In 1996, a female student, a 985 undergraduate in Beijing, a top2 postgraduate major, graduated in 21 years. The first 25 years went smoothly. Whether it was college entrance examinations, undergraduate application for overseas exchanges, graduate studies, and academic research during postgraduate studies, the scholarships continued, but I never thought that the trough of life would appear in the autumn recruitment. Because I was persuading to leave my major, many of them switched to finance, but I was not too interested in it. I originally wanted to study for a doctoral degree. For various reasons, I decided to temporarily give up the academic path and didn’t want to be a student anymore, so I took the public examination in 2020. The selection wave has joined the selection army. After the start of the autumn recruitment, I was preparing for the selection while delivering to some state-owned enterprises. However, because of the high pressure of scientific research, less internship experience, and late preparation for the selection exam, I lost all the places I wanted to go. He has participated in Sichuan selection, Shandong selection, Shanxi selection, Zhejiang Qingbei selection, Zhejiang orientation 985 selection, Jiangsu famous school outstanding students, Shanghai selection, Beijing selection, Tianjin selection, Chongqing selection, Hebei selection, national examination and Beijing examination, etc. In a province in the central part of my hometown, due to the high pressure of the college entrance examination in my hometown, I have never had the idea of ​​returning home to the provincial capital and other provincial capitals in the north for employment. Due to geographical considerations, the Greater Bay Area and the west were not considered before, so many places choose It was used to practice hands, so after the written interview, I successively gave up positions in Sichuan, Shandong, Shanxi, Hebei and other places. The cities I initially considered were Beijing and Jiangsu and Zhejiang (only Hangzhou and Nanjing). The former is used to staying for so many years, and the latter is due to various considerations of personal preference, housing price and the cost-effectiveness of civil servants. However, the national exam and Beijing exam interviews were brushed, the excellent students of Jiangsu famous schools did not enter the exam, the Jiangsu Provincial exam, the Guangdong selection and the Beijing exam conflict, the Zhejiang exam did not enter the first time, and the second time I applied for the exam for stability. I like a job that has no future, so I gave up during the interview. I was exhausted all the time, and finally, under the pressure of the other party’s constant urging and the eagerness of my family to be a civil servant, I handed over three parties to a municipality, but I was not satisfied with the city and job position. The house price was low and the salary was low. The economic development is getting more and more collapsed. If I can’t choose the city straight starting point, I will be half shorter than the other classmates, and I will be in a different place with my boyfriend. If I want to recruit someone else in the spring, I get the news that the school will not let the three parties ruin the selection; I want to postpone the job search and the family disagrees, feel too risky and the selection is getting more and more difficult; I want to resign and go to Jiangsu and Zhejiang after doing it first. Shenzhen started from the beginning, but her boyfriend’s national entrance exam is ashore, and there is a high probability that he will stay in Beijing and go to Buwei; seeing every option in life is crossed, every day is filled with a deep sense of powerlessness, and he doesn’t want to negotiate with the man for five years. My friends break up, and I don’t want to let myself spend the rest of my life in a city with mediocre development and few family and friends. Top2 has too many auras and too many labels. There are always people who think what you should and shouldn’t be, and they will unconsciously care about the evaluation and vision of people around you. Seeing that the usual classmates who are average in all aspects are recruited to the strong departments of the developed regions, they still unconsciously compare their selections. I have been persuading myself to live in my hometown, but because of my innate ambition, I can’t reconcile myself well. I can’t attribute the current results to others, but in the interview process, I can still feel that gender is indeed a big consideration under the same conditions, but more importantly, I have not done a good job planning, city, and job selection before. And other aspects of the investigation. For example, plan ahead and do more student work to get a central election qualification. You should not go for an internship during summer vacation and should go back to school to review the test; understand the information in advance: the price ratio of civil servants in the Pearl River Delta is countless higher than Beijing, although there are no friends or relatives in the city. It is also very strange, but at least the development is good and the climate is good. The sand and dust in Beijing this spring is almost sending people away. The current plan is to go to work and continue the buwei selection. I don’t know if it’s feasible, but when I think of Beijing’s life pressure, the high housing prices need two families to dig out six pockets. The climate is so bad, the commuting time is long and the salary is low. With a series of shortcomings, and instantly feel hopeless in life, why do I still have to come to Beijing in the end? In such a short and limited life, why can’t I go to my favorite city with the person I like, do a more promising job, and lead a relatively comfortable life. Probably I have too much expectation and insufficient ability. A loser’s gibberish late at night. No matter what, we still have to face life, try not to humiliate the school, try to do something practical for the masses, and try to make all of our choices correct.


By zhiwo

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5 months ago

Born in 1996, mother and child were single for 25 years, graduated from undergraduate in 19 years, and have changed 5 jobs so far. Five jobs are all working as teachers in institutions. The deposit on his body is the thousands of dollars left after the resignation of the fourth job on January 31, and I don’t know if it counts as a deposit after only a few thousand dollars. Entered his fifth job on March 4 and resigned on March 13. The reason is that there is no ready-made student for the fifth job to bring me, and I need to distribute flyers and push on the ground every day. Before joining the company, the agency did not tell me that I would go out to do ground push, and I couldn’t accept such things as handing out flyers to do ground push. After all, my personality is not the kind of lively and cheerful person, and I feel that it is indignant to go out and hand out flyers as a people’s teacher. So I resigned. But the good thing is that after this experience, I finally decided on my goal-the preparation teacher. In the past two years after graduation, I have been hesitating not to take the school, but I was really tired after drifting in the institution for two years, so I finally made up my mind this time. I am at home now, and I don’t plan to look for a job in the past few months, so that I can study the knowledge of examination and editing with all my heart. Of course, I am actually quite scared. I am afraid that I will be at home for a few months. What if I fail to pass the exam? I am afraid that I will derail with the outside world if I am at home for a few months. I am afraid that my family and others will speak coldly to me. I am afraid that I will bear it. There is no huge pressure. However, since I made the choice, I believe that no matter what the future is, I will not regret it. In fact, over the years I have slowly discovered that the occurrence and end of everything in life has its inevitability, has its own meaning, and is all arranged in the dark. For example, if it weren’t for the experience of handing out flyers this time, I would definitely not have the determination to go to the preparation teacher, maybe I would continue to wander on the journey of finding an agency. The so-called “suffocation and loss of horses” are not good fortune! I am only 25 years old, and it is the right time for my youth. There are still decades to come. I will go on step by step.

5 months ago

At the age of 23, he successfully landed ashore and became a civil servant that made parents proud and envied by relatives and friends, but was he happy? I don’t know, it doesn’t seem to be important, just think that my family is happy. Two years later, at the age of 25, I slowly realized what it means to be sad and powerless. When I fall in love, I used to think it was a matter of letting the flow go, but when I got married, I realized how difficult it is to let it go. Gradually embark on the road of blind date, because in a small county, there are fewer resources to choose from, and there is no one that I like and is more suitable. The more I get on the blind date, the more I feel that I may not find the one I like in this life. My friends, I work in the county where I live. Some of my friends are in other cities, and there are very few when I can meet each other, and they all have their own lives. I haven’t been shopping for a long time, because there is no one to accompany you shopping, Saturdays and Sundays are meaningless to me. I don’t know what to do when I give me time. I am envious of others who invite three or five friends to dinner in their free time and chat and drink at home. Life, after all, I have no such happiness and company. At work, there is a kind of ability that you have, but you don’t like it. A major focus of the work within the system is to deal with people. You can do it, but you will feel tired. On the surface, it is polite. The colleagues around you can tell you about big things with a smile, and they will also smile. Pit you make you feel bored, you have been pitted many times, and you have to turn a few turns before you find that you are pitted. Not to mention that it is a small county in itself, fighting relationships, and having its own small circle. In short, if you want to, if you work hard, you can go up, but you will be unhappy and become what you don’t like. In terms of family, it feels ridiculous. This year I accidentally discovered that my dad had cheated. A man who was called a good man by everyone around him, who was good-tempered and willing to work hard, he actually cheated. When I first discovered it, I felt shocked, painful, and unacceptable. I could not fall asleep all night and all night. The conversation between him and Xiaosan appeared over and over again in my mind. When I closed my eyes, I felt the pain of the whole body. After the reaction, I only felt disgusting. The man who you used to be a mountain, the man who regarded him as emboldened in difficult times, he actually cheated and did what you think is the most disgusting and you most contemptuous. I used to think that the low point of my life was to find a job when I graduated, so I did a lot of psychological construction when I graduated, telling myself that no matter how difficult it is, I can’t give up. It was discovered later that the arrival of the low tide period is unforeseeable. 25 years old, confused and quickly recognizing the cruel age of reality, lost too much, but gained almost nothing, slowly bid farewell to the little girl in my heart, no one to protect you, you have to become stronger.

5 months ago

At the age of 25, what stage are we in? Erikson, an outstanding representative of self-psychology, proposed the psychosocial theory of personality development, which divides personality development into eight stages, and each stage faces a crisis. This crisis is An important turning point in the development of personality. If we can solve the crisis smoothly in a positive way, our self-power can be strengthened, and our personality can develop soundly, and our lives can move in a meaningful direction, adapt to the environment, and feel the support and recognition of the society. However, if the crisis in the previous phase is not resolved, it will affect the resolution of the crisis in the next phase. Children and adolescents aged 12-20 need to integrate independent self-awareness, past-to-future continuity, social identity and other information into a clear self-awareness, that is, gradually explore and establish self-identity [1]. At this stage, the following questions should be addressed: Who am I? What position should I occupy in society? What does my existence mean to this world? What kind of person am I going to be in the future? How do I strive to become the ideal person? The establishment of self-identity marks the beginning of adulthood. If you cannot obtain identity at this stage, your roles will be confused, that is, you are not sure of your identity and meaning, you do not know what you can do, and you cannot choose a role that adapts to society. And it will reduce the possibility of a smooth resolution of the crisis in the next phase. The next stage is early adulthood (20-25 years old), we need to build close relationships with others. Erickson believes that establishing an intimate relationship with others means integrating one’s own identity with the identity of others, and may face self-sacrifice. People who have not established self-identity will shrink; those with self-identity will Have the courage to establish intimate relationships with others. People who have not established identity may avoid establishing intimate relationships with others, creating a sense of loneliness, and may also form chaotic relationships [2]. In last year’s hit drama “Only Thirty”, Wang Manni once said to Zhang Zhi, “If two people from different walks of life become a family, they will be lonelier than one person.” And want to know if two people are on the same path. , We must first recognize which way we are going. So how can we establish our own identity so that we can actively resolve the conflicts of intimacy in our early adulthood? In the process of “finding ourselves”, we can seek advice from our parents, teachers and other people around us, just like Zhong Xiaoqin often asks Gu Jia. But more importantly, we have to consider our true inner needs. This is also a manifestation of loving ourselves. Just like the singer-songwriter Zhu Jingxi said in “Sister Riding the Wind and Waves”, “Before you love your neighbor, love yourself first.” We need to collect information about ourselves and the outside world, fully explore ourselves, and find the best path for our future. Just like Zhong Xiaoqin in “Thirty Only”, after divorcing and living alone, she saw the odds and ends of her life, and gradually discovered her lazy side. She also learned to reflect on whether other people’s opinions were suitable for her, and finally she knew how to refuse. We can also help clarify our needs and expectations for the future through the “career fantasy tour” activities. First find a place that is safe and will not be disturbed, sit or lie down relaxed, and play some soothing music. We can try to imagine our own “typical day” ten years later, starting from getting up and opening our eyes, to washing at home, to going to work, to work in the unit, and going home after work, until we sleep and rest. The more specific the content of your imagination, the more detailed the better. For example, what is your home like, what is your working environment, how do your colleagues call you, and what is your job content? For specific instructions, please refer to the book “Career Consultation and Counseling” by Jin Shuren [3] or search for related audio on the audio sharing platform. Let us not become discouraged because we have not “find ourselves” at the age of 25. In modern society, the important task of establishing self-identity has been postponed, and many people are still exploring themselves as adults. If you feel confused and anxious about this, it is because you are exploring strategies to solve this important life crisis and are “finding yourself”. The 50-year-old sister can also form a girl group to ride the wind and waves to tap her potential, and we “do not panic for the rest of our life.”

5 months ago

There are a few friends of this age around Xiaolu. They chose different paths at the beginning, and now they have got different results. Take a look together, I believe their experience will inspire you, so that you can be more clear about how to choose your future development path. My friend Xiao A, like many classmates back then, chose to take the postgraduate entrance examination. The difference is that she chose the postgraduate of this school, the pressure will be much less, so the final successful landing is also expected. But because she chose to go to graduate school not to improve herself, but to avoid work, so today, three years later, she still has to face the life problem of finding a job. In addition, her major is relatively unpopular, and her counterparts are only work in research institutes, which makes her very entangled. My friend Xiao B did not join the postgraduate entrance examination team, nor did he choose the public examination. Instead, he chose an examination editor with relatively less competitive pressure. Because she is the only child in the family, she wants to go back to her hometown, enter the system, live a stable and peaceful life, and have time to take care of her parents. In the end, she also successfully entered the system and received a stable working environment and good treatment. But now that three years have passed, she feels what it means to “boil a frog in warm water”. She recently told me that she regretted not having the postgraduate entrance examination. She should go to a big city to see it again, and then it will not be too late to enter the physique. 25 years old, very similar to 18 years old and 30 years old, is a node in our life. Regardless of success or failure, everyone at this node will feel more or less powerless, regretful about past choices, dissatisfied with the status quo, and even more confused about the future. But anyway, fortunately, we are only 25 years old. As the old saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. I feel too late now. When I reach 30, isn’t it later than 35? So now is the best time to make changes. Xiaolu suggests that everyone can settle down, organize their own experiences over the years, plan ahead for the development path in the next five years, and then make changes. Everything is too late.

5 months ago

I am over 25 years old, and I will be 26 in March next year. Graduated with a master’s degree in June this year, and reported with a PhD in September. On the day of the report, the secretary said that three c journals would be published after graduation. Although it was expected, when I heard the news that “17 Ph.Ds at the level of 17 have only graduated 2”, I was really shocked, and the pressure increased exponentially. So I don’t want to read it anymore. From the perspective of others, I am very envious of my Ph.D. No one knows that behind the glamor, there are some cruel realities that are unwilling to mention. My mother was ill for 17 years and relapsed again this year. It took a lot of setbacks and the diagnosis was finally confirmed. The doctor told us that there is no way to cure the disease, but to maintain the status quo and relapse at any time. During the time I was in the hospital, my mother was bedridden, and I still needed to revise my graduation thesis. As time goes by, the pressure increases daily. After writing the paper, I also found out the problem. The doctor ordered daily exercise and not to sit for a long time. The pressure has increased. Fortunately, I persisted. Examination in June, final admission. On a beautiful afternoon after the report, when I was in the library, I found out that my undergraduate classmate who endorsed me with me was about to get married 4 years ago. When I was happy, I remembered myself still reading the back of the book and writing the essay. I couldn’t help but feel sad because of the different trajectories of my life. If it’s normal, I may also be married and have a house. I can also afford a car, right? Think about it, needless to say, the pressure has increased a little bit. Later, while reading in the lounge before class, I ran into a classmate who was also Bo Yi. After chatting, I learned that this old man is not confused about his age, and still resigned from the enviable career establishment of the vice principal, just to study for a Ph.D. I said why are you doing this? He said that there is no room for improvement in my life, so I want to pursue what I want and what I want to achieve. After hearing this, I was stunned. I once had goals and ideals that I wanted to pursue. When I was taking the postgraduate entrance examination, I gave myself shot after injection, thinking that the postgraduate entrance examination is another chance to change my destiny, and it is the last straw to realize the value of my life. As long as you have graduated, you can become an academic leader and a young history. Leave a name. Afterwards, the skinny reality quickly made me realize-how can I become a scholar who can’t publish the core, C journal and scum master? In addition, my undergraduate degree is not very good, this kind of thing of becoming a big scholar in the academic world is to think about it in my dreams. Therefore, in the three years of my master’s degree, I have never had such passionate ideals and goals. So, when I said these words from an old man who was not confused about his age, I was really stunned. On the way back, I thought in my heart that compared to him, I have a big age advantage, and I have nothing to entangle. Even though I have little experience, I rarely have a chance to post quickly, but I also have a lot of free time to make up for this shortcoming, etc. Since then, it is not that there is no pressure in my heart, but the pressure has been compressed to a small amount. Get up every day-go to the library to read books-prepare for class content-after the end of the day of study, go for a run or play basketball for half an hour anyway. This is my life arrangement in recent weeks. Everyone will have a sudden increase in pressure, relax, exercise, change into a look that is not afraid of the sky, and pretend that you are strong, successful, strong, and able to cope, until you really do it. , Do it well, realize yourself. We are only 25 years old and we can live about 60 years. Time is long, life is tiring, everything is complicated, fuck!

5 months ago

I just passed my 24th birthday. Looking back on the experience of graduating for more than a year, I was admitted to the preparation work and met my first love. At that time, I felt that I was lucky. However, the subsequent discomfort brought about by the transfer of work, the breakup, the body was thin from 92 to 85, visible to the naked eye, emotionally unstable, unable to sleep all night, causing large-scale acne on the face, and extremely unconfident and born. The arrogance of fighting frantically, once felt that he was suffering from bipolar disorder, and even the planned postgraduate entrance examination had to be shelved. 2019 is really too difficult. I hope that in 2020 I can be more confident, don’t care about age too much, don’t be so anxious, don’t feel like you are. The man who was abandoned finally, forget him

5 months ago

Suddenly there were 4 likes. It seems that everyone of the same age has encountered a bottleneck more or less. Recently, I started to pay attention to the currency circle, and I want to get some extra income from the currency speculation. Earlier, I got the tuition class fee, 7200, which is okay. As the principal, I made more than 1,000 from the nearest currency circle. I hope to earn more. I feel more and more that money is really important. Many things can be solved by money. Young people can try all kinds of money-making channels. Don’t be afraid. After all, the worst is to start again. It is better than just dragging and making no progress. Very weak, I met a girl I like, but there is a gap in family background, I made a lot of promises, but it was like a picture cake. I entered a public institution after graduation, and I was half-dead, and the salary was only that much. Although I should work with the heart of serving the people, I am also a mortal, and I have to live and live, and I have a lot of things I want. With regard to friends, except for colleagues, it is also difficult to make new friends. Fortunately, a person I like is arranged, and I can see it every day. Except for work every day, I don’t know what interests and advantages I have. Try to start a side job, but it’s hard at the beginning, making myself a little bit want to give up. Now she is still working hard to persevere, trying to save enough for a house before she finds a more suitable partner, and encourage each other

5 months ago

96, 25 soon, undergraduate is about to graduate 2 years, barely resigned to be unemployed. Let me talk about work first. After graduation, I have done three jobs. There are gaps in the middle, and there are active resignations and optimizations. The industries and positions are different. At present, the direction has been reset, but there is still a certain threshold for employment. It will take a month to be conservative if the job transfer is successful. There are too many off schedules, and I am occasionally cueed during the interview, and I am worried that my next job will not last long for various reasons. The current state is worrying again, and occasionally a little Buddhism, a Buddhism, or the thought of whether the next job will not last long, it is not motivated. Besides life, I usually exercise occasionally, but it is almost irregular, and I lack motivation to do things. I’m not happy after leaving the job. I don’t even know my family and friends. In fact, I have a good relationship with my parents and a few good friends, but I just don’t want to communicate with them. I’m so embarrassed to tell them that after all I have done several jobs, but I still work very hard at work, and I don’t want to be said to be down-to-earth. Contradiction; It’s been a long time since I fell in love. The girls I met after graduation were all familiar with work. They were all shallow friends. Each job was short, busy when working, and super idle when not working, friends. The sky is south and the sea is north, and the same city is less. Are there appropriate activities to broaden the social circle of life? At present, blind dates cannot be accepted. First of all, I feel that the work is not planned well, and the economic conditions and psychological conditions are not in place. After that, I don’t feel so powerless anymore. Just find a more ideal job as soon as possible. It is meaningless to think more about other things.

5 months ago

I am also 25 years old this year and dropped out of high school due to depression. Now he is still doing general work in the factory. Friends around me all graduated from bachelor degree. There is a girl I like, a former high school classmate, but she graduated with a book and I am not the same. We have been in contact with each other, but I have never seen her because of the low self-esteem. After she graduated from university, I took the initiative to disconnect and did not reply to her. I like her very much, but I’m just a migrant worker who has never graduated from high school. In fact, I especially see her in my heart, even if I look at her from a distance, I’m very satisfied. Sometimes it’s really weak.

5 months ago

25 years old? Powerless? When I was 25 years old, a group of happy people, with more than 7,000 wages, took off. Every day, I wanted to become immortal and happy. The company does not work overtime at work, and the company that works overtime directly takes the bucket and runs away. Get fit after get off work, practice boxing the next day, and rest on weekends, so that you will feel better, and you will recover as soon as you sleep. I rented a room with my girlfriend (now my wife) for 1,200 yuan, and I went home downstairs at 10 o’clock every evening and called my wife to come down for supper. After eating, I went home and went to sleep with my mobile phone. I slept late on weekends and woke up on the road with my wife. In the summer, holding a bottle of iced drink, lazily pressing on the road, I feel that life is extremely comfortable. Until, I felt that I had been in love with my wife for 5 years, and I wanted to give a result. My wife is very opposed to it and feels that it is unnecessary to get married. My wife and parents also feel that it doesn’t matter, just be happy. What a pity, in the end, I was too stubborn. We got married and gave birth to children. I love my wife and children very much, but as a young Chinese, I still think about marrying a wife and having children. Not to mention, moved bricks.

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