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In order to make this answer a bit of reference value, not to be a meaningless persuasion/no persuasion to retreat, just write something, of course, every school may not be exactly the same: 1. To study a PhD in biology, you must be satisfied with starvation and interest. Two, otherwise absolutely do not read a Ph.D. 2. Many people continue to read a Ph.D. because they can’t figure out what to do in the future. Don’t do that. It’s a waste of your own time. 3. In general, it is recommended to go abroad to study a PhD in biology, especially It is the United States, which is still good for future career development. 4. Compared with domestic, the advantages of the United States are high wages, low pressure (mostly), and easy immigration. If the boss is good, it is similar to being in heaven. The disadvantage is that the information is not equal. The unequal treatment of local and international students may be worse than the domestic choice of the wrong tutor. 4. The strength of the tutor is definitely not limited to deciding your article and graduation. The American academic circle is in a group, and the industry needs networking. A strong tutor is right. Your job search is not a bit helpful but decisive. 5. When choosing a school, you should talk to the seniors and sisters of the school. The good biology is the opportunity to rotate. This is really valuable. First of all, everyone with poor reputation is the tutor. Clearly, secondly, my mentor, such a hidden player, takes advantage of the rotation to find seniors from different laboratories, and they will speak truth after drinking. 6. If there is an uncoordinated conflict with the boss during the Ph.D., if you want to continue to have academic development, Change the laboratory immediately. (Personal and experience of people around you) If there is a drama for graduation, you just want to graduate, don’t tear your face, in the words of my committee, the student who tears his face with the boss always ends ugly 7. The academic world hardly exists to control the boss, our college is known as The three powers of department/pi/committee are separated, but Professor Tenure can’t fail at all. Students challenging the authority of the mentor are also prickly at the head of the department. Of course they don’t want to see it. My lab mate prepared all the evidence that the boss grabbed her authorship to appeal (the gray area is difficult to determine, just say that your contribution is not enough authorship, what can you do), the dean backhands a forwarding, our pi revenge is even more ruthless 8. When did we find ourselves not It’s not too late for academics/not to like biology. The key is to try/prep immediately if you find it. If you don’t try, you never know what you like. 9. Don’t use PhD/academics as a way to escape social interaction. Academia needs social networking occasions. A lot, of course, especially in the United States, networking is the most important thing. It is recommended to go to the career center of the school more than one year in advance to chat and learn. They will teach you how to write email and how to hug your thighs. 10. The academic faculty is definitely the smoothest that everyone yearns for, but it is full of objective facts, don’t put yourself Confined to a career, evaluate your own strength objectively, turn off Zhihu, and go outside to chat with people in different fields. 2.20 If you don’t want to continue reading the Ph.D. and go to some academic directions, refer to 11. If you want to know the industry, you can go to the local life science big company coffee chat/intern/ community/entrepreneurship/incubator related activities. Explain a misunderstanding. Entrepreneurship-related training is not only to encourage you to start a business (I personally think that fresh grads can’t do anything good), for our Ph.D., it is to understand the ecology of local biomedicine and learn from the development trajectory of others. 12. Want to jump out Biology graduates can read CS/stats master (my school sisters Zhang). If you want to have a deeper development in medicine, you can consider taking a master’s degree in regulatory science/PKPD. 13. The school is good, the grades are good, and you are not afraid to deal with people. You can try the consulting industry (high salary but frequent business trips, tired). Biological dogs can enter management/biological consultation. The preparation is to find more people in the consulting industry to chat and establish contacts and practice cases (more than half a year is better, and one or two months of training for beginners). MBB, especially BCG, recruits more doctors, and of course the requirements are relatively high. If you focus on biomedical consulting, related companies actually travel less, and they are more willing to recruit people who understand the industry. Therefore, they usually pay more attention to the industry information investment industry, especially the pharmaceutical-related investment. Because the startups are very hot in the past two years, they also start to recruit fresh grads. La, but they prefer to have internship experience, and the salary at the beginning of the job is not very high. 14. It is better to start from a large pharmaceutical company when you just graduate, but the requirements for articles/projects are relatively high. CRO/CMO companies are developing very fast now and recruit more fresh grads. If you really can’t find a job and want to go to the pharmaceutical industry, you can consider a start-up company position. There are many positions now, the salary is not low but tired and unstable. 15. For the position, research R&D cell culture/protein purification technology recruits a lot of people ( Master’s salary is low, Ph.D. is quite high), PD, Msat, etc. are not so scientific research is also OK. The major is not popular/research is not good, but you are not afraid of dealing with people, you can invest in majors such as PM/RA and have a larger medical relationship. You can consider applying for a medical liaison officer (MSL) of a pharmaceutical company. The salary is higher and there are more business trips and more exchanges with people than sales. Force the grid to be much higher. There are many business trips, foreign countries have relatively high language requirements, and I don’t know how to do it in China. 16. The next step is to return to the country to find civil servants/high school teachers from all over the country. It is stable and has many holidays. In fact, it is a good choice. There are also some research institutes that directly recruit Ph.Ds. Generally, they will directly have an establishment. However, the salary is low and the pressure of scientific research is very different. Some of them can be mixed directly and wait for death.


By zhiwo

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7 months ago

Why not sum up, how to abolish the Ph.D.? Answer: One is procrastination, two is waiting, three is consumption, four is obedient, five is passive, and six is ​​transferred. (Interlude Soul Question: How many things did you do during the eight months of staying at home in 2020? Did you write a new paper?) One delay. Whether it is objectively that the tutor delays the feedback, delays the revision of the paper (feedback once a month or two), or is subjectively afraid of writing the paper, or does not have various deadlines to urge you to leisurely travel, delay is a taboo. What you need to write a paper is fast feedback, more writing and more throwing, running in small steps, and accelerating iteration. Second wait. When the instructor delays feedback or even directs random and repeated tossing, when the first article is “hanged” by the instructor for a year or two, remember not to wait. Immediately start the next paper, you can seek the help and cooperation of other teachers and classmates. Don’t expect the cattle to lead you, it’s very dangerous. Don’t expect to revise and publish the top issue repeatedly, it is very dangerous. Three consumption. Enthusiasm, motivation, and willpower are easily consumed. Therefore, there must be quick feedback (don’t wait for feedback from the tutor, you can ask the previous teacher for help, you can submit to the journal to see the feedback), phased results (for example, write 1-2 articles in a semester, and publish at least 1 article a year. Is the minimum requirement). Always remember to focus on your own efforts-95%, supplemented by mentor guidance/peer exchange-5%. If the instructor does not guide / guide blindly / feedback is slow, immediately turn to peer communication. Four obedient. Recognize the essence of the mentor as the boss, draw a big pie/PUA to understand? Many tutors don’t really care about students. Stocking is better. The most terrible thing is that it consumes you. So the kind of tutors who are not allowed to participate in conferences/lectures/international exchanges, the kind of tutors who think four years are better than three years, the kind of tutors who don’t ask about the progress, the feedback is slow, and the guidance is casual, the kind that gives you a rhythm but The mentor who keeps you from publishing the paper, the kind of mentor who makes you want to publish a paper over and over again, just have a snack for yourself. Don’t try to please your mentor by obedient and wronged everything, and don’t refrain from communicating with other teachers because you are worried that your mentor has ideas for yourself. Five passive. Passiveness will lead to closure and rhythm. In the end, it is easy to go wrong and end badly. Take the initiative to advance your own scientific research progress (don’t be blinded by your tutors), take the initiative to seek help from experienced people (don’t be afraid of losing face), take the initiative to communicate with various students (don’t have knowledge conservatism), and take the initiative to shield yourself from the outside world Influence (such as so and so who has an annual salary of one million, so and so who has married and had a baby, and the various imaginations and evaluations of the “doctors” by people around you have nothing to do with you, okay) Six transfers. Research is the top priority of the Ph.D. No matter what happens, don’t shift your focus. Interests, hobbies, part-time jobs, excessive entertainment, ineffective social interaction, emotional life, daily life, etc., must be controlled. Practice rejection/tanning/gentleness, don’t care too much about others’ opinions, let alone be kidnapped by moral affection. Failure to graduate will make all this meaningless and will overshadow all the short-lived joys. The most important factor in Ph.D. is the mentor and yourself. If your tutor doesn’t care about your dissertation or graduation (recognize this early), give up the expectation of your tutor early and rely on yourself! Come on! Not to mention the cases, they are everywhere. Personally, I finally see that the path I am walking is the path of graduating, and I am currently in the process of rescuing. An immature university reform suggestion restricts the enrollment of master tutors and doctoral tutors. The maximum number of graduates is 3 for a master’s degree and 2 for a doctoral degree. It is stipulated that one graduate is given a quota for enrollment. By this standard, a doctoral supervisor has 3×3+2×3=15 students, which is enough. We have more than 20 students in the same discipline, which is tantamount to raising pigs! Rescue ing ing ing. Suddenly, there are so many people like it, flattered. Yesterday I had dinner with a classmate and counted my faults. Like to hit ddl, the rhythm is very slow without ddl. It can only be single-threaded, not multi-threaded. Multithreading will crash. The learning environment is very demanding, so it can only be done in the library, but not at home in the dormitory. Can’t switch state quickly. Don’t want to learn as soon as the state is destroyed. The goal is not firm and the mentality is unstable. Slight perfectionism, detail control, obsessive-compulsive disorder. Too closed and passive, not easy to ask for help. Too credulous. Did not seize the opportunity for training. . . . Before I said a few times, he said it was not your fault. . . Ahhhh, it feels very warm in an instant. It is difficult to read Ph.D., but difficult to go to the sky.

7 months ago

All the students of a certain thousand professors at a certain 985 university in Shanghai were basically dismissed by him. Fortunately, the professor has resigned in about 16 years. This person recruited about ten PhDs, and none of them graduated before he left. Is the student under-level? Not! All the students graduated successfully within one year after he left. However, most of them were in their 30s or even 40s by the time of graduation. Later, he wanted to recruit students, but the college refused to allow him and stipulated that one graduate should be given one enrollment quota. The college clearly put pressure on it like this, and he still didn’t let anyone go until he left. I know one of his students who graduated because he was over the age limit and couldn’t find any teaching position. Some schools directly told him: I don’t care how many papers you post, no matter how many projects you do, if you are over age, you just can’t get in. The student told me that in order to prevent his essays from being suppressed by his supervisor, he tried one journal one by one to see which review process did not require the corresponding author to confirm. Finally, he concealed his teacher from publishing three papers. The impression given to me by this person’s students is that they are extremely unconfident. Due to the daily blow of the boss ranging from seven years to eight years, and the long period of more than ten years, coupled with the life and spiritual pressure brought about by the long-term failure to graduate, he has had an extremely self-denying emotion towards himself. When the student was looking for a job, he could not find a teaching position. I said to him: It doesn’t matter if you are over the age limit and can’t enter the school. You can try the industry. The things you did during your Ph.D. allowed you to master mechanical, electronic, and automatic control. Your knowledge of the three disciplines makes you very suitable for the industry. Your background is very unique. There are few people in the industry who have mastered the three disciplines like you. The current domestic industrial upgrading’s desire for automated production makes you Ability is very useful in the industry, as long as you go to the industry to submit your resume, as long as you try, your industry will never let you down. He answered me in this way: No, what my doctor does is a pile of shit, and there is no place to ask for me.

7 months ago

Let me explain. What I want to express is “disuse”, not that I think my brother has disqualified himself from his Ph.D. I really like and admire him, and we still contact him often by email (he never uses social software such as WeChat). I just think he is such a good person, but in the eyes of outsiders, he is crazy, and he will do things that ordinary people can’t understand. He certainly doesn’t care what everyone thinks of him, but he just feels it’s a pity that such a good person is often not understood. If it is possible, how I hope everyone around me can see his gentleness and kindness and a strong heart, instead of the man who lives in the laboratory arrogantly. Thanks for the reminder of the comments, I am sorry to make the semimar semimar, which has been modified. In addition, I won’t reply if I ask for a name or contact information.

7 months ago

One of my previous seniors, who came from a junior class, received a PhD in our group. When I joined the group, I had been in the group for many years as a postdoctoral fellow. He was 35 years old and single. There is a storage room in the laboratory, about five or six square meters. He lives here every day. Without a bed, I lay half on a chair at night. Every day I eat rice with a rice cooker, boil some vegetables in a kettle, and mix it with soy sauce. Usually, if there is a seminar or something in the school, I just go over and improve the food, and take back some pizza and eat two more meals by the way. There is no way to communicate with people normally. He can get over it whatever you say, thinking that all scientific research in the world is fake and ugly, and only mathematics and Buddhism are the truth. In the group meeting, he would also argue with the boss with a disagreement, but the boss is a person who likes to admire weird people, so he never cares about him. For a while, I often worked overtime at night. He saw that I was still in the laboratory in the middle of the night and would often share his pizza and cooking with me. Later, I discovered that the brothers are actually very nice, kind, and extremely smart. When I was struggling with scientific research, I would also use some Buddhist thoughts to enlighten me, at least at that time it gave me a lot of comfort. He said that after so many years of post-doctorate and post-doctoral studies, he gradually realized that life was really meaningless and there was nothing to miss. His dream is to one day be able to study Buddhism with one heart, no need to be a monk, no need to shave or socialize with anyone, just find a quiet place to spend the rest of his life alone. He said that he was willing to share this with me because I never found him strange and would like to calmly listen to him share his thoughts. I don’t know if he has become like this in his Ph.D. or if he is such a person in the first place. It’s just that he was like this when I knew him. To outsiders he looked like a very crazy person, but he was actually gentle and strong inside. I miss him a lot.

7 months ago

I have experienced it personally, and I didn’t add any oil and vinegar. Location, handed in, east 30. At that time, the school was closed, and most of the graduate students had left. The campus was deserted. One night, I squatted in the garden downstairs to shovel soil in the garden below the dormitory in order to ramify the plants I planted. Auntie is also boring, no one has spoken these days, come up to chat with me. After talking about it, I suddenly remembered that a few nights ago, a vaguely man was yelling in the dormitory and woke me up, as if there was still a woman’s voice. I woke up the next day and found an empty beer bottle and a slippers thrown on the ground in the corridor. At that time, I thought it was a young couple who was awkward after drinking too much, so I didn’t care. Because Dong 30 is a doctoral dormitory, some of them are married and have children. For example, my roommate, whose children are all five years old. So I often see some people who bring their girlfriends or wives in, and I get used to them. Thinking of this, I suddenly wanted to gossip, so I asked my aunt: Did someone quarrel in the building the night before? The movement is not small. Just now, my aunt smiled as if she was going to give me a blind date. When she heard me asking this, she instantly reduced her smile and sighed: Alas…a classmate who lives on the third floor usually doesn’t go out much, and she stays in the dormitory every day. I stayed, leaving early and returning late in those few days, and came back to drink alcohol. There seems to be something wrong with the spirit. Going crazy in the corridor that night, he beat a classmate. I asked his parents to come over, but my father was not in Shanghai. Later, my mother came and couldn’t help it. I was crazy for a long time. If your child becomes like this, which parent can bear it, he can’t cry. In the end, there was really no way, I found the security department to send him away. Alas, reading is crazy. Classmates, let me tell you, we know that young people of your generation are under a lot of learning pressure, but don’t forget it… Then I exchanged a few words with my aunt, and I took the flowerpot and shovel back. Thinking back to that summer night now, there is still a hint of coolness.

7 months ago

Respond through your own experience. Doctor of Dongchuan Road Men’s Vocational and Technical College is the first doctoral recruited by the boss. When I first went to the Bo, my boss said that I have a promising future and a rare academic prodigy. With my abilities, I can graduate in three years at most. I am also full of confidence. Boyi made something that I thought was quite awkward at the time (now it’s a fighter in the trash). After writing the paper, the boss said that it’s good, let’s vote for ieee tit. Voted for one year at the first trial and refused directly. The boss said, don’t be discouraged, let’s continue. Another article was tinkered with. The boss has learned well this time and asked me to explain to him before he can vote. This talk lasts for two years. Since then, the entire Ph.D. stage was discouraged and didn’t want to write a dissertation anymore. Anyway, I didn’t allow me to submit it. I graduated in the last five years. Upon graduation, I published a three-district garbage sci and two top-level dissertations in research fields. The most humiliating thing is that our school graduates with the last elimination system. My results are too rubbish, and my thesis actually enters the last elimination review. Fortunately, a teacher at the meeting said a good thing to me, and I barely graduated. I’m not considered as a waste of Ph.D. Of course, I am getting over now. After graduating, relying on the recommendation of the boss, he entered a 211 in Chengdu. Now there is more mixed up than the top and the less than the bottom.

7 months ago

In the fourth year of my doctor, I was still scratching my head every day, so I kept my life anonymous first. Tell me about the chestnuts of senior sister. She hadn’t graduated in seven years, and finally asked her if she wanted to postpone it, she chose to give up. It’s a pity. She has been reading the paper since the first time I saw her, staring at the screen. She should have been in her fifth year at that time. The daily routine is to send the children to school, then to the office and start staring at the computer. I left at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, because the child is out of school at 3 o’clock. day to day. I haven’t seen her type a word into the computer with the keyboard. She was pregnant and gave birth in the year she was admitted to the doctorate. It is this child who may be delaying her. Her daily life in her WeChat Moments is that girls draw and paint, girls learn to dance, girls play piano, girls learn calligraphy, girls learn English and get praised by foreign teachers, girls BLABLABLA. I feel that her focus in life is all her daughters. I am also quite embarrassed. All my thoughts are on the child. How can I have time to write my own thesis? There is nothing wrong with her, but how many seven years are there in her life? She hasn’t worked for seven years, and there is a high probability that she won’t work anymore. At least until the child is cultivated into a talent, it is difficult for her to balance work and children. It is also because she has had experience in Ph.D., or she doesn’t like a normal job. Coupled with factors such as age, she feels that she is unlikely to find a good job. The conditions at home are not good. She uses bicycles to pick up her children. She has always been very simple in dressing. It is definitely not a mine at home that can support her not to work for seven years or even later. So now there is a tendency for the child’s training to be a little overwhelming. It is no longer enough to show her baby in the circle of friends. I will chat privately with you to show you the couplets or paintings drawn by her baby, and then say, this is written by our XX, this It was drawn by XX. If you praise her child’s good drawing skills, she will say that this child is talented and has only studied for half a year. All in all, it’s the appearance of wanting the whole world to know how good his child is. I don’t know how she feels, I feel quite sick. So if a female doctor wants to graduate, try not to have a baby. There may be many cow-breakers who have given birth to babies and have completed their karma, but they should be rare. Because people’s energy is limited, anyone who has given birth to a child knows how laborious it is to have a child, and it almost binds you to death, so there is no energy to do a thesis. So I am 31 this year and still want to work hard to graduate and have children. After all, I chose the path myself, and I really don’t want to give up halfway. But it’s hard, it’s really hard. I also didn’t choose a mentor, it’s hard to explain in a word. Other laboratories may have teams working on projects, and it is easier to produce results. My mentor is not in school all year round, the laboratory is sparsely populated, and I rely on my own research to do thesis. I don’t care about my mentor, and there is no small mentor or senior elder sister to guide. I’m tired of crossing the river alone by touching the stones. The main reason is that you don’t know if you are in the right direction. Our tutor doesn’t even read his students’ papers. He already has a very high position in the industry. I am busy with meetings all day, socializing and setting up people, and I don’t have time to supervise students. In the past, there would be a meeting when the school started pretending to scold the students and urge everyone. Those who have been busy for the past two years will not be able to see them. But at least my tutor will not suppress students from graduation. On the contrary, he always urges us to graduate quickly. This is quite good. As long as you have the ability, you can graduate successfully if you meet the graduation requirements. I have a classmate who has different mentors from the same college. I met the graduation requirements very early, and SCI published four articles. (I’m so envious that I haven’t got a scumbag.) But the tutor pressed him and refused to graduate, saying that it would be impossible for you to graduate without finishing the project at hand. Ugh. Each has its own difficulties. This is the status quo of PhD students in China. There must be good mentors, but there are too few, so few that most people can’t meet them.

7 months ago

The doctoral training system is the black brick kiln system, and the doctoral degree depends only on the boss. Fortunately for China, it is generally five years, after which it is postponed. There are no restrictions in the United States. The boss wants you to study for a few years, and you can study until the ten-year credits expire. The boss has too much power, leading to all kinds of scum and weird work. These scum will be killed in minutes if they are placed elsewhere, but under the cover of the school, the scum are very moisturized. Some people say how does the scum school ignore it? Schools and professors are originally a community of interests. How can they protect you as a long-term job? To say that the doctor is a long-term worker really promotes the doctor. If the part-time worker is unhappy, he will destroy and leave at any time, but the doctor is pressed to death by all parties. First, there is no withdrawal mechanism for Ph.Ds. Even if you have studied for a PhD for ten years, if you fail to get a degree in the end, ten years will be for nothing. But if you work hard for ten years, your qualifications will be different. The lack of an exit mechanism has led to a very high sunk cost for the Ph.D. to withdraw halfway. This is especially unbearable for poor doctors. Why? Since the poor doctors grew up, their family counted on him to be able to get rid of poverty in the future, and even to achieve this goal, the family has run out of everything. For such parents, does a doctor bear the heart to say that I can’t read it anymore? Besides, Dr. Ling may already have a wife and children. It’s easy to break the boat alone. Now sit on the boat with your white-haired parents, wife and children. Can you still scuttle the boat? When a professor abuses a doctor, he abuses a family. Second, the recommendation letter system. This is a problem for the United States. The United States is a weird country, known as a beacon of democracy, but it has all kinds of legacy from the Dark Age, such as various guilds. The most famous doctor’s association is the biggest cancer that has caused such high medical costs. The recommendation letter system results in that once you get a Ph.D. under a tutor, you will have to let him express opinions on some important points in your life in the future. A letter of recommendation is required to find a scientific research position, and a letter of recommendation is required for a green card. The recommendation letter system, which was unique in the Han Dynasty, is still popular in the United States. The recommendation letter system has led to the tutor not only holding the Ph.D.’s current dandan but also the future dandan. Third, the school’s help is abuse. The school and the tutor are mutually beneficial business partners. As long as the tutor can get funding, the school can get the money. What is a PhD? Do you think it is a producer? Naive, PhD is a production tool. So the best way to use production tools is not to turn around for 24 hours. What should I do if something goes wrong? Cover the lid and call for a lawyer. As for the doctor, don’t make a fuss, the machine will always break. Most mentors should be reasonable, and a small number can even be supportive. However, a small number of scumbags should really be judged. When I feel extremely depressed, I will fantasize about entering a two-dimensional time and space where WG is happening. I will definitely smash some people’s heads, burn their labs, and drag them to parade, because they really don’t deserve to be called humans. . If you meet a good mentor, it is a blessing for a lifetime. But if you encounter scum, it is a lifetime shadow. I often compare PhD to marriage. Getting married is easy, getting along is too difficult, and getting divorced is even more difficult. I sincerely hope that everyone will not lightly read a Ph.D. This is a warning from a small operator of Singer Civilization. Be careful! Be careful!

7 months ago

Me, almost. I studied for a PhD in the United States for seven years. In the second year, the tutor was seriously ill and stopped funding, and then he couldn’t give any guidance at all. His team quickly dispersed, and no one got a degree. I was the only one who insisted on staying behind to watch the laboratory. The most amazing thing was that he visited the laboratory three times in the next five years. There was no progress on the subject. He didn’t care if I graduated and then closed the laboratory, but the defense committee was unwilling. After seven years, seventeen or eight drafts of the graduation thesis were revised, and five or six manuscripts of the journal papers in hand were pressed, and the last one was not published. The day of the defense was really mixed. It was really a practice.” It completely changed my personality, and I really feel fearless in life after graduation. He went back to China directly with his bags to join the industry, and his development was okay. Looking back, I was so stubborn at that time. When the tutor was seriously ill, he should get off the boat as quickly as the other students. After seven years, no growth was as good as seven years of happiness.

7 months ago

Me, waste firewood, this firewood. A doctor in the 985 marginal field of a certain domestic, known as “learning XX, poor three generations” discipline. When I was a graduate student, I discovered that I was a potential scientific researcher among my classmates with ambition, scientific research spirit, speculative spirit and critical spirit. With the encouragement of classmates, senior brothers, sisters, and teachers, I applied for a PhD with excitement, struggle, youth without regrets, and belief in life. My life credo (before my Ph.D.) was that as long as I want to achieve something, I will try to do it if I can do it, and if I cannot do it, I will not compromise and work hard to do it. As a result, I was heavily educated during my Ph.D. The first half of my life had undergone a major transformation. Objectively, he has encountered many setbacks in life, emotions, and scientific research. Subjectively, he had to grow up quickly from a late-maturing naive ghost to a responsible, emotionally independent, frustrated, and emotionally stable “adult.” I simply describe these things as frustrating bones and peeling skin. During the two and a half years to the third and a half years of Ph.D. study, I suffered from moderate depression. No one knows about this, except for my parents and (at the time) boyfriend who feel that I am emotionally unstable, and outsiders can’t even notice it. You never know if a person who hahaha all day is truly happy. I have been to a psychiatrist. As a result, one hour of tutoring, every time I talk about forty to fifty minutes. Analyze yourself from the outside to the inside clearly. The last time, the doctor said, in fact, you are very clear about your own current situation. You know both the crux and the solution. You just need to talk. I think I understand it, but I can’t do it at all. During this year, I lay on the bed every day, watching the sunrise and sunset outside the window, the wind was blowing, unwilling to eat, unwilling to move, unwilling to talk to anyone, unwilling to actively look for the boss, reading and researching for a while and then distracted. The boss’s arrangement was silly to deal with. I can’t even imagine and recall my image in the eyes of teachers. I often call my boyfriend late at night (jet lag). This period of time I am also experiencing the torture of not seeing each other for the longest time, one and a half years. And he and the people around him also had some small problems. I often make phone calls in the corridor bare-legged in winter, and I quarrel as I talk, and I ran outside for fear that the corridor might affect others’ rest. The cold wind outside ten degrees below zero, coupled with the angry me, the emotionally out of control me, and the irritating me screaming wildly. I almost don’t know myself anymore. Another place to torment me is the dormitory. I have no privacy, no independent space. If you want to make a phone call and quarrel, you have to go outside the building, and you have to pretend to be nonchalant when you accidentally meet your classmates. I am about to split. I can’t show my negative emotions to anyone, or even my mother sometimes says, crazy female doctor. In the eyes of most people, women who get a Ph.D. tend to be crazy, abnormal, paranoid, truer, and unlovable. I was in pain at that time. Every time I go crazy, I don’t believe that the person just now is me. I don’t want to admit that this is the real me. Then my body collapsed during this period. Since I was young and big, I have suffered from migraine headaches, insomnia, stomach pain, intestinal cramps, acne, habitual vomiting, and ovarian cysts. Maybe God still wants to save the child, and he has given me a line of firm belief. Even if I am mad, I believe that my life is still saved. I firmly believe that there is a fine line between lunatics and normal people, and I have the ability to control myself well. So I started slowly trying to find the “real me”. The first step is to calm yourself down and become more Buddhist. Stop thinking about realizing and achieving the highest academic ideals. You don’t require your boyfriend to have the same moral values ​​as me, and you no longer require a smooth life, unity and friendship. I started copying Buddhist scriptures and became a real “Buddha”. Put all the efforts you want to make for the time being, as long as you can calm yourself down. Everything else is not important and needs to be let go. I find that writing a diary and communicating with myself is also a good way to heal yourself. I began to reflect on myself and liberate myself, but I had to control what I couldn’t think too much, or I would fall into it again. The second step was actually my mother and boyfriend rescued me. Thank them very much, now two of the three most important people in my life hahaha. It was also this incident that made me see my boyfriend clearly, strengthened my conviction, relentlessly, gave up all my domestic possessions, came to the United States and started again, and then married him. My boyfriend suggested that I temporarily leave school, leave home, leave the academic environment, and go to the United States to take care of me for half a year. He will take care of me. In a new environment, he said that the trees move the dead and the others live. Maybe everything will be solved. My whole family, led by my mother, immediately gave full support. They feel that as long as I can be happy, they will cheer for me no matter which path I choose. Just came here with the attitude of giving it a try, thinking that it won’t work, and heading back home. I don’t get along well with my boyfriend, or I can’t adapt to the living environment in the United States, or I can’t stay here anymore, and I will return to China again. As a result, all the problems were finally solved. Although it took another year and a half during this period. I applied for a master’s program in the United States, and I finished my Ph.D. and got married. In this year and a half, I finally regained the ability that happiness is real happiness, and sadness is real sadness. It may be a little awkward to speak, but this feeling is only understood by those who have experienced it. Regardless of the joys, sorrows, sorrows and joys, they are very refreshing. Not depressing. Now I have just graduated with a master’s degree, I am still looking for a job, and I have just had a baby. But what I want to say is that I am really useless. I no longer have high hopes and expectations for my career, academics and future life. I just hope that I am happy, my family is happy, and my baby is healthy, even if I go to be a cashier in a supermarket, I am very happy. The life before my Ph.D. taught me that if you want to do something, just let it go, try your best and try your best, there will always be a day when you can achieve it. The life after Ph.D. has taught me that in life, there will be three points of joy and seven points of dissatisfaction. Not everything can be done as long as you work hard, and it is not because you are not good enough. Correct attitude, face reality, and liberate yourself. It’s also very happy to be waste wood. Finally, I want to ask, does anyone know if they can eat watermelon after they are pregnant? I really want to eat watermelon

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