Those who are unhappy in college are actually unhappy in high school. It’s just that there is something to do in high school. The collective atmosphere and collective goals point to something for the college entrance examination, and everyone is pushed away. I didn’t have much time to think about my unhappiness, or I acquiesced in accepting that “high school is unhappy”. At the same time, I also added an expectation to the university that “I should be happy in college” and worked hard with hope. Such people will be even more unhappy when they arrive at the university. Because the gap was too big, they found that the university never released happiness, even grandma’s dreams and goals did not release. Every day, it broadcasts garbage channels such as “anxiety, 996, life is meaningless”. Many people have no self-awareness, and their goals have always been released. Coupled with the output of the junk emotions of these bad channels, they are confused. Because it has transitioned from the unit of collective goals to the pluralism of free exploration. These people will be more confused and at a loss because there is nothing to do, and their own emotions such as “boring and empty, occasional anxiety, frustration” will be more acutely discovered, and they will have more time to “taste” after discovery. Therefore, it is even more painful. However, it is difficult to simply attribute this situation to “too idle.” Because there is another big difference between high school and university, that is, timely feedback. There are frequent exams in high school, and you can monitor the “benefits of your efforts” at any time. But the university does not, half the term, at the end of the semester, even if the grades are good, you will find that “this kind of benefit is not too obvious, and it takes too long.” Human happiness is bound to interpersonal relationships to a certain extent. People who have not felt and experienced intimacy tend to have a sense of dissociation in life. “I always seem to be outside of life. Everything around me seems to be unreal and has nothing to do with me.” For us, the presence of self-feeling is very important, and this sense of presence is to a certain extent The above relies on the feedback from the outside world to us. “You exist, so I exist.” High school is a strong interpersonal relationship, while college is a weak interpersonal relationship. “Not only did the bond with classmates weaken, the bond with parents also weakened, and the bond with teachers also weakened.” The recognition from authority has decreased. When we find that there is nothing to prove, no one will prove it. Look, when no one is in charge and no one is sharing, our motivation to prove is also weakened. Of course, the negative side is over. Let’s talk about “how to do it” or “how to think” to a certain extent. I think that when one has a certain degree of freedom, the ability of “self-exploration” is particularly important. But the basis of self-exploration is “a certain degree of openness.” Many people choose “self-enclosure” at the beginning of the matter and at the beginning of the interpersonal relationship. “I don’t think I like this thing, I think I’m not good at it, I’m not very good at socializing, I don’t think life is meaningful, I think my personality cannot be changed.” You may say these words based on experience, and you may even feel that you are “a rational and objective judgment of yourself.” However, in fact, when you say these words, it is more of an escape and self-comfort. It may be because of fear, or it may be because of fear that “undermines your self-esteem and superiority”, so you use these words to comfort yourself. “Character can be changed, life can be meaningful.” When you leave your illusion, turn to reality, let go of your superiority and vanity, when you start to have the courage to face “you may not be good at it, but you work hard “You will do well”, maybe your stubbornness will begin to peel off. I really hope you can understand the following words: “Only you can be responsible for your life, and all your status quo can only be changed by you.” You have to be responsible for your happiness and happiness, and you have to find ways to make yourself happier. , Stretch a little bit more.