chicken baby not only breaks the law of children’s growth, but also drives in the opposite direction of the law of human development. When the baby was young, he rushed to accelerate him, but when the baby became an adult, you told him that he must drive with a standard speed limit of 40… I hope that one day we will not be so eager for quick success and quick gains, and have a Buddhist heart and rationality. Chicken baby.

6 months ago

Every parent who has high expectations for the education of their children is basically a generation who believes in the philosophy of struggle. As for why mothers are more prone to anxiety, this is actually a false proposition, because mothers are more likely to assume this role in educating children. As long as there is a dedication to the education of their children, the husband and wife must have reached a consensus on this matter. These people are basically witnesses of the struggle philosophy. Even if they did not achieve a class leap through reading, they also witnessed with their own eyes that their classmates or peers achieved a class leap through reading. This generation generally starts in the 60s and ends in the 80s born before 1985. Because when they graduate and go to work, they are facing a situation of rapid development at the level of society as a whole, and there is huge room for growth in various industries. This generation, using their own personal experience or seeing it with their own eyes, is convinced of the rewards that reading can bring, so many will naturally put great expectations on their next generation. But as the low-hanging-fruits of all walks of life are gradually being picked, the big cakes are almost divided, and their respective hills have been built, and the space for these people behind is being extremely compressed. The direct consequence is that the rewards of studying are no longer as high as before. The reduction in the rate of return to reading actually fits with a formula mentioned in the “21st Century Capital”. That is, the rate of return on capital is greater than the economic growth rate. The meaning behind this, in popular terms, is that the rate of return of making money with money is growing faster than the rate of wages. The driving force behind the chicken baby is to expect the next generation to find a high-paying job. But this hope is becoming increasingly elusive. When more and more people begin to realize this, most people will start to let go of this attachment, and then no longer have anxiety. In fact, Japan can give us a good reference. The highest return rate for studying in Japan is those top medical schools and top universities. After studying at these schools, you can get a decent job. Basically, you can get a decent job. Big business work. The rest can’t open that many gaps. This phenomenon is actually happening in our country, just like in the workplace. In fact, many majors in many colleges and universities may have a lot of difference in scores when they were admitted after the college entrance examination, but the difference in employment is basically the same. Perhaps in the future, there will still be people who are very persistent in educating the next generation, but the number of people who are no longer attached is destined to slowly increase. Of course, to give up attachment is not to let you choose to lie flat, but to find a degree that suits you. It is not advisable to think of either black or white diodes.

6 months ago

This question is a bit annoying. When I was young, I asked: Why did my mother break so many bowls and Dad never? My mother said angrily: Because he was not the one who washed the dishes. My husband asked me: Why do you always keep the soap box wet? I never do it this way when I am at home! I said angrily: Because I have to wash my hands at least 30 times a day, the soap box is too late to dry! Change 5 diapers a day to wash your hands after changing, at least 2 times a day to go out and walk the baby, wash your hands for your baby, make 3 supplementary foods for your baby, wash your hands, plus your own physiological needs, wash your hands before meals and after using… Your soap! Do more and make more mistakes, and you won’t be wrong if you don’t.

6 months ago

The word thief annoys the chicken baby. I am not answering this question today. It’s just the word thief annoying chicken baby, and I have to complain when I come up. This term is extremely disrespectful to children. No child wants to be compared like this. A child is not a tool in the hands of a parent, he is a human! ! ! Is an independent person! ! Not a tool! ! ! Why is mother anxious? I’ve heard of mom group, is there a dad group? If there is a group of fathers, the topic will probably go off to the game in a short while. The core of Jibab’s anxiety should be — see what will happen to other people’s children, and their own family won’t be anxious. In fact, think about it carefully, isn’t our own dear baby okay? As a mother, we can hug the child and look at him every day. He is rare for only a few years. If you don’t be a child elite, you can’t gain a foothold in society, right? Even if you become a child elite, can you guarantee that he will be an elite throughout his life? The root of being a person is family education. Family education is the training base for elite children? Look at yourself, look inward, and look at your own baby. Naturally, there is no anxiety. The future is too far away, even if you see it, it may be a mirage, just to be down-to-earth, looking at the things in front of you, the baby in front of you. Ask yourself, who owns the baby? Does someone else’s family have anything to do with yourself?

6 months ago

Digressing to talk about the current situation of the two children, one was for the college entrance examination last year and the other was for the high school entrance examination last year. Let me talk about the parents of the first child. The mother is a graduate of the National People’s University, and the father is a university graduate in a certain province. The couple started a company more than a decade ago. They didn’t make a lot of money. They bought two apartments in Beijing. The school district room of the best elementary school in Xicheng has a very small area, and the other is on the large flat floor outside the South Fifth Ring Road. The couple is very busy at work, and their children have not been in charge for a day. They say that their parents have not been in charge of themselves for a day, and they have not gone to a good university. The child went to the middle school of his counterpart, and the entrance examination was more difficult, but he also passed the high school. Everything is the same as when his parents were young, so the parents still didn’t bother too much and just asked the teacher for help. In the third year of high school, the teacher began to look for parents frequently, saying that they could not keep up, but there was no way, and the situation was still the same as the child’s parents back then. The child’s mother said she was also told by the teacher that she could not keep up in the third year of high school, but she was admitted to the National People’s Congress. , So I think her son will be the same. The result was a little over 400 points in the exam, and it was possible to go to university, but it was far from ideal. At this time, the mother of the child began to collapse, looking for various ways, and finally said that he could go to a certain college preparatory class, first get in the car, and then take the exam. Now the child’s mother completely ignores the company, finds a special repetition school, rents a hotel suite on the side for a long time, and accompanies the child to study every day, and invites various one-on-one teachers to come to the door. The purpose is to save time and also ask a lot. Friends look for ways to see if there are any special tricks. The reason why I know such details is because I was one of the people he asked him to do. He said that the entire year of repetition would cost more than one million. I didn’t dare to ask the effect of repetition, but I can see that if the effect is good, I would use something else. Let’s talk about the second child. His dad is a classmate of my technical school, doing property management, and his mother is cleaning a certain unit. Last year, he scored 200 points in the high school entrance examination, and the technical school didn’t want it. When this child was in school, his parents didn’t care at all. He loved it. His father said I was in a technical school. How could my son go to college and why did he do that? In the future, it would be good to go to a technical school to work for others. But now the technical school can’t go, and his parents are not in a hurry. They asked their neighbors to introduce them to an auto repair shop as apprentices. He said that he can support himself now. His family lives in a large courtyard near Gulou Street. After his grandparents passed away, he could leave a small six-square-meter house built by himself. It was enough for marriage. His parents were in that house. Married inside. I digressed and talked about two children, two pairs of parents, and they did exactly the same in the early days. But now one pair accepts fate, the other does not accept fate. To be honest, I think it’s boring if you don’t admit your fate. I don’t want to change my fate for more than ten years. It’s not a good guy who doesn’t admit my fate when things happen. If I accept my fate, after all, it was a small probability idea at the beginning. The result with a high probability is boring.

6 months ago

Let me talk about the conclusion first, because mothers take on more parenting responsibilities and prefer horizontal comparisons. In a typical Chinese-style family, the man assumes more of the responsibility of making money, and the corresponding work takes up more time. Correspondingly, women have more family responsibilities. Therefore, parent meetings and parent groups are mainly women’s participation (the man also participates, but the sense of substitution is not strong, and the work is mainly considered). In addition, women are more sensitive to parent-child relationships, and the bond between parent-child relationships is stronger, making women more willing to consider all aspects of their children. In addition, women prefer horizontal comparisons than men, and men may also compare them, but they don’t say anything about it, but women tend to express them and hope to smooth the gap. Two main reasons make women more prone to anxiety. In other words, it is easier to express this anxiety. When facing this kind of anxiety, men usually think about making more money and providing sufficient ammunition to train their children, while women usually consider specific measures, such as reporting classes, attending classes, group discussions, etc.

6 months ago

As a dad, I feel the deep prejudice on this issue, and my mother is more likely to fall into “chicken baby anxiety”? Feelings, our fathers are all used as decorations? The anxiety of the chicken baby is not because the father does not participate, but who has more time. If the mothers are busy and the father is idle, then it must be the responsibility of the father. In our family, the child’s mother is also responsible for this. It’s because of the special nature of my job and I am often away from home, so in order to ensure continuity, such as the continuity of my daughter’s English learning, her mother is of course the main responsibility, but if I’m at home If so, then two people should accompany the children in the study group. The growth and company of a child cannot be separated from the mother and the father. Chicken baby anxiety is not a matter for the mother alone. The majority of male compatriots must also participate in the children’s education!

6 months ago

Men and women are very different. I knew this since I had a husband. Often I was so angry that I stayed up all night, and thoughts rushed through my mind. My husband lay down for 5 minutes and fell asleep… Ever since I got Qibao, I know that men and women are very different. The girl from another family is well-behaved, and my family’s Qibao goes to the house to reveal the tile! Since my husband brought a baby, I know that men and women are very different. We never know what will happen to the father with the baby. Other children in the playground have built a fort, Qi Bao wants to go in, but other children are not allowed, saying it belongs to them! I said to Qi Bao, “Then we don’t go in, come here to play.” My husband “What? The other baby’s fortress doesn’t let my baby in? Then I will give him something that no one else has!”

6 months ago

Pure discussion, the following points may all be wrong. First, the observer is biased. After all, in most domestic families, the proportion of women’s time investment in childcare is still relatively large. Then, just like the “higher accident rate of male drivers” statistics on the Internet, the observation angle is different, and it is easy to draw one-sided conclusions. Second, women are relatively susceptible, easily infected by anxiety, and easily trapped by comparison emotions related to security. Of course, there are also a lot of emotional weaknesses in men, and their expressions are different. Third, one of the root causes of the chicken baby phenomenon is the work results of the trillions of professional teams in the leek industry. Research the customer thoroughly. It is difficult not to accept the guilt of the superior and not to be coerced. For example, there is not much difference between a lot of confused car parents who are in trouble, and people who are gambling on weight loss with health care products. I often fight the toothpicks in the comment section, believe I’m right. Finally, say something serious. Anyone who is unwilling to read and study, unwilling to think independently, unwilling to ask more why? Doing things emotionally is easy to be infected, as long as “I don’t think you want to think” and don’t know to respect the opinions and suggestions in the scientific profession, no matter what field, if you are deceived, you will never line up and go directly to VIP fast track. There are such relatives by your side. You don’t have to ask anything else. Look at her all-day health care product, weight loss medicine, bird’s nest fitness number, facelift, and jade bracelets and amulet… You know what a “big customer” is. Swipe card to install chicken baby method, understand?

6 months ago

From a cognitive perspective, this is a typical absolute thinking. //First talk about absolute thinking, that is, from the moment to the goal, there is only one choice. Such as being a billionaire. That is the business school of the best university, or majoring in computer science, entering a large financial institution, or entering a large company, and quickly becoming an executive, quickly acquiring shares, and quickly becoming wealthy. As long as one step is wrong, life will fail completely. Absolute thinking has a lot of conjectures and false perceptions. The analysis and control of the situation are limited, which is a typical cognitive model of many anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Their lives are often miserable. While doing things, it seems perfect, in fact, what a shit. If I want to make chicken soup, I must have chicken, a pot, water, and fire…….. To make a pot of chicken soup requires many elements. If there is no pot? You can buy it, you can borrow it (they used to borrow a lot of pots in poor days), and you can also find a pot back from the Back Pot. Water can be tap water, mineral water, sparkling water, or special water from a certain place. Making chicken soup can be very simple or very demanding. But it has simple possibilities and practical examples. However, complicated surgical operations, satellite launches, etc., require strict procedures. But in order to ensure the success of the final goal, there are alternatives behind each process to ensure that the final goal is completed. Things have their roots and ends, and things have an end. Knowing the order, it’s close to the point. This is what the university says. I don’t know if those mothers whose baby chickens are anxious have ever gone to college. In reality, I have come into contact with the mothers of these chicken babies. They have academic qualifications, but basically they have no normal education. That is, as human beings, as human beings, they have hardly enjoyed the pleasure of human beings. The joy of picking the chrysanthemum and the east fence is almost never. Some of them can pick chrysanthemums under the fence today, and the ancients are sincere. Click, the photo of the circle of friends is posted. There is almost no joy in the bedclothes. If you indulge in the pleasures of the bed all day long, will you still have a baby? Ha ha. There is no fun in creative work. If composing, writing, and scientific research can give them great fun, will they still be a baby? For major management, there is no fun in beating Fang Qiu, at most it is the noisy and relaxed feeling of shouting five and six to the children. There is not even the joy of mouth and stomach, the joy of mahjong, or the joy of love. Such a group of unhappy women, without a baby, are still unhappy. Their names are—not happy, their men’s names are—no brains. So, why are mothers more likely to fall into baby-chicken anxiety? Because they are anxious people, they are unhappy people. Their perverted self-esteem can only get a little satisfaction in the comparison. They are not afraid of hardship, but they are afraid of looking harder than others. As for why there are them? I think the historical trains are driving too fast. When the acceleration is high, the non-inertial force will increase, and some of the passengers’ heads will be squashed, causing injuries. May the society stop changing motions.

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