In the class summary meeting, the counselor gave me membership cards and coupons for me to help order cakes.

It was cold and snowy that day, but the cards and coupons can only be used at the store, and the cake will be used the next day. I braved the snow and went to the cake shop to order a cake.

Forty people, 16-inch (40cm diameter) cakes can only be picked up by themselves. The cake shop does not help to deliver them. So I braved the cold wind to fetch the cake the next day, took a taxi to the school gate, and took the huge cake to the conference room by myself.

It’s very cold, it’s cumbersome to wear a large cotton-padded coat, and we have to work hard to ensure that the cake does not deform.

After arriving in the conference room, my face was blushed by the wind, and my body was full of sweat. Everyone only pays attention to how big the cake is, but no one said to me, “It’s hard work.” (I’m a new class manager, I’m not very familiar with everyone, no one can understand it)

But what I feel wronged is that such a big cake will definitely not be able to be moved back to other girls. And I’ve never ordered a cake by myself before. I think it’s pretty good that I can handle it without any problems, not to mention the wind and snow, the road is full of ice, the road so far, the cake is so good. It’s heavy and difficult to take, so I took a taxi fare for more than 40 yuan to get the job done.

But did not get praise from the counselor! ! !

Not even a word of “work hard”! ! !

There is no encouraging look at all! ! !

I feel so wronged and frustrated.

Why didn’t he encourage me? Will he think in his heart that I do things very reliable?

Because it is a new appointment, I am not so familiar with the instructor, so I am embarrassed to speak a lot. This is also the first time he has handed over a task to me alone. I wonder if he wants to use this to see how good I am, so I do it very carefully, and don’t want him to think that I’m troublesome. I can’t handle this little thing. .

But it may also be that I think too much, so many things, he only gave me this manual work, maybe it is because I feel that I am inferior to other people, it is cheap labor. At that time, I felt more aggrieved when I thought of this, and I didn’t dare to talk to other people, so I came to Zhihu to ask questions.

Child, you are too honest, you are a bit silly to be honest. Next time there will be such a thing, I will tell the counselor before I go: I can’t get it back alone, and the taxi fare needs to be reimbursed. Remember, I said before going. If you talked about difficulties in advance and he didn’t solve them for you, even if things go wrong, it is not your problem, because you talked about the difficulties ahead of time. If you don’t say anything, no one will care if it is done. If it fails, it will be your own pot. This is true whether in school or in the future. Your leader may not necessarily be a person who considers the problem thoroughly. He may not consider how difficult you are at all, and he may not even know what you do when you do things silently. He may think that you are reliable and easy to use, and as a result, he often gives you all kinds of thankless things. Of course, you should do more as a class cadre, but if the hard work is all directed at you, you are always thankless. Can you bear it? If you can’t stand it, just say it. But if you say it in advance, if you say it in advance, it means that you have considered the problem thoroughly, and if you say it afterwards, it is a complaint.

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
7 months ago

Let me be honest. This kind of grievance is common among young people. But it’s really unnecessary. There is no need to be wronged, and there is no need to hold back. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is harmful to others and self. The main point of the subject is that she feels that she has completed a very difficult task with superpower alone, but she has not been recognized and praised by anyone. Can I be wronged? can. But if she is a little mature, she will realize that this kind of situation shouldn’t happen at all. Not to mention grievances. I have experienced similar situations many times. When I was a freshman, I was a squad leader, and I distributed books on the first day of school. I went there by myself without thinking, and moved back and forth more than a dozen times alone. The new book is really heavy, and it’s cut off. I still remember the crazy hot weather. I was a girl on campus, struggling and gnashing her teeth. As a result, in the classroom, when everyone received the book, really, there was not even a word of thank you. What’s even more annoying is that someone actually patted me on the shoulder and said, “Huh, you can, stronger than men!” I’m tough on your grandmother’s legs! I was so angry that I wanted to hit someone and I wanted to cry. Fortunately, I have a long memory later. I have this kind of physical work directly handed over to the party secretary in the class (male), and I am “weak and unable to take care of myself”. (Don’t think this is green tea. I will tell you later that this is actually the correct operation.) However, a similar “powerful incident” happened again after I entered the workplace. In the first year of work, I was assigned to Beijing to support large-scale conferences, but I arrived at the venue at 8:30 in the evening and found out that I was facing dozens of boxes and hundreds of crystal trophies, and they had to be sorted before the next day. Make an inventory. What kind of concept is this? Later when we presented the awards, every award-winning guest paused when they got the trophy-a lot of weight and a solid weight. I also understand why the hotel staff repeatedly confirmed when they took me to check the inventory. Are you alone? Yes, just me, come on. To be honest, I spent the first half of that night in a crash. Fortunately, my colleague saw the Tucao I posted in Moments. They are all seniors with several years of work experience. Seeing this situation, they directly call to ask if they need help without saying anything. When they arrive at the address, they unload the mask and take a taxi. In the end, it was our four girls who were busy at the venue all night, and did not go back to rest until after three in the morning. The next day, everyone’s arms were too tired to lift up. I went to the sugar massage one by one, and I was grateful. But am I doing this right? I did wrong. If there were no kind colleagues to help me at the time, and the matter could not be completed, I would definitely be wronged and resign on the spot (in fact, I did have this idea). Just like the girl at the beginning, there was no one to help, and she struggled to transport the huge cake in the wind and snow alone. Although it was completed in the end, she was aggrieved to the extreme. You suffer, you are wronged, but you are also wrong. The correct way was taught to me by my leader later. He asked me, why didn’t he tell him? He said that if I told him this was the situation at the scene, he would transfer the boys in the group to help in the first place. This is the correct approach. Tell others what the situation is, what kind of help you need, and do things well. Furthermore, ask the situation clearly before starting, rehearse possible problems, and take emergency measures. This is the most effective way to avoid grievances, and it is also the correct way to do things. Most of the grievances we encounter in our lives are “non-structural”. In other words, it is not an inevitable problem, it is not valuable, and it is not influential. It is because of insufficient communication, wrong operation, inadequate understanding, emotional high, and most of all, “hero complex + heroine complex” and other reasons. For example, the invalid dialogue that can be perfunctory by “Uhhhııı and a dozen rounds and finally angers yourself is unnecessary in my opinion. This thing is the same. Say a few words and send a few messages to solve it. You have to grit your teeth, and it’s totally thankless. It’s really unnecessary. Neither hero, nor innocent, nor even pitiful. It’s just so stupid that it hurts. (Of course everyone will go through such a period) And when I moved books, even if I didn’t expect that the books would be a lot and heavy, I should stop when I first found that I was struggling to carry them, and immediately go to the boys for help. . Instead of gritting your teeth silently, losing your temper with others, or feeling wronged and uncomfortable yourself. You are uncomfortable, but the other party is actually quite wronged. Going back to the “lucky cake” matter, I probably don’t need my analysis and explanation anymore. Before starting, check whether the address is far away, confirm the weather conditions on the day, and contact other organizers of the event to avoid emergencies; during the process, if you find that you are beyond your ability, immediately report the situation and call to ask if you can Send more people to help, confirm whether the taxi can be reimbursed; after the end, appropriate credit. For example, when everyone sighed that it was so big, I said-yes, I was shocked at the time. You don’t know how heavy this cake is. When I carried it upstairs, I was almost desperate. Someone will praise you. So you see, you can easily circumvent it through [effective early communication + prompt help during the process]. You have to resist it alone, and in the end, you don’t say anything, and you struggle to write small essays online to ask netizens to agree. Very unnecessary. It’s not good for others, it’s not good for ourselves, and it only benefits those of us who write articles to increase material and topics. Why bother. In addition to this, I would also like to talk about why silent grievances will “harm others and self.” Because I am a victim of this emotion. It is easy to understand that it hurts oneself. Because you will be uncomfortable, and will affect your own enthusiasm, cause misjudgments to yourself and others, and fall into a vicious circle. (For example, in the article, do you think I didn’t do well so you don’t praise me, am I too hypocritical, is he not sympathetic at all, etc.) Harmfulness is more serious. Because most of the time, what you think of as a “bad guy” actually doesn’t realize that you hurt others. At other times, the “harm” we feel is actually groundless. This is because our own and others have different [evaluation criteria] and [difficulty] feelings for the same thing; and the details experienced by the person who gives the order and the person who executes it are also different. For example, for the female protagonist in the article, it was the first time that she did it to deliver cakes. It was very difficult and there were many uncertainties on the scene. So she felt that-“Other girls may not be able to do well, I can It’s already pretty good to get this thing done without any problems.” For the counselor, order a cake, take it, go out and call for a car, drive to the bottom of the teaching building, go upstairs, and call it if it’s too heavy. Personal help. It’s that simple thing. You think you are slashing the mountain to save your mother, but in the eyes of others, it is just a knife-cut tofu. Here I do not say who is “right” and who is “wrong”, because there is actually no right or wrong. It’s just that because of the gap in age, experience, ability, etc., there is a natural and hard-to-bridge cognitive gap. And grievances often appear from the gap. For example, if I do so well, why doesn’t he praise me. Or, Ta treats me so indifferently, it really hurts me. But people really just feel that it won’t happen. The gap in the amount of information, the strength of empathy, the judgment of your personal abilities, etc., will all become one of the sources of this attitude. And if you feel wronged or even complain about this, and if you hold back and get angry silently, you will make the other person embarrassed and get angry. The end result is that two people can’t understand each other. This is harmful. To put it more simply, people don’t even know that you are so miserable, and you still feel that you are so miserable that others ignore yourself. Do you say that you are a little bit ignorant of martial arts? However, this kind of thinking misunderstanding of “bearing humiliation and being aggrieved” is often very common, and was even once praised as one of the good qualities. “I did it silently, and let me be a little wronged, anyway, sooner or later others will find me good.” This is actually… a typical self-deception. First of all, you are not that good. Most people can’t do it so well. If you want to make things “gold will shine”, you really have to be extraordinarily prominent. This not only requires you to bear the burden of humiliation for a long time, but also requires that your humiliation is cumulative, valuable, not one-time, and it is not “necessary”. Take the cake, for example, unless you go to help the class to take a huge cake every time it rains during the four years of college, and people are impressed by your suffering, otherwise it will not take a week, and the cake in your stomach will not be digested. Someone will remember this. Second, and more importantly, if you do not let people know what you do, it will be difficult for someone to know. This sounds like nonsense, but most people really don’t know. Many people, including me a few years earlier, have a very second-degree “protagonist thinking” + “God perspective”. That is, I am the protagonist of this world, everyone is paying attention to me, giving me points or rewards and punishments silently; and all the pictures I experience will be photographed and people will know. Under this premise, they couldn’t understand how hard and tired I was. That must be their problem. For example, it is very common in relationships. I got up at five o’clock in the morning for her, went over the wall and ran to the bun shop on the corner of the street to buy the freshest buns, and then rode to her dormitory downstairs to give her to eat. Not even touched! Did not care about me or comfort me! My hands are red, can’t she see it? But, I’m sorry-I really can’t see it! ! ! I don’t think so much when I see it! Unless you tell the other party where you bought the buns yourself, it is likely that you bought them from the cafeteria or nearby by default. You may also think that you bought them for a walk in the morning, and you can’t make up for so much. In the same way, you are dying of the cold, trying to maintain a balance and holding the cake, all kinds of worries on the road. But others really can’t empathize. Unless your teacher has worked as a takeaway delivery person, or was forced by your wife to go to the rookie station to pick up huge packages on a rainy day, it is difficult to understand your experience. This is the “cognitive cocoon room.” Everyone understands the world within the scope of their own cognition, and things outside of cognition cannot be recognized. You can only tell him. If you don’t say it, others won’t have the perspective of God. The heroine in the TV series can bear the burden of humiliation and can be a little white flower, because all the grievances she has endured will be known by the hero sooner or later, and will receive feedback. It’s because she has the blessing of screenwriters. But we really didn’t. So you can watch TV series, but you must never learn it. You will die if you learn it. Finally, let’s discuss the methodology consistently. How to avoid being “wronged” to the greatest extent? And how to make up for your emotional loss after being wronged? The first thing to do is to completely throw away the erroneous thinking of “bearing humiliation heroine script”. And the correct thinking logic is: I see all the monarchs are stupid x, I expect them to see me should be like this. The summary of this sentence is really incisive, so please copy it to me and read it carefully. What do you mean, that is to treat the person who arranges for you as a fool who doesn’t know what to do, and at the same time, he also acquiesces that he is a fool in front of this matter. Because he is stupid, you need to input what is the correct situation, what is your true ability, what you worry about, and what you did; because you are stupid, you need to confirm with the other party the amount of information you have (such as retelling , In case you understand it wrong); you need to ask for help (whether it is human or material resources or methods); you need to express your emotions (because you are likely to think too much). After having this idea, the world suddenly opened up. 99% of non-structural grievances in life can be avoided. Really, write this sentence in your notebook, on your computer, and tattoo it on your body. This sentence is particularly good. Secondly, you need to have a set of process thinking. Analysis: Why are you wronged? ——The process was very hard, I worked hard, and the ending was very unhappy. Discussion: How to not be wronged? ——Reduce the hard work of the process: be prepared, avoid in advance, consider the process — present your own efforts: present effectively, communicate in time, and ask for help in time (simple empathy, don’t expect others to “discover”) — try to think The main outcome: lower expectations (I don’t think this is a very powerful thing), increase actions (implied, explicit). With these two thinking + method adjustments, it is really possible to avoid many, many unnecessary grievances in life . Due to space limitations, the two topics of “how to communicate and express one’s dissatisfaction” and “how to establish a working process thinking” are included in my public account [Guide to Self-Help in Salted Fish Life]. There are the dry stuff I shared about personal growth, thinking and cognition, and life methodology. Less than 1% of the pure original numbers in the entire network. The update frequency is slow because every article is written carefully. Link to the original text of this article: “I am afraid of those who are silently wronged”

heloword
7 months ago

Yes, I have encountered something similar to this, so let’s talk about my own experience. Class meeting, buy milk tea, good guys, thirty or forty people, dead. I told the monitor directly: “No, too much, I can’t take it, come two people to help me a little bit” Humbo~Come and two people, I sat in front of the milk tea shop and waited for it to be done. Dan, nonsense, pee in which cup to see who wins the prize. When it’s done, take it, the class meeting is over, and one person takes a cup and leaves. When it comes to praise, you don’t have to have it, any instructor, class committee, everyone is stunned. Then why do you stand alone over there holding a deadly stuff with bitter enmity? Don’t do everything by yourself, communicate more, talk more, live more comfortably, and there will be more times when you are wronged in the future.

helpyme
7 months ago

Update on January 11, 2021. Because a lot of interesting content has been added to the comment area, I will also update this answer here. There may be friends who think that this matter is actually a small matter, and there is no need to say it so formally. Things are indeed trivial, but there will still be issues of principle. What I want to talk about is the principle of doing business in an official manner. Some friends will say, buy cakes, if you can’t get them, ask your roommates to ask your friends to get them together. This is of course possible, and I think many people (including me) should do this in the first reaction. But what about something of the same nature? The counselor needs you to move a dozen tables and chairs from the classroom on the first floor to the classroom on the third floor. At this time, asking a friend to ask a roommate to move together, will it feel wrong? In fact, the types of these two things are the same, to do things collectively, which is what I call official business. Buying a cake is also a business matter. If you can’t get it, it’s perfectly reasonable not to ask a friend to talk to the counselor, and then ask a classmate to get it together. The purpose of this answer is actually to tell the students that official business is reasonable and reasonable. We sometimes ignore the nature of the matter because of the size of the matter. This is indeed possible to a certain extent, but if you choose to do business by business , Remember that this is not hypocritical, but correct and appropriate to the situation. In rainy and snowy weather, if you can’t get the cake back, it’s reasonable and fair to take a taxi back. The fare reimbursement is also reasonable. It’s okay to take a taxi back and forth for more than ten yuan, once or twice. But if you run dozens of times a year and ignore the dozen or so yuan each time, it will add up to a considerable amount of expense. I hope that everybody in this situation, don’t think about it so much, don’t think that it is a stingy operation to be reimbursed for a dozen yuan fare. It is your freedom not to be reimbursed, but it is reasonable and fair for you to choose to reimburse. This is business, you are worthy of the collective, and you should be worthy of yourself. Let’s talk about going back to the class. The class leader uses love to generate electricity. I also mentioned this. However, using love to generate electricity does not mean unreasonable sacrifice and dedication. The class work itself is free (except for excellent evaluation). It is okay to spend time and energy. Do what you think is reasonable, and do it if you think it is unreasonable. , Just think of a way to turn it into a reasonable one before doing it, and refuse it if it is really unreasonable. Only when you leave enough love for yourself, can you share the excess love with others.

sina156
7 months ago

Considering that you are a class leader, it is estimated that you will often deal with counselors in the future. Here is an analysis of this matter for you. First of all, you are arranged to buy cakes. This is the task. Complete the task is what you should do, the counselor can praise you or not praise you. Of these two methods, the former is better, but the latter does not have any problems. Secondly, business matters. You are assigned tasks. This is an official business, and it means that you have to do it in a fair and open manner. Here to explain, fairness is not only fair to others, but also fair to oneself. To make it public is to provoke it when you encounter difficulties (not to say that you are in line with the counselor in the group, but you have to truthfully state the difficulties you encountered in the process of handling the affairs to the counselor) Finally, learn to refuse. Although you are a class leader, you are also a student. There is no obligation to complete the task (but this is when you assign the task, you have to weigh whether you can do it or not, and then choose not to refuse. If you accept the task and don’t want to halfway through it Done, this is not quite right). So let’s take a look at what you should do: Go to the cake shop and find that the cake is too big to hold. Here we must directly explain the situation to the counselor and show that I hope to get help from other students. The journey is relatively long and encounters bad weather. This is also a direct explanation of the situation, and then stated that it is best to take a taxi back, and then ask the counselor if you can get reimbursed if you take a taxi back. As for complimenting things like this, it’s your duty to do things well, and don’t think about things with children’s thinking. Let me talk about it again, how to state the problem and ask for help. For example, the cake is too big. Teacher (the name should be polite, so it’s easy to ask for help) This cake seems to be bigger than I thought, I am a little worried that I can’t take it back alone. (State the situation, and then state the consequences of the uncertainty) Can you ask another classmate to help bring the cake back together? (Request) It is necessary to make a request. It is his choice for the counselor to disagree, but for you, the request and the difficulty of the statement cannot be less. One more thing, when you accept the task, you must focus on completing the task to avoid messing up. Imagine that you are still trying to solve the problem this time, but the cake is too big and you hold it and turn it to the ground. This is a messed up situation. Not only will you not receive praise, but you may also give your counselor the impression that you are not doing well. Isn’t that even more wronged? Therefore, completing the task and avoiding messing up is the core problem you have to solve, not to complete the task better. Oh, and you have to remember that the relationship between the counselor and you is not the relationship between your boss and subordinates. So you are free, you can do what you can, and you cannot resign. Don’t worry that he will treat you unfairly because of this. If you give it, you will make things worse. If you take control of anything, you will not lose.

yahoo898
7 months ago

I don’t have a direct answer. It just suddenly occurred to me that if you accidentally slipped on the ice and snow road, the cake would fall into a smash. What would it be like when you walk into the classroom with muddy bodies, embarrassed faces, and tears carrying crumbs of cake? Perhaps, the teacher will suddenly reflect and shouldn’t let you buy cakes alone; there will also be classmates who will come over and ask if you are hurt; someone will say that they will hold the cake puree and eat and say that this is him. The most special cake I have ever eaten, to comfort you. Someone will definitely say, go with you next time. Of course of course. . I’m not suggesting you drop the cake! Although we sometimes despise “Crying children have milk to eat!” But this seems to be the behavioral characteristics of many people. If something goes well, usually no one pays attention. On the contrary, it is the people who stumble and care about it. Little classmates, I don’t want to suggest you how to do it. Just analyze the characteristics of people and adjust the process of doing things next time.

leexin
7 months ago

This is so similar to the way I did things when I first went to work. At that time, I was so stupid. I thought that the task entrusted to me by the leader I just had to give him the result. I would not say anything when I encountered difficulties, I would just squat my head. , If he doesn’t say “you and xxx will do it together”, I can’t even think of someone else to cooperate with me, let alone the need to spend money to reimburse. Fortunately, my previous direct leaders have been super caring about me, and from time to time they dragged me to the office, according to my two job survival skills… Actually, although ordering cakes is a trivial matter, they can also be handled according to work routines. The counselor asks you to order the 16-inch cake for the class work summary meeting. You just agreed, should you think about the possible problems before doing it? For example, if 40 people eat cakes, do you want to ask if you have any dietary restrictions or allergies? For the cake at the summary meeting, do I need to set up some theme-related text or patterns? Of course it also includes, such a big cake, is the cake shop deliver it? How can I get it back if I don’t send it? Then you have solved the problem that can be solved and you are ready to order the cake. Can you say hello to the counselor? For example, you asked everyone for their opinions. The classmates have no allergies and dietary restrictions, and prefer fruit mousse cakes, so you chose this one. In order to meet the situation, prepare to explain that the cake chef writes the slogan of the class on it. Ask the counselor if there are any questions and tell him that you are now out and ready to order cakes. After ordering a cake in a cake shop, can I ask the clerk for questions that you don’t know? For example, when will the cake be ready? Can you give us 40 dishes? Can it be delivered? Of course, you now know that the cake shop is not delivering delivery, so as a temporary “big customer” who has ordered a big cake, can I discuss it with the cake shop and let them think of a solution? But let’s assume that the cake shop just can’t deliver…At this time, you should communicate with the counselor again and tell him the current progress, the difficulties encountered, the next time node and the risks that may be faced in the future. For example, now that the cake has been ordered, I also remind the clerk to prepare enough tableware. You can pick up the goods at xx tomorrow, but the cake shop can’t deliver it, so you can only pick it up at your door, and you need to bring a strong student over to help. Then jokingly asked if the taxi fare for escorting the cake to the meeting room was reimbursed. Finally, when I get the cake the next day, can I say hello to the counselor and let him know that things are going well without worrying about mistakes? For example, the cake has already been taken, and the cake is super big, thanks to the help of classmate xx. The taxi is now available, and today the weather is bad. You have already made a rich time in advance. You are expected to arrive at the meeting room at xx o’clock in advance, and you can arrange it first when you arrive. Although it seems a bit fussy to follow the work routine, many steps can actually be simplified or omitted according to the actual situation. But what I feel wronged is that such a big cake will definitely not be able to be moved back to other girls. And I’ve never ordered a cake by myself before. I think it’s pretty good that I can handle it without any problems, not to mention the wind and snow, the road is full of ice, the road so far, the cake is so good. It’s heavy and difficult to take, so I took a taxi fare for more than 40 yuan to get the job done. But did not get praise from the counselor! Not even a word of “work hard”! There is no encouraging look at all! I feel so wronged and frustrated. Why didn’t he encourage me? Will he think in his heart that I do things very reliable? Your aggrieved place is that you have done a lot of hard work without being encouraged, but once you fail to tell your own difficulties, you may subconsciously feel that ordering cakes is just going to the cake shop to give money. , The parents drove the car again the next day to help bring the cake back. Secondly, no one asks you to do this by yourself. You can ask the counselor to arrange another classmate to help, or you can ask if you can take a taxi for reimbursement, or even ask if the counselor can drive (if he has Words) Take the cake. So yeah, crying children have milk to eat. You want to be a steadfast person, but you also have to learn to let others know what you did.

greatword
7 months ago

It took me a long time to realize that the value of people is not to satisfy the approval of others, and people do not have to live in the expectations of others. And since I was little, the education I received has allowed me to meet the expectations of others. Reading is to make your parents happy and shining your ancestors; to work for civil servants, family members have face and can help; getting married and having children is to let parents hug their grandson earlier and pass on from generation to generation. Seeing the subject’s reaction, I remembered me a long time ago. I can even immediately show the way you get along with your parents and your teacher. You must be a “good” child, always moving in the “right” direction that the teachers and parents told you. When you behave well, they will praise you and reward you, and you have been addicted to this kind of feedback. But have you ever asked yourself what do you need? Do you really love the major you are studying, do you recognize the orders given to you by the counselor, and whether you are willing to become the leader of that class. When I asked myself this for the first time, I fell into a deep confusion and panic. If I don’t follow the directions given by my parents, where should I go? What’s more, many people in this world, who listen to their parents, seem to have a good time. The world is like this, but not necessarily right. It is indeed easy to follow the path given by others, but you have also seen the problem. When others do not give you feedback or you do not meet the expectations of others, you will have doubts about yourself. I have read a lot of books, and I have also reflected on it, and shared a few of my thoughts with you: 1. What we think of as “expectations” is not necessarily the real “expectations” of others. For example, my grandmother always wanted me to be a civil servant, but she essentially wanted me to live a better life. After I showed her the evidence of a good life, she was very happy. We sometimes construct the expectations of others subjectively, but it is not the truth. All this is just because we are too accustomed to satisfying others…2. Having met the expectations of others, the happiness I get is very short-lived. Typically, I got the first place in the exam when I was a child, and was praised by my dad for 20 yuan. I was happy at the time, but I quickly forgot about it. Using your example, you moved back to the cake, and the counselor praised you. After three minutes of happiness, it may be gone. If you want to do it yourself, and then do it, that sense of accomplishment will not only make you happy when you think about it, but it will also be used in your future life. For example, the first time I wrote Zhihu’s answer, I got a thousand praises, and the excitement at that time is still fresh in my memory. 3. Satisfying others blindly, doing things becomes painful. For example, I don’t like the job of a civil servant at all, and I don’t want to study computer science, and I don’t want to deal with relatives that I don’t like with my conscience. I met the expectations of others. I was not happy at all when I was doing things. When others saw me, they were not happy. In the end, everyone was unhappy. 4. We are not renminbi, so everyone can’t like it. Someone hates you, it’s the norm in life. How other people evaluate you is other people’s business, not yours. I hope you don’t have to live in the expectations of others. If you are also confused, you can read this pretty good book “The Courage to Be Disgusted”. To live, you must have the courage to be hated by others.

loveyou
7 months ago

The first to praise people, we said: Those who can do more work; in fact, now you can think of it as: Those who do more can do it. In college, I still feel that I need to be a little aggressive, a little reckless, to try, and try as much as possible. Therefore, if you want to wear the crown, you must suffer from it. I used to work as class monitor and club president. In this kind of thing, I really feel that it is a blessing to suffer a loss; people will not praise you face to face, and the subconscious mind will still remember you silently. Take the cake this time. It’s an experience of your way of doing things. Isn’t it an experience of your state of mind? You know, you are still in the student stage. If you are really new to society, you may be blinded for unknown reasons, so don’t worry about what you got on the surface, but find out what you got at a deeper level. Before I finish writing a reminder, I don’t know how your class fees are governed. If this happened to me at that time, I will apply to the class teacher to explain the following. Due to the weather and the size of the cake, I need to take a taxi back and forth. The cost should be It is paid by class fees. There is nothing embarrassing to mention about such an upright thing.

strongman
7 months ago

At first glance, I think the title is hypocritical, 16 inches, usually 6 pounds of cake, eaten by 16-20 people, less than three kilograms. I took the bus by myself (there was no logistics and no delivery before, so I paid the deposit when I made the order, and the balance when I picked it up). The broken factory is in the suburbs, and the cake shop is in the city. The factory manager is not the boss, but a senior worker (a fat old man, he’s fatter than me, more than 300 catties, he has to be picked up from the office to the cafeteria, and he can’t go upstairs if there is no elevator. The factory has only a freight elevator. The factory manager Take the freight elevator up and down), and I don’t know who came up with a flattering idea to celebrate his birthday at public expense every year (the emperor is far away from the mountain). The office eats birthday cake (workshop workers eat other snacks), and the administrator asks me for help to get it. Of course, she is only responsible for payment. The cake is a whole, and I must take it alone. I used my spine against the bus’s pillars, spread my feet apart to form a stable triangle, and then spread my arms to form a ring to protect the cake and prevent others from squeezing the cake box. I don’t remember how hard it was (things in the last century, ages old). Of course, there are so many people on the bus that the cake boxes are covered with cream in the end. In the second year, the administration took a taxi to collect it by himself. Looking at the text, there are 40 people. Everyone sighs that the cake is so big. Maybe the cake is a double-layered, triple-layered or even more layered cake (this is far more than 6 pounds). The subject is still a girl. I didn’t waste time, didn’t break the cake, paid the fare by myself, and spent money to do things beautifully, yet I didn’t get the results I wanted. It was too pitiful. The subject of the topic should not be afraid, and it must be difficult to say in advance. If you say it in advance, it is thoughtful, and if you say it afterwards, it is a love to complain. I have eaten too much of the loss in this regard. Later, the factory manager and I became more and more disgusted with each other. Finally, I left after a fight with the factory director. Share a little workplace experience

stockin
7 months ago

In fact, many people are indeed brainwashed to some extent by chicken soup like “send the letter to Garcia.” But in reality, to complete the task regardless of the cost, the premise is that you agree that you can get the return regardless of the cost. For example, the background of that article is the “army.” Soldiers complete their tasks regardless of the cost, because the victory of the war is worth any price. However, at work, your job is not to achieve bosses regardless of cost, because no boss can give back to employees regardless of cost. Therefore, if the task assigned by the leader cannot be completed with the given resources, then you must clearly propose it. If you fail to mention it, it means that you don’t care about the lack of resources. For example, the leader may think that you came back with a boyfriend’s ride, and it is not an issue at all. Therefore, you can’t blame the leader for not praising you. It is your duty to complete what you have explained, and there is nothing to praise. You didn’t list the lack of resources to complete the project, that is your own problem. Just learn a lesson from this incident.

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