I often hear people say that the vision of parents determines the vision of children. Is this true? So how do parents of elite families affect their children, and that children sitting in the same classroom may have a different life? If it is true So how can we escape the circle of parents and go up? Almighty knowing, please give me the answer~

It determines the child’s current vision, but not the child’s future vision. Although my parents are college students, they only concentrate on their own research fields. They do scientific research in research institutes in third-tier small cities. Whenever they have time, they watch TV, read books, play mahjong, and play poker. I have no vision since I was a child. Apart from step-by-step learning, I have time to play football, watch cartoons, play Transformers, watch Ultraman, and play Cassidy Learning Machine. The understanding of the outside world is mainly based on CCTV 4 and reference news-at that time, there were old international wars and live broadcasts of the Iraq War. They had no knowledge of the cruelty of the war. They just liked aircraft, tanks, cannons and missiles. Reference news is often published in comics. When I was in elementary school, a parent, colleague, uncle, and his family moved to Shanghai and bought a house in order to get the Shanghai Lanyin account. I couldn’t understand at that time: What’s so good about Shanghai Hukou? It’s worth traveling so far away for the whole family. I still need a bank loan to buy a house for Hukou? When I was in junior high school, the father of a classmate was the leader of the joint logistics department, basically every year. Travel to various countries. I also can’t understand at all, why is it tossing about taking the train and the plane? How can it be fun to play game consoles? In high school, a classmate grandfather didn’t know the leader. He often told us what brand he was wearing. Unfortunately at that time, Nike and Adidas were the upper limit of my cognition, and I didn’t understand at all. What is he saying. I still think the so-called brand-name clothes and shoes are so ugly, running and playing football are not good, what is there to say? I basically never went out of the yard where I lived when I was a child, and I felt like I was in a different world when I went to the next area. The whole family did not know anything after traveling several times. I only knew how to play cards, read books and chat. You have to look at photos after you grow up where you have been and what you have seen. Later, I went to university in Beijing, exchanged in the United States, studied in France, worked in Shanghai, traveled to many countries, listened to high-level leaders to arrange work, and communicated with business executives. It was “opened up my horizons”, and finally I felt that my experience was different. Local customs and understanding the vast real world are more fun than playing games. However, the methods of solving problems, the perspective of looking at things, and the ability to analyze the essence of things are mainly derived from the learning and reading of orthodox knowledge. It has nothing to do with the so-called “vision”. The so-called “view” is just playing around. Instead, “doing the questions” gave me the opportunity to broaden my horizons. Only by relying on one’s own ability to step into the platform can truly provide a quality “vision”. Without sufficient knowledge and thinking ability, the so-called “opening up horizons” is nothing more than monkey watching the moon and grandma Liu entering the Grand View Garden, purely making fun of it, and there is no essential difference between playing football, games and soap operas. For elementary school students, the effect of listening to academician lectures is not much better than reading popular science books. Throwing a dry duck on the big stage and high platform of the Olympic swimming finals will still not know how to swim. Throwing Bolt in the preliminary round of a school sports meet will still break the record with a blockbuster. Later, I learned that the daughter of the uncle (about the same age as me) who went to Shanghai to buy a house and settled in the elementary school was admitted to a junior college and was engaged in an ordinary job without further expanding her horizons. Now I know some students, thanks to the Internet, they have opened up a lot of false “views”, they have begun to shout “involved” and “solidified”, have given up their efforts and are unwilling to see the real world.


By zhiwo

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6 months ago

The children of the poor are not necessarily poor when they grow up. Stupid children are basically stupid when they grow up. Children always have infinite possibilities, both good and bad. Only the parent of a fool will definitely pull the child and force the child to be a fool to flee without being able to escape. My son is 13 years old and my daughter is 6 years old. I really understand this deeply. The children really have a hunger for knowledge and culture, such as music, painting, costumes, dancing, etc. All sorts of things, this hunger for knowledge, beauty, and higher levels of happiness is often caught off guard. How many idiot parents reprimanded for singing, dancing, painting, dressing, and dressing, and messing around without talent? How many parents use utilitarianism to hide their incompetence. And I can only say sorry. Dad is a straw bag and can’t guide you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I will dream that my child’s heart is dry and the soul is crying, and the poverty of spiritual food is the sin of the parents.

6 months ago

I think it will have a very big impact, especially before the age of ten, the concepts and habits that your parents convey to you are very important. My parents sell pork at the farmer’s market, and my grandfather is a pig killer. My aunts and uncles (relatives on my mother’s side), grandparents and aunts (relatives on my father’s side) also sell pork at the farmers’ markets or supermarkets. pork. I am a baby who grew up in a meat market, I love to catch flies on pork in summer, and play with sausages in winter… My parents are both junior high school cultures, and I have been selling meat all my life. Friends who I meet It’s all at this level… But my mother, because she saw an aunt who buys meat (college culture, car picks up when she travels), she tells me that “Bao works hard to study and knowledge can change the class” and also because she heard about buying meat My aunt said that there are many books in the district library and the environment is very good, and after soliciting my opinion, she went out of business for one day and took me to the district library to apply for a card, encouraging me to read more. I also insist on reading “From the Childhood to Dr. Yale” in the newspaper every day to learn how to better nurture children. Even if there is no money at home, I will firmly let me buy every book I want to read in every issue. My mother will tell me more about what she has learned from her customers and her insights, and cultivated my honesty and down-to-earth quality. In short, although my mother looks no different from other women in the market, she has always carried the lofty belief in “I want to train my girl to be a person who contributes to society” and has been working hard. Now I am in the top 2 universities in China. My cousins, brothers, cousins, and friends in the meat market are basically technical secondary schools, and tertiary schools are rare. . . I think a large part of the reason why I can be different from them is that when I was a child, the car that my mother drew me was picked up and sent to me by the beautiful state of the aunt who had a very good life on her own diploma, and how my mother consciously cultivated me. good quality. (Additionally, my mother never told me that you want to get the first place in the exam. What do you want to do, she just shared with me a lot of stories about her customers, such as who and who are very good and have a good life and quality, and who and who did not read that much. I got married very early after reading the book, and brought my baby to buy meat. She only bought a very small amount of meat and the like… That is, she would sum up something from the people she met when selling meat and pass it on to me. My mother always tells me that happiness is more important~ and buying books is all my own request. Then I read in the comments I saw someone said IQ, I think my IQ enlightenment is also my mother’s doing well! Three years old (? Probably) when my family was poor and had no toys, my mother gave me a bunch of change, one cent and one two five yuan, etc., and asked me to collect two yuan, one yuan, seven, twelve yuan and so on. It feels like this It was one of the important reasons why I was good at math. Hahaha. At that time, my mother always went home and stayed with me after closing the stall. The other women in the meat market would meet to play mahjong together. When they played mahjong , Their children are at the mahjong table or they give money to the children to let them play casually. Some people have persuaded my mother to play with them and play mahjong for fear that my mother will be lonely at home every day…

6 months ago

The answer is yes. I have a point of view: if a person does not see more possibilities in life through books or other channels, and has a firm will and execution power to pursue, then he will most likely live as someone of his elders. Look like. Because being what your parents want you to do, finding a job your parents want you to find, taking the path your parents want you to go, and marrying someone your parents want you to marry is the safest way. Although there will be some worries and distress on this road, compared to the unknown fear brought about by independent choice, we are still familiar with these pains. Maybe you can’t believe that my mother’s original expectation for my future is to work in the copper mine of a distant relative. If you can take a teacher qualification certificate and find a school to be a teacher, it will be a “good job”. If you can be admitted as a civil servant, whether it’s in the county or in any ravine, then the ancestral tomb will be smoked. what? Do you want to make more money? Let me tell you, you are still young now, and you have never experienced it. It’s not so easy to make money. It’s not bad that you can make two or three thousand yuan. what? Want to go outside and work hard? You just imagine it is too good, how easy it is to go outside to work hard, without the help of relatives and friends, you can’t hang around outside. What? Do you still want to be a celebrity and a writer? The writers of other people came from the scholarly family. Our ancestors did not have any literary writers. We have no such fate. I have time to do more questions and prepare for a “teacher qualification certificate” is better than anything else. Fortunately, I taught myself a lot of public classes at university, read a lot of books, and made some small achievements. I know that there are still many things in this world that are worth pursuing. So even if I didn’t know anything about it, after graduation, I still resolutely rejected the family’s arrangement and came to Shenzhen. Facts have proved that a person’s potential is actually much greater than his parents thought. I earned the money that I could earn in my hometown for five or ten years in one year, and I can live very well in this city without relying on relatives. I also have the dream of becoming a writer. I am also taking steps one step at a time. Go forward with footprints. All this actually exceeded my mother’s imagination of my future, and also exceeded my imagination of my own future before the age of 20. And most of my classmates and friends before me? Many of them chose to follow the arrangements at home and walked the way their parents thought was “good”, but they were actually not doing well. Of course, this is not to say that it is not necessarily bad to follow the arrangements at home. It’s just that the vision of most parents themselves is particularly limited. If a child does not see the larger world through books or other channels, and has the courage to come out and touch it, then he will most likely live like one of his elders. The impact of parents’ vision on the future of their children is really great.

6 months ago

On most occasions, yes. (Excluding a very small number of wizards with genetic mutations) Many people think that they are better than their parents, but it’s wrong. We are only eating the dividends of the times. The vision of the parents can really determine the vision of the child. For example, my parents are low-level workers. Although I am sitting in the office, I am essentially low-level employees. There is no difference. They never thought about doing business, nor did I think about it. They never thought about going abroad, nor did I. They never thought about practicing a skill. Although I thought about it, none of them persisted. My parents never thought about investing, they always thought about saving and saving money, and I was exactly the same. You asked me to invest, sorry, I don’t know how to invest You asked me to do business, sorry, I really don’t know how to do business. You asked me to exercise my skills. I don’t know where there is good teaching, where I can get in touch with the best people, and what is the most efficient way to learn. However, I know how to work for others, and my parents are templates. I know how to save money and save money. My parents are templates. It seems that I am much better than my parents, understand foreign languages, and have a lot of hobbies, but that’s just because I was born in a better time. There is no change in essence, and the thinking mode is still the bottom people. For some of my classmates, my parents are in business. He never thought of working for others. Even if the business is running out of business, he still thinks about how to start again-he doesn’t know how to work, because his parents haven’t taught him how to work, he only knows how to do business, because his parents are templates.

6 months ago

My mother is an ordinary rural woman in the fifth grade of elementary school. I always think her vision is very broad. When I was very young, and I hadn’t gone to kindergarten, she told me and my sister a story, and it is still fresh in my memory: One day a flood came out and the village was completely flooded, and the landlords and farmers climbed to the big trees to avoid the water. The landlord brought gold, and the peasants brought steamed buns. The water has not returned for three days, and the landlord wants to exchange gold for steamed buns. My mother asked us, if we are the farmer, can we change it? My sister said no to change. I said change. My mother started to speak with a strong heart (really with a long heart) and told me that you can’t be greedy for a moment, but you have to look far, and your life is gone. What’s the use of asking for gold? There are too many such stories. My mother also invented many things. For example, when the village was just growing garlic, it was covered with plastic film, and the roller was tired and slow. She was the first to “invent” the lever. In the following ten years, the neighboring villages have done the same; For example, in the past few years, every family eliminated a lot of small clay pots, and my mother transformed them into large stoves. Then this kind of large stoves became popular in the village… Most importantly, my mom and dad are very enlightened. It’s totally unlike most of the “pedantic” conservative people in the village. A simple example, this year when my sister gets married, the sloppy etiquette and customs can be avoided, and it is generous, saving the man a lot of things. They never urged my marriage, as long as I had a good life. I think horizons can be directly proportional to academic qualifications, but not absolute. My sister and I went from the elementary school in the village, to the junior high school in the township, to the county No. 1 middle school, to the university, to the postgraduate school. We are really grateful to my mother. Can parents’ vision determine their children’s future? To say “decision” is too exaggerated, but it does have too much influence. Grateful.

6 months ago

Many people say that my mother is smart, and it doesn’t have much to do with vision. It may be that the example I cited above highlights her “wisdom” too much, which is a huge contrast to the level of elementary school education. My mother still has many common characteristics among rural women. For example, she loves to get together to make irresponsible remarks, and she often becomes a spreader of “rumors”~ just say something that highlights her vision. There is no strong tradition of re-learning in the village, and it is even more useless to study, especially for girls (I heard my mother said that when my sister was born, my dad also said: This girl has thick arms and legs. Farming can contribute a lot)… When I was young, my family was really poor, and there were not many rich households in the whole village in the Sanshi area. But my mother insisted on letting us go to school and always supported us in school. It is also considered to be upright, the grades are not bad, and finally my dad’s old feudal thinking is reversed. In fact, this cannot be absolutely said that my mother “has vision”, maybe for her, especially for my dad, the two brothers and sisters are highly educated so that they will have face in the village! A friend said that horizons may not be directly proportional to academic qualifications, but may be more related to living environment. My family is very open-minded. Although my parents are not well-educated, they are sensible (this should be regarded as an insight) and then affect their children. The children have received a much better education than them, so the so-called “view” may be broader. Of course, parents with high education and good family resources have a much higher chance of success for children born in such a family than children born in the countryside, even if their parents are very visionary. As the old saying goes: “You look older when you are three, and you look older when you are seven.” Before the age of seven, parents are the ones who accompany the most. Parents have vision, which undoubtedly has a great influence on the formation of children’s three views.

6 months ago

I can’t bear to answer this question. The question asks about the influence and decision of the parent’s vision on the child’s vision. In fact, how is the role of parents to their children just such a trivial matter of [eyes]! ? The current answer is basically an optimistic answer. Basically the answer of the survivors. It was basically the liberal and optimistic attitude of the petty bourgeoisie in France before World War II on whether Germany would mobilize troops. Take a look at the hottest hot spot on Zhihu, Yuzhang College. Who do you think is the one who really built that kind of magic cave? Do you think parents don’t know what the children suffer in it? Saying that the child may have a problem, I also know that a girl wanted to take a postgraduate entrance examination, but was sent to a psychiatric department by her parents to see if she was neurotic. Of course it was blasted out by the doctor. Parents have an influence on their children’s horizons, obviously they are the ones who can decide the life and death of their children. Those irresponsible parents must feel at ease after reading some easy and pleasant answers to this question.

6 months ago

Not necessarily, my parents don’t have high vision. Later, I relied on reading, reading people, and walking, meeting many noble people, and adding my own practice. The knowledge has far surpassed my parents. And they are also influenced by me to change for the better. I want to say that in this era, especially in the era of the Internet, it is too easy for you to gain knowledge. Of course, the more important thing is to combine personal experience, knowledge and action, and parental insights. Maybe you can surpass it in a few years. People are the product of the environment, not just the product of their parents. It is not only a product of society, but also a product of the universe. It is normal for culture to feed back in this era. Of course parents will affect your character. However, any outstanding person can change his own destiny trajectory by transcending the limitations of his family. In fact, you can quickly distance yourself from your parents when you learn many subjects on the Internet, even if it is a NetEase open class. As Nietzsche said, overcome this era from yourself. Overcoming this era is a great man, but he can still work hard without seeking such big ambitions and overcoming his own family. You are weaker than your parents, how do you protect them. Only by surpassing them can you truly protect them. Knowledge is the best to transcend, followed by knowledge.

6 months ago

My father graduated from university in a special year and worked as a grassroots civil servant in the countryside and county towns of Shaanxi for almost 10 years. My grandfather can be regarded as a fairly well-known scholar of the year. Although the conditions are also very poor, he is always much better than the countryside and county towns (in that era, many places in the countryside of Shaanxi may not have running water). My father worked as a grassroots civil servant in the countryside and still insisted on studying and studying. Later, I finally returned to the city and came into contact with computer programming and management by chance. My father first studied at Beida Jade Bird in Xi’an in 2000. At that time, I was riding a broken bicycle to the Chengxi Passenger Terminal to have a class. Later, he insisted on finishing the advanced degree of management in Xi’an Jiaotong University. My father has been in the county seat of Shaanxi for more than 10 years, but he was able to read some original computer, management English textbooks and newspapers by self-study. Another thing I’m afraid is that my father insisted that I read a certain iron one that at least seemed to be fully developed at the time, instead of a school that seemed to be determined by examination results, but was very close to home (there is no meaning to black a certain industrial university. , Please pay attention to my attributive, it seems. Although the conclusion is wrong, but the idea is really right). I used to have a stubborn character when I was in junior high school. At that time, he was able to achieve good results with a little cleverness. Although his temperament was stubborn, he was always inexplicably at the top of his grade in the exam. But many teachers also think that my child will go astray sooner or later because of his cleverness. At that time, I was scolded by a substitute mathematics teacher in class, saying that I would definitely shame my parents in the future; I didn’t know where the courage came from. I stood up and said that I could not test your maths because of your problems. It’s too simple. It doesn’t meet my IQ. One day I can come back to show you some colors. Later, as expected, I got a perfect score in mathematics during the college entrance examination. Perhaps the struggle and diligence of my parents is really beyond doubt in my heart.

6 months ago

Generally speaking, parents have a great influence. At least when a person’s basic personality and habits are formed, they have a great influence, and these invisibly affect the foundation of the child’s future. So now when it comes to education, don’t even think about pushing your children to school. Instead, it’s family education. Common ones, such as tiger father and tiger mother style, friends who are already parents around, send children aimlessly to many interest training courses, training for training, regardless of the purpose of training, and what kind of child is suitable for Training. There is also a doting style, with only nurturing thoughts, no teaching thoughts, and no rules. Some problems in children cannot be corrected in time, or even avoided. There are three things that don’t matter, leave it to the school, think you don’t know how to educate, or don’t know how to educate, and leave it to the cram school. And not enterprising at all. And resentful parents who think that children’s innate personality stereotypes, and that learning good and bad are also innate, and who work hard for their children. And there is nothing wrong with oneself, children cannot fall into solitism. The environment in which you live limits your horizons. You live in a family environment where your parents are self-respecting. You will find it hard to imagine what an enlightened family relationship is like in the future. The way parents get along, the way parents treat their children. The way you deal with relationship problems will only be the way your parents have educated you. You will not use the second way. Unless you encounter something that needs improvement in your adulthood, you will slowly change yourself and get rid of the influence of your parents. , But they are both eggs, and sometimes it still secretly affects your thinking. For example, the well-known documentary, 56up. 14 7-year-old children were tracked and photographed, once every 7 years, until they were 56 years old. The children of the poor are still poor, and the children of the elite are still elites. It seems to be the result of class consolidation. I think that besides the consolidation of resources, what is even more terrifying is a kind of ideological consolidation. Your dad is a business elite, you are eating a nutritious breakfast in the morning, you and your dad are chatting about the latest financial information, your mom is elegant and gentle, and you are talking about beauty and wearing experience, your dad is a senior professor at the university, and your mom is a returnee. Doctor, you communicate in multiple languages ​​every day. When you encounter misunderstandings of thinking, your parents will give you pointers. If your parents are drivers, migrant workers, small vendors, etc., who are struggling with food and clothing, you may not even have a handful of time to meet your parents every day. Even if you communicate, you can’t have a more in-depth communication. Parents value learning. Parents who don’t have an educational philosophy will only emphasize that you have to endure hardships to be a good person, or you have to study hard to study balabala. Parents with educational ideas will help their children find their learning weaknesses and analyze the problems. , Teach children how to learn, teach children to face failure, rather than care about the score of one or two points in this test, and then give a fat beating. When you get married, you will find it difficult for your spouse to understand why his family would say this, but the other party thinks that this is normal. Your children may ask the same question in a few decades. This is the gap in family influence. It is said that children should win at the starting line. In fact, the starting line is for parents. Everyone, for the sake of your next generation, work hard to enrich your minds and wallets. If you want to get rid of the debuff that your parents have on you, you can only do self-reflection and strong perseverance. But most people have difficulty even facing their own mistakes. If you want to get out of this circle, you need to reform yourself and add certain opportunities.

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