In the final analysis, this question is still asking: what should I do if I feel I am not worthy of my partner? There are similar questions: What should I do if I am poor but the target is rich? What should I do if I am a scumbag but the subject has good grades? What should I do if my personal value is obviously inferior to that of the other half? First of all, it needs to be clear. No matter whether the above worries are your personal low self-esteem, because of the fear in your heart, you will repeatedly confirm the loyalty of the other half. This is absolutely impossible, because it will continue to consume the relationship and the patience of the other half, and finally move towards Self-fulfilling prophecy. Looking at the specific situation, this can generally be divided into two types: one is your lack of self-awareness, you are not aware of the point where you hit the other half, and you don’t even feel that it is an advantage. This is easy to handle. At least you do have the core value points to attract your partner. As long as you don’t continue to destroy the relationship, the partner’s preference for you will not decrease. The problem of insufficient self-awareness can be solved slowly. Up. Second, the subject is not deeply involved in the world, and is temporarily blinded by you. Sooner or later, he will leave you because of a mismatch. how to say. . . If you really don’t match in value, shouldn’t you be dark? You are very lucky now! The dove takes up the magpie’s nest and takes up one day’s happiness. If it doesn’t belong to you, it’s in your hands for the time being, so cherish it first~ Finally, what can be done? 1. Improve self-awareness. Benefits ① With improved self-awareness and self-confidence, it will not repeatedly confirm the loyalty of the other half, so that the other half has a better love experience. Benefit ②, self-confidence is enhanced, and personal charm will be significantly enhanced to some extent. This is another point worthy of being liked by the other half! 2. Understand the core needs of the other half. This demand does not refer to physiological or material things, but values. If the object is particularly motivated, you will show strong growth; if the object is particularly Buddhism, you will let yourself enjoy the years; if the object is particularly humorous, you will get to every point of ta, and there will be back and forth with ta… When you can meet the core needs of your partner, regardless of whether he has fallen in love with you, he will become inseparable from you in the future.
This question is essentially about how to maintain a long-term relationship in such a state that oneself is ordinary and the other party is excellent. The first thing I want to say is that you must not feel inferior, worry that you are not worthy of the other party, Murphy’s law, about what will happen if you worry about it. It will be fulfilled because you have been worrying about the result of your own fantasy that has never happened. When you are in such a transition, the process of getting along with your partner is your subconscious projection of the wrong view of love you think you are. Projected on the other person, the other person will disagree at first, but after a long time, they will interact with you in the way you want. Therefore, the other person says that you are not worthy of me, and the things you worry most will naturally happen. So when you think you are in a relationship where I am inferior to him, how do you maintain it? 1. Consciousness level: Know yourself and give positive feedback. In fact, since the other person can choose to be with you, you definitely have a shining point that attracts the other person. Since you are also very concerned about the relationship between you, continue to feel inferior. All the results are to push your relationship to the worst. Social psychology tells us that there are many kinds of people, but everyone has subconscious pursuits. The nature of equality, only when the contribution is proportional to the benefit, will you be most satisfied with intimacy. In other words, we must give appropriate feedback when we get along with the TA, and give the TA corresponding feedback while the other half is paying. If you always show a posture of “I am not worthy of you” in the process of getting along with you, after a long time, you can still patiently comfort you at the beginning. What do you mean by acquiescence and grievances at the same time, because you have not been able to get the desired results and feedback with your own intentions and efforts? Let’s give a chestnut. On Chinese Valentine’s Day one year, your girlfriend came home early and prepared a romantic candlelight dinner. Champagne steak candlelight night, waiting for a pleasant dinner with you. Finally, you came home and said something. “Hey, what’s the situation today?” Then I don’t think the steak is not delicious when I eat at the table. Champagne is not as good as beer… Seeing my girlfriend’s face is getting worse and worse, you are still bulging in your heart: Why are you angry again? ! This is in fact a typical failure to give proper feedback. When the other half is devoting himself to paying for you, he does not give him positive feedback. Instead, there is a wave of negative feedback that affects your relationship. 2. At the action level, establish communication and patiently understand the lack of proper communication. Another important reason for long-term relationship problems is the lack of proper communication. There is a very common scenario in our daily life: returning home from get off work, accumulated a day of tired and complaining girlfriends Telling you about the exhaustion of going to work, the boss has assigned a lot of work and so on, but you collapsed on the sofa with perfunctory answers of “Uh-huh” and “Oh-oh”. At this time, if you are that girl, are you angry? Angry! ! I can’t wait to fuck up the pillow and beat him hard. So what is the correct way? You should put down your phone, listen carefully and patiently to TA’s work today, and even adopt an empathetic approach, and complain to your boss, work, and complain about everything that is unsatisfactory today, and then take your TA lightly. Lightly hugged him and stared at TA’s eyes gently: “It’s okay, tomorrow will be the same sadness anyway, hahaha” and then watched TA pounce on you viciously, fight with you, and go jokingly Do other things. This is actually a very simple way of empathy, but it can make your relationship more harmonious 3, strengthen yourself and become the right person. People who are able to work in the workplace are not afraid to resign and change jobs, and attractive people in love are not afraid to lose love. This charm does not refer to appearance. Appearance is important, but your wisdom and character are the best shining points to keep a person. If you are attractive and well-connected, you will always meet many people who meet your requirements. You can choose slowly. When you meet the right person and don’t want to lose, you have to think about the three specific needs of the goal of love. As a partner, do you meet his needs? Meet your needs for this set of physiological mechanisms. Preliminary screening and preparation for the reproduction of offspring or marriage relationship. Provide close companionship. If you don’t have any plans to thrive at the moment, then you have to focus on whether you are happy or not in the process of getting along. If you often feel twisted and uncomfortable during the process of getting along, I suggest you list your unspecific needs one by one, and see if it is your own problem or the other party’s problem. Then give priority to solving important issues, so step by step, your relationship will definitely get closer and closer. Getting along between two people is very simple for people with high EQ, but it is very complicated for people with low EQ, and it is impossible to finish this article in detail. If you are always dumped, or have a bad relationship with your partner but don’t want to break up, I recommend you to read the two books “Intimate Relationship” and “Non Violent Communication”. Here are only three points of attention. The first point of note is: it is not that you are perfect, beautiful, and proficient in career, and you will be able to make the person you love like you and stay with you. The physiological mechanism is really complicated. We can only grasp the general direction. You are good in all aspects, have excellent communication skills, and generally meet the three-point needs of the other party, but the person is still gone. People who are not as good as you. Don’t think it’s something wrong with you. In many cases, it is the things that turnips and vegetables have their own loves. (For example, I have no idea about all the popular small fresh meats, and even a little disgusted with the national husband Wang Sicong) The second point of attention is: many people think that the “right person” must meet all the needs of the other party. Some people will become particularly humble after finding someone with better conditions than themselves. Don’t dare to say words, don’t dare to breathe, be careful, wait for what people say, for fear that the other party will be upset and not yourself. This is a slave, this is not a partner. This kind of relationship is not very healthy. Only if the forces are evenly matched and an equal relationship can have a long-term good relationship. One last note: people are always growing and changing. Many times when two people are walking, they are not in the same world. If you want to keep the person you think is right, you also need to grow up with him and don’t fall behind. . You need to maintain your charm in all aspects, not only to keep the person you love, but also to maintain your own competitiveness in society. Even if you finally broke up, you can easily find a home to meet your small needs without the extreme pain. The above hopeful article will inspire you