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I used to be like this. I couldn’t get out of myself in my own small world. I felt dull, honest, shy, and didn’t speak. Although I enjoy this feeling sometimes, the pain and negative effects are particularly great. Later, I tried to make some changes, and gradually achieved some results. I probably talked about my ideas and some practices that I have been insisting on. I hope to help you. Let’s cheer together. There are a lot of nonsense in the answer, but as the saying goes, nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal communication. well, let’s get back to business. The most important thing to change the subject mentioned is to practice. At the early stage when I realized my personality problem, I tended to check Raiders, whether it was Baidu, Douban, or Zhihu, I checked it all over. I also asked teachers, elders, and friends how to become outgoing and lively. The answers I got were all the same, but they were of little help to me. Later, I saw this sentence in a book: “Knowledge does not necessarily change behavior. We have all seen psychologists go crazy, doctors have a big belly, and marriage counselors themselves have divorced.” This sentence really awakens the dreamer. Our more introverted people are always obsessed with why I am doing this, what caused it, and what way to solve it. It is hard to find a way and consider whether it is suitable or not. I, whether I will achieve the expected results and so on, have never taken the first step to practice. We can only get feedback if we practice, and then adjust based on this feedback, and then practice again, and then we can slowly change. The first question in practice is how to take the first step. This is very important. Everything is difficult at the beginning. As long as you take the first step and get positive feedback, it will be much easier to practice later. So how can I force myself to take the first step? It’s easy to say, force yourself. I feel that I can’t speak. It’s not that I’m really not good at speaking, but I don’t feel like I can’t agree with what I say. If I say something wrong, others think it’s okay, but I’m embarrassed to die. I have a deep understanding of this. When I participated in the lecture, I saw that the people underneath were doing their own things with their heads down. I had the courage to say a word in a crowded place, but no one responded. When I expressed my opinion, I was afraid that I would not be recognized. After finishing speaking, it would be embarrassing to be afraid that you will not be recognized after a long talk; being misled by those high emotional intelligence conversations on the Internet, every time you respond, you want to be perfect, otherwise you would rather not wait. So force yourself and summon the courage to speak. If you do anything, you will no longer be afraid; if you don’t do it, you will be afraid for the rest of your life. Don’t force yourself, you never know how good you are. However, knowing is easy and doing is hard. Sometimes I understand the truth, but I still can’t take that crucial step. Therefore, key measures need to be formulated. The key move is to put those generalized goals. Develop specific, black and white goals. For example, if you want to change your stupid and introverted situation, you make a plan to talk and communicate more with others, speak more in public, and express your opinions more. These goals are difficult to make you take the first step, and will give you many reasonable reasons for your timidity. Why are you in a bad mood today, bad luck today, and a sore throat today, you will surely repeat it tomorrow. The goal can be simple, but it must be specific and clearly practical. At the beginning, you can call a good friend every day and talk for half an hour, and gradually you can talk to an unfamiliar friend for fifteen minutes, then go to buy fruit and chat with the boss, and try it when buying clothes. Bargaining with the boss, saying hello to friends on the road, and so on. After taking this simple step, proceed step by step. Take the initiative to participate in gatherings organized by friends; raise your hand to speak in class, even if you cannot be sure that the answer is correct, under normal circumstances, the teacher will be very pleased to see students who don’t usually speak on their own initiative, regardless of whether your answer is wrong or not; In the boss, teacher, or elders to fully explain their views, even if they are not recognized in the end, this requires courage; chat with classmates or colleagues about mutual interest or recent movies, and talk about recent Weibo ; Try to chat with the opposite sex you like, put aside those EQ theories, and say whatever you think. If you have to spend your time in the mysterious period chatting at the beginning of the mysterious period, you will have to spend your time trying to make love, then you will not get along well in the future. not equal. In addition to these, one more attention should be paid. Introverts generally don’t pay attention to exercise. I’m an example. They can walk and never run. They can sit and never stand, let alone exercise regularly. From nothing to one, from laziness to regular exercise, this Very difficult, but must be overcome, of course, can not be generalized, skip this rule of regular exercise. If you don’t like going to the gym at first, start with jogging, push-ups, and squats. Because socializing is a very energy-consuming thing. In many cases, it is not that you don’t want to talk or socialize, but you have insufficient energy and are tired of coping. At the beginning, you are forced to talk more and appear in front of others, which also consumes a lot of energy. . Regular scientific exercise is particularly important. It can ensure that when you are energetic, you can force yourself to socialize. Then, let’s talk about dullness. First, look for your most comfortable expression in the mirror and practice often; you also need to stand and sit and sit. You can let your friends take pictures or videos, and then you can adjust them according to the video and walk. The posture is too. The other is to change the state of indecision. When someone asks a question or gives two choices to choose one of them, they often get stuck in long-term thinking. It does not mean that you can’t think, but you can add some relaxation in the thinking process. Speaking, if you don’t want to or it is difficult to respond, learning to refuse is also a required course. It’s hard to be honest in this regard, and I’m also trying to explore an improvement method that suits me. It is worth emphasizing the importance of exercise, energetic and full of vitality, the attitude and posture will naturally change, and the thinking will become quicker. Finally talk about some bits and pieces. Pack yourself up before going out, at least to be clean and tidy. Eye contact can be practiced with best friends or brothers and sisters. “Talking eyes” is a social tool. Cultivate self-confidence, knowing that there are many good answers on how to become confident. While pursuing extroversion, keep a true self. These are some of my own feelings and thoughts, not very comprehensive, I think about it even more. If you don’t agree, you can discuss it friendly, thank you.

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
7 months ago

Let me just say one thing: dull, honest, and introverted is not a shortcoming, but a characteristic. If you think it is a shortcoming friend, you don’t need to look down. I can’t provide any way to become extroverted, smart, and accommodating. Search a lot of relevant courses, books, and methodology on the market. There is no need to waste time with me. All I can tell you is one thing. Knowing yourself and accepting yourself are the most important tasks in our life. I was also a tangled man. I struggle with my lack of self-confidence, my introversion, my chattering on the Internet, and my doggedness in front of strangers. I went to find a lot of books and did exercises according to the methods in the books. I force myself to communicate, socialize, and play roles that I don’t know well. I consumed a lot of time and energy, and on the surface it seemed to be part of the group, but I was not happy. I think what they accept and recognize is me in disguise. Once I show my true self one day, they will stay away from me, hate me, and despise me. I have no sense of belonging or identity. My mask became thicker and thicker, and my life became more and more tired. My heart is barren and overgrown with weeds. When I was in the crowd, I still felt very lonely. Even though I am talking and laughing with others on the surface, but praying in my heart, it’s about to end, I want to go home and play on my phone in bed. Until one day, I saw a passage from the anti-pants position. If you are too shy to express yourself and lack an indisputable self-confidence, then you are not the kind of person who can obtain resources and achieve success through active social interaction. Recognizing this, you can save a lot of energy and emotions. I am relieved. I am not an extrovert. Why should I go against my own nature? I do not please myself, accept myself, and who do I expect to accept me. I reached a settlement with myself. I no longer force myself to act as someone else, and no longer force myself to socialize. I spend my time alone, reading books, watching dramas, writing, and sleeping. I’m much happier and a lot easier. My truth attracts friends like me. With them, I can joke wantonly or say nothing. It can be the focus or the background board. Of course, it is inevitable that some people with broken mouths say that I am too withdrawn and that I am not gregarious. But who care I know what my true self is like, I like my true self, and I accept my true self. Other people’s rumors can no longer hurt me. Finally, I will give you a very useful but very useful sentence: know yourself and accept yourself, you can become the best version of yourself. mutual encouragement!

heloword
7 months ago

In the past, I always struggled with myself. I felt too honest and not smooth enough. I also tried to change. I wanted to become like a fish in the water in interpersonal relationships. I also envied the clever tongues of others. Later, after experiencing many things, reading many people, and reading many books, I slowly discovered that why people always have doubts and dissatisfaction with themselves. Most of the reasons are due to the insufficient understanding and construction of oneself. It means that you must first understand yourself, establish a complete personality for yourself, and have your own attitude and position towards the world and the people and things around you. Only then will you reduce your doubts, and naturally you will have the answer to this question in your heart.

helpyme
7 months ago

This article is about 2000 words, please read every word carefully. It is no exaggeration to say that this article may change your life for an introvert. I have helped hundreds of introverted people, and they have built up confidence and can fully express their thoughts on stage.. Many people will equate introverted personality with not being able to speak. In fact, they are wrong.. After coming out of the mixed society, I not only found that many excellent leaders are introverts, such as Tencent’s Ma Huateng and Zhang Xiaolong, including Einstein. I even said that I have seen a million-dollar sales champion who is also introverted… Once our team signed up for an offline get out of class to learn a two-day offline sales course with him. He has a detail that particularly impresses me. When class starts at 9:00, he will ask me on WeChat at 8:55, “Where are you, do you want him to come and pick me up…” With 100 students, he still remembered to care about me, which was really touched. After the two-day offline get out of class ended, because I recommended him successfully recommended users, it didn’t take long for me to receive a gift pack of high snacks for one person. I would feel “Wow, what a surprise..” .Introverts may not talk much, unlike extroverts, who go out to socialize all day long and have endless words. However, it also means that they have stronger empathy, and they know what others want to hear. To express this matter is never said as much as possible. On the contrary, it is easier for people with introverts to say a word. 02 Introverts, stronger empathy. In fact, a person’s personality is too extroverted, and it is easy to persuade others habitually, ignoring the importance of listening. I used to do this often…such as the classic line of the overbearing president Huang Xiaoming.. “I don’t want you to think, I want me to think” Catherine’s book “Compassion” mentions, “Compassion is to Expand your life into the lives of others, put your ears in the souls of others, and listen to the most eager whispers there…” The articles in the We Media in my circle of friends are well written, and there are a number of daily lives. China doesn’t communicate with people very much. But they have endless words online, they are particularly sensitive to other people’s emotions, and they are very aware of other people’s inner desires. We pay attention to what the other person wants, so that we can give the other person what the other person really needs. I have a student who hasn’t finished college and came to Shenzhen with 2,000 yuan to find a job. At the beginning, she worked as a foreign trade documentary in a factory for 5 years, and her income did not exceed 6,000 yuan. At the worst time, a little girl had to go to the warehouse to move the goods by herself… Later she started to sell digital products on Amazon and made her first pot of gold. She now has her own factory with more than 100 people. The team, Li Jiaqi also helped them sell goods live. What’s more, because she was treated unfairly by her boss in the early factory, every classmate in her company was treated well, and she was fully respected, and her colleagues recognized her. The first time I saw her was at a friend’s birthday party, she looked ugly, and only after chatting did she discover that they were really awesome. And I will find that she actually has a lot of stories, and then under my sorting out, he sorted out his own story in 10 minutes, and told us it again, everyone applauded her, because the story is really It is wonderful. She is a female classmate with a story, but she didn’t realize it before. 033 tips to help the introverted you improve your expressive skills-self-acceptance, just talk as you want, and be alone at other times. –Understand that introversion is a kind of personality, and expression is a kind of ability–Try to write a paragraph or two in your circle of friends every day–Accept yourself, just talk as you want, and be alone at other times. I have a friend who is an entrepreneur who is doing new media training. He told me a story. He himself belongs to the kind of “people who talk to people for an hour and lie on the floor for three hours.” I Now I begin to understand them in particular. For introverted students, communicating with people consumes energy, but being alone can help them restore energy. You don’t need to change your personality, or think that the introversion itself is an expression barrier. –Understanding introversion is a kind of personality, and speaking is a kind of ability. For you who may be a little bit introverted and not very good at expressing, the one thing I want to tell you most is: Introversion is a kind of personality, and speaking is a kind of ability. In every offline speech class, there will always be students who say: “I am more introverted, so the level of speech is not good.” When we think that the introvert is equivalent to not being able to speak, we close the door to progress. Up. I now remember that once I finished an offline get out of class, an introverted programmer stood up and said, “Teacher He Jia, the two-day course, my biggest gain is not how many skills I have learned, but that I am more willing to influence others. I realized that introversion is not an excuse for me not to express. On the contrary, expression is an ability that I can improve.” Personality is difficult to change, and ability can be learned. –Try to write a paragraph or two in the circle of friends every day. Sometimes we are reluctant to express it because we think it’s too difficult to express it. I feel that I should first bathe and burn incense, find a particularly quiet place, and devote a day to writing an article or preparing a speech. In fact, when you chat with your friends, telling an interesting story is an expression…you write a paragraph in your circle of friends and express a point of view is also an expression. Recently, I myself have been practicing how to write a paragraph in the circle of friends so that others can type the word “identification”. If you do it, you will find that it is not as difficult as you think. Summary: Many people who are introverts are particularly powerful, earning millions or even tens of millions…Introverts are better at listening, we will have longer-term focus, and are less susceptible to the environment in one thing. Distracted and affected. Always remember this sentence: Introversion is a character, and speaking is an ability.

sina156
7 months ago

I have a say on this question! Look at me answering more than 1,700 questions in Zhihu for 5 months. The creation level is almost 10. When the doctor diagnosed my chronic pharyngitis, I was too nagging. However, I was dull and introverted before university, so I told How do you change. First of all, I don’t know how old you are. These symptoms of yours are in line with my personality before university. In fact, before university, I have been suppressing the real me, because I live in the countryside and I have known since I was a child that “the college entrance examination is the only way to change my destiny.” “So when I was very young, college entrance examination was my only goal. I seldom communicate with people, except to exchange questions, because other unrelated studies are useless. Therefore, when I went to university, the burden on my body was relieved, and opportunities for change began to appear. Secondly, when you want to change in your heart, you have to practice more. “It’s easy to get on paper and you have to practice it.” You can practice and communicate more to get better at communicating with others. When you communicate and communicate with others more After that, EQ will naturally increase gradually, knowing what can be said and what cannot be said. In addition, the most important thing is that I want to be able to talk and bring me the biggest change, and that is reading! Read more. I have at least 40 or 50 books every year in the university. I spend my days in the university library. There are a lot of books in the library. Some of them are not available online. When you read too many books, Sanmao said Words: “When I read too much, my face will change naturally. Many times, I may think that the books I have read have become a cloud of smoke and no longer remember. In fact, they are still in the latent temperament, in the conversation, and in the boundless mind. Of course It may also be revealed in life and words”. I deeply agree. To sum up, change requires inner drive and practice, plus abundance of thoughts, and the combination of the three. Believe me, you will meet a dream self, come on!

yahoo898
7 months ago

I have always been plagued by a problem. It’s not that I suddenly became a bald girl when I woke up early in the morning, or that I stepped on shit and walked forward with difficulty. No one can ask for help… It’s my poor interpersonal skills due to my introversion… Since I remembered when I was a child, I didn’t like to talk and seldom played with other people. Compared to playing with them, I liked anime more and the other One is painting. Almost every day, my parents tell me to be more enthusiastic when seeing people, go to classmates if there is nothing to do, and don’t stay alone in the house, because such a person will suffer in the future society. I know they are doing me good, but deep in my heart, I resist all this and don’t like such unreality, but there is no way, I did it. Yes, yes, you must have guessed the next result: I lost myself. I lost the tranquility that belonged to me, lost what I thought was right, and achieved a ‘pleasant personality’. I began to spend a lot of time with people, and started to capture the expressions on their faces. As long as they showed unhappy expressions on their faces during the chat, I would habitually think whether I said something wrong. , Did something wrong, and then fell into an endless loop of self-blame mode. I am in pain, really painful… For so many years, no one has ever told me that there is nothing wrong with being introverted. On the contrary, the words I have received the most are: the extroversion you want to show, you have to say hello to people…until you go After college, I found that introversion taught me to enjoy loneliness, and I began to love this feeling. It gives me more time to think deeply, more time to understand myself, and more time to develop and improve myself. I have learned to pay attention to my personal feelings and satisfy my own needs. I like to walk alone listening to music. I like to enjoy the joy after running alone. I like to go back to my bedroom and close the curtains to do what I like (the most recent favorite is watching TED talks)… .Perhaps this is the reason why I also like the role of Miyamura in the anime. When I was a child, I was always rejected by the surroundings, but he didn’t hate the world around him. What he hated was himself. He had several piercings in his ears. I buried myself, so much so that I only found out that I was a handsome guy when I went to high school. Miyamura is very gentle. In many cases, the first thing he considers is the needs of others, and when he helps others achieve it, he is silly and happy. If things are not done, they will repeatedly blame themselves. Fortunately, when he met Rise in high school, he had what he wanted to maintain the most and his life improved. This episode has a deep feeling for me. For me, this episode is not a love episode, but a healing episode. Introversion is not a defect, it is a gift to you. According to scientific research, one-third to one-half of the people in the world are introverts, that is, there will be an introvert among every three people, even if you are an extrovert. Scientific research has found that there are two important chemical substances in the human brain, one is dopamine and the other is acetylcholine. Dopamine is more in demand for extroverts, but it will be more sensitive to introverts and will soon be overexcited. Introverts prefer acetylcholine, which is meaningless to extroverts. It can bring alertness, peace and tranquility to introverts. Satisfy. Many people have a lot of misunderstandings about introverts, thinking that introverts are cold and don’t like socializing. In fact, they will also like interpersonal communication. They just don’t like superficial greetings. They think that this kind of communication hinders deep and real interaction between people. They pay more attention to the need for long-term high-quality Friendship, but after a period of time, introverts need more time to recharge themselves. There are many prejudices against introverts in this world. Overall, this world is simply made for extroverts. Teachers like students who actively speak in class, relatives like talking children, and more people like people who can make a lot of noise with them, and introverts are the easiest to be ignored and even considered problem children. Even 65% of executives in a company believe that introverts are less successful than extroverts. But the well-known Van Gogh, Lincoln, and Edison are all winners of introverts, so if there are no introverts in this world, it will become unbalanced, and the creativity of this world will also decline. There are no absolute extroverts and absolute introverts in this world. The introverted character gives us many benefits, enables us to have more in-depth thinking, enables us to have more abundant creativity, makes us better at capturing the psychological changes of others and has a strong empathy ability. Therefore, what is wrong is not the introversion itself, but the world’s prejudice against introverts. Come on, introverted you, let go of your prejudice against introverts and accept yourself calmly! Just as Gandhi said, “You can shake the whole world in a gentle way” May you be treated tenderly by this world

leexin
7 months ago

Tell me about me. When I was just in high school, I blushed when I talked on stage. I thought it was a natural problem that I couldn’t change, but it was not. I usually see that my classmates are very good, and I don’t have a low self-esteem, but after half a semester, I have slowly adapted to it. I chatted with most of them. I didn’t panic when I was preparing for the opening of the class in advance, because and They are very kind when they are familiar with them, and they encourage you to be better. During college, they actually taught me to listen less and speak more. If you speak more, you will lose. Therefore, the first thing to advise you is to play more with people who tolerate you. Those who hit you look down on you and hide away. Who can’t look at someone like a pile of shit? You have to set up your own image, have yourself in the center of your eyes, and don’t minimize yourself in the opinions of others. Secondly, the second thing to advise you is not to pay too much attention to the opinions of others and to look at your own strengths. If you can do it, slowly learn to let yourself go. Sometimes what you lack is shameless energy. You just think that I have been seen by people like this. If you want to make a change, it will only get better. Try to talk to people more and participate in more outdoor activities, and your mentality will change. Finally, I advise you to be patient and take the initiative to make some changes. Change is never an overnight thing, but you must not give up. You have to improve yourself bit by bit, make more friends, read more, exercise more, listen to other people’s ideas and opinions. These are all important, sometimes not. Talking means reading less, thinking too much and melancholy means life is too closed, all of which can only be achieved by accumulating steps. Self-confidence is the beginning of getting better, and it is also the direction of hard work. Usually, overcoming psychological barriers, participating in more social activities, talking with multiple people, everything will become better naturally. The premise is that you have to learn to start first, and the first step is the most difficult.

greatword
7 months ago

Like you, as an introvert, I always admire extroverts who are like a fish in water when socializing, and always want to make changes. But when I am in social situations, I try to put on the mask of an extrovert and imitate the extrovert to talk to others. All I felt was exhaustion. I began to wonder, is it really good to change my character? I began to examine myself, the strengths and weaknesses that my character brings to me. I found that what really needs to be changed is not the introverted personality, but the shortcomings brought about by the introvert. The following are the results after self-examination, and I hope to share with you: 1. As an introvert, I am very sensitive to external stimuli, so I like to think twice before doing things to avoid being stimulated. Advantages: think twice before acting, better grasp the development direction of things, and prevent things from getting worse. Disadvantages: Too much thinking, always imagine the worsening event results, resulting in not daring to act. Solution: Improve your ability to act. Not only think about the bad consequences, but also think about the good ones. Since you have thought about so much and came up with the best answer, why not act? 2. When socializing unfamiliarly, I prefer to listen to others, and then think in my heart, considering the possible opinions that may affect others, and will not easily express opinions. Pros: Good at thinking, drawing the best conclusions, caring about others, like thinking about others. Disadvantages: Because you are worried that your own views will contradict others’ views, making others feel uncomfortable, you simply give up expressing your views. Solution: You can first observe whether others can accept other people’s opinions (whether they are good or sane), and then decide whether to express their opinions, and don’t beat all people into good ones. If you find that the other person is a sane person, encourage yourself to express your opinions. 3. Before doing things, I like to think about plans first, hoping to complete things without making mistakes. Advantages: Have analytical ability and hope to work in a meticulous and orderly manner. Disadvantages: The requirements are too high and hinder the ability to act. Solution: Appropriately reduce the requirements, improve the ability to act, understand that making mistakes is human nature, and mistakes can help me avoid mistakes next time. 4. When looking at things, you can always see the dark side of things. Advantages: There is depth in understanding things and the dark side of things, so you can deal with things more easily and prevent being hurt by the dark side. Disadvantages: always see the dark side of things, which makes the heart easy to be pessimistic. Solution: Try to look at things from different angles, explore the positive side of things, balance the two, and prevent pessimism. 5. When facing problems, he likes to think independently, and he does not want to take the initiative to seek help from others. Advantages: Ability to think independently, not easily dependent on others. Disadvantages: When encountering a problem, due to lack of self-cognition, it is impossible to think about the answer, and finally the problem is getting bigger and bigger and unable to be solved. Solution: When you encounter a problem and can’t think of the answer, take the initiative to seek help from others; usually read more and think more to improve your own cognitive level. Introversion is a character. It is not a shortcoming that we need to change. It brings us both advantages and disadvantages. What we need to do is to discover our own strengths and solve our own shortcomings. When you find that you have so many advantages and you have solved your shortcomings, what reason do you have for not being confident? Introverts have many advantages waiting for us to discover. If you discover new advantages, you must tell me in the comment section.

loveyou
7 months ago

3000 words to share my transformation along the way, from inferiority and dullness to transcendence and becoming a confident self! I understand the dilemma of the subject, in fact, most of our ordinary people have this innate character! Comparing the people who have been shaped by ordinary circumstances with those who have good family environment, our shortcomings such as low self-esteem seem to be taken for granted! I study psychology. According to the theory of Alfred Adler, the founder of individual psychology, Adler believes that as an individual of the whole, he will act with the goal of pursuing superiority and want to escape weakness. The state of powerlessness and the desire to become more superior is an obvious desire that everyone has (“Adler Psychology Lectures”). . Adler believes that everyone has these two complexes: “The pursuit of superiority or low self-esteem is not a disease in itself. They will stimulate health and normal efforts and growth. So low self-esteem is normal, and so is the pursuit of change. It is normal that we should first face ourselves sincerely and face our inferiority and desires. Only when we truly accept our inferiority can we partner with transcendence and constantly break through ourselves! Let me share my example first. In elementary school, I’m from the countryside, and I’m not inferior to myself when I am with a group of people in big cities? Of course I am inferior. I don’t dare to speak or can’t speak. I want to be friends with them but I’m afraid of being rejected! I’m just a dull, introvert , I don’t have any friends. Later I met a Chinese teacher that I particularly like. With his encouragement, I slowly dared to express myself in class. This is a small breakthrough! But later, at that time, our school wanted to record the teacher’s The video of the class, and when my Chinese teacher’s video was sent to the Ministry of Education, he was directly transferred to a middle school in Beijing to serve as a teacher! So she faced a difference, and she said goodbye to us in the last class. I still remember He praised me that I was a child with great potential. The feeling of being recognized made me feel at ease and compensated for my low self-esteem! When the teacher left, a new Chinese teacher was exchanged with him. Be right, make trouble, and study hard. Let’s start surfing the Internet, play games, stay out at night, fight, and be with classmates in mixed society. I don’t know why this might be to find a kind of company to gain a sense of security. Well, at that time, I was addicted to playing games. My parents were basically stocking me, but I still couldn’t stand it anymore. Once I was caught and let me kneel on the ground for 2 hours, and took the iron chain to my back 5 or 6 times. , I still remember,,, so I always understand that the seemingly dull and introverted character is because of my low self-esteem, and all my rebellious behavior is also because of my low self-esteem, so I need to compensate in another incorrect way. In junior high school, maybe the people who played games with me are gone. The pleasure of playing games together is gone, so the games are not played anymore. It is pure boring. So I have been a good boy for three years in junior high school, studying and writing homework. It is normal until 1 o’clock in the evening. Now think about it, that might be the time when I worked hardest, but I was obedient, studied well, and was paid attention and value to compensate for my low self-esteem, but this was fundamentally resolved. Is my inferiority complex? No, I have not lived for myself at all. I live in the eyes of my parents and teachers. I study hard just to get their approval. I have never lived for myself. Who am I? It’s just a parent’s child, a teacher’s student, but it’s not me who I am now. I know that I was suppressing a strong desire to realize myself at that time, but I was suppressed in high school, and all this began to explode. When I started to experience the setbacks and sufferings, I realized how inferior I was and how sad it was! When I was a freshman in high school, I fell in love with a girl who was my tablemate, and now I know that he is a green tea. (Others told me), she liked me at first, I slowly treated her I felt ambiguous, knowing that I wanted her to confess, she said she didn’t believe it, and dragged on for 3 months. During this period, we were so ambiguous until the whole class thought we were together, and her suitors gave up one after another. But she didn’t give me an answer for a long time, until finally I asked her to give me an answer of rejection forcibly. Doesn’t it mean rejection if I don’t accept it? I need an answer to end. Later, we also ended the relationship at the same table. What is even more unforgettable is that every time she sits with her in the future, she can be ambiguous with her, and confessed to her, but they were all rejected. Think I’m still a little better? At least it was because she was willing to refuse. Afterwards, we were like strangers. If nothing happened, but I was alone and in trouble. To be honest, I really like the feeling of being cared by her, just like the way my elementary school Chinese teacher cares about me. , Has been changing, I have inspired me to be strong and since we are no longer sitting together, watching her and his table joking, my depression also started from that time, from autumn to winter until Only came out in the spring of the second year, during which time he treated himself by various methods. It was really the lowest point in my life during that time, and I never wanted to endure that kind of suffering for the second time. I don’t care about studying, I run away in class every day, and I can’t concentrate. I went from the first 10 grades to nearly 400 in grade 300, but I didn’t care about grades during that time. It didn’t matter at all. During the day for some reason, I used various methods to joke and slap around with the people in the dormitory, so crazy that I didn’t even know that it was me in such a restless state. Just like that, I didn’t get along with them. When I ate, I was alone sitting in the crowd of people. Going back to bed alone, slowly learning to walk alone in the dark night, feeling the loneliness and solitude of a person and the coldness of this cold autumn and winter, the whole person is very negative. But this is nothing. There are two things that make me most uncomfortable in depression. 1 Appetite, I don’t know because I can’t eat half of my meal and I suddenly feel like vomiting when I swallow the food. The frequency is very frequent at that time. Until my weight dropped from about 120 to 96 to less than 100 kilograms, I was a boy at a height of 178 cm, and I looked listless, thin and gloomy, with a very bad facial complexion. 2 When I went to bed at night, I was wearing a watch. I couldn’t sleep at night for several weeks. Not only I couldn’t fall asleep, but my thinking was very active, especially at three or four o’clock. I couldn’t fall asleep at all. About your and my past. I opened my eyes and looked at the top bunk bed in a whimsical mood. The feeling of being surrounded by darkness but not feeling any abnormality or fear at all has become the conscious inertia I still have now, but it is really uncomfortable and I want to sleep. If you don’t, you can sleep very shallowly, and you can be awakened with a little movement. And even though he was not too sleepy during the day, his concentration was not concentrated and he was alive in a trance. So where was my only salvation then? It is a book that allows me to divert all my abnormal emotions and concentrate on reading. So, in order to save myself, I went crazy reading, and I basically never heard of it. First of all, I copied some poems about love, and I started to recite them, Magpie Bridge Fairy, Yanqiu Ci, Jiang Chengzi, Dielianhua, etc. Later, the reciting from my mobile phone was not enough for me. So I bought the first and second volume of Song Ci. It has two fingers thick. I read one scroll in one fall and winter, and found my favorite one to recite. I memorized a total of 185 poems. I memorized it during meals, early reading, and before going to bed. Because at that time, in my opinion, the only people who really understood me and had the same pain, the same sensitivity and affection as me were those poets and poets. Among them, Liu Yong, Nalan Xingde were the best, Qin Guan and Li Qingzhao. , Yan Shu, Yan Jidao, more sad. In addition to books of poetry and words, there are also literary works, which are required readings in high school, which will be read in three weeks without interruption. At this time, I already felt addicted to reading. Originally there were some classes at that time, and I still wrote some homework. Slowly, affected by the book addiction, I blatantly studied in the math evening class of the head teacher. Anyway, he I can’t see it, and I don’t want to listen. I remember that I read a lot of books at that time. Except for some necessary studies and homework, most of the self-study classes and the teacher’s class were not taken to heart. They were all used for reading, with a book on Thursday. The speed is sweeping. There are a total of nearly 60 books going back and forth. This is the moment when I read the most frequently and most frequently since I was born. Just add books to the time. Autumn to winter is coming, and the winter vacation is past and the beginning of spring. I walked out of you. In the first semester of high school, although I was alone, I was used to it and started to study hard. When I was divided into classes, I returned to the pinnacle of learning at the 7th place in the liberal arts. This is how I and you are, maintaining an indifferent relationship. Oh, by the way, that winter vacation, in order to completely let go of everything in the past, I burned our chat textbook with fire, and watched it turn to ashes, just like a dream after a vigorous relationship between us. You and I have been completely gone, and my growth has stopped. So far, it’s almost 3000 words. In fact, there are still three things that I didn’t say. One is about disillusionment, my struggle between illusion and reality, and the other is my brother’s illness, which has been unconscious for 2 months. The vegetable gave me One is a girl I met on the subway who asked me for WeChat, which exposed me to the grays of this society. Let’s stop here and make a summary. I understand that all my stupid, non-spoken and introverted originate from me. My inferiority complex hides my longing! Understand this, make a change from here! Named therapy is also used here! And from my high school experience, it can be seen that I achieved self-transcendence when I was in pain. Numerous sinkings were just for awakening, and this was just the beginning. It just made me stop. The real awakening is the next thing. Things made me find myself. If I really want to change, I must experience pain first. I think the subject must have experienced painful things when asking this question before thinking about changing. If it is not the painful reality, we How can you refuse the past ease? Sinking is not terrible, and low self-esteem is not terrible. What we are afraid of is that we are only half. It is difficult to have a real desire to change without experiencing complete despair! There is still a lot to say. I wrote nearly 30,000 words on the official account myself. If you are interested, you can come to me to see the official account. Li Xunyi will not let you down. For those who are really proud to change yourself People!

strongman
7 months ago

In fact, the dull personality has been basically formed in the process of growth, and I am also like this. I have the same distress as you and want to change. But how to say, everyone has their own personal strengths and weaknesses. Quietness in the crowd seems to many people. Commendable. There is no need to deliberately change yourself, try some things you like, in that field you will find that you will become super active and talkative, the bigger you are, the more comfortable you will find to communicate with people with similar spirits. . After all, the words are not too speculative. After a long time at work, you will find that you were not good at speaking before, and the official courtesy will always be a little bit. Even if it is a fur, but at work, do your own thing and be friendly with others. This is the important thing. If you touch If you reach a good leader, he will tell the difference. Come on!

stockin
7 months ago

I used to be a relatively introverted and non-talkative person. It may be because of my slow personality that I am more suitable to be a listener in life, but when I stay silent for a long time, it will make others feel dull and boring.also read a lot of books because of this, thinking that “there is poetry and books in my belly”, and one day he will speak with a blockbuster. But it failed. The reason is simple: I don’t want to say it. Some words are rubbed on the tip of the tongue so many times that they can’t be vomited out; some suggestions are repeated in the mind, imagining countless situations and possible dialogues, but even embarrassed to say hello; when quarreling with others, it’s obvious. On the Internet, there can be witty words, but in reality, the words are not first swallowed. Stacked up in this way, the accumulation of emotions will make people feel more and more inferior. Until one day, because of certain circumstances in the mall, arguing with people, I don’t know if you will have this problem: there are always people talking and making you feel uncomfortable. You can’t say it. You obviously have a plan in your mind, but you can only talk with your voice. Whoever speaks louder, or just weakly defend, just want to solve it quickly without worrying about anything. But afterwards, I was particularly aggrieved. I am, and because of this, I vowed to change myself.Sum up a few experiences, I hope everyone will be correct: One, mentality: the first sentence of every day to get up, give yourself a breath.Most people’s personalities are acquired, and people who don’t dare to speak are usually not confident in themselves.This is how I did this: Following a twenty-one-day habit principle, I will find a point to praise myself every day. For example, I woke up early today, which was great; I dressed beautifully today; sometimes I went to the animal protection to visit cats and dogs, and I would feel from the bottom of my heart that I helped them and I was very kind. Combine my own strengths to compliment. It may be that I am really narcissistic, and slowly I dared to make suggestions, because I no longer feel that I am an unrecognized person, at least when I speak, I recognize myself.2. Socialization: Most people who are not good at talking will refuse to socialize. After all, socializing is a very energy-consuming task. Even now I, to a certain extent, refuse useless social interaction, even if it may offend people.But the most fearful thing is that she offends people in communication without knowing it. Think about this picture: She is sharing things with you, chatting very happily, and hopes to get your approval. And you don’t know how to respond with a stiff smile, you just want to avoid here and find a place where there is no one to sit until the end.——I didn’t even dare to ask to leave first. I was like this before. Various reasons for wanting to leave have been circulated in my mind. Some people make a phone call and pretend to have something to do; there are other things that are uncomfortable, but I am embarrassed to say it, so I can only hold on. .Until later, I changed my mind: If I can’t speak, at least I can listen: When others are happy, smile and look straight into her eyes, smile sincerely, and return kindness. Believe me, many times people are tolerant enough, especially when you are sincere and kind, and she will not run to embarrass you when you have no interests. Everyone is not so busy.Then I will report my own ugliness first: “I am not very good at talking. If you say something that makes you uncomfortable, you can tell me and I will change it.”! ! ! Believe me, this sentence is really useful. I don’t know if it is useful to others, but it can be a hint to yourself: I have been vaccinated, so I should be able to say a little more? That’s how I am, speaking of myself from the last person in the party as a chatter. But remember: Don’t talk about her personnel, but praise others for kindness. If you talk too much, you will find that your popularity will become better, and if your popularity is better, you will be more confident again. This is a virtuous circle.三. Practice;How to practice? In fact, the most important thing is to put yourself in a certain environment and force yourself to take the first step. For example, places with crowds of people, such as places where you need to trouble others. I exercised Haidilao where I went, and ate myself as a member of the Black Sea. Sisters: I’m sorry I don’t need to hug the bear; don’t bother, I want to be quiet; I’m sorry I don’t need to help, I just do it myself. Isn’t this place a good place to exercise rejection? ! If you want to ask for something, they are the tools for every request. It’s a little harder to be a princess in it, but it’s quite easy to be a kid. Going to more places can be extended to other places. You will find that rejections and requests are actually the same. Some things are what they should do as a profession, and their thinking changes naturally. There are also gymnasiums: please help adjust the equipment by the on-site coach, or communicate and communicate with people under the guise of applying for a class. Most of the service industry coaches are actually quite good, at least when you are speaking, you can’t detect what’s wrong. Yes, this can also improve your ability to observe words and colors.Then there is the park. I don’t know how many people are like me. Sometimes I’m frustrated and I like talking to those old ladies who go to the park to hang out. Except for some not so good, most of the old ladies are actually very gentle and generous, especially in life. experience. If you have more time, you can suggest going to places such as small animal protection bases, orphanages, and nursing homes. You will really discover the multidimensional aspects of the world.Fourth, reading ;As I said before, I am a person who likes to read books. This reading is not limited to reading novels or classics. But as long as the characters can communicate, it is worth learning. Because the language dialogues written by each author contain their own systematic behavioral logic. At the same time, I read more, and I really have more thoughts, ideas and methods in my heart. They can’t help you solve introversion, but they can improve your self-confidence on the side. Especially, when you get rid of psychological shackles one day, you will naturally find the beauty from it, and you will naturally be more willing to expand in depth.Here you can read more books that are helpful to thinking ability, or books on emotional intelligence and psychology. Specific ones are not recommended. You can search for reading recommendations first. If I need to recommend, I can leave a comment below, and I can give recommendations based on what I have seen. 5. The most important thing: The attitude question is actually similar to the above mentality. I don’t know if I have ever thought about it like this. Ha: I always envy others, this one is better than me, this one is better than me doing things, speaking more beautifully than me; what about this person With such a quick mind, I can immediately think of Daren’s words; for the same thing, she/he is more empathetic than me.-none of the above matters. As a unique and one-of-a-kind individual, please believe that you absolutely have your own advantages, and others cannot replace them. Although you can’t notice it, those who can associate with you must be very clear to your friends who treat each other sincerely. If you are not sure, you can call and ask your parents, they are really everyone’s (advantage scanner), and they will definitely not be stingy with praise. So, don’t care about what others are like, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself! Find ways to make up for what you lack, instead of looking for confidence from others.To say something cruel and realistic-“Someone will do better than you”, and what you have to do is-not to be left behind.   Regarding other things, remember this sentence: “Smiles often, good luck comes naturally”~ I wish everyone can become who you like.

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