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After all, marriage is not as simple as adding a pair of chopsticks. It’s good to cook a bowl of noodles by yourself and add a poached egg. But, someone broke into your life. You stared at the gurgling water in the pot. He said, let’s shabu hot pot, right? You say, okay. Then, garland chrysanthemum spinach baby cabbage, fish balls, crab sticks and kelp, fat beef and mutton fish tofu, yuba yellow throat and hairy belly, duck blood pancake noodles, louvered duck intestines and small seafood. The clear soup is still spicy, the cola is still sprite, the coriander is still chopped green onion, whoever brushes the pots and pans covered with red oil, you see, there are many choices, if you like a person, that person will become your exception In the end, it’s like you like Mala Tang, don’t be spicy, don’t be spicy, don’t be hot, it’s weird. One day, a girl asked me, he hates durians, I like durian crispy life, how to choose? He is allergic to spicy food, but I am not a fan of spicy food. How to choose? He is afraid of dogs. I have a dog that has been raised for 5 years. How to choose? His parents disagree, I really want to marry him, how can I choose? In a relationship, the most difficult thing to deal with is not this kind of advancing and retreating relationship? When he clashes with all the likes in my world, how should I choose? How can I evaluate everything he likes? How to choose? Don’t use your own sacrifices to kidnap each other’s feelings, don’t let your choice become pressure on the other person, don’t blame yourself for your inability at the moment, don’t make a wrong choice, don’t expect every compromise to be rewarded, don’t feel that you are always paying , Don’t pretend to be generous, you have to know that in this tangled choice, you are not the only victim. Being in love is actually the ability of two people to get along with everything that is bad. You will encounter a lot of things that conflict with your own cognition. You don’t need a vigorous reason to separate. Persistence must be very tiring, and it’s cool to escape. You can’t Stand for a few years to see your current choices. So, if you choose, you have to choose. Regret is useless, regret is useless. What’s useful is that you are willing to take responsibility for this choice. When I was young, I always felt that love was the greatest. I walked and found that life was the greatest. We couldn’t integrate into each other’s life. Everyone was very tired with a lonely love. Internal friction alone consumes all our yearning for love. We can’t always rely on tolerance, compromise, and sacrifice, these grievances to maintain love. We have all forgotten that we only wanted a bowl of noodles with poached eggs, and there is a person in this world who would let us give him half a bowl of noodles and half a poached egg. He smiled and gave you a cup. Milk tea, just the taste you like, nothing more. What does a good relationship look like? You never worried that he would leave you, even if you had a fierce fight. You never worried that he would leave you in the cold, even if you sent a WeChat message, he didn’t reply for a day. You never worry that he will blame you, even if you break the vase on the dining table and sprinkle flowers all over the floor. Yes, I said it’s a good idea to raise a little dog together after marriage, and sing hi song happily, but, under the coercion and temptation of life, you quietly fell down. Who can bear this anger, you must speak with a small mouth to demonstrate , I’ll show you grievances. Don’t say it, it’s cute with a small mouth, it’s hard to end if you don’t kiss it. Those couples who walk far enough will have disagreements and quarrels at the intersection, will also push the last piece of braised pork on the plate to each other, will be confused about what tomorrow is like, and will quietly save 100 yuan in the bank card again and again. , Sulking because of the other party’s incomprehension, and happily like a child because the other party hugs for a while. Anger is true, forgiveness is true, awkwardness is true, frankness is true, it is very comfortable to be with you, and it is true. Only a little fool will collect disappointment again and again. In recent years, in our new understanding, it seems that marriage has begun to become a very bad thing. How bad is it. It has been consuming our economic foundation, consuming our love and trust, consuming our patience and energy, arguing slowly, not understanding, and complaining. Later, some people hurriedly withdrew from the marriage group chat. Then they began to complain to people around them that getting married is a very bad thing, and it will make you a restless person. Do you say that the marriage is consuming his confidence, or is he not saving the confidence for the marriage? Marriage is not our weakness, it is not our weakness, it is not our burden. It gives us a new way of life. It is good to cook a bowl of noodles and add a poached egg, but one person brought it to you. Marinated tomatoes, spicy oil, fried sauce, it turns out that a bowl of noodles can have so much imagination. Yes, no one can take your noodle cooking ability. What are you afraid of? What is marriage? It doesn’t seem to be a ready-made dumpling, but, downstairs in your house, you have flour, celery and pork, leek, egg and shrimp, and cabbage tofu vermicelli, buy it home, make noodles, and chop stuffing. Er, then, who cares that the dumplings have a few folds, as long as they are put in the pot, they will not fall apart, they will be cooked, dipped in garlic soy sauce and vinegar, how fragrant it is. Oh, the original ability to cook noodles can also cook dumplings. Yes, if you cook a bowl of noodles and you have a bit of effort, then don’t worry about adding a pair of chopsticks on your table. It’s not that you are afraid of embarrassment. It is the person who ate a few bites of noodles and left angrily. Misunderstood that your cooking skills are nothing more than this. I don’t know how to cook noodles. What’s the shame, it’s a bit clumsy, it’s okay, try again, the poached egg is broken, it’s okay, I’ll fight again next time. One day, someone encouraged you to fish out the noodles. You are a little puzzled. You watched him cut the green peppers and meat into shreds. I suddenly understood the meaning of adding a pair of chopsticks on the table. That person was not here to make rice. He taught you how to make fried noodles with green pepper and pork. It’s so fragrant! It turns out that when two people get better together, it is the best relationship.


By loveyou

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7 months ago

I know a couple who have a very good relationship. I once asked my wife a question: At what moment did you decide to marry him? Before she answered, I had imagined many romantic scripts in my mind. One time, he did something that made your eyes burst into tears. At a certain moment, he gave you a heavy promise. One day, he gave up his stable job for you. The wife thought for a while, and finally answered two words: No. Thinking about it later, this question itself is too “romantic”. Deciding to marry someone is based on understanding day by day, through the accumulation of one thing. Marriage, where is the moment that is moved because of a certain surprise? We may start a relationship because of a trivial matter. When you were sick, he bought medicine and delivered it to your downstairs. He chatted with you all night when you were in a bad mood. He wrote a confession letter on your birthday. But marriage is different from falling in love. Few people are really willing to bet their lives because of a momentary touch. Because we know that it’s hard to support a marriage just by being moved. After all, getting married means that you have to accompany each other for thousands of days and nights in the future, and you have to bear, tolerate, and face each other’s emotions, tempers, and lives. Behind marriage is responsibility, responsibility, and life. Being moved is not necessarily love, but love must be moved. What really promotes love is not intense love, but trivial time. The more trivial the day, the more diligent management is needed. The longer the relationship, the more the ceremony of love is needed. The sense of ritual expresses the importance of each other and the degree of intention. Not vanity, nor hypocritical. It is proof that we are serious about life and love our partner. I have heard a sentence: The best marriage is to talk about a lifetime of love. Maybe it’s just a sentence before going out, go home early and be careful on the way. Maybe it’s a text message on a special holiday, a cake. Or a dinner you carefully prepared. We feel love and being loved in the rituals and touches again and again. May the time to come: someone asks you how warm the porridge is, and someone stands with you at dusk. Someone is willing to spend “careful thinking” for you, always putting you in the softest corner of your heart.

7 months ago

Let me explain it by quoting sentences from three famous books: 1. The beginning of Duras’ “Lover”: “I am old. One day, in the lobby of a public place, a man came to me. He took the initiative. Introducing himself, he said to me: “I know you and will always remember you. At that time, you were very young and everyone said you were beautiful. Now, I am here to tell you that, to me, I think you are more beautiful now than when you were young. At that time, you were a young woman. Compared to your face back then, I love your face that has been devastated now. “2. “When You Are Old” Yeats: When you are old, with gray hair, drowsiness, and nap by the fire, please take down this poem and read it slowly, remembering the softness of your eyes, and remembering them in the past Thick shadows; how many people love your youthful and joyful hour, love your beauty, falsely or sincerely, there is only one person who loves your pilgrim soul, loves the painful wrinkles on your aging face; head down, in red Beside the shining stove, he whispered sadly about the passing of love. On the hill above it, it paced slowly, hiding her face among a group of stars. 3. Emily Bronte’s “Wuthering Heights” Catherine’s confession : My love for Heathcliff is like the unchanging rock below: Although it seems that it does not give you much pleasure, but this pleasure is necessary. I am Heathcliff! He will always Forever in my heart. He is not as a kind of pleasure, not necessarily more interesting than me to myself, but exists as myself. So stop talking about our separation-that is not to do Arrived. Duras’ “Lover” and Yeats’ “When You Are Old” both convey a love truth: that is, compared to the beauty of a young face, loving someone can penetrate the passage of time and embrace the old This is the inner driving force for two people to come together. This is love. Emily Bronte’s “Wuthering Heights” Catherine’s feelings are even stronger, I know it. The name Heathcliff is not because I admire the gloom and cruelty of the male protagonist, but because I admire the dedication to feeling like death, and the love between him and Catherine is surging in both directions. If two people can come to the end , Excluding those factors that are not love, such as tolerance and tolerance, such a tasteless way of getting along, then “I am Heathcliff, Heathcliff is me”, two people love you and me irrespective of the difference, can not give up, it is The most powerful motivation to be together.

7 months ago

There are not too many romantic plots, not to mention those plots in TV dramas, and more of an ordinary life. Sometimes I think, what is love, sometimes my girlfriend will ask me, we don’t seem to have made some more vigorous love stories together, I will also ask, what kind of thing is vigorous, the previous one is for you The person who had a fight and then made a noise in the school seems to have become an ex-boyfriend, right? Later, after thinking about it, I felt that there are not so many plots in love. It is true that it can stand the test of time. The three views are consistent, understand each other, tolerate each other’s shortcomings, love each other, and trust each other. In short, they are two people. Work hard together, give each other, just like in the lyrics, the most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you slowly, collecting bits and pieces of laughter along the way, and let’s sit in a rocking chair and talk slowly later~

7 months ago

There are many factors. When two people are together, they start with the value of their looks, fall into their talents, and end with character. For two people to reach the end, they must first agree on the three views. People with the same three views look at the problem more similarly. The three views include personal views, world views, and values. It is impossible for a stray person to walk with a very conservative person. They have different circles and opinions, and they cannot accept each other’s ideas; one spends a lot of money. The person who does not stay with a very stingy person, their use of money is different. Second, the personalities complement each other. It’s like we all envy “You’re laughing at the love that I’m making.” If one is acting like a baby, the other must like acting. If one is naughty, the other must be tolerant, and the other must be generous, and the other must be careful and cautious (of course, this It does not conflict with the three views mentioned in the previous article). In addition, people with complementary personalities tend to attract each other. People of opposite sex attract each other. Everyone knows. For example, I am more introverted and not very good at expressing my heart. I am more likely to be attracted to friends who are cheerful and lively, who dare to speak and dare to do. , I want to learn from them, I believe there are others like me~ Again, the interests are similar. Having a topic to talk about is something that many couples think about, just like many couples in love, they feel that liking each other can withstand all external storms and challenges. However, reality often gives them a fatal blow. When you are in love, you can talk about what you want to eat and where you want to play every day. After a long time, even greetings are a luxury. He would rather find friends to play games than you, and would like to find strangers to talk to you than to return to you. News, in this way, there is no common topic, there is nothing to chat, the more and more strange to each other, and the less and less understanding of each other, suspicion and suspicion will arise, and finally accumulated as a reason to leave. If you have a common hobby, you will have a common topic, and you will be able to outline the future together with interest. After all, things are gathered together in groups. Everyone understands. Finally, if there is one thing that can make two people who don’t merge with each other stick to it. That should be for the children or the common good. There are many examples of this in real life, but in that case, even if they are barely together, they seem to be close to each other. There are old sayings that “the villain often steals”, “the same bed has different dreams”, etc. Isn’t it the state of torturing each other? When we were young, we all believed in love. If you still believe in love in front of the screen, then, bless you, and hope you can cherish each other, and through the precious youthful years of having each other, even if you are to be separated at the end, thank you for the person who once appeared and leave no regrets. Another nonsense: to improve yourself, invest in yourself, and love yourself more is our best choice. In the future, only by ourselves can we break out and create our own space. The appearance of many people makes you think that it is a lifetime. Only to realize that he was only here to disturb a pool of spring water passing by. Put more hope on yourself, lower your expectations of others, and you will be much happier. Do it bravely if you want to do it. After all, life is short and fleeting. How can we feel life without cherishing every day we have? We all have white moonlight and cinnabar moles, and we just want to hide them in our hearts and take them to every corner of the world, quietly reading a book, enjoying a corner of the scenery, basking in the sun, and smelling a scent of flowers ~ encouragement!

7 months ago

First: have the same values. Values ​​are cognitive understandings, judgments, or choices made based on people’s certain thinking and perceptions, that is, a kind of thinking or orientation by which people recognize things and distinguish right from wrong, thus reflecting a certain value or value of people, things, and things. effect. This is very important. If two people have different values, there will be many differences and contradictions in life. In this way, quarrels will occur when the other person cannot be convinced or the other person cannot understand, which affects the relationship between the two people. If two people with the same values ​​have similar views on many things, there will be no differences and communication will be easier. Second: find your own role. Many people should be familiar with the word role. In fact, we all play a lot of roles in this complex society. At work, we must act as a good employee, go to work conscientiously, complete our workload of the day, and obey the leadership’s arrangements; in the family, we must play our role as children or parents, with daily firewood, rice, and oil. , Salt, vinegar, you have to worry about it. The company and care you should have should be in place; the two atmospheres of home and company should be separated, and the trivial things at home cannot be brought to work, and the unsatisfactory work is also Don’t take it home. For couples, they must also understand their own roles. They must change from one person’s own way to two people’s mutual support. When it comes to two people’s affairs, you must be honest when you need to be honest. When you need to discuss things, you must not be alone. Take care. But you should also give yourself and the other party some private space. Everyone should have their own space. You can’t get involved in everything at any time. Third: tolerance and understanding. If two people want to go on for a long time, they need to be more tolerant and understanding. They can’t do everything according to their own ideas, but take into account each other’s feelings. Some things may make you very angry, but you must think more about it, think more, if you are him, what can you do? The gender difference between men and women creates a big deviation in how to deal with others. Women may not have their vision and thought so forward and bold, and are more cautious, while men are more decisive and bold, and see long-term ( Only for the vast majority). For areas that I don’t understand, I give more encouragement and support, and there is nothing I can’t get through. Even if you have a miserable fall and you are young, it’s good to get up and move on. Remember to be self-centered and force each other to do everything according to their own wishes. Everyone is an independent individual and wants to be respected. Fourth: good at communication. The simplest understanding of communication is to embed one’s own opinions in the brain of the other party. If two people lack communication, they will not be able to understand each other’s thoughts. Different people will have different opinions on the same thing, so without communication, they will not be able to understand what the other person is thinking. If there is a lack of communication, the idea cannot be understood, and it will also cause estrangement and misunderstanding. This is the beginning of a break between the two. Two people must remember that it is the cold war. If there is any disagreement, you can argue, but you can’t be angry and don’t talk. If you don’t talk about it, it will block the communication between the two people. Information and ideas cannot be shared, which will only increase the relationship between the two The worse. I hope it will help you, and I wish your relationship lasts forever.

7 months ago

A pair of ‘real’ ‘partners’ can come to the end, so they must meet these three conditions of collaborators. 1. The value of synchronization is not only that the value of two people should be equal at first, but it is best to synchronize in life. The strength here is no matter the spiritual level or the actual ability level. Putting it in your romantic life means similar cognition and similar income. You can carefully observe that in emotions, income inequality, and cognition are not at the same level, there are a few couples or couples who have good results. After all, to reach the end, there must be a basic condition for cooperation, at least not to hinder each other. 2. Have a good contract spirit and can independently build barriers to resist temptation. We often say that we must learn how to manage relationships so that the other half will put their hearts in their relationships. However, in reality, not many people can really be so smart and know how to hold the other half’s heart tightly. Therefore, most of the relationships after two or three years are dull and even a little disgusting. At this time, the temptation of the outside world appears, how many people will not empathize with each other? Many of the feelings that can go on are not voluntary, but because of morality, family, property and other real things. Such reasons will make him feel great resentment and feel that he is because these things are bound to In a relationship, it would be very tiring to get along with two people at ordinary times. I don’t think anyone likes this kind of love. A person who can achieve a good contract spirit, on the one hand, has a certain degree of morality, on the other hand, you should realize that true happiness should be explored and experienced in life, rather than gaining a superficial level. The mental stimulation is so simple. 3. Be able to establish a psychological alliance, and nourish each other on the spiritual level instead of consuming. There is still an important thing that cannot be avoided, and that is the spiritual alliance in the emotions. If you don’t want to reduce yourself to a tool person in the relationship, you must have the same connection and self-worth at the spiritual level. Small emotional support and companionship. For example, girls want boys to take care of themselves, while men also need the respect and worship of women to nourish them. In many couples nowadays, girls want boys to take good care of themselves, but they are unwilling to meet the needs of boys. In the end, they will either have a cowardly and incompetent partner who is not responsible, or those who are truly capable will be forced away, so , Be cautious. So big as the understanding of life and understanding of life, we are all emphasizing the soul. When can you feel that you are with the other half, you can face any ups and downs in the world. Together, you have good things every day. Spiritual interaction worth enjoying. If this is the case, then you can basically sit back and relax. It is worth noting that there will be an illusion in this kind of emotion. If you feel that you are always comfortable with your partner, it is very likely that the other party is consuming himself backwards, and this kind of emotion will not last long. There are still many people who say that they do well without any effort. Most of this situation is maintained by their own hormones and the habit of staying together for a long time. Once the passion fades, once the temptation appears, split your legs in minutes. Finally, always remember one sentence-love is the same as money. If you want to have it all the time, you must have the strength to match it!

7 months ago

Seeing this question, I couldn’t help asking myself what it was that allowed her and me to keep going for 11 years. As of March 27, 2021, I have been walking with my girlfriend for 11 years. Until now, they have not entered the palace of marriage together. Resistance and pressure from all quarters still adhere to the beliefs and remain the same. I carefully reviewed this relationship and the journey along the way, and I feel that if I can go to the present, or that two people are more willing to go hand in hand, the word “love” cannot be fully interpreted. I started asking myself, is it time? The length of time may not mean anything, otherwise there would be no such thing as love at first sight. Some people walk into the marriage hall after a blind date for a month or two. Some couples may have experienced it for a long time, but in the end they still didn’t come to the end for various reasons. Long time together may not be able to go to the end. So I think there is nothing less valuable to two people than time. It should rise to a higher level. I started to ask myself, is it a memory from many years? The two people have been together for a long time, and the memories they have produced can also cheer up the road to go next. But memories still have limitations, after all, there are good and bad. Want to rely on this thing to support the belief of two people, I am afraid that I am blinded. I began to ask myself, is it dependent on the other party’s wealth? My evaluation of my wealth may be: a piece of ragged quilted jacket bitten by a bug. Girls are relatively calm about their future plans and investment in their lovers. I don’t think this can be the last force. The phrase that the economic foundation determines the superstructure cannot be used for an exaggeration. I started to ask myself, is it accustomed to the other party? Both of us have to admit that there is indeed a part. I always feel that the habit of the other party is carved in my bones. It is the two people who survived together deeply and indelibly. It is very easy to form something in consciousness. Of course, habit is not enough. I started to ask myself, do you find it troublesome to talk about another relationship? Whenever I talked to her about what kept us down, she always said to me with a melancholy expression: “It would be too exhausting to run another relationship.” Let’s just be a reason to go down together! What the hell is it? I also read some of the answers before answering this question. For example, the three views are consistent, character, and tolerance. some type of. . . But I personally think that these are the prerequisites for two people to go down! At the end, there was still a loss of faith and fetters. Faith and consciousness determine action. Without a firm conviction, I am afraid that what I said before is just empty talk. It must also be the belief of two people. Whether a love can go to the end is not something that can be controlled by a person’s faith. Whether two people can agree on a direction and have the belief to stick to it plays a key role. Beliefs can influence the way of dealing with problems. The power to support when faced with resistance. Answer The resistance that the Lord himself is currently facing, and the various things he has experienced before, are really miserable. They still rely on this belief to support and believe in this belief. Fetters I don’t know how to describe the experience of two people, the fusion of their feelings, the generation and resolution of contradictions between two people, but it is the kind of sentiment rooted in my heart, so I can only call it fetters. This term seems so empty, but to me it is very powerful on the way to the end. I can’t describe this feeling. But it can be explained through some simple mental activities. I haven’t had any doubts about our feelings, or that I have had any doubts about her in these years. I always feel that this “thing” is always by your side to accompany you. Even though I have been in a foreign country for a year, I have never worried that the two will be separated. I can have no contact in a busy day but it seems that she is by my side. Everything I did was for the purpose of two people, thinking that nothing would make sense without each other. Even jokingly calling us “soul mates” does not understand the experience of two people, what kind of road we have traveled, and what kind of story we have produced is unclear. But relying on such an inexplicable “thing” to move forward with difficulty step by step, perhaps very slowly, I am also asking myself, when can I get to the end? Suddenly the road was rugged and bumpy, and I was at a loss as to what to do, but there was a word, a song saved me. “Let the Bullets Fly” directed by Jiang Wen (recently, “Hurry up and apply for a legacy,” the topic is very hot)” Brother, there are 400 of them, and we are only four of us, how to fight? The iron gate “Zhang Mazi” then follow the iron gate to fight”

7 months ago

I personally think it is mutual recognition of their own value and the value of each other. It is to let each other feel the sense of value in this relationship all the time, as well as the sense of value balance between both parties, that is, to have equal relationship cognition, and it is possible to support the two individuals to the end. And communication is the most important thing. It is a manifestation of a benign relationship to maintain long-term spiritual communication. Many people always think that their behavior should be thoroughly analyzed by the other party in the relationship, but in reality, it is always difficult for the other party to understand it without expressing it in plain and true language. Of course, there are different perceptions. For example, some people have strong empathy ability, so they are more sensitive to each other’s external and internal perceptions. If both parties are like this, then these two people are more likely to have a very sweet relationship that makes outsiders seem very sweet. It is also easier to go to the end. Some people may not have the ability to empathize as well as their counterparts, and cannot use their delicate senses to understand the meaning behind the behavior of the counterparty. This can easily lead to some contradictions and inexplicable sense of imbalance.

7 months ago

I think that if two people want to go to the end together, they must understand each other, tolerate each other, and trust each other, instead of not telling each other when they encounter something, they always feel that they can solve that kind of thing. This is a typical example: because my boyfriend and I met in junior high school, it has been 5 years now, we met for one year, and we fell in love for four years. We are still in the same school and in the same class, because we are going to take college entrance examinations, and I am a member of the study committee in the class, so I often go to other people to ask about the endorsement and homework, and I will get in touch a lot. Boy, so he is stingy and jealous. At that time, I thought it was pretty good, but later I gradually felt that it was not good because he was jealous. Once he was jealous, he wouldn’t be able to coax him. , Do not understand me, no matter how I explain it is nonsense. Later, recently, I yelled at him for the first time. I couldn’t bear it and became angry again. At this time, many people would say that you are so used to him. He will only get worse. But what? I chose it myself. I want to cried and spoiled it. Even though I don’t want the endgame to end in an endgame, the process is always good. At least he is also the boy with my heart, so I won’t let it go so easily. So, if two people want to last for a long time, they need to trust and understand each other and tolerate each other. I also believe that they will get better and better.

7 months ago

This is a question of how to get along. I recommend reading the book “Happy Marriage”, which explains the difference between the pattern of unhappy marriage and the pattern of happy marriage. In fact, getting along between two people is just a piece of cake in daily life. Although it is not harmful, it is extremely insulting. Over time, it will naturally lead to a day of division. So this book is really worth reading, and it will be helpful for marriage management.

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