Today, I took a leisurely look at the topic of both sexes, and found that someone greatly mentioned that the marriage rate of first love is less than 1%. I don’t doubt the accuracy of the data. But I don’t understand that the rate of breaking up for first love is so high. It is said that first love is equal to breaking up. Let’s give a lesson to my little brother, let’s see what kind of emotional society we live in

I talked to Dad at night, so I borrowed here to answer. Dad said that when you get married, it’s best not to find someone who loves too deeply, because if you both love too much, too deeply, then you are under a lot of pressure and have high requirements for each other, so it is easy to have a lot of conflicts. The most important thing is to find a suitable one who is not so loving, and to live in a plain life. In fact, after listening to my father, I felt a little in agreement, but when I wrote this, I suddenly felt that this kind of life made me a little bit hopeless. I said, you have seen a person who loves you very deeply, and later met someone who treats you better than his first love, so how hard you are. Dad said, this is probably what we need to grow, accept and overcome. Even if you and your first love are together at the end, then he may not be as good to you as when you first fell in love, so there will actually be a gap in your heart. So sometimes, there is not much difference between falling in love and getting married with someone who is not so in love with each other, but you may find it more acceptable. In fact, I usually have many reasons to refute Dad. But tonight, I suddenly felt as if what Dad said was right. But if I can, I still choose to be with the person who loves me the most, the person I love the most. I think I try to become mature, learn to give others space, learn to trust, and learn how to love. Even if I haven’t learned it, I still want to work hard to be with the person I love most. Tell me about the background of the story. The dialogue happened a year after I broke up with my first love. Update~ I thought about it for a night on 5.17. I think there is such a logic here. For me, I should have a person I like before I have everything behind. Because I met someone in love, I wanted to pursue love, so I wanted to be together, so I wanted to get married. But if not, it seems that in the field of love, everything seems to be less meaningful. Thinking about my life is still very good. I have good friends, dreams, and loving parents. Then about marriage and love, I just want to grow, but I don’t want to die. If not, then I think I have many other things. It can be done. ~5.18 Recently, I have developed a bad habit. I have developed a bad habit of staying up late. After finishing my homework, I will update it. I have seen many comments from my friends. It’s also quite touching. A close friend said that in fact, it is difficult to determine how deep the love is. If you love deeply, you can also love you as much as I like. I quite agree. I think learning to be mature and tolerant and loving other people is the most important thing. Falling in love and becoming immature are actually two separate events. Perhaps we should really work harder to pursue mature and deep love. Maybe it’s difficult and ideal, or maybe I’m really naive. Then we will let time tell us the answer. In addition, I really think that it is very important for the person who is in love to appear, it really feels like a key opens a lock. Let me briefly talk about my own affairs. In fact, before I met my first love, I was a “child” who didn’t want to fall in love at all. I remember the college entrance examination graduation trip, and I went to a temple. My friends all turned to the goddess of love (actually I don’t Remember what kind of god it is, in a word, it is in charge of marriage) seeking marriage, and I think I want too much in my life, I want to realize my dream, I want to be healthy and happy with my friends and my parents forever Being together, after all, people can’t ask for so many people, so I didn’t pray to Eros. After entering the university, emm, I met someone I like, and then “really smelled” to leave the order. It is really incredible to think of it. I really didn’t expect that I would be the first one of my friends to leave the order. How should I say that when I meet the person I like, I will want to fall in love, and I want to be with the person I like forever. If I go to that temple again, I think I will pray to the god of love~~5.19~ I didn’t expect that the hand-held records are quite good, so in the near future someone will ask my mother what he thinks. People are curious about my father’s emotional experience. To put it simply, Mom and Dad were actually in first love together, in college love. I’m really super invincible, Pili envy, every time I ask my dad, “Why do you guys do it?” My dad said, the times are different~ Maybe it’s really because of the desire to survive. I don’t think mom and dad have experienced a lot of vigorous feelings like books and TV, but they are plain and the stream is long flowing. My dad always peels shrimp at home, one for my daughter and one for my wife. Every time I’m on duty, I’ll call back and chat. It’s just one day on duty, and what I called back today turned out to say that my mother was too tired at work. It would be fine to ask her to do all the housework. Even though I was at home, I also want to take online lessons. I am really mad at me. Probably my parents and my mom have no other favorites, no white moonlight, no comparison, so I can’t understand the difficulty in my heart~ That era seems to be very good, and many uncles and aunts around have come to the end of their first love. My mother used to say that our generation lived too well. She didn’t think about anything at that time. She married when she got married. She didn’t understand anything but lived well. But I understand, can I forget it. By the way, when it comes to dealing with the issue of breaking up first love, my mother thinks that it is okay to be together again in the future, and my dad thinks that she must not turn her head back. ~5.21 Because a small thing happened, I decided to update it. The more you digress, please don’t mind~ Comment that many friends, like Dad said, love too much, and may be too demanding of each other. If the other person is not satisfied with you, you will be in a big gap. A person who really likes you will probably retain a great and upright look in front of you, but if you love him very much, you secretly discover that he is not so perfect. You will pretend not to know and trust him. Pretend to completely believe in the image he showed you. Just secretly feel a little bit, first love is a particularly good person, and then I especially admire him, I think he is the kind of super invincible thunderbolt upright and upright and motivated god. Then, he actually likes playing games, but he always tells me that he doesn’t like playing, and then he doesn’t let me play, telling me to study hard and read extracurricular books. Later, I found out that he would fight with friends, as if sometimes he would take his sister to get points,,, okay. In fact, he is just an ordinary boy. But I don’t tell him, he will always be my hero. 6.1~Children’s Day Update The world is very big, there are many appearances of love and marriage. Maybe there is no standard answer. I just hope that two people who have the same views on love and marriage will come together and they will reach an agreement to become better. I only hope that lovers will eventually be married, and the affectionate will not be let down. I wish you all to remain innocent and brave, learn to mature and grow hard, Happy Children’s Day~6.13 update~ Suddenly you can answer the question of how it feels to give up a loved one suddenly. Dad told me very early that the two of us are not the same. But I just don’t believe it.


By zhiwo

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7 months ago

Because at the time of first love, you will only throw out the enthusiasm without reservation, do your best to love, and don’t know how to love. Sometimes it’s too late, sometimes it’s not enough. When I first love, I can’t deal with emotions. The little happiness feels sweet to the sky, and I can’t wait for the whole world to know it. The little dissatisfaction began to be anxious, quarreling, complaining, and feeling that it would not be possible for one more day. But first love, even with so many and so many regrets, the feeling of the first heartbeat in life always makes people turn out to taste it in the corner of memory when they dream back at midnight. Time has the power of calmness, filtering the memories carefully, and the rest are always those beautiful and pure. After breaking up, it was like a scar from when I was a child, even though it hurts, in retrospect, it is full of joy at the time

7 months ago

Because of first love, it should be very young and innocent at that time. If it is true love, after the test of time, it will get married and join hands for a lifetime! For example, the painter Huang Yongyu and his first love! If it is not true love, as long as one of the two parties changes their minds, they will die without disease. After all, some people like freshness, and they get married only once in love, and feel sorry for themselves… Isn’t that true of the feelings in the world? Divide and reunite, fate and fate… If you fall in love at first sight, first love is a lifelong love. Although it is a small probability event, if you can meet it, you will be lucky!

7 months ago

Because you gave the most immature and most sincere feelings to each other. Your requirements for the other party are also high, the requirements are the same pure, the same strong, and the same pure. You are less defensive against the opponent, so you will be easily hurt. The purest and purest feeling, only once. In the future, there will be true love, true love, and the right person, but there will be no more first love that is not allowed to exist in the slightest impurity. This is why the first love generally cannot go on.

7 months ago

Unknowingly, the praise has broken two hundred, and I can finally feel the joy of those who have passed the two hundred answers. It is a good start in 20 years. Thank you all for leaving me in the comment area and private messages to encourage me and help each other. friend. We went to the police station on January 12, 20. It was the police that I called. The reason will not be explained in detail. The words written here are hoped to help people who are depressed, can’t think of, and who have lost all hope during the breakup. Today is the 75th day after leaving him. He should have a new girlfriend, and I have experienced countless blows in the entire 24 hours from yesterday to today. Losing love is not terrible, but you are afraid of losing your courage in life. During this period of time, I experienced layoffs, violence, breakups, and epidemics. This is the 75 days I have been alone, of course, my beloved family, friends, and psychologists also silently supported me. I want to say two things. The first thing is that friends who have experienced violence, whether boys or girls, must find a psychiatrist for psychological counseling. The physical injuries are visible to the naked eye and can be detected after recovery. But mental damage will come surging at some point: I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, and lose all feelings when I collapse. He lurks at any time, running out to be a demon when you are vulnerable. For example: I never thought that I would have strong bad thoughts many times. Violence will make us lose confidence in the future, and will immediately become alert to things that feel dangerous. You will fall into extreme low self-esteem, doubt yourself, and doubt life. If you only have yourself at this time, you will start to be depressed and have insomnia. You won’t feel hungry if you don’t eat. Dear stranger, if you have these symptoms of me, please ask a psychologist for help. Friends who need software recommendations can trust me privately to avoid the suspicion of advertising. The second thing is that being broken in love is never a trivial matter. It is very painful to leave for those who truly give and love. Here I want to make one thing in particular. Everyone should not sacrifice themselves in exchange for it. The love between two people, especially your future (postgraduate entrance examination, going abroad, work). Your giving up will not only make you miss your best self, it will also make your partner feel stressed. You will have a reason to throw the pot when you are not going well, and he will dilute your love under pressure. You trade the whole world in exchange for him. If he leaves, your world will begin to collapse and your emotions will collapse. So, trying the law by myself, I advise you in sweet love not to make too much personal sacrifice, otherwise, this Will be the last straw to crush you. My psychiatrist (a very good sister) told me that a failed relationship must be to tell you something. You don’t need to analyze the pain and experience of the person who hurt you. You need to know your own Needs and life planning. For breakups, it is usually time and new love. The reason why I recommend time is not to deliberately escape from this breakup period, because feelings are inertial, and there are conflicts between your heart (still in feelings) and your brain (keeping your mind). This is the cause of the pain. Give yourself some time to get along with yourself and understand what you really think. Xinhuan may be able to solve loneliness and replace the company he used to be, but the problem always exists, not facing oneself, not reconciling with oneself, not exploring the reasons behind, not admitting, just delaying the pain. The sister said that when she broke out again, she would be swallowed by the dark side of pain. Every relationship should always be reviewed, summarized, and reviewed. We need to find the most fundamental cause of the problem and avoid continuing next time. Only in this way will the lost happiness be retrieved. I wish the friends who broke up can come out as soon as possible. I know that this process is painful and it will be relatively long, but I want to believe that the day when you heal is the day when happiness comes! I wish all the friends who are already in love can have a long water, extreme love will be exciting and fast, and the walk will be very sudden.

7 months ago

This question is actually very simple… In a love or marriage relationship, we can set a characteristic value for both parties. When the characteristic values ​​of both parties are close, the better the fit between the two parties will be, and the less the relationship between the two parties will be ended. The greater the difference between the eigenvalues ​​of, the lower the fit between the two parties, and the easier it is to end the relationship between the two parties. This assumption is based on psychology. In the classic research of social psychology, similarity is a very important reason for intimacy. Two people have similar personalities, hobbies, abilities, looks, etc., which all help make the two people have an intimate relationship. We simplify the eigenvalues ​​into 5 types, namely A, B, C, D, and E. Set the variation range of the characteristic value to 1-100. We assume that all the eigenvalues ​​of these features are randomly distributed. Suppose I am A12B77C98D53E8. We can set the interpersonal characteristic value difference to be less than 25, which is very suitable. For example, the eigenvalue of another opposite sex (homosexuality is the same) is A15B73C100D50E10, then this opposite sex fits me very well. According to the above assumptions, if we also assume that the eigenvalues ​​are also randomly distributed among the population, then most of the people you meet are not suitable for you. This is very simple. Assuming that there are 500 balls in a box and your ball is number 345, then you randomly draw a ball whose number is outside the range of 320-370 than it is within the range. This is why, there are many people you know, but only a few close friends, and there are even fewer lovers who can be with you for life. The above assumptions naturally have many imperfections. It is more reasonable to assume that it is naturally more complicated. For example, if there are more features, if there are 100 types, the weight of each is not the same, and it is not a random distribution, but a normal distribution, and it is also assumed that the eigenvalues ​​will change with time. Changes will also produce clusters rather than random distribution in the population. However, the conclusion will not change much. It is only easy for you to break up with your first love because your first love is the opposite sex and age-appropriate object that you meet the best in your life. The probability is very low. You are more likely to meet more suitable people later.

7 months ago

Because everyone’s life trajectory is too far away. Lovers in their early years are still in an unformed state, whether it is thought, experience or even social class. The co-production at that time is likely to be phased. As time goes by, some people drive high and walk low, some people drive low and walk high, or simply different, and slowly form their own rhythm. If the rhythm can’t keep up, they naturally have to separate. The tadpoles can play with the fish in the water. After becoming a frog, I will find friends on land

7 months ago

The first lover has no experience in love. The TA adds his thoughts and expectations of love to this relationship, and the source of those thoughts is not life. Some of them are very unrealistic, and it is difficult for the other party to meet his expectations. In addition, there is no experience in love, and the tolerance for relationship problems is very low. If two people are unwilling to resolve and compromise, then a breakup is inevitable. That’s why people miss first love so much. Apart from the purer feelings at that time, they also realized later that the reasons that were indispensable at that time were not so difficult to resolve now.

7 months ago

Show you something interesting. Is the 1% marriage rate of first love that someone mentioned so much as a fact? Searching the entire network for the keyword “first love” and the corresponding hot words in the surrounding area shows that there are the most movies and televisions. Let’s look at this hottest surrounding word. The popular hit drama Love. 1. “Let’s Watch the Meteor Shower” This play tells an inspirational story of young people pursuing love, friendship and dreams, and it premiered on Hunan Satellite TV on August 8, 2009. The refreshing point of the play, Cinderella counterattacked and was admitted to a prestigious school, and the love and hatred of the four rich second generations, friendship and music, go round and round and finally regain happiness. 2. The play is cooler, the turtle meets the rich second generation, and there is a story of a pile of leeks fighting with each other. In the end, the happy ending was a happy ending, and the people who pursued feelings were finally happy. Zhang Zeshang was eventually sentenced to jail for several crimes. As the saying goes, good and evil are rewarded. The surrounding words give me the feeling that the plot of the TV series is ups and downs and exciting. Looking at us will have a sense of substitution, fantasizing that we are the hero or the heroine, and want the perfect love of the other half. Idealized, when waiting for a relationship, preconceived will think of him/her in that soap bubble period. However, the skinny reality, the pains of life with edges and corners, and the coat of first love is removed, just two little whites who don’t understand feelings are leaning against each other. Looking at the comparison of first love + first love breakup search again, it is obvious that the inflection point of first love breakup is prominent, the crest is relatively high, and the popularity is relatively large. The crowd portrait division ranks first in Guangzhou, second in Jiangsu, and third in Shandong. North, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, the first love in first-tier cities, Guangdong, is the most difficult to be together. Character attributes, I will analyze this, it feels a bit interesting. Under the age of 20, high-spirited, domineering, and youthful. It doesn’t matter who is missing, it’s just a puppy love, and it doesn’t matter if it’s broken. 20-29, I talked about my first love at university or at work. I care about feelings very much. I regret breaking up. I often know how to get back my first love. What should I do when my first love breaks up? Look at the index of first love + first love breakup at this time. maximum. 30-39, basically all married, the unmarried sex relationship is not necessarily the main theme. After the marriage and quarrel, apart from feeling frustrated, I recalled the goodness of the beginning, the pain of the first love and the breakup, and the only thing left is the aftermath. 40-49, what kind of bicycle do you want? Even if you broke up with your first love and searched for your first love, it is hypocritical. Is the burden of life not enough? The child’s grades are still good enough, and he has spare time to search, the first love is greater than the first love to break up. More than 50, revolutionary friendship is so innocent, love is the trust between comrades, but unfortunately most of them don’t know how to surf the Internet. In summary, first love is your first cognitive action of self-initiation of love. Naturally, there will be a lot of blindness and misunderstanding. This is also the first direct manifestation of human animality in love. You will not consider all aspects of ethics, morals, emotional values ​​and lifestyle, but rely on the secretion of hormones to choose the partner of the mate. Therefore, it is inevitable to break up. This is actually the purest and most beautiful reason for first love. But love is to stay together forever. It is the process of identifying a person, from appreciation, admiration, to understanding, and tolerance, from a mirage to a long-distance run of fireworks. Therefore, people who are in love have to endure a lot of hardships. This is also the reason why love is greater but hard to last. First love is love at first sight, and it is decided in an instant. And falling in love is a process of persisting for a lifetime and being responsible for each other continuously. The two are naturally different, and the results are often different. First love lives in fairy tales, marriage lives in reality.

7 months ago

I have known each other for 9 years and have been in love for 5 years. He is my first love. Call him Z for now. Z once said with certainty to me: I have a hunch that we will never be separated. But now, it’s the third year since we broke up. Why, he firmly believes that I will not leave him? Because every time after the Cold War, we would always make more than two hours of phone calls, heart-piercing noise, and finally compromise and reconciliation. In our eyes at that time, perhaps we were really noisy and the world broke up, and we will finally have a reconciliation day. At that time, I was filled with the excitement and joy of getting a new life after reconciliation… But I selectively forgot… Every cold war, I can’t sleep at night, nightmares, and mental breakdown; every quarrel, I am embarrassed to let my roommate hear, myself Hiding on the balcony, or standing in the cold wind rustling corridor, cold fingers on the phone, cold cheeks…every time we cry, every time my heart is hurt with physical pain, every time I smash something… these betrayed by him, Sensitivity and low self-esteem have really hurt, even a thousand words of “I’m sorry” and “I love you” can’t be written off. If you are hurt, you are hurt. The wound is shallow, heals quickly, and the scar is shallower; when the wound is deep, it leaves an ugly and deep scar, but we are using ugly cloth to whitewash the peace again and again. “Do you really want to abandon me for someone you know not long ago?” It’s not that he never came back to find me to get back together. But at that time, I had already met him now. Z’s tone is no longer doubtful, but shocked. It seems that I gave up not only him, but also five years of youth. Faced with his question, I did not look back. Perhaps in the eyes of others, he is now handsome and can meet every day, so I should choose a boyfriend. But I know that Z has to be better than him in terms of academic qualifications and romance… I know it can’t be compared. After resolutely leaving my first love, I asked myself, how good he was later, is he really better than my five-year relationship? Not necessarily. It’s like Huanhuan really never loved Shiro? He is her first man. When she was with him, it was not that she had never encountered a younger and beautiful scenery (King of Guojun), but at the time she had only the emperor in her eyes, and she also wished to have a pair of people for life… It was just after repeated injuries and disappointments. , After all, said the phrase “wrong payment”. Unbelievable Z, finally asked me: Why did you choose him? I said, “Because he is like a blank sheet of paper. 』A blank sheet of paper. When the relationship started, it was not a blank paper. But first love is a composition that started hurriedly before drafting the outline. Every stroke tried to make a serious look, but the ignorant heart showed his feet in every sentence. Make a mistake once and change it once. The beginning was clean and beautiful, but more and more mistakes and omissions were written, and eventually it was struck out by lines and amended characters… Until every rewrite later, we finally had experience and finally learned how to avoid quarrels and how to love one. people. Recall that we were consuming love itself to measure the limits of love. Learned, love is gone. In the end, we all have to admit

7 months ago

First of all, I think that because people of first love have a beautiful fantasy about the future, they think they can find a better one in the future, so they don’t cherish each other even more. Secondly, the first love has never experienced the pain of breaking up, so they don’t know how difficult it is to find someone who feels right, how many nights you can’t sleep and how many mornings you have to wake up (I believe most people who are broken in love It’s all in this situation), so this makes it even worse. They don’t cherish each other. They basically broke up after quarreling a few times.

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