As a recusal, I suggest leaving. After walking into the counseling room, I realized what a big emotional black hole we were avoiding. This black hole can only be filled by ordinary people as lovers, and the power is a drop in the bucket. Not only that, but it is also likely to hurt you. The formation of avoidance is very clear. It is mostly the emotional neglect in the early years. It seems to be easy to understand, but you must know that for a serious avoidance, the trauma of TA may last more than ten or twenty years. It has formed a strong and heavy defense layer in TA’s psychology. Does an ordinary person really have such a large energy to melt it? And there is another important condition for healing: avoiding one must recognize one’s own problems and actively seek solutions, such as psychological counseling (you can play a supporting role in this process), otherwise you are the only one who suffers. Let me talk about my own experiences and feelings: I grew up in a very traditional Chinese family with a harmonious parental relationship, but I still developed an avoidance. However, I now know that my family seems to be stable and normal, but the drawbacks of a Chinese-style family are also very obvious-education is only about reasoning and problem-solving, while ignoring emotional needs (such as caress and recognition). But I will not complain. My parents have done their best to love me. I have grown up and should learn to face my future psychological growth. The most obvious trauma I felt was the ostracism and isolation in school during the entire elementary and junior high school period. During this period, I did not develop basic emotional functions and social skills, which made my social life extremely difficult. As a result, my psychology has changed in two aspects: 1. On the one hand, I try to imitate the social behavior of others to integrate into the group. However, due to the lack of real emotional experience, subsequent social interactions seem to become normal, but to a large extent it only stays at the level of behavior and skills, and it is difficult to get deep into the heart. 2. On the other hand, after experiencing too much rejection and negation, I began to use “reason” to build a solid psychological defense: since there is no emotional dependence, only by becoming sensible and strong can I protect myself. At the age of fifteen or sixteen, which should have been sprouting, and when peers were frantically probing on the edge of puberty love, I shielded my emotional needs and took achievement in study and work as my only pursuit, and I continued it. (Yes, my mother solo didn’t talk about her first love until she was 26. Of course, it was destroyed by my avoidance to a certain extent.) At this point, I made a simple review of the cause of my avoidance. The growth experience of the avoiders is similar, which can be used as a reference. In short, avoidance healing is a long process. If the avoidance person is willing to change, and you want to accompany him as a lover, then I certainly bless you; but it is not easy for everyone. Don’t leave because of such a person’s grievance. You also deserve better.