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Whether born or not, when a person is old, it is the most pitiful if he does not love and be loved. A friend’s father, who is over 80, has Alzheimer’s disease, and has a grumpy temper. After being diagnosed with the disease, my friend and his brother discussed with his mother and decided to send him to a nursing home to be taken care of by a special person. Because I’m in the United States, everything is pretty good. It’s just that it’s not going well this year. During the epidemic, he was infected with the new crown and was quarantined in the hospital to prevent all family members from visiting. Fortunately, the old man didn’t hang up, so he was really lucky. But the only bad thing is that when he got this disease, no one came to him remembered. If his family members had physical contact with him, he would dodge the disease and be afraid. Every time the family visits, I can only talk a few words. Although the old man is still alive, he is still worried about by his family, but now he doesn’t know them, and the whole family feels hard to say. My mother-in-law had cancer when my baby was just one year old, and the number of patients in the same room was less than 60. Without children, just a wife still has to go to work. She lay alone on the bed every day. Although she had a nurse to wait on her, she was an outsider. My mother-in-law said that her patient often turned around and wiped her tears secretly after seeing us running around. When I was okay, I nagged her: “I didn’t think I used to think that now I am sick and there is no one around me, and my wife has to go to work… It’s really enviable to see your house is so lively. Even if I’m sick, my heart is warm.” In fact, the old man Now, whether there are children is not the point. Especially nowadays, raising children is not for the sake of old age. It’s better not to have a white-eyed wolf. So when a person is old, it is okay to have no children, but no one loves, cannot love, is sick, cannot move, no one takes care of them, and no one knows… this is very pitiful. Therefore, there is a view that people actually have to work hard when they are young, and they have to save enough capital. When they are old without children, they either go to nursing homes or find nursing workers. If there is no love and no money, the only thing left is Liangliang… If you have no children, you can’t stand loneliness when you are old, and you can emulate the popular cohabitation life of the elderly. (When I read the comments, I think there are also some in China. In fact, they are the last resort for the elderly to get together and help each other in the elderly.) In Japan, there are a realistic version of 7 single grannies who have lived together for nearly ten years. They are not sisters, but passers-by met and came together. Seven people moved into different rooms in the same apartment together and started a “neighborhood” cohabitation life. In the past ten years, they have been independent of each other and cared for each other. Everyone has a key to each room, and will help each other to take care of the flowers and pets when there is no one in the house. However, these grandma are not lonely old people, but proper “single nobles”. They were all excellent women in the workplace, and each of them had their own business: advertising writers, female consultants, heads of propaganda departments of large companies, news reporters and radio anchors. Several elderly people get together and talk about endless topics every day. Each of them has to face birth, old age, sickness and death, but each has a different attitude. Everyone lives together, happy and joyful. Neither aging nor disease can take away their vitality. Therefore, the child can not be born, and the family can not. But there must be vitality, and you cannot leave “love” in your life. Only love can nourish the soul and allow life to continue. It may be more meaningful to have the ability to love and be loved. Well, but, I finally read your Barabara’s comments. It seems that this last point is difficult for even young people…..I’m @文默默, I’m already a mom, I have a monkey at home, I love playing with children’s books. , I like to watch American TV series, pay attention to children’s education, and like to study learning methods. For the content of parenting and raising dry goods, please refer to: Parenting advice for novice parents: Eating, drinking, wearing, pulling, sleeping, etc. | Do you need to drink water? Baby language enlightenment (created): baby pronunciation, learning to speak and Multilingual enlightenment, dry goods, practical operation, baby toys, good things: educational toys for young and old children to choose picture books and reading: 16 principles for picture book selection | Reference books for playing middle school | How to read picture books to extend the discussion of popular science books Recommended: popular science books suitable for 5+


By zhiwo

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9 months ago

Being old and poor may be caused by illness, loneliness and emptiness, or self-pity, but it does not depend on whether or not to have children. Having children does not mean that you can avoid pity, just as some children are worse than none. The key to this question is what is pathetic? If you have to link up with children, then the pathos here are very narrow, that is, “the elderly have a sense of support”, that is, when they are old and poor in health, it may make sense to be accompanied by a child when they are sick. But the reality is that even if you have a child, he may not be by your side when you are sick, and it may not come to comfort you when you are alone. In other words, don’t let others control your pity. Your pity is Your state of mind, you have the final say! Raising children and preventing old age is a kind of utilitarian view of childbirth. We give birth to children because he is the crystallization of love and hopes that he will live a happy life, not for our own future “no Poor” for the sake of it. When we get older and our physical condition gets worse, especially if our beloved partner leaves early, then this kind of pity cannot be solved. Only through ourselves can we solve this kind of pity, because “It is better to ask for others than for yourself.” It is better for him to save himself. The pity of the heart needs to be saved more than the pity of the body. We need to have our own dreams, our own pursuits, and our own goals. The fullness of our spirit will make us happy and not be pitiful!

9 months ago

Just my personal opinion. Some people say that as long as you save enough money, you can live well in a nursing home or hire a nanny when you are old, even if you don’t have children. I can’t agree with him. The ready-made example is Li Chunping. Li Chunping (Chinese tycoon philanthropist). Li Chunping is known as China’s first charity man in a century. Everyone knows how much his legendary life is, but how is such a wealthy man now? He is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease (Alzheimer’s disease), and his wealth has almost been divided up by people around him by various means. He points his face, and uses various reasons to lure him into signing. If he is shameless, he will directly hold his Fingers pressed handprints, and even more shamelessly, forged his signature and seal. Even the babysitter he hired colluded with others. He once revealed that he would be given sleeping pills every night when he was awake. Of course, I guess that some people will say that money is something outside of the body, and there are no children anyway, and those inheritances will be scattered when they are scattered. I don’t oppose this view, but I’m going to make a bargain. Even if I want to give away the inheritance for nothing, it must be something I am willing to give away, and not be deceived. The former can at least give me a few words of thanks. The latter can only be scolded by someone behind the scenes. Although Li Chunping collapsed in his later years and even lived in a nursing home for a time, after all, the lean camel was bigger than a horse and still had some property. His relatives once took the staff around him to court for the inheritance (it’s hard to say the purpose of this group of relatives). ), the rich have this advantage, no matter what they do, they will always be well taken care of, and there will always be people paying attention. If you replace me with ordinary people, it will be hard to tell.

9 months ago

I have only read one answer on this question and I agree with it. The general meaning is: You are only an individual when you can maintain your own rights and dignity as a human being. And the child is a person who can help you maintain your dignity when you are old and disabled. If you are selfish and only think about self-interest, then it is the above paragraph. Be unselfish. You can treat your child as your new life. When you are old, listen to him talk about his life and experience, and sigh about social progress, which is also an enjoyment. What do you think?

9 months ago

I am not old, and I have children. Life with children becomes more meaningful. I don’t need to deliberately pursue spiritual food. Everyday life is full, full of challenges and expectations, with joy and anger, and life is full of smoke. Because I have children, I have a lot of choices, many things that need to be balanced, I need to work hard to earn money, I need to be a role model for my children, I need more social networking to raise children, and so on. These days of raising a baby are a process of cultivating immortality. At the same time as the child grows, I am also growing, growing in multiple directions. I can see what I was like in the child, and finally understand the current parents’ thinking and understand the child’s Status, this is a process of constantly revising oneself. This is the continuation of life and the meaning of life. I do not have the ability and wisdom to succeed in a certain field. I am just an ordinary person. When I am old, the work, career, material and enjoyment that I have been pursuing will go with the wind, but the children and grandchildren I can care about will let me. Life can be full and valuable. I guess life without children will be more free and empty. Like duckweed, material and spiritual enjoyment cannot fill life, but personal value and social value can fill life, such as Zhou Enlai. So if you don’t have children, then go find a life that is more valuable than children, so that you will not be pitiful when you are old!

9 months ago

My grandparents gave birth to 10 children. You read that right, 10! According to the traditional concept, many children are more blessed. They should have children and grandchildren around their knees, enjoy themselves and enjoy their old age, right? However, it did not. My grandmother’s house is in a ravine in the northeast of Sichuan, more than 20 miles from the town. More than a dozen people in the family depend on grandpa for support. He went to work in a black coal kiln, sent a rope around his waist and went into the mine in the dark, knelt on the ground to dig for coal. He worked desperately to cultivate the land and do farm work, go up the mountains to chop wood and sell it for money, but the children in the family still often go hungry and cold. Can’t even eat enough to eat, let alone have any emotional care. When the children were 4 or 5 years old, they began to help the family with farm work, helping with their younger siblings. The youngest children in the family grew up with their elder brothers and sisters. The family is struggling to eat every day, and there is no tenderness between relatives. My grandfather did not agree with him. Beating children is really the same as beating beasts. I used to copy a bowl and hit my mother’s forehead because my mother sprinkled a little rice while cooking. Now it is a big scar. Brothers and sisters often fight with each other because of a piece of potato or a corn cob in the pot. My mother went to school in the village primary school when she was ten years old. At that time, my fifth uncle was just 5 years old, and my mother went to school with her fifth uncle on her back. My mother was in the 4th grade, and my grandfather would not let her go to school. He said that the family couldn’t pay the tuition. My mother was 14 years old and she was a hard worker. My uncle and aunt would also need to be supervised. “Your grandfather was reluctant to pay me the tuition fee of two cents and five cents, and only let your uncle go to school. I was the best student in the family at that time.” I heard my mother say this several times, and the tone was all Resentment and regret. My grandfather passed away before reaching 60 due to years of exhaustion, and I was never able to see him. My grandmother lived to be 63 years old. At the time of death, only the sixth uncle was at home to take care of the funeral. My fourth uncle and third uncle came back to take a look and hurried away. My mother and the third aunt worked in Guangdong, and the third aunt was due for a week at that time. My mother wanted to go back, but the third aunt immediately gave birth and was left unattended, and they could not meet for the last time. It’s not clear why the other uncles and aunts didn’t go back. When I was young, I only remember that my grandmother kept coughing. She lived alone in a small side room. The room was dark and damp, and there was a smell of Chinese medicine in the air. Their tombs are still only a small slope, not even a monument. My grandmother was sick all the year round, and several uncles shied away from each other. It was my third aunt and mother who sent money home for my uncles to treat grandma. Later my mother learned that all the money sent was used by my fifth uncle to play cards and gamble. Did not take my grandma to the doctor at all. At that time, communication only relied on writing letters, my grandmother was illiterate, and my mother didn’t even know the living conditions of her grandmother. A few years ago, my mother and several aunts said that they would pool money to build a grave for grandpa and grandma, but my uncles disagreed. My mother said she didn’t want to pay for it, but the uncles still disagreed. Say, you are all married, you come to repair the grave to make the villagers laugh… As far as the situation around me is concerned, the average old man who has money on his own and knows how to educate his children will generally not have a bad life in his later years. Those who have no money or the ability to educate children are not much different from those who do not have children, and add even more sorrow. There is a saying: Father is kind and filial, brother and friend are respectful. Parents and children, brothers and sisters, each other is not related to blood, but emotional bondage. If a child grows up in an environment full of love and understanding, even if the material conditions are worse, his spiritual world and emotions are satisfied. He has received emotional investment and must know how to give back emotionally.

9 months ago

Yes, it will not. This is a question for which there is no right answer, because there is no logical connection. Will you be pitiful when you are old? In most cases, it depends on your physical fitness, economic strength, ability to behave in the world and other personal conditions when you are old. It also depends on your attitude and way of thinking about life in old age, and even how you feel when you are old. Luck is related. Children cannot be the only guarantee for old-age care, nor can they be the only guarantee for a person when he grows old. As for how your child will treat you in the future, whether you are old or not, frankly speaking, luck is more important. I think of a scene from a gathering of relatives and friends at the dinner table a few years ago: a male relative triumphantly taught the experience of “ruling a child” to other relatives at the table. At that time, he was discussing the future of the child’s future with others, and others said that he was considering whether to let his child go abroad. After further studies, he shook his head and shook his head and waved his hands repeatedly, “No, no, you won’t come back after you go out. You can eat it well? How can he run away if he only raises one, and who will give you care for you in the future?” I turned to look at his son, a fourteen-year-old who was quiet and gentle and enjoying the high-quality educational resources given by his parents, turned and rolled his eyes coldly at his father. Therefore, please don’t tie up people with old age and whether they have children. This is the greatest respect for your own children and family, including your own life.

9 months ago

As of this year, my father has been paralyzed for eleven years. Now he lives in a nursing home. For him, the annual expenditure is 120,000. His own pension and commercial insurance can cover one-third. I will solve the rest. His life has been extremely orderly and simple: in the morning, eating, taking medicine, being hugged to a chair and sitting down. At noon, eat and sleep. In the afternoon, he was hugged and sat on a chair again. At night, take medicine, eat, take it back, and sleep. Every day, like the boot procedure before the computer is used. Brushing your teeth, draining and bathing, are done at a fixed time and relying on others. Day after day, as long as he is alive, day after day. The biggest change is that every three months, I re-download a TV series for him. There are too many advertisements on the TV station, and no one has time to change channels for him. My mother thinks she won and the investment is very successful. No matter how difficult it is, I will stick to it. I don’t know what my father thinks. His eyes have long become muddy, dull, and lifeless. Only God knows how much life means to him. And I want to maintain this status quo, and I will never die. Of course, I became a well-known filial son. “What most people become is not the person they want to be, but the person they have to become.” I became more silent at the compliments that came over my face. To avoid losing control of emotions, hold out your middle finger to them. “The Way of Heaven” once said: “Bringing up children to guard against old age, then your parents are your natural creditors, and this kind of feeling is deeper than the mountains than the sea. What you always want is to repay debts. So this kind of culture makes everyone unaffordable. Come on. Look at this nation, it’s always bending over.” At this moment, “responsibility” is the greatest civilization and the greatest hypocrisy. As far as I am concerned, I will never allow my children to intervene in my retirement. His life belongs to him. My aging and death belong to me. That’s not, and it should never be his fate. Finally, the problem itself is to analyze raising children as an opportunity for pension investment… It is shameless to turn family affection into a transaction. I think.

9 months ago

According to the current birth rate of newborns in China, if the post-80s and post-90s have no children, artificial intelligence is most likely to be used for old-age care. Of course, it is also possible to introduce black and dark green as nursing workers like Europe and the United States. Some people say that if they have money, someone will provide for themselves. They are afraid that others are just thinking about your money and are not interested in providing you with old age. Nursing homes are no better than kindergartens. The kindergartens are the flowers of the motherland. You must be held accountable for accidents. It is normal for nursing homes to break their legs and coma to death. I don’t know.

9 months ago

Everyone has different personalities. I like to be alone. There is no one to take care of when I get old without children. The worst thing I can think of is being unable to move and starving to death. It feels okay for seven days at most. So people like me deserve to be lonely and die. I’m happy I like it, and I don’t feel pitiful. It’s just that the onlookers will show sympathy when they see it. Compared with loneliness, I don’t like human relations very much. I hate Chinese New Year the most. I like loneliness. I like to be alone. I feel very tired when I live a life of entanglement. I will worry about raising a cat. If I raise a child I can’t imagine that from birth to marriage and childbirth of such a villain, I won’t worry about the day when the child is old. It’s so tiring like this, and I hate the excitement. It is better to face death alone when one person grows old. It’s better to hang up after a few days of suffering when you’re old than to suffer for a lifetime.

9 months ago

People are pitiful when they reach a certain advanced age, but the specific content, manifestation, and methods of the pitiful are different. Specific to the question of whether there are children and whether the old age is pitiful, the two are not related. Of course, having good children around is a blessing, but if a good boy is far away, or even a foreign country, the elderly will not enjoy much blessing. And if there are bad children, it is equivalent to a large number of failures of various inputs, which is worse than no children, such as nibbling the old or making all kinds of troubles, etc. In the extreme, there are children who harm their parents for property, etc. . Those who don’t have children are another type. Life is diverse and cannot be generalized. In the context of aging and declining birthrate, the government and society must think about countermeasures and establish reasonable mechanisms for the issue of endowment. Especially various communities and neighborhood committees have to worry about this matter.

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