I work in the service industry, and I have been dealing with people for a long time. Although it is not office politics, there are various life styles on a flight. I think some of my experiences can be shared with you. I am not sure whether it applies to your company, but I hope you will avoid detours in your work: 1. Deal with emotions first, and then deal with things. This point, whether it is with leaders, colleagues, customers, or even family members, partners, I think it is very important. When communicating with others, start with the other person’s perspective. If you want the other person to accept your opinions, find a perspective that makes them feel comfortable and profit from it. If you make a mistake, don’t be too busy explaining. A person will only oppose you when he is resistant to you. You must first deal with his emotions so that he feels that you are thinking about him and are in the same camp with him. When the emotions are handled well, things will be solved easily, and he will naturally be willing to listen to you. For example, a certain passenger sits in an empty seat at the back of the plane (we stipulate that the seat can only be changed after takeoff), and is unwilling to go back to his seat to do it. He is already upset when you negotiate.” This seat is empty, so why don’t you let me sit.” Instead of explaining a bunch of aviation terms and making him think you are making an excuse to not let him sit, it’s better to coax him first, deal with his emotions, and change seats. I’ll talk about it later. See how I do, “Sir, this seat is not forbidden to you, you can sit, but I suggest you come and sit again after takeoff. Why? We work loudly after takeoff, if you just fell asleep, sure Wake you up. And after taking off, there are a lot of people coming to the bathroom, and the people coming and going are noisier. Sometimes the people in the bathroom are in a row, and the smell of opening and closing the door is particularly strong. Alas, We smell uncomfortable every day when we work in the back, not to mention you, if you are not comfortable in your seat, I will find a comfortable seat for you after taking off for a while. You can rest well, or if you really want to sit here, use it after takeoff. If there are fewer people in the bathroom, I will arrange for you to come over, so that you are more comfortable.” At this point, the passenger must have gotten up and went back. My logic is to comfort his emotions first, and give some suggestions to “be good for him” from his perspective, and he will listen. And many new flight attendants will tell him very rigidly, sir, you can’t sit here. He is easy to compete. Why can’t he sit? I sit instead. In this way, it is deadlocked, why bother. Set up your emotions first, and things will work out naturally. I think this is very suitable for customers. 2. Do not work stupidly, but do not report to the direct leader. Whenever you do something, ask him for his opinion first, and after you finish it, tell him the result, and your own evaluation of the thing, such as where you did not do well, or if you have other optimization solutions. Think for the leader a little more, fuck more, ask him more if you can do this, and ask him how to do it. Let me give you an example of my work. After the meal is served, everyone is resting. How can I show that I am active in my work? I took the initiative to go to the front cabin of the flight attendant to help her tidy up, and intentionally or unconsciously chatted a few words, “Sister, please rest. I checked the cabin just now, and the passengers are pretty good. I’m alone for a few of those who want juice. It’s added. You see it’s more than an hour before landing, do you want to add water again?” Then, the flight attendant will know, oh, it turns out that Comrade Kitty went to patrol the cabin when everyone was resting. I have added water to the passengers, and worry about whether to add water before landing, um, think what I think, excellent! 3. The misfortune comes out of your mouth. Don’t evaluate the people at work, especially the leaders. Even if your colleagues are talking, keep your mouth shut. Maybe some people do things and everyone is uncomfortable. It happens that that person also makes you feel very uncomfortable, so you have to control your own mouth. If you participate, you won’t be able to get rid of it. When the Dongchuang incident happens, you will definitely have a copy, and maybe you will give it back to others. 4. Don’t be too outstanding in front of colleagues at the same level. People who are too much better than them have a mentality. They will not compare with the old employees, but will compare with themselves in the same period. This can be known by referring to the mentality of your parents at each class gathering. People who are secretly competing in their hearts are often those who have been at the starting line with themselves. Therefore, in front of colleagues in the same period, what you have to do is similar to them. Don’t show yourself in front of them and ask your leaders for credit. If you perform better than them, then beware of them pulling you into the water. When you ascend, when they can’t pull you, they will be convinced if they are not convinced. 5. It is not “talk less and work more”, but “talk and work”. Talking less means you shouldn’t say anything, such as telling the truth, confronting your boss, and rushing to answer in a meeting. It’s not that you don’t say anything, don’t dare to ask if you have any questions, and do not communicate if you need to communicate and confirm it blindly. Doing more is to allow you to do well the tasks assigned by the leader, and then think about one more step for the leader, prepare a set of plans, and leave a way out. For example, if you do a and plan b for one thing, in case a is killed If you do, you immediately take out the b top to solve the urgent needs of the leadership, instead of taking over the work that does not belong to you and giving others the burden. The most fearful thing is not to speak, just work, and after others follow you to wipe your butt. 6. Communication and communication There is no job that can be completed by one person. Which step has been done and what problems have been caused should be communicated with all people related to the job in a timely manner. Otherwise, a certain link will go wrong and the whole project will be affected. Related people will wipe your ass, and they must be dissatisfied with you. If you communicate with everyone in time before the East Window incident, you may be able to avoid or reduce the loss. 7. Stop loss in time and choose more than hard work. If you really can’t see the future for a job, don’t feel that it’s a pity that you don’t want to eat. The food you can’t eat is destined to be eaten soon. It’s the same thing as stock trading. You should cut meat and meat, even if you are. If it is bought at the highest point, if it is hopeless to rebound, clear the position in time. If you work hard in an inappropriate place, gold will not shine, it will only be buried. I’ve written so much in one breath, and I’m exhausted, I hope I can give you some inspiration. In the workplace, emotional intelligence is really important.


By zhiwo

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6 months ago

Recently, the mood fluctuates greatly, and I always feel that life is ups and downs. I was thinking, how did we suddenly become sensible during the initial social internship? Including how to maintain contact with strangers and how to control one’s emotions, he learned in an instant. More importantly, I learned some truths from it, so I can’t wait to share it with you. 1. Turn excellent people into the power of human connections. Because I have also been in the sales industry before, I attach great importance to connections. The society is very realistic. You must show your own value to make it possible to make those performances very good. People are fishing for you. This is the case no matter where you are. The essence of networking is the exchange of value. If you have no value to others, then you will not become his networking. The same is true. People who are of no value to you will not become your contacts. If you want to expand your network, you must learn from outstanding people, find your own value, and position your own abilities. 2. Correctly recognize the advantages of others When many people first enter the workplace, they will have a sense of rejection. When I see people who are better than me or those who are better than me, I always complain. For example, today, a micro-business friend who saw the screen in the circle of friends will always say sternly, what is the use of screen every day? See how I block you. In fact, we really can’t easily block those who are doing micro-businesses, because you never know that even in the student days, they can make more than 10,000 a month behind you can’t see them. Let alone those who are better than themselves in the workplace, they must have a set of methods that are stronger than you. Correctly understand and learn the strengths of others, and then transform them into their own strengths. This is the most useful way. . 3. Promote yourself correctly. Don’t forget to improve yourself at any time. Those meaningless social interactions can save you and save more time for yourself. Make good use of off-get off work time and do what you are good at, and you will definitely gain something. In addition, in the workplace, you can be a newcomer, but you can’t always be a newcomer. Everyone has to go out of society to fight. Like our young people who just came out of society are somewhat impetuous, at this time we should think about how to stabilize our impetuous hearts. Be responsible for your own growth, adjust yourself quickly, strengthen yourself hard, and improve yourself positively. Fourth, human nature is the most untestable. You must have reservations when you talk to strangers. Don’t drag yourself out of the abacus stupidly. To be too honest with others is to hurt yourself. Of course, the more you get in touch, the more you will discover that there is no absolute black and white, no absolute bad and good people in this world. There are also a large number of people who are on the edge of the two sides of the strait, and the group of people who swear at you, may also be the modest gentlemen in his population. V. Moderately venting negative energy. I made a mistake. At the beginning, I was busy and tired at work and under great pressure. I worked overtime every day for the internship. When I got home, it was more than ten o’clock in the evening, not including extra gatherings. So I stupidly vented this troublesome work to the leader, and you should be able to think of the ending. (Beep beep Lailai) Life is very tired, everyone has their own pressure, no one wants to be with a person who is full of negative energy. Therefore, we are more to bring the positive side to everyone. 6. The least valuable thing is face. Most of the time, face is really worthless, especially for college students who have just graduated. The more afraid of embarrassment, the easier it is to embarrass. Caring too much about other people’s opinions is not good for yourself. You know, not so many people will always pay attention to you. It is really a pity that many people will miss many rare opportunities because of face issues. 7. Communication is a culture. 70% of communication between people is emotional. Sometimes things that are simple for you may take a long time for others to digest. Those things that took a long time to understand are always overturned by occasional emotions. So when communicating, don’t impose your own ideas on others. Because you don’t know how long such a joke will hurt the other party. 8. Learn to control and accept emotions Of course, if you are the person whose emotions are out of control, then you must learn to accept emotions, list the causal relationships of emotions, and then solve them step by step, and finally become the master of emotions. I’m such a sensitive person, and I always bring myself into scenes that don’t exist at all. For example, during this period of time, I felt a lot of pressure. The leader asked me to talk and let me summarize the reasons for the lack of performance during this period. At this time, I will add drama to myself, how do I summarize these problems, I also want to have a performance and so on. In fact, this is just a summary. To analyze the problem, there is really no performance during this period. The summary is only to find the problem and then solve it. The purpose is to allow me to make full use of the space to improve myself. Thinking about it this way, it is true. College students are very malleable when they first come out. Therefore, if you work hard to improve yourself in the early stage, you will have the possibility of breaking out in the later stage.

6 months ago

You don’t even know how hypocritical the Virgin you were before you did not enter the society to experience it. Many things that you hated before are actually your armor for survival. Only when you are out of society will you truly understand: 1. Life is really hard, and you feel relaxed, really because someone is carrying the weight for you. When you go to school, you have a worry-free time. The house provides you with food and clothing, and the school protects you. 2. If you are ugly, you should read more. In fact, it makes sense, not to ruin people. Read more to keep learning and improve yourself. Every word you read may surprise you someday in the future. 3. It is very important to get rid of poverty, don’t yell that there is no target. Money is a good thing, and in the eyes of some people, you are nothing. The society is too realistic to embrace ideals, but also to be loyal to reality. Remember, keep some money in the card whenever you want, and don’t run out of overdrafts. 4. Most people are not so well-intentioned, and most of them are exchanges and maintenance of interests. Sometimes you don’t know what happened to someone who is very close to you and stabbed you in the back. So now, there are very few people who can be friends of life and death. Those are the objects you can talk to without reservation. Are there any books that young people must read, or books that are particularly good for the future? ​No matter how much you talk about it, after experiencing it, you will slowly realize it, and then slowly update it later. I hope everyone will do it and cherish it, and the future can be expected.

6 months ago

1. Rich families have the same goals for the whole family, and poor families have their own ideas. 2. The holding cost of this relationship was too low, so he gave up and gave up. It seems that other things are like this, the cost of holding is too low, and if you give up, you give up. 3. In any place, at any time, there is only one great standard of being rich, and you are nothing if you don’t have money. 4. Anything you do needs to be reciprocated. If you say that there is no return rate for loving someone, then why do you need a rose? Others help us, if we don’t give him a little benefit, no one will help us next time, we Can’t let people down. 5. What kind of color the human heart is, what color is the wind. 6. Don’t overestimate the relationship between you and anyone. Everyone wants to live better than the people around you. That is to say, “People around you don’t want you to live better than him.” 7. Nine times being good to him + one time being bad to him ≈ you are bad; nine times being bad to him + one time being good to him ≈ you are not bad 8. Don’t use favors for things that can be solved with money. Earn again. Favor debts are hard to pay, and the repayment of human favor debts will cycle after a long time, and there will always be people looking for you at intervals, which will consume a lot of time and energy. Many people are busy every day to repay their debts, but they are actually at a disadvantage. 9. To prove to others that you are a good person is tantamount to automatically lay down your weapons and let others kill you. 10. Lending money to others is most likely to cultivate enemies. 11. Life will only make the right choice when it is extremely cold. 12. What is right? Only earning money is right, everything else is wrong! Making money is not only to make yourself comfortable, but also to make others comfortable. If you make money to make others uncomfortable, then this money is poison. It will make others hate and you will be committed by others. 13. After a person is 30 years old, the cruelty of life will be multiplied by 10 times. After 30 years of age, life needs money and self-discipline to maintain, rather than relying on how social and drinking you are. 14. It is best to stay away from things that cannot be controlled from the beginning, and would rather turn into regrets than let him hurt you. 15. The sign of a person’s maturity is that he doesn’t want to be understood as he used to, and there is nothing that he can’t let go of. 16. Everyone is a snob, everyone is insatiable, no matter whether it is a person or a country, all are profiteering. 17. If you don’t have money, no matter what kind of scenery you encounter, you will always miss, miss, miss! 18. Will fawn on people, give gifts, and divide money. For ordinary people, this is the easiest way. It is much better than studying hard for more than ten years in some cold windows. The society we currently live in is originally a society that is so sophisticated and connected. Relationship. 19. When you have money, you have the most friends. When you have no money, you have the most passers-by. 20. Don’t make heart-to-heart with others at every turn. You tell yourself all about your secrets. Your secrets are just chats from others after tea. 21. When you see a good answer in Zhihu, don’t be embarrassed, just like it. 22. In the company, the boss is right in everything, no matter how bad you do, the salary is a lot of money Yours, the boss doesn’t care if you make money or not. 23. People who have never seen the world find it hard to make money, and those who have seen the world think it is easy to make money. Seeing the world means that 90% of the IQ tax is not paid, and not seeing the world means being cut every day. 24. Internet projects are more addictive than physical projects. If we are doing Internet projects, we should not tinker with physical projects. We study virtual selling points every day, research how to post, how to post videos, how to post audio, how to engage in traffic, other physical projects, just Goodbye. 25. Money can solve 90% of the troubles, and money can be used to speed up the resolution of the remaining 10%. As long as the things that can be solved with money are small things. In this society, the ultimate orientation of everything is money. Without money, you are nothing. Just like you are unhappy, the big reason is that you have no money. 26. Action is more effective than persuasion. You don’t have to try to persuade a person. Even if you persuade him at the time, he will still show up as it is after a while. The really effective way is to crush him with your actual actions. This is the most effective. . 27. There are no eternal friends or enemies, only eternal interests. The past is, the present is, and the future will be. 28. Making money is the first thing. Love is not a life-saving straw when studying, working, and life are unhappy. It is just an add-on to your smooth life. Making money is your life-saving straw. But if you need someone to urge you to make money, you deserve no love. 29. Don’t care too much about the opinions of others, they are just venting their inner thoughts. If you are an ordinary office worker, some people say you are not free. If you start a business, some people say that you are exhausted and unpleasant. If you are a free person, some people say you are incapable. They just have a ghost in their hearts, just envy and jealousy. You have to figure out that people who really disdain you won’t look at you. Don’t live in the eyes of others, be yourself, and do what you like. 30. Only when there is input, there is output. All things are the same when there is effort to gain. You want to achieve your goals but don’t want to work hard, you want to make money but don’t want to spend time on investment and learning, and you dream of getting rich overnight. Most people don’t have this life. 31. All contradictions come from wanting to take shortcuts and wanting to get something for nothing. 32. The circle sees a person’s wealth value, a person’s income wealth is equal to the average wealth of the people in the circle. With a monthly salary of 5000, you can only play in the circle with a monthly salary of 5000. Only by working hard to climb up will you have a different vision and life. In your comfort zone, all you get is what the people in this circle think and do. Look more at what the leaders do, and look at what people in higher circles think. Even if it is difficult to be squeezed, you have to bite the bullet. If you want to make money, you want to get ahead, these inhuman experiences are always Is going. 33. If you want to be friends with someone, it’s easy. Just pay the bill and become his customer. Everyone is an adult. Don’t let others pay for you every day. If you come out, you should be mature in speaking and doing things. . 34. Entrepreneurship is inevitable from frequent dealings with others. You have to refine your communication and persuasion skills to the point of perfection. 35. Keep exercising, keep doing push-ups, keep your mind sober, no one likes to cooperate with a sick person. 36. Those who have no promise will be eaten by those who have promise. No one can change this. 37. No matter who you go to, whether you bring gifts or not are two results. 38. Don’t talk politely, give people something tangible to see, and the loyalty of small partners will be higher. 39. Even if you can live on beauty when you are young, you will need money and wisdom to survive after the age of 30. . Many beautiful girls live freely when they are young. After the age of 30, there is nothing left. You must think about what you will use to survive without being beautiful. 40. To make money is to lock a project, do traffic steadily, and everything will follow the same path. Do what you can do as much as you can. There is no quality without quantity. Grandpa always comes from grandson. 41. Different people bring you different information. When you chat with the Didi driver, he will definitely tell you how difficult Didi is and how difficult your life is. You can earn a few hundred yuan a day. Money, not much money. When you are okay, go to a high-end coffee shop to sit and chat with people. It doesn’t have to be very expensive. A cup starts at 60. What kind of information do you think you will get. Some people are poor for no reason, but they don’t get the right information with the wrong people, and they have been at this level of income all their lives. 42. After reading it all, please click like it. After reading three things: 1. Like, so that more people can see this article (If you don’t like it, it’s all hooligans) 2. Follow me @云起创业说 and my column, let us become Long-term relationship 3. Pay attention to the public account “Yunqi Entrepreneurship”, and an article of the latest project to make money every day. I wish you all rich

6 months ago

1. I really understand when I step into the society. Reading is really not tiring at all. The homework is really nothing. I hope you are still reading. 2. You don’t need to listen to the truth to live your life. Normal, because life itself is truth, living your own life is the best truth, life is an experience 3. Many things have no reason, don’t go to the corner, it is easy to get yourself into trouble and it is difficult to get out , Many things are not black and white, but also gray. 4. The past is the past, and it will be forever and ever. It is true that we can create a better present and better future from the lessons of the past. Can call it experience 5. Remember one sentence, train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose, the more you are afraid of losing something, let it go, no matter what kind of fear, you are seeking a kind of for yourself Comfortable state, so you don’t have to be tight, there can be as many high peaks as there are deep valleys. 6. No one can be your backing, including your parents, relatives, and husband. Only you can be your backing. Everything will pass 7. Ups and downs is life, there is no eternal happiness, and there is no eternal sorrow. 8. Always have a kind heart. Of course, your kindness has water chestnut, and there is no need to be kind to unnecessary kind people. 9. No matter what, you must have your own principles and bottom line, and stick to it. 10. Use fragmented time to stick to one thing, and you will get unexpected gains. I hope everyone who sees this, you and I will live it. it is good

6 months ago

Talk about some of my humble opinions, I hope I can help you all. 1. Only after entering the society did I realize that reading is not painful at all. When I go to school, I have to listen to the teacher talking about a lot of things I don’t want to hear on the podium every day. Class is like going to jail, and I have to do homework when I go home. What I look forward to most is summer vacation and winter vacation. , But the teacher would always assign a lot of homework cruelly and inhumanly. At that time, the whole thing was thinking that it would be better not to study, and to be born in society would not have to be so painful. Only after entering the society did I realize that studying is really not tiring at all. After entering the society, work is not fun at all. Isn’t it as good as expected? No one will be used to you anymore, skip work? Fuck off. 2. Don’t break contact with your friends in school days, because this is the purest feeling. As a student, there were no direct interest disputes between classmates. Making friends is all based on preferences. When entering the workplace, there will be some interest disputes between colleagues. The so-called contacts say that the straightforward point is the product of interest exchange, but it is not so naked. , If you don’t have the same amount of value, then huh? Therefore, if you can still maintain your innocent feelings, if you feel that there is a gap with your current companions, then shorten it in the future. This is not a comparison. This is a way to maintain friendship. In this materialistic society, friendship is also needed. To maintain. 3. Never blame your parents, no matter how busy you are, make a phone call every week. Once you are born in society, no one will love you as much as your parents. What you think is easy to get, may make them work hard for a long time; you think you can do better than them, in fact you can’t; you think you give them a lot of love, but in fact, all you give them are wrinkles on the corners of their eyes and sideburns The gray hair, the faltering steps and the ever-lost youth. Maybe they are not the best parents, but they have limited knowledge and limited resources. Under many restrictions, what you get is the result of their best efforts. Sometimes I think my parents are very annoying and long-winded, but they are just worried about you and hope they can help you. 4. There is no unfounded success in the world. Some are just the silent efforts and accumulation of the queen, even if there is success and good luck from the sky, please believe that it will not be you. Most people are just ordinary people, and you are no exception. If you don’t have extraordinary talents, then accept your status as an ordinary person and do everything carefully, so that you may be favored by the goddess of luck. 5. Don’t bother others for things that can be solved with money. . Money is easy to repay, but human love is hard to repay. In life, if you can solve it by yourself, you can solve it by yourself. If it doesn’t, you can solve it with money. If money doesn’t work, then use favors to solve it. Why is it hard to pay back favor? Because there is no specific quantitative standard for favor, the money is as much as the amount, and favor is different, so don’t owe favor to others until it is critical, and let others owe you in the end. 6. Don’t make unnecessary arguments. Just like there are so many sprays on the Internet now, there is no point in arguing so much. People who love to care about things, the more you argue with him, the more he feels that you don’t let him, treat him badly, and take advantage of him. So when you meet this kind of person, keep silent and he shut up. 7. Don’t tell your secrets easily. A secret is a secret when you know it alone. It is called a secret only if you know it alone, because the secret that you think is very important may be nothing at the time, but it may be someone else’s talk in a few days. 8. You can not study, you can’t stop studying. Reading is just a way of learning. In addition to reading, there are many other ways. In the Internet age, it can be said that learning is the least costly investment, and the return is huge. If you don’t like to read, you must let yourself learn something else. Compared with the rapid development of society, if you run slowly, you will be eliminated. Huawei’s layoffs of employees over 34 years old are a living example. So no matter when, please make you better tomorrow than today. 9. Learn to refuse. Don’t be a good old man, don’t be a good old man, don’t be a good old man. Say the important thing three times. Don’t think that you are good to others, and they will be grateful. If you help a lot, one day you won’t help, but you will blame you instead. So learn to refuse, not to help with all the favors, and don’t always embarrass yourself because of helping others. Shengmi fights miracles, kindness without principle is stupid. Remember, don’t be afraid to refuse, most of those who are embarrassed to embarrass you are not good people. 10. Don’t listen to whoever says what is what, you must look at the problem with a critical eye. Therefore, don’t believe my words lightly. Only when you have experienced it can you realize the profound truth. What others say will always belong to others. You just see it, but it doesn’t mean it belongs to you. If you think you can help you, then give me a thumbs up, pay attention to it before leaving. Maybe you don’t know that one of your likes and one attention is my motivation to continue writing. I also opened a public account [Sanshi Xiaosheng] to share and discuss the frustrations and insights I have experienced, to make progress together, and to prepare some gifts for everyone.

6 months ago

First, it is not easy to show goodwill. This is not only for our own good, but also for the good of each other. Many people do not have the knowledge of “en”, so they do not have the ability to feel kindness. They will take goodwill as an opportunity, keep temptation, and make every inch of it. Our kindness to them not only cannot save them, but may become a bait for them to fall into the abyss. For example, the one who borrowed money from the employer after gambling, and finally set fire to the nanny of the employer’s family. Charity must pay attention to methods and use wisdom, otherwise it will be counterproductive. There is a university professor who is polite to everyone. He invented some patents in his early years and was catching up with the reform and opening up, so he started his own business. At that time, there was no infrastructure. The design, purchase of components, production, and delivery had to be done by yourself. Later, there was a slight improvement. When the quantity was too large, I couldn’t send it by myself, so I hired a pallet truck. Delivery. After negotiating the price, he went on the road. He hired a scooter to pull a scooter, and he rode a scooter to pull a scooter. That day, the sun was clear and the distance was so long. He felt that the people pulling the scooter had to work hard, so he proposed to take a rest halfway and give it to him. Bought a popsicle. It was a good intention, but the guy who pulled the cart said, “You have money to buy me popsicles, why don’t you give me the money for the popsicles and tell me the half-day price?” He is a professor of mathematics, he is a horny horn, and he is reasoned to others. One yard goes to one yard. Buying popsicles is a sentiment, and it is a duty not to buy popsicles. If you don’t appreciate it, why are you embarrassed to ask for money? As a result, the other party was anxious, saying that he was stingy, so he unloaded the cargo and quit. In the end, he had to find a way to get the freight over. “Zheng Burke’s Duan in Yan” should have been read. In fact, the story has been read through. It should be viewed both positively and negatively. Zheng Bo “will take what we want, and we must fix it.” The converse is, if we don’t want the other person To perish, you must be cautious with kindness, otherwise once the other party fails to comprehend, kindness will become a temptation, which will induce him to look at Shu and fall into the abyss step by step. Manage your kindness, and treat you and him well. Secondly, society is a long-term game of multiple people. The optimal strategy in this game is “tooth for tooth, eye for eye”. Repaying grievances by virtue is never a good choice, but repaying grievances directly. But the question is, who will take the first step? The answer is the person with the capital. Therefore, once someone shows goodwill to us, even if they don’t choose to cooperate, they must tactfully decline. Don’t choose to cooperate first and then betray. The market is relatively mature now, and there is no more honest people like my father back then. Since they dare to let us take the first step, they must have their own tricks. He can withstand at least one betrayal, and he has the strength to give us a counterattack so that we have a long memory, and we may not be able to withstand a counterattack from others, so don’t repay virtue . Once again, someone else punched us and wanted to return him, and this punch made him hurt; if someone hit us for the second time, they wanted to return him the second punch, and the second punch would make him feel heartbroken; others hit us. Let’s hit the third punch until he can’t hit the fourth punch anymore. This is called “again, twice and never again.” When we hit a punch, we directly abolished him. This is “punishing him without teaching.” This kind of over-attack is too sloppy and the cost-benefit ratio is not high, because most people will switch to cooperation after being hit back. A small number of people will try again, so let the pain a second time. This is also due to cost considerations. After all, two times can awake most people. Those very few people who hit the third punch are by no means ordinary people. They are the repeated villains mentioned in the book. This kind of person is not worthy of the opportunity. Even if he has the opportunity, he can’t change his shit. Forgive him for being a Buddha’s matter. , What we have to do is send him to see the Buddha. Note that the above point is a metaphor, shouldn’t anyone take it as a real hands-on? The cost of fighting in China is very high now. If you lose, you enter the ward, and if you win, you enter the prison. So the last point, the counterattack depends on the brain, not the fist. Of course, we must have the strength to endure the moment we use our brains, so we usually exercise more, squat twice the body weight, bench press twice the body weight, most people can’t do us well. Having the opportunity to practice fighting, Sanda, Muay Thai, MMA, not to fight, but to let us have a bottom, we are not afraid of things, we can retreat in a fight, and then use our brains and legal weapons to fight back. Regardless of only four points, if you do it, your life will not be bad at least. As for how good you can be, it depends on how well you can do it.

6 months ago

Tell me a real example I encountered in my first job. On one occasion, the brothers on the project went to sea together for work and stayed at sea for about a week. Since the high tide time on the day back to shore was at 2 o’clock in the middle of the night, the gate between the wharf and the external road was locked, and a few of us drove to pick it up. People from can’t drive the car directly into the dock, they can only let the brothers go to the gate and turn the door out. The distance between the pier and the gate was about 1 km. The weather was bad that day. It was raining all the time. The brothers were tired. In addition, they had to walk one kilometer in the rain with heavy equipment and personal belongings. , And finally climbed through the gate about 3 meters high, which is actually a bit dangerous. When a brother was about to turn over from the other side of the door, I felt that he seemed to be struggling, so I wanted to go up and help him. As a result, an old colleague standing next to me saw through my actions, Limala stopped me, and then whispered a word in my ear: Don’t help him, if he falls, you will lose a lot of money. Big responsibility. So I stopped and watched the brother land safely. Although the bad situation did not happen, this sentence has caused a great impact on me, and it can even be said that it has subverted my cognition. Why do you say it is “the truth that I only understand when I really enter the society”? I heard this sentence in the movie “There will be no deadline” directed by Han Han. At that time, I hadn’t stepped into the society and didn’t pay much attention to the true meaning of this sentence. More often, it was just a golden sentence. Mouth. Since I was young, the education I have received is to do what I think is right, to be willing to help others, and to do my best to help others when they are in difficulties. I don’t know why I stopped at that time. Perhaps I was shocked by this sentence from the bottom of my heart, or I realized the potential risks that I had never thought of. Thinking about it carefully, I don’t think there is anything wrong with the colleague who held me back. He has been in the society for many years and has seen the essence of many things. I often ask him about many problems in the workplace. In my opinion, he seems to have developed a habit, and protecting his own interests at all times has become instinct; he even kindly reminded me to make me pay attention to “protecting” my own interests. Perhaps this is the real society. We are always cautious, always afraid of getting hurt, and always afraid of taking unnecessary risks. So many times, we look at the world around us with indifferent eyes, and we learn to “do not make a move when we should make a move.” There are many truths that we do not understand when we enter society, but we have always understood, but we have been evading. There is nothing wrong with avoiding nature, but whenever we take one step less, we seem to be missing something pure, and we will no longer have any expectations for this society. “I really can’t guarantee that every decision in the future will not violate my original intention, but next time, I must make a brave choice,” I told myself. That day, I really experienced what society is.

6 months ago

Maybe we have all contradicted: people should insist on themselves under any circumstances, so that they are true. However, after entering society, interpersonal relationships have become diverse and complicated, and acting differently in different situations and in front of different objects seems to have become a required course. However-this is not necessarily “hypocrisy”, on the contrary it may also be a manifestation of the true self. Do you have three myths about “self”? Many people persistently want to give themselves and others an accurate and stable definition, and regard showing inconsistencies in front of different people as false and hypocritical-this stems from our myth about “consistency”. Myth 1: Self is coherent and consistent. Fact 1: The self is a huge and complex system, it is incoherent and inconsistent. Everyone’s “self” is a collection of self (relational self) formed in different relationships. The self in our cognition is only the part that we identify with, not the whole of our true self. Because everyone must have some parts they can’t see and they deny. Myth 2: The presentation of different selves is the result of self-management. Fact 2: The arousal of the self is uncontrollable. Different states in different situations are not deliberate changes, but different selves are activated. . Different from image management, the activation of the relational self is an unconscious process and it is almost impossible to be managed independently. The self-evoked relationship of a certain relationship is often unpredictable and uncontrollable. A common example is that people are always used to making up their minds when entering a new intimate relationship: this time I will treat this person well and manage this relationship well. However, people can’t stop the bad “I” who had been injured in the relationship from running out and doing some behaviors that hurt each other in actual getting along. Many times, people are surprised that what they did just now is so similar to the “me” they used to be in another relationship even after the injury has already occurred. Myth 3: When we are alone, we are the real fact 3: We are destined to be unable to be truly alone. In the perspective of the psychoanalysis master Winnicott, when we step into this world and begin to connect with others, we are destined forever Can’t really be alone. Even when we are physically alone, we cannot shield our own minds, hearts, and connections with others, as well as the clues that evoke those related to ourselves. How to better show their diversity? After entering the society, diversified relationships have replaced simple interpersonal relationships on campus. We need to show different faces to different people. Therefore, self-consistency is very easy to break, which makes people feel contradictory and confused. Especially those who are extremely desperate for consistency will feel doubly painful. Maybe we should let go of our obsession with “consistency”. 1. Accept the diversity and variability of personality. In fact, change is the essence of personality. Too much pursuit of stability and consistency, but will become very deliberate. Those who attribute the variable and unstable components of personality to “false” and “pretend” only rigidly understand “honesty” and “truth”. Their pursuit of the so-called truth is one-sided and deliberate. Showing consistency in any occasion and in front of anyone is most likely because a person’s own relationship is too singular. Due to the lack of relationship diversity, Ta did not form a differentiated relationship self. But even so, we must try to understand and acknowledge the multi-facetedness and authenticity of other people’s relationships, instead of one-sidedly interpreting the different appearances of another person in different relationships. 2. Let go of the dual judgment of good and evil. Because everyone has experienced good and bad relationships in their lives, this makes people appear more selfless in some relationships and more selfish in others. Therefore, people’s good and evil thoughts are always entangled and exist at the same time. There is no such thing as a person who is a good person at this moment and becomes a bad person at another moment. People always have the potential to do good, and they also have the potential to do evil. The biggest effect of understanding human ruptures and inconsistencies, as well as the contradictions in the essence, may be to let us not feel so stumbling in our lives and let our beliefs be impacted. It makes us more relaxed as a whole-whether to ourselves or to others, because we are no longer persistent in pursuing certain certain things. 3. Shape ourselves by choosing different relationships. The state we present in the relationship stems from our interaction with an important other person. In the interaction, we adjust our appearance intentionally or unintentionally, and at the same time see our appearance in the eyes of this person, and slowly integrate and internalize it into ourselves. This means that the way to shape yourself is by choosing relationships. We can decide what kind of relationship we choose. We choose to establish a deep connection with people and allow them to leave a mark on our personality. And when this person is important enough to us, this relational self will be aroused more frequently, and even become the self that we express most of the time. For example, we can choose to establish a bond with a strict person to cultivate a more perfect self. But I want to remind everyone that if you don’t like some parts of yourself, you want to become safer and more comfortable, and you also find such an object that is willing to establish a deep connection with you. This process of shaping is not accomplished overnight. You will definitely go through an uncomfortable process first. This discomfort may be due to your already formed relationship self, and you want to bring your relationship into a pattern that you are familiar with (but don’t like), but you faintly want to contend, which is a kind of discomfort brought about by confrontation. It may also be the pain you must go through when you run into a completely new personality that is different from the important others before. So don’t worry, the appearances in different relationships are the true self. We can even shape ourselves by choosing important relationships. Wilde said, “To love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Perhaps this kind of romance also lies in the fact that we can talk about love with many “me”.

6 months ago

I just say a little bit. Belly sinister heart of a gentleman. This is the life-saving law for survival in society. When I go to school, I think this sentence sounds terrible. But after work, you will find that Emma is too smart and practical! It’s almost necessary for everyone to master it! Knock on the blackboard! Especially for those who are born with a broad mind, it is even more necessary! Like myself. I don’t like to care about my nature by nature. Many things are trivial to me, and I can pass by with a smile without leaving any traces in my heart. For example, someone made a joke on me, such as someone returned me something later than the scheduled time. If you feel that these are just trivial, then you have to be careful! Because people always judge others by their own behavior habits and mental models. If you are not a pretentious person, you will easily feel complicated, confused, and inexplicable about some things in your life. What’s more, it will offend people without knowing it, and suffer the disaster of “criminal villain”. For example, I used to be confused: Hey, I heard that there is a contradiction between A and B? Why? There is nothing that can cause conflicts every day? what? C doesn’t like D? Because D often buys the same clothes as C? As for? The boss asked me what I think of E, and I said a bunch of advantages of E, but the boss’ expression is strange. So he doesn’t like E? Because E’s team building drove better than the boss’s car? F hates G in heart? Because G called her “Sister F” instead of “Manager F”? She hates being called “sister” instead of job title? Is she because of her age or what? She is in her fifties and twenties. Isn’t she ill? …What the hell are these? ? ? These are still the thunders that have been dug out to relieve the danger, and more thunders are still deeply buried in people’s hearts. That’s “True Ray”. It took me many years to realize more and more deeply: In fact, 90% of interpersonal conflicts in life are caused by these trivial things. Rather than fighting for some unbelievable interest. In fact, many people who fail to handle their interpersonal relationships are not bad, nor deliberately provoking, but unintentional mistakes. They are not the so-called “low emotional intelligence”, but in their hearts, these things are nothing at all. In fact, there are not so many “belly of a gentleman” in life, but a lot of “belly of a villain.” Many people’s eyes are smaller than the eyes of a needle, and a word, a smile, and an inadvertent behavior from others “offend” them. The so-called high emotional intelligence, the so-called social sensitivity, is nothing more than always remembering: no matter how big or small things are, others may take them seriously! For people who are born with a forgiving heart, it is even more important to sound the alarm at all times: what you do not take seriously, others may take it seriously! You don’t know if the other party is “the belly of a gentleman” or “the belly of a villain”, right? What is certain is that if you treat the belly of a villain with the heart of a gentleman, you will be finished, right. So, the first step is to observe and understand where the “little people” are. The second step is to save the belly of the unknown with the heart of a villain. One can avoid offending someone unintentionally. The second is helpful to understand strange and complicated interpersonal relationships. Why not do it? As for you, you can continue to be a broad-minded gentleman. It doesn’t affect at all.

6 months ago

1. You may not marry love. The righteousness was once again accepted by everyone. What a wonderful love in college, it is difficult to resist all kinds of temptations after entering the society. Cherish the TA who has not broken up after graduation. 2. Only those who can’t do anything will say all day long: come to me for something. And those who can really do things, most of the time hide things. The most important thing for a truly capable person is time. And it’s too late to hide from such an extremely time-consuming thing as doing things for others, so how can you take the initiative to do it for you? 3. A good body and vigorous energy are likely to affect your life trajectory. In addition to allowing you to do more things, a healthy body and vigorous energy are also a bargaining chip for you to build your own image and fight for opportunities. 4. Don’t be afraid of anyone, don’t look down on anyone, don’t look down on yourself. Don’t be flattering when you see the rich, don’t look down on you when you see the poor, and don’t look down on yourself when you fail and encounter setbacks. In the world of pedestrians, we must be abundance and righteousness and solitude. 5. Some people just met, not friends. You don’t need to be friends with everyone. When you enter society, you will come into contact with all kinds of people, and it is necessary to maintain the relationship. But there is no need to be friends with everyone. Especially colleagues. 6. You have to do many things before you know the definite result. It’s not that you just declared the result before you did it. Do you like your career and whether the project can be completed. If you can’t contemplate and meditate all day, you will easily fall into a circle of self-doubt. Only by taking action and getting effective feedback can you get results. Don’t be afraid of trial and error. 7. It is very important to have good clothing. Appearance is natural, but the attitude towards one’s external image is determined by oneself. Take it together with Article 3 for better results. 8. Young people should choose jobs with high fault tolerance when they are young. In industries with low fault tolerance, such as entrepreneurship, selling insurance, direct selling, and MLM, graduates have basically delayed themselves. Don’t believe that sales can train people. One skill is your personal skill in walking the rivers and lakes. 9. Don’t think about exercising at the bottom and then counterattack. Most people at the bottom will be crushed, distorted, consumed, and there is no time to rise. Eating all the suffering in the world will not make you successful, it will only make you sink. There are choices to endure hardship and only do valuable things. 10. If you don’t have a clear, highly achievable goal, you are basically taking a detour. The goal is not to set the bigger the better, but to set realistic and achievable goals. For example, do 10 push-ups every day and write 50 words after reading. Persevere, and you will get closer and closer to that big goal. 11. Learning equivalent exchange and benefit conversion is a necessary test for children to adults. To give without reservation is not to be generous, but to tell others how cheap they are. Since ancient times, true heartlessness has been true. 12. Colleagues around you won’t teach you their skills at the bottom of the box. If you are lucky, you will get some pointers, but it is also very simple. The only way is to learn by yourself and improve the level of business. The basis of high-level communication is that one’s own level is high enough. 13. The resources in this world are more likely to be tilted towards those who are “unfaithful”. I was taught to behave since I was a child, but I often trap myself and miss many opportunities. In addition to breaking through the bottom line of the law, everything can be negotiated. Ignoring the rules and even challenging the rules are the common traits of many industry leaders. 14. The result is everything. If there is no credit and there is hard work, this will only be despised in this era. The sooner you accept result-oriented thinking, you will be more sober in doing things. 15. Perfectionism is sometimes a big killer of success. Every day, I wonder when is the best time to start, and how long I need to prepare before I can start. The best thing a perfectionist can do is to spin around in his perfect plan. 16. Work is not about earning “pocket money”, work is your career. Don’t think that work is painful, but see early that work will accompany life and be part of life. Take your work seriously, and your life value can be realized. 17. The small matter of starting a business can only be played with people who have the spirit of contract and those who respect the “rules of the game.” No matter how many people work, no matter how much the team is united, as long as there is an unruly person with ghosts, it will be sooner or later that it will fall apart. 18. Choice is greater than effort. 19. In a job, the most important thing is not salary or personal connections, but your growth. 20. People will change and dreams will also change. Society is also a university, and there are also scholars and scumbags. To get a high score, you still need your efforts and methods. Self-learning and self-improvement are the stepping stones to success. The consequences of refusing to study and stopping progress are 10,000 times more terrible than failing to graduate from a course. I believe in one sentence in particular: all the roads traveled counts. What you do now determines your life ten years from now.

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