I am a female. I fell in love twice this year (it happens to be two times this year, the window period was quite long, and I haven’t been in love for more than two years), and both of them ended in almost three months.

I personally have a longing for love, including the people around me who are talking about love sweetly. I also expect me to have a stable and sweet intimacy. Therefore, I am very attentive and serious when interacting, and try not to make trouble. Only when I am very disappointed, I will express my grievances and sadness to the other party.

The state of getting along with boys is sweet and happy when we are offline, but when we are separated, I will obviously feel the other person’s indifference when chatting online (additional modification here: it is not obviously indifferent, just compared to offline Yiyi The sticky state of reluctance, the online seems much calmer), these two paragraphs were broken up within three months, and I am now in a state of extremely doubting myself.

I consulted with all the friends around me, and they all said that the problem was not with me. They all felt that my personality was very good and gentle, and I had a good appearance with a score of 6 or more. I didn’t know where the problem was.

Add a detailed story:

He usually works relatively idle and has little growth. He wants to change jobs but has never had the right opportunity. The pressure to find a job is relatively high. This is the background.

The only time I was upset during my time together was during my business trip. The business trip was a long time, and it took a weekend in the middle. He was a little sad when he heard the news. He even thought about flying to my business city (Xiamen) on weekends to walk around with me, but he had to cancel it because he had to work overtime on weekends. . It doesn’t matter if I think about it, just walk around with my colleagues. Until Friday, suddenly another colleague was also going to work in Xiamen next Monday, saying that he would fly here early on Saturday to take us to play together.

I told him the news, and he said sourly: Hey, Dafei went to play with him, I can’t do it. Then it seemed that from that moment on, he was a little unhappy, and he ignored me for the next two days. It was often I was here to share the experience on the way happily, and he hardly responded. I couldn’t bear it anymore on Sunday nights. I made a voice call and used it-I didn’t answer it, I just made the call-just turned it off. It looked like cold and violent. I left a message “Don’t be cold and violent. If you have something to say, you can talk to it if you don’t want to talk. I said, then we will separate”. The next day he seemed to realize the seriousness of the matter and slowly got better. I also flew back from Xiamen that night and went straight to his house to have a face-to-face conversation to untie the knot. He explained to me at the time that he wanted to be alone and didn’t want to deal with anyone, and I didn’t want to answer my phone, because the work was not smooth and the pressure was high.

I don’t know if this is the real reason, until now I don’t know what I did wrong here, he will be cold and violent to me.

zhiwo

By zhiwo

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
11 Comments
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
helpmekim
6 months ago

Want to hear the truth? The truth is often cruel. Don’t ask your so-called girlfriends, don’t ask your friends of the opposite sex online or in reality, because their starting point is always from your point of view. The consequence is that you have no responsibility at all, and you don’t know why. Even if there is no direction to work hard, your girlfriend always says, “If it doesn’t work, change one. Your friend of the opposite sex will say that he doesn’t care about you, you are not wrong.” Let me tell you now, the main reason is the fault of the boys, the secondary reason is your fault, but it is because of your behavior that led to the breakup, so the main reason for the breakup is you. Let me talk about the main reason first: boys have no room for improvement, and they are afraid of changing jobs. Such pressure will make him anxious. Once people are anxious, they will easily become moody. This is just like when you come to a period. A little bit of things will go bad. Thinking, even irritable and suspicious. This is the main reason for the existence of boys themselves. Secondary reason: You are on a business trip in his situation. Although he is a little bit sad, it is okay. After all, work is needed, but have you ever thought about it. You said that it’s good to go shopping in Xiamen with your colleagues. Will provoke him, and then there will be a colleague who deliberately fly over to accompany you early. Isn’t this looking for trouble? Reason 1: I guess this colleague may be a boy. Reason 2: When you are in love, you want to be the only ones in your life, and you will always accompany you wherever you go. Do you understand this sense of gap when someone can accompany you instead of yourself? Just like your boyfriend’s co-driver has always been reserved for you. Suddenly one day you find a female colleague sits on it and walks away chatting and laughing with your boyfriend, even though you know that he is just sending him away. , But would you really mind it? Reason 3, boys’ cold violence is actually the same as girls’ cold violence, and even girls’ cold violence is more difficult to coax, and boys only need to be petty. And how did you do it? You leave a message “Don’t be cold and violent. If you have something to say, you can tell me if you don’t want to talk, then we will separate”. This sentence is to completely hurt him and irritate him. Imagine if you were jealous, but you just want your boyfriend to take a stand and coax yourself. Suddenly your boyfriend says to you, “Don’t do this, say something well, and break up if you don’t want to be together.” What is the reaction? Can’t run away on the spot? Reason 4. Although you said at the beginning that you want to fall in love well, but from your words, I see more indifference. Yes, it is indifference to feelings. You have not achieved the safety that your partner should be. Feeling, you don’t even care what the other person thinks, (or maybe you didn’t even think about it) you don’t care about your business trip and having fun with colleagues, your boyfriend’s extremely lack of security. You don’t care, even if you know your boyfriend is angry, you can still share funny things happily, as if your boyfriend doesn’t exist. You don’t care if your boyfriend is sad, just say “break up if you don’t want to be together” as you like. You never feel that you are at fault, as if your boyfriend is angry only because of him? stingy? Still making trouble unreasonably? Sometimes the truth is really hurtful, such as when I say this to you. But if you think about it in another way, suppose your work is not going well and you are very anxious, but your boyfriend is out on a business trip with colleagues and is very happy. Can you be happy? When you are jealous and unhappy, and deliberately hanging him, he will give you a sentence, “break up if you don’t want to be together, how do you feel?” Summary: Don’t really think that you’re pretty when others say you’re pretty, don’t think that your gentleness is okay when others say that you’re nice and gentle, you can compliment your appearance, and your gentle personality is entirely what you want to leave others behind. impression. May I ask who is not a good baby in front of his parents, barbecue beer KTV outside? Whenever you don’t understand, you can think from another perspective. What would you do if your identities were exchanged?

heloword
6 months ago

Maybe you don’t want to admit that every time you are in love, you don’t talk about it for a long time. It’s less than three months. There must be a reason for yourself. In this way, some girls will definitely be wronged: it’s all the other party’s fault! So, why do you meet a scumbag every time? Why are you attracted to each other with a scumbag? Okay, back to the topic, but based on the matter described in your topic, I think you are indeed wrong. Maybe you go out to play with your colleagues, you are open and upright, you are wronged by the other party, but in this case, it is normal for him to have that kind of unhappy reaction, but you What I did, not only did not refuse the invitation of colleagues, but also did not coax her boyfriend well. On the contrary [share with him interesting things in the trip], isn’t this instigating the other person’s emotions? Think about it in another way. Your boyfriend is traveling with a female colleague. You express that you are angry. The other party did not change the plan or coax you. Instead, he went out as planned without thinking about the feelings, and sent you a small message during the trip. Video, post photos, what’s your mood? Can you still talk to him? From this trivial matter, you can see that most of your emotional intelligence is problematic. In addition, the way you deal with conflicts is also wrong. It makes the other person angry. People want to calm down for a few days. In fact, they don’t quarrel with you. Many boys deal with problems indifferently. This method is not recommended. When he made a mistake, but in fact it was far from breaking up. What did you do in the end? I just ran over and asked the other person “Do you want to break up?” I don’t think he wanted to break up at first, but you gave him the wrong guidance. Asked directly, “If you don’t want to talk, you can tell me, we will break up”? How lethal is your Pinpin sentence? If you have a conflict with your boyfriend, you are arguing and want to wait for him to coax you, but finally you waited for his phone call, but the other party didn’t apologize or coax you. Instead, he said “If you don’t want to talk, let’s break up.” In fact, he just didn’t talk to you for a day or two, and didn’t expect to break up. Maybe just need to be quiet. Boys are different from girls. They encounter problems, difficulties, and a bad mood. They often want to bury themselves like an ostrich. Get up and digest slowly, while girls need to vent and comfort. But you think of breaking up directly, which means that when you encounter problems and contradictions in your thoughts, both parties cannot calm down and think. Quarreling and breaking up are the only solutions. I have emphasized in my answer before that if you encounter a problem, you should not lead the wrong way, but lead the way forward. Many girls are used to negative guidance when they fall in love. For example: “Do you want to break up? Do you not love me anymore? If you want to break up, you can tell me directly, I will not pester you.” Many times, the other party did not express that he wanted to break up, but you think he might I had the idea of ​​breaking up a long time ago, so you simply said it for him, but in fact you are guiding him to think about breaking up. And these words have great negative energy, which will lead the other person to become more and more suspicious: Is he really not loving you? Is the relationship between two people really coming to the step of breaking up? At the same time, you also expose yourself The panic about breaking up, because if you really want to break up, you won’t give the other party the initiative of “whether or not to break up”. Therefore, it is necessary to use positive implants instead of negative guidance. For example, if the other party comes to pick you up when you are off night shift, you can tell him: “My dear, it’s so late, you still come to pick me up from get off work, you are so kind to me!” The other party took the initiative to cook and did you. For your favorite dishes, you can say to him: “Wow, that’s amazing! Thank you for your dear meal! You love me so much!” When you transform whether you don’t love me into you love me too much, right? Keep repeating, keep implanting, the result is completely different!

helpyme
6 months ago

Don’t trust the comfort of your friends. These words have no reference to your choice of a spouse. I consulted with all the friends around me, and they all said that the problem was not with me, and they all felt that my personality was very good and gentle, and I had a good appearance with a score of 6 or more. After listening to your friends, are you wondering what the problem is? From your description, you can see that there is no problem in your daily relationship, and the problem lies in the chat communication. The state of getting along with boys is sweet and happy when we are together offline, but when we are separated, I will obviously feel the other person’s indifference when chatting online. Among the girls who came to me for emotional counseling, nine out of ten girls who said that they felt cold on WeChat chats were too high in emotional concentration and constantly asking for emotional value. The WeChat chat they are looking forward to is as follows: Girlfriend: A colleague specially flew over on Saturday to take us to play together. Boyfriend: Is this colleague a boy or a girl? Girlfriend: It’s a boy. Boyfriend: My baby goes out to play with other boys, I will be jealous, no, baby you wait for me, I will fly over to accompany you now. Or something like this: Girlfriend: I’m taking a walk with my colleagues in Xiamen University, so I miss my time at school. Boyfriend: I regret not being able to go there to accompany the baby this time. Next time we must go for a walk to Xiamen University and have a sweet campus love (an idiot face). Girlfriend: We arrived at Gulangyu Island. We visited the “Sea World” on Gulangyu Island. We saw all kinds of underwater creatures, including sharks, turtles, seahorses… Boyfriend: It would be great if I was there too, so beautiful The scenery, I can’t watch it with my baby, so heartbroken (crying face). Is this the sweet love you want? The video of Miss Psychology was played 3041, but the reality is like this: Girlfriend: A colleague on Saturday specially flew over to take us to play together. Boyfriend: Is this colleague a boy or a girl? Girlfriend: It’s a boy. Boyfriend: Tsk, Dafei went to play with me, I can’t do it. Like this: Girlfriend: I’m taking a walk with my colleagues in Xiamen University now, so I miss my time at school. Boyfriend: Emoji package. Girlfriend: We arrived at Gulangyu Island. We visited the “Sea World” on Gulangyu Island and saw various underwater creatures, including sharks, turtles, sea horses… Boyfriend: Emoji package because you didn’t put it When your chat history is released, I can only hide it. In fact, all of your chat content is constantly asking for emotional value, and boys are in a state of “want to change jobs but have never been suitable”, and may not have so much energy to provide you with emotional value. The boyfriend encounters difficulties at work. A considerate girlfriend will try not to block the other party, and will even enlighten her boyfriend and provide her boyfriend with emotional value. If you need my further analysis, you can send me your chat records. Good luck.

sina156
6 months ago

People who have been in love for a short time generally don’t learn to separate. Because I didn’t learn to separate, I was eager to find someone to get out of the singles when I was single, but I found an unsuitable partner, exposed all kinds of problems before talking about it, and broke up unhappy. Because I didn’t learn to separate, when I first fell in love, I tried to date and chat when I let go. As a result, I didn’t talk about it for a long time, and I couldn’t find a new place to date. Because I didn’t learn to separate, I was worried about gains and losses when the other party did not reply to his information in time, and when the other party was in contact with other opposite sexes, he was sensitive and anxious. As a result, the other party treated you carefully because of the mentality. It was tiring to get along with you for a long time. Everything went wrong. Love sticks together when you need it, and separates when you don’t need it. Separation requires you to have a long-term vision. It’s a long time to come, and you still have a lot of weekends and holidays to go awkward. Why do you rush to stay up late? Separation requires you to have personal space. There are many more important things to deal with, and you have no time to consider whether the other party has returned your information. Separation requires your tolerance and acceptance. Since you have chosen him, don’t complain that he has too many friends of the opposite sex. As long as there is no transgression, don’t be jealous, give him space. Separation requires patience. Make sure to be with one person, like + fit is indispensable. Without one of them, there may be problems with getting along in the future. If you feel that you have talked about each relationship for a short time, think about whether you have confirmed the relationship with him when you don’t know him enough, and then after a period of time you find that he is not what you imagined, or something that you can’t tolerate. Disadvantages. If you have been in a relationship every time you are in love, think about whether you are keeping your cell phone in the early days of love, for fear that you haven’t seen him reply to your message. Does it mean that everything else except class and appointments is eliminated every day? If you talk about each other for a long time every time you fall in love, think about whether your thinking is not optimistic enough, whether your nerves are not big enough, and you will be jealous of him whenever you have something. If you talk for a short time every time, think about whether you can’t resist loneliness and loneliness, and find someone who doesn’t feel rushed out. If so, then the reason is out.

yahoo898
6 months ago

That’s because you haven’t grown up in every relationship! 1. The love pattern leads to love results. If you always talk about your love in one way, and you never feel that there is a problem with your love pattern, then your love will never last forever. Regarding breaking up, most people’s first reaction is the fault of the other party, the fault of the predecessor, and they are not at fault, and they will not realize that they are at fault. Do not reflect on yourself. Then I was sad for a while and started the next repetitive relationship. But the real fact is, if you have no problem, why did the other party break up with you? In fact, those who feel that they have no problems have very big problems. Many of your relationships have not lasted for a long time, so at this time, you should reflect on your way of getting along. Is there a problem with your love pattern? Is there a place in yourself that makes the other person feel disgusted? 2. They do not have the ability to get along for a long time. Some people have been in love for many years and are still very affectionate. But some people were forced to break up within three months. What is the concept of three months, basically just past the fresh period. Men choose to break up with you after the freshness period. So, this proves that you do not have the ability to get along for a long time. The so-called long-term ability to get along means that a man feels uncomfortable with you. Do you always think more about yourself or the other side? Including emotional processing skills, communication skills and so on. You might say, oops, managing relationships is so difficult, so troublesome. But I want to say that feelings need to be managed, and pain means growth. If you don’t change and improve yourself, you will never grow, and your relationship will never get better.

leexin
6 months ago

A girl who consulted me for a long time the other day said: “If the compound is successful, I will invite you to dinner!” My first reaction was not happiness, but nervousness. I immediately replied: “Thank you first! But your sister-in-law may not Will agree! “There is a magical place in love. You must always have the other person in your mind. When something happens, your first reaction may be: “What will Ta think? Will Ta agree?” I I have been married to my lover for more than ten years, and I know each other well, and I feel at ease with the other half. But this kind of mentality for the sake of the other party has never been relaxed. My lover has several girlfriends, who often eat and go shopping together, but there is not a single girlfriend. Whenever she saw a male friend, she would not be alone with them, and would greet me beforehand. You can meet at most one meal, and you will come back after you finish your meal. The subject said that a colleague flew to Xiamen to spend the weekend with you. I don’t think it will be easy for most boyfriends. You said that you have good conditions, a gentle personality, and good-looking, but your own conditions are only the prerequisite for a relationship. Maintaining a relationship depends on intimacy skills and a sense of security. How does the sense of security come from: 1. You care about him and care about him; 2. Repel the third party. If you already have a stable relationship partner, please reject any social behavior that makes your partner feel unsafe. Even if there is compelling social interaction, you need to report first and get the other party’s consent. The second place to complain is your message to the subject: “Don’t be cold and violent. If you have something to say, you can tell me if you don’t want to talk, then we will separate.” In just twenty words, you made two mistakes. 1. Put the label of cold violence on the other party. It is normal for the other party to have emotions in love. Emotions mean that the other party is angry, but it does not mean cold violence. The correct way to deal with emotions is to appease, not to blame. The accusation is the interpersonal relationship between the superior and the subordinate, which runs counter to the horizontal romantic relationship. 2. Show that you don’t care about the relationship. As far as I know, every relationship that the parties don’t care about will end up in the end. There are only two directions in love, forward and retreat. The so-called sailing against the current, if you do not advance, you will retreat. When you do not move forward or advance the relationship, it is when the other person feels that you are going to retreat and end the relationship. There is only one reasonable way of falling in love, which is tolerant and positive, endows the other party with a sense of security, and continues to advance the relationship. I hope that the subject of the topic will summarize it carefully and be happy in the next relationship. Good luck!

greatword
6 months ago

If a woman can let go of likes or dislikes, she can truly be happy. In fact, I can tell you that the love you are after is not love, but a fantasy. Most women are addicted to this fantasy and lose themselves. They can’t get happiness from love, they get more pain than happiness. So, after seeing this through, love really doesn’t matter at all. Although love is not important, love is very important. Love is more important than love, and it can really make you happy. What women need is not love, but love. But most women mistake love for love, and they will drift away from the happiness of their dreams all their lives. If you cannot distinguish between love and love, like and love, you can only struggle in the pain of love in this life, and you cannot understand the meaning of love and how to love. What is a woman who pursues love? 1. They will stay with someone because they like it. Many people ask, isn’t it because they like someone? I want to say: Is the woman who asks this question mentally handicapped? You are not a kid anymore. If you are with someone because you like it, is that a very bad person, a very bad character, and a wicked person? Do you want to like it too? I have seen a true story before: There was a female college student who was very, very infatuated. She fell in love with a man. This man asked her to deliver the goods. What should she give? The man didn’t make it clear. Why not make it clear? Because it is drugs! She has sent several kilograms back and forth like this! This amount is already going to be executed in China. In fact, when she was arrested, she could confess her boyfriend and get exonerated by herself, but she didn’t. She didn’t confess because of love. What awaited her was legal sanctions. She was finally sentenced to death. He was only 21 years old. I have also heard many stories like this. Many women stay with a man because they like it. They believe in everything about this man without thinking. They even used a large sum of money to help this man pay off his debts. It was later revealed that this man is A liar specializes in deceiving wealthy and handsome older unmarried young women on marriage and dating websites. The picture is a combination of wealth and color, and then slip away after success. Why are these women deceived? Because they believe in feelings, and scammers are good at creating feelings; they believe in fate, scammers will create fate; they believe in love, scammers will create love. They value love, and scammers stare at their wealth and sex. So, I said, because I like someone, being with this person is the most stupid behavior in the world. You like the devil, do you want to dance with the devil? 2. Love is a must for them, or a luxury. Why the more you pursue love? The more you can’t get love? Because love is an illusion, this illusion is no less than the pleasure created by drugs. Do you know why drugs harm people? After the first time you have a great excitement, it will severely impact your nerves. Daily excitement cannot make you excited. You will feel that life is extremely boring, because your excitement threshold has been greatly increased. So you see that drug users are extremely depressed. However, if they don’t take drugs, they will continue to languish, but when the drug addiction strikes, they need to continue taking drugs. However, love is like drugs. After you smoke it once, it feels cool. When you pursue that feeling again, you will find that the feeling has not stimulated you, and you will feel that love is growing. The more boring you are, the fewer and fewer people will make you interested, but you are very addicted. Without love you will feel that life is empty, but when you fall in love, you will find yourself more empty, more boring, and more painful, so you enter an infinite Endless loop. Love is not as terrible as drugs, and its effects come so quickly; love is like a chronic poison that slowly destroys your soul and makes your spirit more and more empty. Do you know why so many women who pursue love are not happy? Because they are very empty in spirit, they have no love, they only pursue love. Pursuing love is actually a purely self-interested behavior. It is for the sake of oneself. However, people who pursue love are likely to do some stupid things desperately: 1. Being deceived 2. Being deceived 3. Losing their job 4. Because of love Choose self-harm, suicide 5. Even killed but most of the women I met were deceived by sex and money. They treat men as boyfriends, and boyfriends treat them as P*Y and cash machines. In fact, the love that most women pursue is: men love them, and men treat them well. However, the problem they encounter is: they love men, and men don’t love them. Therefore, for them, love is a luxury. How to do it? If you want to get love, you can only learn to love first. What kind of thing is love? How should we love? 1. Love has nothing to do with liking. You should love everyone, but you can dislike anyone. Loving someone should not be changed by one’s own preferences. To love someone, we should help that person change, not satisfy that person’s greed. Do you know why many women love a man very much, and pay a lot for this man, but they get hurt? Because you are satisfying the man’s greed, but you are not giving love. For example: a woman loves a man very much, she upsets a lot of money for the man, and also aborts the man. She felt that she was loving this man by doing this, and she really paid, but what did she get in return? The man abandoned her because her behavior was stupid. Please distinguish between love and doting. Love is to help a person get better, and spoiling is to satisfy a person’s greed infinitely. We all know that you can’t spoil a child, and the same is true for an adult, you can’t spoil him. The doting for a man is: 1. You raise him and kill the will of this man. 2. You give him a chance to hurt you. 3. You tolerate him unlimitedly and tolerate his deception. 4. You get pleasure from being abused, and you feel that you have paid a lot. This is not love, this is stupid, and this is the stupid thing most women who don’t love do. True love for a man: 1. Constantly motivate him to grow. 2. Let him learn to love, let him love you. 3. Use your words and deeds to influence him. 4. Let him know the responsibility. 5. Let him know how to withstand life pressures and challenges. Most women can’t even manage themselves well, let alone influence their men, so learning to love is not an easy task. If you truly have love, your influence is very powerful. You can influence everyone around you, including your man. 2. Love him only because he needs to be worthy of him, not because you like him. You certainly don’t know. Many men are fascinated by this kind of woman: 1. She looks down on him very much, but she always helps him. 2. He feels that he and you have no chance, but are always together. 3. She can help him a lot of things invisibly, but she doesn’t like him. 4. She even scolded him every day, but he liked to be scolded by her. 5. He feels that she is very smart, very proud, and very confident, but he just doesn’t like him, even if he is rich and handsome, countless women are crazy for him. The better the man, the more he likes this kind of woman: self-confident, proud, kind, smart, and always help himself, but don’t like his own woman. He longed to get help from this woman all the time, because he felt comfortable with this woman. He is eager to be recognized by this woman, because a man’s nature is to chase challenges and sense of accomplishment. He felt that this woman could help him because she truly understood herself, not because she saw his superficial scenery. It is more wise to be able to see the lack of a person than to see the advantages of one. Many women just look at the surface and see that this man is rich, handsome, and good-bodied and likes this man. However, such men have no shortage of women. They have seen all kinds of women, and they are tired of this kind of woman. They like the wise woman who can always treat herself well, but doesn’t like herself and truly understands herself. A woman has no love for the following reasons: 1. Superficial. Attracted by the outside of men. 2. Low emotional intelligence. Controlled by your own feelings and emotions. 3. Great desire. Find a man to satisfy your desires. 4. Intellectually disabled. Maintain a relationship by satisfying a man’s desires. A woman who has love is like this: 1. She understands this man. 2. She loves this man not because she likes it, but because she is worthy of love. 3. She will not satisfy this man’s greed, nor does she have greed. 4. She is very happy and has a high emotional intelligence. She will control herself and influence others. Who doesn’t like a woman who understands love? But how many such women can there be in this world?

loveyou
6 months ago

Because some people never learn how to get along with others for a long time. It’s more of one’s own problems, maybe character, or character, because people tend to like the new and dislike the old, or they can’t control their feelings. If you get along with others for a long time, you will easily break out of conflicts, and you can’t solve them well. Falling in love is more likely to trigger conflicts. If you are in a relationship not long ago, most of your problems still have bigger problems. It is still necessary to reflect on your own behavior patterns and get along with others.

strongman
6 months ago

These problems are not for you, indeed. But it’s not that you have no problems at all. If you just want to “fall in love”, then you only need to learn to use the weaknesses of human nature. Many people get along with each other and want the relationship to follow their own design, which can be accomplished by taking advantage of the weakness of human nature. It can even be said that any relationship, as long as you learn to take advantage of the weaknesses of human nature, almost can win. But the more I grow up, the more people I have contact with, and the more I understand the truth, the more I feel disgusted and use the weakness of human nature to “win” in the relationship. Whether it’s a short or long relationship, is this a kind of “winning” performance? Or is this your purpose? Is the length of time really important to you? Most of the so-called love skills and salvation skills taught by love specialists are essentially taking advantage of the weaknesses of human nature. For example, to show the so-called “availability” is to make those who are interested in you feel as if they are hopeful, and you might be able to get involved with you as long as you work harder. Without him, people always think that they can eat the 30 cm carrots in front of them, and then they always want to grab them and eat them. For example, to show the so-called “sense of distance” is to make those who treat you as a carrot always feel that it is only 30 centimeters away. Not three meters, not three centimeters. After all, the distance is too far to go a long way, people are very lazy. And as the distance is far away, the focus in front of you will be lost, and you will see more apples, bananas and pears. If you choose more, you will hesitate whether you really want to eat carrots. The distance is too short and it feels too easy, you can get it by hooking your fingers, it’s boring, after all, people love to be cheap. Therefore, keep the distance of 30 centimeters not far and near, so that the other person only has the distance of this carrot, and he will always want to chase. Another example is the so-called “free state”, which teaches you how to leave. Because the less people can get, the more they want to get it. When the 30 centimeters of the carrot was about to become three centimeters each time, it was pulled to three meters again. People who wanted to eat carrots suddenly found that the difficulty became higher, and either continued to charge or wanted to give up. At this time, you have changed from three meters back to thirty centimeters…After going back and forth several times, people will never get tired of it, thinking that they are upgrading and fighting monsters. After all, the unavailable is always in commotion, and chocolate is the best when it is unpacked. Another example is the so-called “sunk cost”, which is to teach you how to make the other party invest money, time, and energy on you. Because the more people invest in things, the harder it is to give up and let go. For example, for the 30-centimeter carrot, I gave up the apple, banana, and pear that were three meters away. I spent almost ten laps in the playground and the energy and time to stop me from eating this carrot. Are you kidding me? Take your narrative as an example. The first question is why I am very enthusiastic when I see you offline, but indifferent when I see you online. Without him, the other party has a strong purpose and a very clear goal, which is aimed at “physical contact.” As for how to understand this physical contact, I think you also understand. Online emotional maintenance is equivalent to recharge in your and his emotional account, and this recharge is cash back offline. The people you contact are nothing but wool, hoping to get the maximum cash back through the smallest recharge. You are too gentle, kind and sensible, so that you did not take advantage of the weakness of the greedy chicken thief that they tried to “get big by small”, and did not always think of a way to recharge them, so they generated one cent for online recharge and one for offline cash out. Thousands of arbitrage space. And you don’t realize that this is a bug at all, and you need to fix it. So people have enough wool and don’t even want to charge a penny, so the relationship is goodbye. The second question is why your male partner would say so lemon-scented words because you did not use the so-called “distance” or the so-called “mystery” to hang him. You tell him so frankly, where you are going, who you want to meet, and who has done what to play with you. Every detail is well known to the other party, which makes him so relieved that he thinks that he does not need to pay and care. Mastering your dynamics can instead punish you for not contributing your personal space to him through suppression and cold violence. The third question, why he was furious, is because you did not use his “vanity”. He is obviously very poor now, he has no money and no time to play with you, but he thinks that this is what he should do, he can’t do it now, and he is particularly incompetent. And because you didn’t take care of his vanity, didn’t take care of his so-called “face” and “self-esteem,” you went straight to play, and you played when he was most upset and down. You didn’t create a way for him to be “A very powerful man, and you now support the atmosphere of encouraging and accompany him to read the trough period.” You poke and play, and said that another man flew over to play with you. Think about his vanity. After being demolished to pieces, you can only transfer the anger towards your incompetence to you. But why do I say that it is not your problem? Because emotional relationships should never take advantage of the weaknesses of human nature. On the contrary, we should promote the glory of humanity. Therefore, when a person gets along with you, you expose your weaknesses to him, you see whether he takes advantage of your weaknesses, or takes advantage of your weaknesses, and perfects your weaknesses. Whenever a person takes advantage of your weakness to get along with you, even once, you can withdraw without hesitation. Therefore, there is no problem not to take advantage of the weaknesses of others exposed to you. On the contrary, in my opinion, you are really kind, gentle, and sensible. The sweet love you want, but also care about the length of time, nothing more than hope that this relationship is sincere and stable. Since what you care about is feeling and happiness, is it really important to be together? Long or short, is it important? The important thing is, can you take advantage of each other’s weaknesses? The important thing is, does the other party take advantage of your weaknesses? Obviously you can’t take advantage of his weaknesses, and he is taking advantage of your weaknesses. Send the message without replying, call the phone to shut down, use cold force to retreat, you counterattack, he takes a step forward to show good, slap a date. Sincere and stable feelings should actually be built on the basis of exposing each other’s weaknesses and filling each other. This is because when people expose their weaknesses, the discomfort and anxiety that they bring can be filled by mutual improvement, so that the discomfort and anxiety between each other will gradually be eliminated, and only then will they become more and more honest and more stable. I see your weakness, but I am willing to be your armor. You see my weakness, you are willing to build a high wall for me. Rather than, I saw your weakness, so I grabbed it. When you see my weakness, you pinch my dead spot. An inferior relationship is a “fight”, and it must be a high and low and win or lose. How to win tactically, there are too many cheats for the lovers. And a healthy relationship is “achievement.” You give me a step, and I also give you a step. Let’s go up together and look up together. If you don’t want to go together when you encounter a fork, then bid farewell to each other and embrace the new life. Therefore, I hope you continue to be brave, continue to be sincere, continue to be sensible, continue to be gentle and kind. Don’t take advantage of the weakness of human nature to win in the emotions. Because it is impossible for people not to expose their weaknesses. People will have a fragile side. The key is to find the fragile person who cherishes and cherish you, perfect the person who fills your weakness, and grow up with each other. wish you happiness. Come on.

stockin
6 months ago

Obviously, the problem is with you! Don’t listen to the opinions of people around you when you fall in love. It’s often useless, because they are not a third party, but someone on your side. They can coax you, but they won’t be responsible for you! I don’t know what your understanding of love is? But judging from the details you added, it is obvious that you are still a noob! First, you don’t know what is the meaning of love? More emotional enjoyment of love, chatting, having a good chat, being able to take care of each other’s emotions, this is the only requirement for people in love, to put it bluntly, it is an emotional partner that makes each other happy, an emotional alliance Obviously, nobody tells you or teaches you how to do well! Second, the emotional perception of others is a bit slow. Your boyfriend’s career is frustrated and he is unable to travel with you. At this time, your happiness will undoubtedly make him sad, and more importantly, it will increase his frustration. I don’t have the ability of a friend, how much heartache would I have as a boy? At this time, there will be another person who is stronger than him, who is willing to play and play with you in the past? This turned his powerlessness directly into anger. Isn’t cold violence normal? And this kind of thing is not just for this boy. What is more important behind this is that you have insufficient understanding and control of emotions, and it is difficult for you to keep it for anyone else! Of course, saying this is not to let you just to accommodate others in the future, you may not be able to do it, but you should learn to understand the status of the other half based on whether you are happy or not, and spend more time if you can support and encourage , At least not making it worse, love does not exist at the moment you are together, but a solid emotional connection that you build step by step at the end of many things! Otherwise, what about a love story? What do you say?

11
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x