My boyfriend stays up to four or five o’clock at night, sleeps a day during the day, and there is no vitality in life. The feeling of being able to see his head at a glance is suffocating. I am a very vulnerable person. I feel that I need to be positive around me too much. I always feel that I am not going well and I can’t do anything well. He has no sense of involvement. When I need him to show up or help, I’m either sleeping or drinking. Many times I feel very disappointed. I have no confidence in anything, no vitality, no motivation, and I have nothing. I have more than one or two hysterical roars in my heart. I am afraid that I will be too hard in my future life. I feel that if I marry the person in front of me, I am really too Fear.

Did you receive the gift and things? If you accept it, return it and openly and openly discuss the remorse of the marriage and show an attitude of remorse for the marriage. If you regret the marriage, you should apologize. It doesn’t make much sense to tell us how the man is not motivated. Hearing is false and seeing is believing. On the Internet, we don’t know what the situation of you two is, what kind of people are deliberately saying this, there is a feeling that makes oneself stand on a positive moral high ground, and excuses oneself for regretting marriage, but regretting marriage is regretting marriage. Find more reasons Can’t cover up the essence, since you hate others, why did you go when you fell in love? Why did you get to the step of getting engaged? Regretful marriage is not too rare. At most it means that you have no credibility, easy to shake, immature, unstable will, Chao Qin Muchu, etc. It does not mean that you have no moral bottom line, and it does not mean that you are a big bad guy. In this way, if the truth is not decent enough, you only need to say, “I don’t like him anymore.” It can be a matter of feelings. If you don’t like him, it’s a big reason, isn’t it? If you are dissatisfied with your fiancé and want to regret your marriage, once the idea comes out, unless your fiancé suddenly “counter-attacks”, such as getting rich quickly. For example, you suddenly found out that he has N shining points hidden in his body. For example, telling you that he is actually a rich second generation to find the true love. Ordinary people who deliberately pretend not to be motivated. For example, quickly lose weight and change from a mediocre appearance to a handsome guy. Then all aspects of work income and emotional intelligence have suddenly risen several steps. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to rebuild your feelings for him. In a frustrated and irritable situation, there are only two options to make you feel better. 1 Re-like the other person. 2 Regret the marriage. According to your description, 1 Obviously you can’t get it. “Why did I marry him?” I tortured myself. Sooner or later, even if I am not depressed, it is likely that everything will not go well after marriage because your thoughts are still inaccessible. For individuals, “ideal understanding” is The most important thing is directly related to physical and mental health. Compared to regret marriage after marriage, it is obviously better to regret marriage before marriage and make a decision. At least it is not necessary to recite the identity of the second marriage.

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
6 months ago

Then retreat, must retreat. I’m like you. After the engagement, my ex and his family seemed to have gotten me right. The troubles came in a rhythmic month, and I was so angry that there were problems with my period. After solving the problem twice, we broke the defense, retired, and the bride price was refunded. The money and room given by my family were taken back. Now I am living alone and I am more happy. Think about it again, if I really endure the dissatisfaction with his family, dissatisfaction with him, and really get married and get along day and night, what will it be like now? I think it’s better to be nice to myself, what do you think?

heloword
6 months ago

Hello, everyone, I am the subject’s fiance. Don’t say she thinks about retiring every day, my fucking wants to retire too. She is full of negative energy and knows nothing. She also complains about others, saying: I’m not going well, and I can’t do anything well. But she never reflects on whether her “unsatisfactory” or “bad” is a problem of luck or a problem of her own ability. On the contrary, she will blame all misfortune on me. She feels that my staying up late and getting up late are the root causes of all her misfortunes, and she has tossed me for this. She also hopes that I can feel a little involved in her daily complaints. The specific manifestation is that I have to be on standby for her all the time. If her endocrine disorder occurs, I must immediately abandon everything on hand and appear in front of her. Otherwise, I There is no life and it is suffocating. Every time, when I was having dinner with my brothers and drinking, she urged me to come over and asked me what I was doing? I answer honestly: I am drinking. She just cried. I panicked and asked: What’s wrong? She only sighed and said: I am very disappointed. Her neurotic behavior intensified after our engagement. I feel that she is really less and less confident, lifeless, and unmotivated. I feel distressed and want to take her to relax, but who knows that she turned her head and gave me a hysterical roar. To be honest with you, I am a boy who is easily affected. I feel that I need a positive person by my side too much, but my fiancee has no vitality. I am afraid that I will be too hard in my future life. I feel that if I marry the person in front of me, I am really too scared. The feeling that I can see my head at a glance is suffocating. But now, the two are already engaged, and regretting the marriage again is not good for her reputation. Besides, she is in this situation and needs someone to accompany her. If I leave her at this time, am I still a fucking person? Well, now that she herself stated that she wants to divorce, then I don’t feel wronged to myself. You don’t want to, I thought about what I said, but the problem is-you fucking give me the gift first!

helpyme
6 months ago

Sorry, to say something to depress people, I don’t think positive people will look at you. Put this sentence here first, and I will explain why later. Let me talk about whether this marriage should be retired: Retire! Must retire! And based on the tonality of your betrothal partner, I can assure you with a high probability: Whether you retired, broke up, or caused the reason for retiring to be known to both parents, this boy can only say: ok , And then it’s time to eat, drink, play, and go to sleep, leaving you behind, messy and messy in the wind, with a dazed face. So if you want to go all the way and take a shot and break up and make a decisive decision to be well, the three gold gifts will be returned, the breakup will be over, and there will be no psychological burden at all. But in fact, I am quite worried about your divorce, just to force him to change. Do you think that after retiring, all your troubles stop here? Regardless, according to your state, you have retired but you should not break up. You must be thinking: You see that I have already retired. I will leave if you don’t make progress. You can change it quickly, but he won’t change. This kind of boy: Whether you retired, angry or not, broke up or not, will not affect the continuation of this man’s state. He has already deepened his inertia into his life. Do you think he needs something so intangible with feelings? For him, as long as he doesn’t affect his eating, don’t affect his sleep, don’t affect his playing games, all the ups and downs in the outside world have nothing to do with him. Therefore, if you really want to retreat, please retreat thoroughly and decisively. Don’t cherish your feelings after a while and then check again, it’s useless! Next, why do I say: I don’t think positive people will follow you. Because you just want to retreat, but you don’t have a good idea of ​​how to go next. As the saying goes: what kind of person you are, what kind of people will you attract. In fact, I don’t believe that this guy was like this at the beginning, because there is a paradox: if he was so bad at the beginning, why are you with him? If he was not like this before, why did he change after being with you? You want to choose better people for a better future. There is nothing wrong with this in itself. But if you are just thinking that I want to be with a good person, ask for it, and rely on it, then you yourself will become a vampire in your emotions, and you cannot be someone else’s spiritual provider. Again, good love is mutual. Find like-minded people, but you must also become a person who can give others positive energy. Therefore, we must hurry to retreat, but we must also hurry up and improve ourselves before we have the opportunity to meet better people. I am Sister Little Demon original, the code word is not easy, don’t forget to support it after reading it if you find it useful.

sina156
6 months ago

After reading what the subject said, the first reaction was, why did you want to get engaged in the first place? If the other party is so bad, you shouldn’t talk about it in the first place, let alone get engaged. Now that you are engaged, and then you find all kinds of bad things and you don’t want to, then quickly retire and settle the bride price or something. After all, a lifetime is very long, so be nice to yourself. I would rather not get married than suffer in the cage of marriage for a lifetime. In addition, before deciding to get engaged in the future, do a lot of research to find a really suitable one.

yahoo898
6 months ago

Help you sort out your ideas, clearly and clearly, no regrets! First, distinguish between external rules and your own needs. What are outside rules? Social influences, for example, friends feel that you are hard to stay together and should be cherished. Moral rules, for example, you think that two people have already mobilized to tell everyone that you are engaged. Now that you are too embarrassed to say that you broke up, why don’t you try to see it yourself? Or it’s just because of your pressure. For example, when your parents say you’re old, you’ll be too late if you don’t get married. For example, if you ask a question on the Internet, maybe some kind netizens will tell you based on their own experience that it’s okay. It will be fine if you operate slowly. And these words can all be blocked. It is not that what they say is wrong, but that most of these words are based on one-sided cognition formed from your own experience. Most of them are useless or even self-defeating to you. Your own. What are your needs? Ask yourself, how do I feel? If you change the scene or conditions, will I still choose this person? What is changing the scene and conditions? For example, you think you are 30 years old this year and you should be married, so under the kind arrangement of everyone, you met this quasi-married partner who always makes you feel wrong. Why do you hesitate? Maybe you feel that you are almost 30 and there are no good boys around, so you are worried about whether there is a greater risk of missing out. Do these conditions really exist and play a decisive role? Maybe you can change it in another scene? For example, you can think of a way if those female groups who are calm and elegant and are not in a hurry to get married, for example, you can find a way to get in touch with high-quality male circles, can these conditions be changed? So, it’s not the external conditions that force you to become what kind of person, but what kind of person you decide to become, and then think of ways to change the external conditions. Second, make true deductions in the future. Continue this relationship, what will you become in the next three or ten years, and what will you become after leaving this relationship in the next three or ten years. You can refer to your own wishes, the personality of the other party, and the environment in which you live. What is unchangeable and what can be changed. It must be carefully considered. For example, whether a person wants to leave the company to start a business or continue to work hard in the unit waiting for promotion. You have to postpone it. In the next three years, how much room for the company’s appreciation is, how much room for one’s own appreciation, and whether there is any change during the period, for example, the company suddenly After going public or someone invested, the shares that you can divide can get wealth burst. Then there are the risks of starting a business on your own, what is the probability of success, what is the probability of failure, and where are the opportunities? For example, is it possible to do it for two or three years before getting listed before the original boss, or losing to the point of crying? Ask the original boss to take it in. The same is true for feelings. Your feelings are unconsciously deduced later, but you need to reason about them more specifically and comprehensively. If your conclusion is to leave, then don’t hesitate, if you stay, then try to improve the situation! In fact, no one can guarantee what will happen in the future, but you only need to know the path you choose and don’t regret it yourself! The third step is to upgrade yourself and start a new life. The last thing is to sort out the self. Obviously, if you encounter such bad emotions, in addition to the problems of others, the bigger problem lies in yourself. For example, if you meet a scumbag and change to another scumbag, then you have to reflect on yourself. For example, the subject, such a boy who can’t see the future, why did you choose to be with him in the first place? Was it that he was very positive at the beginning, but he became negative after being together? If so, there are two possibilities. One is that he is disguised at the beginning, and what you need to improve is the ability to discern. Another situation is that he was very positive at first, but he did not feel support and respect in the process of getting along with you, or he reached his goal prematurely, such as living together prematurely, but unable to establish long-term attraction for the other party. , So the other party has no pursuit. If it’s the latter, then you have to improve your emotional ability and your attractiveness, otherwise you will still get to this point if you change someone. Find out where the problem is, and then change it consciously. I don’t know when you will be happy, but at least you won’t be as stupid as before!

leexin
6 months ago

Therefore, life must have a sense of ritual. This ceremony can follow ancient rituals, follow customs, learn from foreign countries, or even create it yourself. In any case, there must be a ceremony. A particularly solemn and grand ceremony. Why? Let people know that some processes in life are very, very important, and they should not be childish. You can’t feel that today, but you can’t make complaints on the Internet tomorrow. A wedding, as I understand it, should be the most important etiquette in life. Engagement is the prelude to the wedding, and it is also very important. I still remember the engagement scene. Our family drove for nearly a thousand miles, brought four kinds of big gifts, and six kinds of small ones, and visited them. My father-in-law expensive cigarettes and wine, entertained by famous brand restaurants. At the engagement scene, the master escorted the venue three times, and my mother and I went out to discuss three times. It was embarrassing to admit the wrong car to the security guard when taking the extra preparations. After a whole day of tossing, intensive negotiation, mediation, and consideration, no one would think that this was a trivial matter. No one will regret it afterwards for inexplicable reasons.

greatword
6 months ago

I don’t know how old you are? According to Chinese law, men are no earlier than 22 years old, and women no earlier than 20 years old. At this stage, the age at which young people in my country generally get married is around 27 years old. So let’s assume that your boyfriend is also 27 years old. If it is really like you said, playing cards every day, staying up every day, sleeping all day every day, break up as soon as possible! This man… is the end of his life. Don’t be delusional, three years of silence, a blockbuster. People’s self-motivatedness is a habit, yes, self-motivatedness is a habit. Some people are accustomed to being motivated, even if you force them, not being so motivated will make him decadent, which will kill him! Your fiance, hey, it’s really hard to make people see hope. The betrothal engagement money is refunded. When I first looked at the topic, I was engaged, not married! What are you worried about?

loveyou
6 months ago

Hurry up and divorce. Speak out what you really think. Once this kind of thought emerges, it will appear in your mind again and again, and you will regret it more and more. I want to say a heart-wrenching fact: If you are not satisfied with each other before you get married, there is a high probability that you will only get worse after you get married. I have been in the emotional industry for half a year. I have contacted many people, whether divorced or wanting to get divorced. I found that many people have to enter into marriage. I was originally not satisfied with this person, or didn’t like it. Forced by reality, I had to get married. So confused to enter the marriage. A few years ago, I told myself forbearance, but later, more and more problems. I thought that marriage is beautiful, but I didn’t expect that marriage is not a savior at all. It will only be worse if two people who are not in that good relationship enter marriage. You are dissatisfied now, you will only be more dissatisfied after marriage, the situation will not be better than this, it will only be worse than this. Because you can’t tolerate each other at all. Therefore, choose what you love before marriage, and love what you choose after marriage.

strongman
6 months ago

Recently, I told a group of my nephews and nephews of the right age that employment is about choosing a place, marriage is about choosing a family, and life is just four words: problem solving. You can have different opinions, choices and even practice, but maybe many of us ordinary people will not escape these simple keywords in the end. Let’s talk about employment first. Through a lot of complicated and babbled truths, you may finally gain insight into the bottom layer, that is, what kind of “work life” you live in. In other words, your working environment, such as the microclimate and small feng shui of the place where you work or where your business is located, may be far more important than so-called hard indicators such as your income and professional counterparts. Unfortunately, many of us have When the dust settled, I felt that a job that might be stable was not what I wanted because I was tired, unhappy, or wanted to leave. In the end, all of this may focus on a singularity, that is, where you go to the wrong place. Therefore, instead of tossing or going back, it is better to think about where to start your first step (which can be specific to a certain city) as well as the layout of the place. Other floating clouds. If you choose the right place, you will have the basic disk, and the rest is just a matter of adjustment. If the basic disk is not done well, everything will lose its foundation. It is not terrible to enter the wrong line. The terrible thing is to choose the wrong place, including the unit and the place where the unit is located. Once you choose the wrong place, it will not only mean that you will have to pay an opportunity cost, but you may also have to reopen the market. Marriage is also similar. The basic word may not necessarily be love-this word is beautiful, but I think it’s better not to be naive or idealistic from the perspective of telling the truth. This word is a bit big and improper, or even misleading. A young man who knows the world. The reason for emphasizing that the basic board of marriage is the family, the expectations of the individual family, the situation of the other’s family, and your own expectations of the future small family and your imagination, is because compared to other things, this may be what most people want to get married. of. In ancient China, it probably didn’t talk about love, but emphasized the right to each other, that’s what it meant. The advanced point of this concept, pay attention to the fact that the family is advanced-it is that he facilitates a marriage through the family, or at least the power of two families, and you will doubt its constructive, stable, and reliable. Sex? Don’t read too many novels or TV shows, and feel that the so-called love has become a family arrangement. That is a way of saying that it is your business to be washed away and pursue rebellion. We must see the enthusiasm of the family and the significance of maintaining stable family relationships in ancient China for thousands of years. That is to say, the west wind is gradually moving east in modern times. Some talents will jump up to overthrow the traditions such as the family. But does this represent the truth? At best, there is only a 50% probability, so don’t get excited. Marrying the wrong man is not terrible. The terrible thing is marrying the wrong family. You must believe that the moldability of a person is affected by the family. What a man or woman is like, look at his family and study his parents, you can basically see It’s all ten. Some families are good, but boys and girls may be rebellious to the point that they are incompatible with their families. In this case, fancying each other’s family will keep the basics. On the contrary, some boys and girls may look very good in themselves, but if there is something in the family, you have to think that the family’s young life may give him or her genetic imprint. Please note that I am not preaching about birth theory, there are exceptions to everything. What we do is just a choice-choosing excellent factors means that you also need to choose some non-excellent things, because we can’t want everything and get everything. Back to this example of the questioner. Based on the fact that honest officials are difficult to decide on housework, experts are unable to predict the emotional situation, and the respondent is a person who likes to persuade, he still feels that his own affairs are good for his own sake. As long as one has insight into the bottom of a matter and wants to understand what he wants, he will basically draw his own conclusions. Marriage is not easy. It’s similar to drilling a mountain and bridge to build a high-speed rail for transportation. One is to pass the design, the other is to be diligent in the specific construction, and the other is to have the courage, knowledge and skills to drive. The key is not to ask for too much, so as to carry it. too much. High-speed rail has the advantages of high-speed rail, and green leather cars have the advantages of green leather cars. Many times, in many things, ordinary people don’t have many choices in their lives.

stockin
6 months ago

First of all, no matter how happy the relationship is, the thought of breaking up will occur in the middle. This is normal, because the road of the relationship can not be smooth sailing, it is all bumpy. Always think about things like retiring. Once you have this idea in your mind, you should calmly think about it and see where the problem is. Don’t make a decision on such a major event as retiring and propose it. , You must seriously consider, after all, two people are not a day or two. After a long time, they still have a certain relationship. Don’t regret it because of the impulse to propose to divorce. But if you have this idea every day, you should think about it, and ask yourself if you want to continue. If you don’t want to go on, then let each other go! If you want to keep going, then find out what caused you to want to divorce? Is it because the other party treats you hot and cold, or feels that your personal space has been violated, or something else, in a word, find the crux of the problem and prescribe the right medicine. Explain your own thoughts and dissatisfaction to him clearly, talk between the two people to find a way to solve the problem together. If you make some improvements in this area, the relationship between the two people will be better, if they improve a little It doesn’t mean that if you don’t understand your feelings, it proves that there can be problems with his feelings for you. After all, retiring is not a matter for one person. You have to look at the attitude of the other person, but also take care of the other person’s feelings, see if the other person can accept it for a while, and let the other person understand why you want to divorce, what is the reason for the divorce, or after a good experience. After the communication, I found that I had misunderstood the other party and changed my mind. Don’t make a decision lightly, but after a good talk, see if I can return to the previous sweet state. Although persuading and not persuading divorce, if you have the idea of ​​retiring in your heart, it means that there is indeed a problem in the relationship between the two people, or the two are not suitable at all. After you have such an idea, make up your mind instead of thinking about it today. If you divide it, forget it tomorrow, or see that the other person treats you well, and you do something that touches you, you change your mind. Repeatedly, you can’t make up your mind, it will hurt the feelings of the two people, and it will be torture for each other. .

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