I have talked with my girlfriend for three years. In the first two years, we have no problem in all aspects of relationship, but his parents have never said that they are in a hurry to get married. They think it is still early, and my garage is ready. Then I went to her house to mention it three times. Three times, because my parents were under too much pressure, when I went to her house to propose marriage during the Chinese New Year, her parents dragged back and did not give a specific time. After dinner, I went downstairs to test my girlfriend’s attitude. I hope that with regard to the issue between us, she will show her determination on the side of her parents and work hard, but in the end she was not sure about it. She told all the news about me to her parents. She collapsed and cried all night, and I brought a gift the next day. I went to her house to explain that her parents’ reluctance to listen to me blasted me out.

Later, under the pressure of her parents, she gave them to them, and colleagues said that we broke up, but her best friend from childhood to adult knew about our relationship. From the bright side to the underground, it lasted for half a year, but underground In the past six months, her parents have been introducing her to her blind date. At first, I was very determined and never met, but once I sent her home, her parents found out that his parents’ attitude was so resolute that his girlfriend was shaken. I broke up with me impulsively, but after chatting with me, I decided to give me another year. Because her parents were worried about my job instability, I discussed with her and passed the public examination, and then I went to find a way with her dad. Mom explained. And now she was under pressure to go on a blind date, but she told me that she would just go through the scene, and she would tell me when she went, and my girlfriend is a slow person. When I chased it, it was because my classmates were familiar with it for many years. It took more than half a year to be together, and it has been at least 6 years from knowing each other for 3 years to 3 years together.

I’ve been upset when I think about it these days, and I can’t read the book. What should I do? Or come and wake me up with a few grumpy guys?

Based on your description, briefly summarize. Your girlfriend’s parents think that your conditions are not good enough, and resolutely refuse to accept you. You don’t deny this and intend to change the status quo. Your girlfriend has feelings for you, but she can’t help her parents, but she is still willing to give you time. In the final analysis, her parents are firm, and you are firm, only your girlfriend is hesitant. She can’t make up her mind to marry you because she can’t convince her parents, and probably can’t convince herself; she can’t make up her mind to break up with you because she hasn’t found anything better than you. The current situation is caused by her alone, because she wants to put herself in a state where she will not lose much, if she finds a better one, she can break up with you directly; if she can’t find it, at least there is You go to the bottom. Don’t blame me for speaking badly. Even if you are not a spare tire like this, there is probably no spare tire in the world. What should you do now? I suggest: First, you plan to go to the public examination. If success will improve your conditions, this is very good and you should continue to work hard. But please set your mind right. You strive to improve yourself. The purpose is not only to be able to marry her, but also to benefit yourself. You must sincerely want to improve, not for her but for yourself. If you don’t adjust your mentality, even if you succeed, you will slacken off after marrying her and disappoint her; if you still fail to marry her in the end, you will give up on yourself. The point is that you want to improve yourself, not that she forces you to improve. Second, no matter how much you like her, you must be mentally prepared to break up. After all, her parents clearly opposed her, and her will was not firm. On the contrary, she had been compromising with her parents, so there was little hope. It was obviously impossible for her to break with her family. If you always refuse to consider this possibility, you may not be able to withstand the blow when the breakup occurs, and it may hurt yourself or others, which is not worth it. Third, you have to try to reconcile with yourself. People in the world have many different conditions. As long as you still yearn for better, you are not the worst. Her parents and even you in her eyes may not be the objective and true you. Their family wants to find one with better conditions, so can the one with better conditions be attracted by their family? Everyone is a mortal, and it’s easy to make the mistake of overestimating or underestimating yourself. You have to think about it the other way around. Is it because your existence prevents your girlfriend from meeting someone with better conditions? Is it because you disagree that she has not married yet? No, just because she is not good enough to attract the attention of Prince Charming. Fourth, she said that going on a blind date was due to the pressure of her parents, and she assures you that it’s just a show. Don’t be too sure about her. As long as she meets better conditions than you, she must be with the other person, otherwise she would have married you a long time ago, because otherwise it would go against the logic. So based on the first, second and third above, I suggest that you also quickly ask your parents or relatives to give you a blind date, or you can find it yourself. Whenever you meet a more suitable one, you may suddenly become enlightened, and it is no longer necessary for her. . Fifth, I suggest you find a suitable time to talk to her again. You have been together for 3 years. It can be seen that each other is really affectionate. Marriage does not only consider the objective conditions of both parties. The relationship foundation is also very important. It is not as good as being single, because the key to living together is to be comfortable together. Being comfortable means accepting each other’s shortcomings, and means tolerating and compromising. Only feelings can make one person willingly tolerate and compromise another, accept and forgive each other’s shortcomings and tempers. Without feelings, two people will eventually hate each other. What followed was conflict or indifference, divorce or derailment. You have to ask her if she is willing to marry you immediately if her parents do not object. If so, ask her to persuade her parents; if she refuses to express her opinion, then maybe she doesn’t love you so much. It confirms what I said above, she just wants to put herself in a state where she will not lose much no matter what. At the same time, you can also tell her that under the pressure of your parents, you are also going on a blind date. Of course, you also promise to just go for a formality, and you will talk to her when you go. After you say it, how she responds depends on her original calculation. If she really likes you and doesn’t want to lose you, then this will increase her sense of urgency. She may not wait for you to be promoted to the state required by her or her parents in time. Instead, she may actively promote marriage. If she does treat you as a spare tire, then she will be sad because she may lose the spare tire, but she may not take any action. For you, there is no loss, but dignity is restored. This is very important, because the more you seem to be inseparable from her, and the more you obey her, the less she will look down on you and the easier it will be to stand with her parents. The more independent you are, the more indifferent you appear. Even if you pretend to be, the more people will respect you and make others wonder if you are too underestimated. Only by respecting you can you continue to love you, and you will think more if you are afraid of losing you. Being with you, because people hate to lose and love to get. It is not easy to find someone you like and who also likes you. I wish you success.


By zhiwo

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Notify of
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
7 months ago

The girl’s parents look down on you. Her parents should be very strong at home. What they think is right is right, and they think you are not suitable, which means they are not suitable. Think about it even if you cry and hang up with your girlfriend, they finally agree to your marriage, but after marriage they will definitely make judgments about your life. If your girlfriend is an opinionated person, it’s okay, if she If you listen more to her parents, then your future life will be catastrophic. Never believe how loyal a person is to a person’s feelings. After a long time, the person will become tired, physically and mentally exhausted. At this time, if someone makes her happy and has no troubles, she will be easily shaken. Twisted melons are not sweet, so why should they hang on a tree with a crooked neck? Wouldn’t she be fragrant when thinking of older women with financial foundations? Isn’t she fragrant to find a little girlfriend who is gentle and considerate to yourself and sticks to yourself every day? What I said before is actually not what I want to say. What I want to say is that you have to communicate with your girlfriend. First of all, you have to unite and cooperate together. First, find out his parents’ hobbies, weaknesses, and various information. Collect them, and then formulate a tough plan. You must choose to defeat them one by one, first attack her mother or his father, and let them fall into a lone battle. You can even start with her relatives and girlfriends. Hard-hearted, soft-hearted, coercive and temptation, do whatever you like, do everything you want, just for one goal. Take the spiritual attitude of the revolution back then to deal with it. The most important and most important point is that your girlfriend must be on your side anyway, caring about her and discussing with her more often. Don’t be in a bad mood or have conflicts because of this matter. Make her unhappy, if she is not on the front line with you, then no matter how hard you work, it will be useless.

7 months ago

People still look down on you and feel that you are not suitable for marriage, but wait until you become better, then go to redeem, otherwise your value is too low, there is no way to redeem it! Haha, wait until one day, when you return from your studies, the other party is already married, and the children are running all over the floor. You are excellent, but this situation can still save the hair? From my personal point of view, I think the people you are not chasing are all gods! In other words, only people at the level of gods are worthy of being your significant other! Haha, just kidding, don’t be nervous. Everyone is not so good, and even the people who have recovered the compound success, if they have to pick, there are still a lot of problems, but they still do not delay their recovery of their love, marriage, and children. People who wait until everything is ready and then consider redeeming will often miss your happiness. Either you never know the satisfaction in the process of restoring excellence, or you are waiting for you to achieve the achievement one day, and you find that the person is no longer there. There are three serious thinking errors in the thinking mode of people who think that they will be restored after becoming excellent: 1: I seem to think that I have nothing to deal with right now. 2: Then, since I have advantages, why did the other party leave me? 3: Only when I become a very good person can I be worthy of my ta. Let’s talk about the first misunderstanding: I seem to think that I don’t have anything to deal with right now. Because you have nothing you can do, so you have to be excellent to get her back. This kind of thinking is to look down on oneself, and the problem of many people is not that they have no advantages at all. Is it possible that you are already in your twenties, and it will take years to develop your strengths before you can start your relationship? The biggest problem for many people is that you don’t know how to discover your strengths and how to show your strengths. You have something to discover, you just don’t know it. When attracting the opponent, the focus is to maximize the existing advantages, rather than trying to find ways to work in new places. What you have, what the other party does not, is where you can attract each other. The second misunderstanding is: Since I have advantages, why did the other party leave me? This is the case. At the beginning of love, it is you and me. Both parties are dazzled by the hormones of love, and they only see each other’s advantages. In this period, even if you pick your nose, the other person thinks you are so handsome! But with the passage of time, the relationship between the two parties has gradually entered a period of flatness. At this time, the two parties will gradually see each other’s shortcomings and begin to dislike each other. After that is the running-in period. At this stage, the most important thing for both parties is to ask for the same while reserving differences. If you don’t think like this, then you will find that the other party’s shortcomings are more and more. There are many shortcomings of the other party that you cannot bear. So often the break-ups are in this running-in period. So are your strengths still there? Of course it is still there, but the other party ignored it. Therefore, in the early stage of restoration, the instructor will say to the salvation students that he will give you a new persona and carry out a series of packaging. What does packaging mean? It is not a false packaging, but on top of your original strengths, make your strengths clearer, and dilute or even correct your weaknesses. And, you should know that the same sentence, on the contrary, the effect is completely different, so your value display process is also extremely important. To cite a very typical example: Jiang Jinfu’s domestic violence has been reported the most in the news recently. Domestic violence itself is wrong no matter what the circumstances. But Jiang Jinfu is the only star who admitted to domestic violence in front of the entertainment media. Just because he admitted his mistakes frankly on social networking sites, this won the forgiveness of many fans, thinking that he is a man who dares to act. In addition, what is his handling method? He wants everyone to know the truth. If he tells the truth himself, then everyone will think that he is making excuses for himself, and fans may not buy him. So he didn’t tell the truth personally, but through his brothers, he pour out the whole thing, so that his grievances can be appealed, and I beat her before the other party cheated and cheated. Therefore, this matter turned around, and everyone misunderstood him because of domestic violence. It was the brothers who really couldn’t see the misunderstanding and insults given to him by the fans, so they stood up and spoke for him. And because his girlfriend is a Japanese, it is reasonable for us to beat the Japanese, so we escalated this matter to an ethnic issue. You said this artist admits that domestic violence is stupid or not? Not stupid! ! ! On the contrary, he has a lot of fans because of these domestic violence incidents. It’s really a cow! ! ! This is called public relations, this is called packaging, this is called routines. The third misunderstanding is: How perfect does the other party need to be in order to make you outstanding before you pursue her? I know what it feels like to save a person, because my husband was also saved by me. It’s not up to you to be worthy or unworthy. Besides, it is not a comprehensive evaluation and scoring to recover the matter. Only if you are worthy can you be allowed to recover. Because often in the process of recovery, the other party’s new love is not as good as your conditions in all aspects. Therefore, the other party is not so perfect, and you don’t need to be so nervous, and don’t think that you have to be particularly good to be with the other party. So since you don’t need you to be so good to save love, where should your packaging stand out? Do you like it? No! No! No! It’s okay to do what you like appropriately, but doing what you like is only part of the recovery. After all, the other party’s understanding of a certain favorite thing, as well as a certain hobby of the other party, is already a long-term process, and he should be relatively proficient. No matter how much you accumulate, you will never be able to compare with the other party, and the other party will think that you are playing a big sword in front of Guan Gong, so you only need to understand it properly and let both parties have a little common language. The level of your understanding of this matter depends on: When the other party is chatting with you excitedly, don’t grin, just don’t know anything. For example, some people don’t understand music, because the person they like loves to listen to music, so he followed and studied it for a long time. This is already very easy. If someone you like loves dancing, painting, and extreme sports, do you have to try it again? You should take the other person to experience things she has not experienced. For example, you take a woman who often goes to the library to go to the bar; for example, take a woman who often goes to nightclubs on the carousel… and it is best to choose what you are best at Yes, the other party hasn’t had much contact with it, but it is not a project that is excluded. Because of this kind of occasion and attraction, the other party needs someone to lead, and you can just be the one leading the other party. What you have and what the other person’s surrounding environment doesn’t have are also points you should build. To give an example: in the movie, the love scene masters pretend to be indifferent to the goddess or the male god level characters, but can they reap their hearts? Because the goddess or male god level characters have received countless people’s pursuit and flattery, these words have long been boring to her. If you don’t praise her particularly high, what you say can attract the other party. What you can’t give to the other person’s surrounding environment, whether it’s love, care, truthfulness, honesty… This matter really has nothing to do with how good you are. So I especially don’t like to save the students and say “When I am good enough and good enough, I will chase her.” The opportunity is fleeting. More importantly, don’t let “I’m not good enough” as your excuse. If you don’t have the courage and dare to go, use this as a shield. Over time, you can only pass by one “beloved” one after another. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Only by respecting each other’s differences can our love be full of magic and last forever!

7 months ago

After six years, you are still looked down upon by others. Even if they barely live together. How to break this gap? Either you completely stand out and give them a good look. Either you completely tore your face with their family. Otherwise, the looming look down for the rest of your life will be something no one can bear. This look down is like a plaster. I didn’t feel it when I posted it, but I must take it off in about two days. Because as time goes by, the place where the plaster is applied will become more and more itchy, and in the end, the itching becomes unbearable, and you have to take it off without control. It takes too long, and maybe a piece of skin will be peeled off in the next time. After you can’t stand it for the rest of your life, when you want to take off the despised parents-in-law, it is not just a few pieces of skin that are removed.

7 months ago

You two have known each other for so many years and tossed back and forth so many times. The problem is not in the relationship, but in that your conditions did not meet the expectations of his parents, and to some extent did not meet her expectations. These things are actually very emotional, the more you get stuck in it, and you can’t get out of it, the more messy it is. At this time, you should step out and pay more attention to the root of the problem: your own conditions. Make a good improvement, whether it is to meet their family’s requirements or not, it will be good for your future principles. Moreover, this kind of problem-solving approach is also very important. If you encounter problems, you should ask yourself. I’m Senior Sister Tassel, an excellent answerer under the topic of fishing.

7 months ago

Brother, this is not your girlfriend’s problem, it’s your problem, and it’s also a common problem in today’s society where most men don’t know enough about women. Men often have two misunderstandings about women: 1. When I talk to her about my childhood and my past experiences, she will definitely understand me better and love my essence instead of appearance and money. 2. I treat her well, cook her, give her gifts, date her, and open the door for her. She will definitely be moved and fall in love with me. Brothers, let us re-understand the brain circuits of girls. For most mammals and birds, the necessary conditions for females to reproduce with males are: 1. Males are stronger than females; 2. In the eyes of females, males are stronger than other males. Millions of years ago, what type of grandpa would our grandma, our ape-man ancestors like? It must be: 1. There are many hangings on the neck (that is the trophy of hunting); 2. There are many piercings (because there is no vaccine in ancient times, and the wound is easy to be infected with the virus. Most people have wounds and die easily. Real men They often pierce holes in their ears to show the strength of their genes); 3. Run fast and have a lot of strength; 4. Can get more wild beasts for grandma. The so-called leader is a symbol of a real man. In ancient times, our ancestors, what type of men did women like; they must be officials, literary and military, brave, muscular, or literary and wealthy. Because these men can obtain more social resources and ensure their safety, which can make it easier for future generations to survive. But if you think that money and status are the standard for the strong, then you are wrong, and you only see the appearance of the phenomenon. The vast majority of women are men who feel that they have money and status, are stronger than other men, and like each other. Take a counter-example: a rich second-generation licking a dog, and a poor artist; a handsome guy who sees beautiful women speechless, and an ordinary man who dares to strike up a conversation and dared to express; which woman would choose? Most will choose the latter. why? Because the core of a man lies not in how much money he has or what status, but in his own strength; women like men with money status, but the lazy mechanism in the brain circuit makes them unwilling to spend time choosing powerful men , So they will directly choose men with money status. My definition of being strong is the close connection between a person, himself, society, and the universe.   A person who understands himself better, has his own ideas, understands the universe better, has more ink in his stomach, and has a deeper relationship with more people, and the greater his influence, the stronger he is.   And it is foreseeable that he will also have more money and status; therefore, a man is a real man. It does not lie in how much money there is; it lies in the strength from the heart. You have a luxury car, and you bend over to open the door to a girl, and the girl will think you are a licking dog, and your value is very low. If you have the masses, you go straight to open the door for girls, and girls will think you are very cultivated and your value is relatively high; you are a rich second generation, you send a woman Hermes on Valentine’s Day and say I love you. Women will think you are a licking dog and your value is very low. You are poor, but you take yourself as a reward and ask women to give you gifts voluntarily. Women will think that you are a powerful person and your value is very high. You are a handsome guy. When you see a woman you dare not come forward and talk, you dare not look into her eyes and talk, you will only hide behind her, she will think you are a stalker; you are an ordinary person, you will come forward and talk to yourself. The girl who speaks and looks into her eyes, and arranges her itinerary when she goes out, she will think you are very reliable. You are a rich person, you go out on a date with a girl, invite her to eat, you are very purposeful, and you keep revealing your sense of need for women in your words, and she will think you are very disgusting. You are an ordinary person. You went out on a date with the girl who hit up yesterday. You hit up dozens of girls. There is no shortage of this one. The purpose is very weak. It is not necessary for her. Your words reveal the test and profound experience of her. She will find you very challenging and excellent. You have an annual salary of 500,000, and you add the WeChat of the girl who hit up yesterday, chat with her every day, what do you say, what do you respond to, did she say you are rich? You say you are quite rich. Women will think you are a dick. You have an annual salary of 150,000. You add the WeChat of the girl who struck up yesterday, and occasionally chat with her. You occasionally reply to what she says and don’t enter her frame. Did she say you are rich? Do you say you are beautiful? Women will find you very interesting. Few men dare to challenge her words; you are very good to your wife when you are married. Tell her about your past and your lack of heart. You stick together every day and look very loving. Your wife will look at other handsome guys every day, will fantasize about the overbearing president marrying herself, and even smash with others online. You are good for your wife when you are married, but keep in close contact with others, family and friends, often take your wife to new places, maintain a figure that attracts the opposite sex, learn a musical instrument talent, and learn new knowledge. Wife can discover your strengths more. Your wife will love you to death, always afraid that such a good man will be taken away, and talk to your sisters about your strengths every day. Brother, with so many examples above, you should probably understand what a powerful man is. It’s not about being rich, having status, or being good in shape. Instead, they don’t believe in the authority of women and break away from the rule of the supremacy of money in this world. Show the most essential masculinity, your own thoughts, your sincerity, your exploration of the universe, and your positive connection with others.   When you understand this, I think you understand how to do it. Don’t pay attention to her, don’t care about her too much, buy more clothes, invest more in yourself, maintain your figure and upward strength. Communicate with strangers more often and connect with male and female friends. Let your girlfriend have the idea of ​​”My man is so good that other women want it, and I might lose it”. Do you think Lao Ma and Wang Si c care about the problem of his girlfriend telling him that he is going to go on a blind date? You have to give yourself the ability to have many choices at any time. This ability is your outstanding personality strength, the ability that is constantly accumulated. Again, being good is not rich or handsome. It is the kind of casualness to open the car door for girls, the frank and aggressive way of talking to girls, the independent thinking style that does not obey high-quality women, does not bow to authority, does not compromise with the ordinary and the vulgar, does not rely on your girlfriend and Brood. A person, whether male or female, should not be cheated, but he must have the capital to cheat at any time. Women can do this by making vibrato through selfies, posting in Moments of exquisite life, and wearing sexy clothes on the street. Men can keep in shape through fitness, have free time to hang out with friends, and have the power of calm and humorous language. All love seeks a balance between attractiveness and security. If you have a beautiful wife (attractive), you just want her to be nice to you (sense of security), and you may feel cute when she complains to you. But if you have an ordinary girlfriend (sense of security), who still clings to you and complains to you every day, will you be annoying? The same is true for men. If you don’t build your own masculine charm, learn to progress, or increase your skills, complaining about your girlfriend going out on a blind date at home will only make people even more annoying. Why do women like domineering CEOs (attractive) and fall in love with me (safety)? Do you like small milk dogs (attractiveness) and infatuation (safety), like swingers (attractiveness) to take care of yourself (safety)? You think that the popular “good men” and “warm men” are requirements of you, then you are wrong. It is the premise that women presuppose that their objects are attractive and masculine. The last sentence is for you and for all men: May every man, especially the covet and oppression of US imperialism on the outside, and the Chinese men who are struggling in the cracks of nymph culture, consumerism and gender opposition, can be Stand up indomitably. Ability to fear authority and failure, to be courageous, confident, honest and frank, to go out more, to communicate more with society, to communicate more with strangers, to continuously learn and progress, to bravely show their masculine charm, go Pursue the girl you like.

7 months ago

The two tactics are one is to borrow a donkey from the slope, and the other is to ride a donkey to find a horse. This is the destiny of Nabe Nan. You regard yourself as a qualified supporter, thinking that you can get your heart to start a family by preparing your house, car, and money. Invisibly, Nao Nan quantifies all his evaluation criteria as indicators of house, car, and money. The moment Nao Nan materializes himself as a supporter, he is no longer a human being, and is no different from the products available in the store. , And there will always be a provider who is better than you in this world. When she can choose a better product, you will be the first to be abandoned.

7 months ago

I’m here to persuade you to break up. Breaking up is difficult for you, but breaking up is still your best choice. Because in this relationship, you have no dignity. Love affair can not be made public, stage spy drama to play underground love, is your girlfriend an underground party or a female star? You can comfort yourself and say that it’s all because of great love, and you can comfort yourself. It’s all excusable and you can accept it. But although you have temporarily maintained the willow-like feelings in the wind, you have lost your dignity. Because in this relationship, you have no bottom line. To what extent, your girlfriend has gone on a blind date. Although your girlfriend said that she only followed the form and not the heart, she still went, didn’t she? You have become a de facto spare tire. In this relationship, the bottom line is already bottomless. Is it interesting? After talking for three years and three years in total, how many six years can there be in life? Do you have time? In this relationship, you are so humble and have no bottom line, all because you can’t afford it and can’t let it go. How to do? My answer, I hope it can help you. The most afraid of emotions is “cannot hold” and “cannot let go.” You can’t afford it because you “dare not love” and “cannot let go” because you can’t “divide”. So, what is it that keeps us stuck in the past and cannot leave? 1. A sense of regret about unfinished events. In the TV series “Tiger Mom and Cat Dad”, Russell has been entangled with his first love girlfriend Tang Lin after marriage. After a series of hesitation and vacillation, he finally chose to continue living with his wife. Regarding the first love, he said this sentence: “In fact, what I miss is the time with you, that period of youth…” This sentence expresses the essence of the “first love complex”. Because it is not finished, I feel very good. The sense of incompleteness is nothing more than love, but can’t let go. What is unavailable is always in turmoil, it is a memory effect. People are more impressed with things that have not yet been processed than things that have been processed. We can get the same feeling in love. Why is it always easy to miss a person who is broken up? Because it ends early, it is an unfinished state. So there will be obsession, unwillingness and regret. And human beings always have an absolute fantasy about the love of a perfect life. 2. The low-value feeling in the heart is causing trouble. Many people know the movie “The Great Gatsby”. Poor boy Gatsby fell in love with a girl named Daisy in his early years. But for good fortune, he had no money, Daisy married rich man Tom. In the end, Daisy became Gatsby’s obsession. He kept working hard with obsession with Daisy. In the end, Gates got his wish and became a rich man. Daisy who once recovered him. But in the end, he was reduced to a licking dog and was shot for Daisy. In the end, Daisy still insisted on following another person. Why is this so? In the final analysis, even if Gatsby has material value, he is still empty inside. But also continue to beautify the other party. Think of her as a lofty, inviolable goddess. And the more this happened, the more he shrank and flinched. In any interpersonal relationship, the values ​​of both parties are in a game. The Matthew effect in love always tells you: the strong the stronger, the weak the weaker. And the more people who lack love in childhood, the harder it is to get love. The more insecure people are, the more insecure people are. When such a person breaks up, they will largely overestimate the value of each other. And unconsciously reduce their value. The more so, the less you can get it, and the more you can’t let it go. 3. Beautify past memories in your mind. My friend Lin Zi was tortured to death by a relationship. Heartbreaking told me: to be separated from each other. However, after a person has lived a period of life, he begins to think of the other person. Just asked me: “Should I go back and look for him again?” After really looking back, the two continued to fight, and finally the endgame ended. Nostalgia is indeed our Mito Xiuxiu and light and shadow magician. But to a large extent, our longing for the past is an overestimation. Humans always like to use those processed memories to remember each other. It always makes people fall into vague entanglements and hallucinations. So, how can we let go of the obsession with a person? An old friend came to Beijing a few days ago to accompany him to dinner. He liked a girl for 6 years, from junior high school to university. After going to college, the two were finally able to fall in love in an open and honest manner. But a year later, they still broke up. After that, when the boys saw her in a bad mood, they still either called to comfort her, or flew to accompany her to eat, drink and have fun. He couldn’t keep in touch until the girl made a new boyfriend. He began to devote himself to his studies and career. Five years later, he entered the workplace and saw the bigger world. At a young age, with an annual income of more than 500,000 yuan, there are no shortage of outstanding girls around. This year, she celebrated her birthday. He forgot to buy gifts, and forgot to send blessings at midnight. The phone’s memory is not enough, so naturally it turns to the top. Delete her picture. He took a sip of his wine and said that I had already let it go, but I only realized it today. Observe those who come out of a situation that cannot be let go. We can always find these commonalities: 1. Increasing one’s own personal value is conducive to “letting go”. Yan Ni, who starred in “Wulin Story”, divorced her ex-husband as early as 2004. When performing, she is the treasurer of Tong who is full of joy. After the play, she felt frustrated in the room alone. All depression and pain must be passed slowly. Although she was frustrated in love, Yan Ni made great efforts to develop her career. Subsequently, her salary rose higher and higher. Life is more and more exciting and exciting. In the TV series, I talked about “sister and brother love” generously with the “male gods”. It can even be a good interpretation of fashion blockbusters, which is called the fine leggings by the fashion media. He even said in an interview: I don’t mind siblings at all. She had already put down the man who had caused her so much pain. Yes, because I am strong enough. What I once thought about was only like that. The reason why you can’t let go of one person is that you have too little. You haven’t seen anything in the world, so you don’t know what is good and what is bad. So, enrich your life. Let yourself have more valuable resources. Whether it’s making money materially, or letting yourself experience more emotionally. Will loosen one’s attachments in the past. 2. Being able to let go is because of being able to face up to the fact that the other person “not loves himself enough”. Actor Zhu Yin mentioned in “A Date with Luyu” that she hadn’t walked out of the shadow of broken love for a long time. It’s because she always feels that the other party is still sulking her, and will try every reason to comfort herself that he is still sulking her. So it didn’t come out for a long time. Zhu Yin recalled this relationship many years later. She said that she shed too many tears in three years. When she completely let go, another man in her life appeared, and he was Huang Guanzhong. He is far inferior to Zhou Xingchi in terms of fame. But his love for Zhu Yin can be described as ten years like a day. Understand that if the other party really loves you, how can you wait in the cold wind and have scandals over and over again, for example, Jia Nailiang chooses to trust unconditionally. Adopt a state of paralyzing yourself. It’s nothing more than not accepting the truth that the other person doesn’t love yourself. If you can’t face this truth, you will never let go of obsession. 3. People who can let go are those with “growth thinking”. People’s thinking is divided into fixed-going thinking and growth-oriented thinking. A fixed mindset avoids failure. Once you fail, you will always be depressed. The growth mindset bravely accepts failure and is good at drawing lessons and strength from failure. This principle also applies in the realm of emotions. Lovers with fixed thinking refuse to admit failure, refuse to let go of old love, refuse to grow in their hearts. Lovers with a growth mindset can reflect on themselves and continue to grow after a relationship failure. Of course, once you become a growth-minded person, you will be able to learn wisdom and heart-to-heart growth from the end of your relationship. In this way, life is a completely different situation. Each of us deserves an equal, reciprocal, and respectful relationship, whether it is a friend or a partner. When the relationship is no longer suitable, if you love someone again, you must also learn to let go. Cangyang Gyatso once wrote that the essence of love is an illusion of the human heart. Even if it is an illusion, we still cannot escape such joy and desire. Only when we figure out the context behind this. When you love, it will always be different. Because, we know, if the firewood runs out, no matter how fierce the fire is, it will dim. Only when you know the value and meaning of possession, you are willing to work hard to cherish it. To have it, you must first learn to “let go” this homework. Only in this way can we truly love with sincerity. When you lose it, you can really stride forward and continue to love yourself and the world.

7 months ago

It’s not a break up, but your girlfriend’s attitude towards you is worth exploring. As long as a woman treats you completely, it’s not a big deal for her parents to disagree. What really makes girls hesitate and worry about it is girls. You are not so reliable in your heart, because she is still worried about you, so the girl’s parents can easily unite with the girl. This is very clear. So let’s talk about the specific problems you encountered in your relationship. First of all The first point: I have talked with my girlfriend for three years. In the first two years, we have no problems in all aspects of relationship, but his parents have never said that they are in a hurry to get married. Satisfied, so I don’t rush to get married. Think about it if you are really a potential stock, or a second generation, your parents see you and are eager to marry the girl out quickly. As a result, the girl’s parents say: You’re still young, don’t rush to get married. What does this mean is that you are not satisfied with you, but you don’t want to twist the girl and affect the relationship between you and the girl. Then talk about it first. Anyway, you can’t lose anything when you talk about love. Second point: My garage is prepared. Okay, then I went to her house to mention it three times. The last time her parents dragged it back and didn’t give a specific time. After dinner, I went downstairs and tried to break up with my girlfriend. I have come to propose marriage three times, and my eldest brother has done it three times. ! ! I don’t know the attitude of your girlfriend. I really don’t understand how you talked about your relationship in the past three years. I’m also very helpless. To put it bluntly, you have gone to propose marriage. I don’t know if the girl is willing to marry you? ? It stands to reason that before the first marriage proposal, you should communicate with your girlfriend at least twice, and understand clearly the attitude of the other’s parents towards you. Your girlfriend’s attitude towards you should be prepared in advance. Where there is a problem, Whenever you solve the problem, you just go up to propose a marriage directly. When people disagree, they just mention it one after another. It’s so stupid. No wonder people’s parents don’t worry about giving the girl to you to arrange a blind date. It’s just such a behavior. , Where can I tell that it is mature, stable, and mindful parents handing their girls in your hands for the rest of their lives, it’s not right! ! The third point: His parents’ attitude was very resolute and shook his girlfriend. They broke up with me impulsively, but after chatting with me, they decided to give me another year. This is the attitude of your girlfriend after a year of underground romance. Here is your daughter. Your friend’s performance is simply too problematic. Okay, the underground relationship is discovered by your parents, and then your girlfriend “impulsively” proposes to break up with you. Are you sure it is really impulsive? Isn’t this the true thoughts of your girlfriend? ? When you think that her parents’ attitude is too determined to shake your girlfriend but the flies don’t bite the seamless egg, this shows that your girlfriend is not satisfied with you, but the other party does not want to bear a negative social evaluation of being too poor and loving the rich. Therefore, create a bitter situation in which Jinjian is forced by his parents to break up with you so as to reduce his own inner guilt. You must know that a woman is so desperate for you, what parents’ suggestions, friends’ pillows, etc. It’s not a problem that the two of you have come to where you are today. The fundamental reason is that you didn’t make your girlfriend determined to stay with you. If you want your girlfriend to die with you, the financial strength is actually only one aspect of your family’s RV. Ready to show that the economic strength is not bad, unless your girlfriend’s family conditions are much higher than your contemporary girls’ material needs in relationships are not as high as the majority of male friends think. They actually value the partner’s ability. Satisfy your own emotional needs. For example, can you bring the emotional fluctuations that girls want, can you provide girls with emotional comfort, can you understand her, understand her, and you are together more in the process of getting along with you? Whether the two parties are truly happy at the time, these are the most important. So what can you do? First of all, deep-level communication is essential to you nowadays. What you need to communicate is the following questions: 1. Your views on marriage 2. The core needs of both parties for relationships are the two core points. Secondly, the communication environment and the psychological state of the parties can affect the quality of your communication, and determine whether the other party will confide in you. If you want this communication to be effective, it is particularly important to master certain communication skills. So a qualified communication What elements do you need to reject? 1. Understand the literal meaning 2. Understand the subtext 3. Understand the emotions behind the words and finally teach you how to convey the feeling that I can give you to girls, that is, how to meet the core emotional needs of girls. In getting along with girls, we only know why Zhang San likes Li Si and don’t like Wang Wu. Then we can know what you are going to do, so that girls like you and girls do not want to leave you. Girls are with someone. No Except for these two situations: Either you have some characteristics of his parents, and the girl will be attracted by these similar characteristics, provided that the relationship between the girl and the parents is very good; or she wants someone who can satisfy her parents who have not satisfied her. For example, girls’ families, fathers are addicted to alcohol, and parents who are controlled by alcohol cannot give their daughters healthy love, so grow up in such a family. Children will want to find a boyfriend who can care for her, care for her, and value him. If you don’t do this well, you are not a serious addiction in certain aspects (not just limited to Alcohol addiction, as long as some other addictive behaviors affect life, they are passed.) Knowing these, we have to do two things: be yourself and show yourself. Due to the limited space, I will talk about how to be yourself today. To be yourself means you have to have your own independent thoughts. Li Bai wrote “An Neng ruins the rich and powerful and makes me unhappy”. He tells me that serving those powerful and inferior makes me very unhappy. I can’t do this. Yes, showing our arrogance and contempt for the dignitaries. We can see through what Li Bai said, what kind of thinking he was like a predecessor who was a thousand years ago. Then we should understand when we get along with girls. Speaking of the girl you think about is by looking at what you say, subconsciously thinking about what kind of person you are: whether the three views are healthy, whether the feelings are serious, whether they have the ability to solve emotional problems, can they bring me Come to the feeling you want, etc. If you express your favorite behavior is to chat with girls every day, and be responsive to girls’ needs… In summary, there is no bottom line to show goodness. The feeling that you convey to girls is: you like me, You will give everything for me. When a girl thinks like this, she will instantly put herself in a high position and take your daily contribution for granted. At this time, no matter how much you do in the eyes of the girl, it is not enough because The girl thinks that I am worth more than you, and you are not worthy of wanting to be with me (the subject has already committed this taboo in the current situation, and countless marriage proposals, as well as other compromises with parents in the process of getting along, have made the girl think You will compromise countless times in order to marry me. This is a very low-value behavior. This result is definitely not what we want, so it is very important to maintain equal pay in the relationship. When it comes to this, the problem comes.” I can guarantee that I will pay, but I can’t force girls to pay too.” In fact, the solution to this problem is very simple. Everyone has loss aversion. This is a concept in economics that people face the same amount of gains. When dealing with loss, think that loss is even more unbearable for them to use people’s aversion to loss to guide girls to invest in us and increase the cost of silence for girls in this relationship. For example, girls usually encounter difficulties at work. I’m looking for you. You can help if you can help before, but now you can say after solving the problem for the girl: “Let’s say, I helped you so much, how can you thank me?” Show the girl an attitude that is, you There is a cost to pay and in the usual chatting process, for example, on Friday night, you chatted very late, you are sleepy and want to rest. The girl said: What are you worried about? You can sleep late on the weekend tomorrow. You can say : I’m the busiest time on weekends, so let’s stop talking and sleep~ This will make girls wonder about you. Others are the most leisure time on weekends. Why are you so weird? This thinking process is the energy invested in you unknowingly. So in the future, when you get along with the girl, don’t just stare at whether the girl has the time and money to pay, but also pay attention to the energy betting. Whether the energy investment is very invisible, but very important. Above, I hope to inspire you!

7 months ago

Dear judges, don’t scold the subject of the subject. He was still persuading others not to give up yesterday, “Persevere, not only you insist, but also your partner. Feelings are never a matter of one person.” After all, it’s useless to persuade anyone, after all, more than three years of persistence has made him dizzy. My girlfriend went on a blind date but told me, what should I do? Heathcliff’s video 1635 broadcasts the subject’s girlfriend, including her family members who have opinions about his unstable work. Now the subject is almost a “living back” for feelings, and at the same time preventing his girlfriend from “no longer firm.” The risk is due to the situation of internal and external troubles. The subject of the subject, in a relationship, did you pay so much, did you move God and moved yourself? Sometimes feelings are a kind of inertia, you want to have a reward for what you give. Maybe the subject is pure and true love. Your girlfriend also loves you and cherishes you, but the obstacle of your parents is really a big hurdle. If you can’t achieve it Their demands can’t get love, so humble and not tired? Persuasion and non-persuasion are divided, like a fish in the water, everything is under your control, no one can help, and no one can persuade you, the subject of your own weighing, consider persisting or giving up, anyway, as an adult, everything is yourself Take responsibility, come on, no matter what you choose!

7 months ago

More than ten years have passed, and I almost forgot about her, but I clearly remember the summer vacation of the sophomore year when she was in her junior year, and the night before the first visit to her house. That night, there were only my parents and I at home, which was no different from usual. The father is a person who talks very little. Of course, he talks very little with his children, and daily communication is limited to us calling him, and he responds. If there are other exchanges, he tells us what to do, such as: “Go and get a sickle”, that’s it. During the meal, I could see that my father had something to say, he should have been holding back. Finally, he said: “If their family members look bad tomorrow, they will come back quickly.” I said, “I see.” Yes, when I went to her house for the first time, only my father confessed such a sentence in the whole family. I only agreed. What does father mean? I am from the countryside, she is from the city. My father’s sentence actually told me: “We rural people never ask anyone, nor do we need to look at people’s faces. If people’s faces are not good, then they look down on you. If you are still there, it’s just a bone. , People look down on you, don’t care about anyone.” Really, my parents have never begged anyone or looked at anyone’s face in this life. As a son of mine, if I am neglected at my girlfriend’s house and shamelessly stay there, to be honest, not only my own person, but the faces of my parents will be lost! I’ve been hard-wired for a lifetime, so my son wants to go to someone else’s house to see his face? It’s not a weapon! This was the first time in my life that I fell in love. The only education my family gave me before I went to my partner’s home for the first time. Therefore, I was surprised that the subject actually went to the other party’s home to make a kiss three times, and everyone went on a blind date, and even went to the Internet to ask “what should I do”? ? Isn’t this the answer you should have when you go to her house for the first time? Two days ago, my colleagues had dinner together, let’s come 10 people. In the middle, I talked about a colleague on the table, and some people said that he is really like a star. Others also said, like! Confused, I asked: **Who is the star? My colleague looked at me in surprise: Brother Xun, are you? You don’t know about this, a member of Sodagreen! Oh, I know Sodagreen, but I don’t know the name, and I don’t know what song Sodagreen sang. Am I out? It’s not bad for me about this, really, I’m always humming a song when I have nothing to do. Actually, I have listened to too many songs, and I really can’t listen to it: “Please give me a chance, don’t say it doesn’t matter to love anymore”, eh? Why do you plead? “Please beg” someone gives you a chance to talk about a hammer. Love! For example: “Can we see each other again, I have been begging for thousands of years in front of the Buddha”, oh, I’m going, don’t talk about it, who will believe it? The big man, there is no one to be hypocritical! For example: “You have her perfume smell on your body, it’s the crime of my nose… Wiping your tears to sleep with you”, I fucked… Really, I want to drag people out for a fight, what’s all this? It smells of her perfume. Who else do you dry your tears to accompany him? Are you cheap? “How much more have to be said, and so many tears have to be shed. One day, I will make you change your mind…”, buddy, a little bit ambitious, let it go, okay? Why should I change my mind! ! ! There are so many tears for a big man to shed there, I am a human girl, and I will not change my mind, just look at me like that! …Look, these music, can you listen to it? They are all grown-ups, so why can’t they be generous and bless the other party, isn’t it good? Why do you have to live without someone else? It makes people look down! Don’t say that other girls use you as a spare tire, you choose to be a spare tire yourself! If you don’t want to be a spare tire, no one can use you as a spare tire! I think this girl is very good. It’s not that people don’t break up with you, it’s because you don’t want to! People don’t want to use you as a spare tire, it’s you who are rushing to catch you! I have mentioned it three times. What kind of attitude is everyone’s attitude so clear. You don’t have a b number yourself. Can you blame others? The first time you should understand the truth, you went to someone’s house for the second time, the third time… I really didn’t think there was any problem with the girl’s family. I clearly refused and said it was inappropriate. Since I refused, I want to follow Whoever goes on a blind date will go on a blind date. This is different from Xiang Sixing, who is hiding it secretly. This subject, people clearly rejected you and told you to go out on a blind date. It’s all here. If you don’t let go, you really can’t blame others! ! Don’t think that you should be supported if you are obsessed, I bah! If your infatuation does not get a response, please put away your self-improvement, and use your self-thinking “giving” to kidnap other girls’ feelings less! If people don’t want to, you’re still obsessed with it, just to cause trouble, understand? Don’t cause trouble to people-delay people’s blind date, you have a bing!

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x