A person who I think she is a good friend or even a best friend, because of several things I found out that she actually didn’t treat me as a friend, but like using a tool. Do you have this experience?

I think I am quite tolerant of this issue: I fell into a well, as long as you don’t push a cart of rocks down, you are my friend. If you stand by and watch, it won’t affect our friendship. When I climb up, I will find you to play games. If I can’t climb up and fold it in the well, I will occasionally give you dreams and let us reminisce about the past. It’s not that I’m pretending to be a saint, but since the moment I met someone and made friends, I didn’t expect too much luxury from him. People are not relatives to me, what I shouldn’t be mine and what I don’t owe me is just an ordinary person who accidentally walked along the same path in life. The journey was boring, teasing each other and making conversations with each other, and harmony. , You may be arrogant when you come to the intersection, after all, each has its own pursuit, and each bears its own heavy iron cross. You understand my difficulties, I understand your pain, we are acquaintances, not life and death. It’s enough for me to treat you as a friend. If I put the relationship between friends on you, you can already trust me a little bit of emotion and tell me a word of heart. This is what you mean to my life. As for whether you treat me as a friend, it doesn’t really matter. Chang Li always says that friends are mutual, which is good, but you try to understand the friendship as one-way, it is a hydrangea you throw at others, as long as he doesn’t come back and throws you a rainstorm pear flower needle, Your hydrangea is not in vain. This kind of friendship is easy for you, and the other person thinks you are generous. Someone must say that my friendship relationship is really cold. In fact, I feel that the idea of ​​”I treat you well and you will be good to me” in daily cognition seems to be utilitarian and exhausting. Because of emotional things, there is no way to count them. I said I did my best to treat you well, why are you swollen like this to me? You asked me how many kilograms this “do my best” weighs, how many feet tall, and how many meters does it have visibility? You have tried your best, but you didn’t meet my requirements. It seems that I am very greedy, it seems that I know you as if I would take you back when something happened, and it seems that my conscience is extremely bad. I must be embarrassed on the spot. So the friends in my cognition only look at the present, don’t predict the future, and don’t turn over old accounts. At the very least, I can get along with you easily. You are a big living person who can communicate and communicate with me without getting tired. I have already earned it. As long as you don’t deliberately harm me, I will always treat you as a good friend. Even if a gangster hits me and you run away, I will tell myself: Who doesn’t have the desire to survive, right? This is instinct. In this way, I would die easily. Otherwise, you accompany me to get fattened by the gangster, but I have a big bump in my heart and I don’t know how to pay you back. One day I finally waited for the opportunity to repay you, but it was not a rogue who came here. It was the Yamaguchi team who came to rush you with a submachine gun. I was in trouble. Don’t stay with you, you have been beaten with me before. Stay with you, this time it’s not a beating but a death… So the strong conflict between conscience and instinct is on the big stage of my inner drama, passion is staged, and I feel uncomfortable. I said to my heart, it’s better not to be beaten with me last time… Therefore, any non-cooperative relationship, a friend built purely on emotion, the smartest way is to regard making friends as a one-way relationship. All your expenditures to him are what you like and can satisfy your emotional appeal. It doesn’t matter whether he pays you or not. You can treat him as a living tree hole, or chat with him without money, and he will relax a lot. To give an inappropriate example, it’s like keeping a cat. From the day you raised a cat, you have no expectations of cats, and don’t expect it to give you a dead mouse and improve your food in return. You are very good to cats, and even give them a place to eat and drink. One day they are too lazy to care for you, and even scratch you anxiously. Would you hate them for poisoning them? No, because you didn’t expect it from the very beginning. Your emotions for it are one-way. When you spend, you are happy, and it accepts, the meaning of its existence in your life is already there. To treat friends, to sublimate this emotion a little more humane, but it’s right to not deviate from the main axis. You just think, if you’re a stranger, who usually likes to hear you talk about some shit and boring things that collapsed. People would like to hear and give back a few words of feedback. He is already a living bodhisattva! As for whether he treats him as you, it is not important, but before confirming that he treats you as a friend, there are some painful and confidential matters, which will be done with caution. Telling a friend too many secrets, you think it is an expression of trust, in fact, from the other side’s point of view, this may be a pressure. When a friend wants to tell me a secret that only the two of us know, I first ask if it has anything to do with me. No? Do not listen. I’m afraid of selling you when I’m talking in my sleep. Therefore, in my philosophy, there are very few scenes in which I judge the other person as a friend based on one thing. If you get acquainted, you are a friend; if someone beats me, you are a friend. Of course, there will be people who take the initiative to pull me when I am in trouble, pull me desperately, and this type of me all define it beyond the category of “friends”. Write it down in the book, and you will surrender your life in the future. This is not a friend, but a river and a lake.

zhiwo

By zhiwo

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helpmekim
7 months ago

It can be seen from a lot of small things, such as: 1, often satirize you. 2. What merits do you have are envied by many people, but he doesn’t, he is jealous of you. 3. Often you say it is a speculation if you do well in the exam, and occasionally you say that you copy it if you do not do well in the exam. 4. I borrowed money from you but didn’t repay it, and said I haven’t borrowed it. 5. Scold you secretly. 6, often wronged you. 7. Only come to you when you need your help. 8, I thought of the hair. I hope you stay away from such people! Goodbye! I was actually on fire, and I updated it. 8. Hide everything by yourself, don’t share it with you, even if you see it, don’t share it. 9, often make big jokes, regardless of your feelings. 10. Treat you as a toy and throw it away if you don’t want to play (breaking friendship) 11. He takes it for granted that you are good to him. 12. Often cold and violent. I am Yang Xiaoxiao, and I will answer everything for you. Think of it again.

heloword
7 months ago

I think I am really qualified to answer this point. I have a friend who has known each other for five or six years (let’s call it s) on her birthday, I gave her a Pandora bracelet and bought her a bead separately. At that time, he was just an intern and had no money. I treat her as my best friend, and treat her as a relative. She was very disdainful when she received the gift. She might think that I bought a piece of money to fool her. Because she doesn’t recognize this brand. Just buy this for me. I was embarrassed at the time because there were several other friends who were there when I gave her the gift, all of whom knew but were not very familiar with. s said very loudly, look at the gifts someone else gave me. I was in my heart. But it didn’t show up. After all, I think if you have the brain to go back and search for the brand, you will know that I am really spending my money. Then something amazing happened. It’s my birthday, she called me and said, “Aying, I bought you a dress, and I will give it to you for your birthday.” Then she showed me a screenshot of her Taobao shopping cart. I was very happy, because this was the first time she bought me something, and it was the first time. I was really touched at the time. Later, on my birthday, I invited her to my house for dinner, and she and I had a few more familiar university classmates and colleagues from that time. s came empty-handed and didn’t mention the gift, because one of my classmates was an overseas student and urged me to change the knee-length dress she bought me. I went to wear it, I really like looking in the mirror myself! Because I don’t pick clothes very much, and things like skirts are not good enough, so excitedly I ran out and showed them to everyone. The people present all slapped my rainbow fart and said it was good-looking. In fact, I know that everyone is showing mercy to my birthday party. It’s wonderful! s When I walked out, everyone praised me, and suddenly said: “Don’t give her any more, I don’t think it’s so pretty.” Rolled up a big eye, and told the foreign student that the skirt she picked was not good. It suits me, I’m too fat. I was really embarrassed. For a moment, my nose was sore. Even a few of my friends were silent for a long time. The whole meal was tasteless to me. The ktv singing that everyone had prepared was cancelled. In the evening I thought about it, and the more I became more angry. Later, because I was working and taking the postgraduate entrance examination, I was very busy and very busy, and I rarely contacted her. She didn’t look for me, and I didn’t look for her. She didn’t apologize even for the meal, and the skirt seemed to be the same. In fact, I thought about why she showed me the shopping cart because she didn’t plan to buy it for me at all. In fact, it doesn’t matter if you buy it or not. If I can save money from my rent to buy you a necklace, it means that I don’t care what you return or buy me. I just think you are worth it. But the truth is that I was wrong. If this person is really worthy, then she will also want to give you what she thinks is the best. Will give you face in public and praise you generously. I haven’t contacted her for a long time. Later, for some reasons, I met another girl z, z and I were also college classmates. At the same time, she is a direct school girl of s. I chatted with her very speculatively. There is a feeling of hate to see each other late. She knows that my friend is s. It was fine at first, but then gradually let go. Carefully cut a circle of friends from s that night after having dinner with s a long time ago. The content inside is: “It’s not good to look good, it’s not good to look at. What’s ignorant of your conscience.” There is a comment below, “That’s not it, hx is not much more beautiful than other women who confuse the public.” Hx is hers. nickname. I have never seen this circle of friends. Turns out to block me. School girl Z said, “I don’t like her very much either, don’t associate with her next time.” Did not answer her. But I really stopped talking to s from now on. Deleted WeChat and deleted the phone. Once z gave me some ideas for work. To thank her, I said to invite you to dinner tonight. z hesitated and said another day. I said yes, I’ll wait for you. After a long time, I once gave a thumbs up to a circle of friends who married early. This girl has a very good personality, warm and generous, and we often eat together. She was there at the dinner with s. She sent me a message and teased me that I have no target yet, and I said something urgent. After a lot of messy chatting, I suddenly came up with s, and she asked me if s and I were still in touch. I said no more. She said that human fate is also magical, and some people sometimes have a good relationship and suddenly break. Some people, who were obviously like enemies before, suddenly became friends. It’s all clouds. I wondered what she meant. She told me about s and z having a meal together because z wanted to hook up with s’ brother. Distressed * billion times. No wonder not having dinner with me, no wonder hesitating. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. You and her play together because of this, and I can’t split the elbows of the two of you together with a knife. Let you go. Fortunately, I don’t like to speak bad things about others. Otherwise, I don’t know how s and z colluded to scold me secretly. This incident tells me deeply that I am a person who has no vision. Summarize the following points: 1. Never make friends with people who are greedy for petty gains, never make friends with people who are careful, and never make friends with people who do not see you well. 2. Never speak ill of anyone with anyone. You don’t know which day this is a friend and the other is an enemy. 3. Always be nice to yourself, friendship or anything, just click and stop.

helpyme
7 months ago

In fact, it is a very simple thing, that is, we are not suitable to be friends, but I don’t understand why some people think that I ask for a lot, where am I too much? It’s good to say that you are willing to help me, and I will help her too. I think being friends is to help each other and share things in life instead of always ignoring me. Isn’t this hard to accept? I want to be friends with people who warm and support each other. Is this too much? I texted and chatted with her, and I could obviously feel that she was absent-minded and unable to return to her love. She felt that she would be interested and shared some videos with her. She didn’t reply to me at all. Many times there was no way to talk for a long time. The other party disappeared while chatting. And every time I take the initiative to talk to her. I think it’s not worth quarreling because of this kind of thing. At first, I was very sad. I felt that everyone was talking face-to-face, but as soon as everyone separated, you would just ignore it and give me a reply. It’s also respecting me. It’s weird to disappear suddenly while chatting. It feels like being left out of the cold. If you’re busy, it’s okay to tell me something. Later, I figured it out. First of all, she was really nice and helped me a lot. She is not easy to lose her temper with others. Many emotional opinions will be hidden in my heart. I guess she might have some opinions on me. Well (I guess with a little human heart) If this is the case, and she only has this attitude towards me, then why should I bother others? (But I really don’t know where to offend her) Secondly, if she has this kind of attitude towards everyone, and if she has this kind of personality, then I don’t like to be treated like this. I think this shows that we have different personalities, and we are not suitable for being friends in the first place. I respect her personality, so we can do it on the surface. If we don’t be friends, we will be acquaintances. Besides, I have friends who are willing to share my life with me, listen to my complaints, and accompany me to commit stupid things. There are really many of you. I believe you have your own circle, and you don’t need me to be your friend. I will never disturb you again. I remembered that a classmate of mine asked her in person: “Did you treat me as a friend?” I think this question is quite silly. You have asked this question. You must have an answer in your heart. First of all, she can make me feel this way. It is a process that accumulates over time. We have known each other for a long time, so it is impossible for me to start disagreeing with her because she does not reply once or twice. Then I would be too cautious. . I see some little cuties say that they don’t respond occasionally. I think this is normal. When anyone doesn’t want to chat, I think I didn’t say it clearly, which caused some misunderstandings. Let me talk about it in detail. . I feel sad because I know that she is a person who can play mobile phones even up the stairs, so I know that she can receive the messages I send in time; because I know her hobbies, so when I see When it comes to relevant content, she would like to share it with her for the first time, but she rarely did it to me; the question of chat time, she is a night owl, bed time is much later than me, and I usually do it during the day Talk to her. I told her that I wanted to learn something else and showed her the pictures that I spent a long time drawing. Her attitude was really cold. Alas, let’s finish here first. Reading the comments, maybe I am self-righteous, thinking that I know others. I’m annoying without knowing it

sina156
7 months ago

My family goes to school in Jilin and Hunan. I usually tell my friends that I will come to my house during the holidays, so he will come. I want to go. Come on, spend a few days at my house. I took him to watch the rime on the first day. In the evening, I took him and invited him to go skiing with my friends. The next day I took him to go skiing during the day. When I was online at night, he bought a cup of milk tea. One sip of milk tea is less, you want to drink it yourself! Me: (Your mother, you said you were motion sickness, I would take a taxi everywhere you went, and you never paid a penny for yourself. I invite you to dinner and ski, and I wash the bowls I made for meals at home. You are lying on the sofa next to me. My friend drove me home. You think he always brakes and gets drunk and faints. Drinking two sips of milk tea, you fucking say this to me?! I can go to your mother!) Since you can say this, just It means you didn’t take me seriously, and I’m blind. I’ll admit it. I wanted to buy you a pan-fried pork pan and stay at my house anytime. This time, I’ll go to your mother. !

yahoo898
7 months ago

Actually, you don’t need to look at anything to see if others treat you as a friend. You can tell from the connection between you. Take 10 times as an example. You can play with him more than 7 times. He doesn’t treat you as a friend. If you are always looking for him to play, and he has never been looking for you to play, then he will not refuse, take the initiative, and be irresponsible. In fact, this rule can also identify you as a female (male). Do friends like you?

leexin
7 months ago

When I graduated from junior high school. The “very good” people who were playing at the time made an appointment to get together. One of the girls said: “Don’t tell XX, I don’t want to see her at this party.” This girl was a good friend I thought at the time (because it is really hard for me to tell now, I regarded her as the best Friend), and this ×× is me. How did I find out later. It was another girl among them, and also a good friend of mine, a best friend, and she is still. She didn’t go on the day of the party, so she ran to find me and told me about it. In addition, when someone called her, she also spoke out straightforwardly. I am very grateful to her, and very moved. The girl who didn’t want me to go, I still don’t know why. Maybe she didn’t know what happened at the time. I know what she said. Maybe she knew. Still will chat with me casually, using me as a tool person. After refusing a few times, I didn’t find me much. The girl who told me about this is probably the simplest and kindest person I have ever seen. There is one thing I haven’t told her. Those few people actually don’t like her at all, because I happened to hear them say bad things about her. But I couldn’t bear to tell her. Because she is very attentive to people, and if she knows, she will probably be very sad. Fortunately, after graduating from junior high school, she didn’t have much contact with those people.

greatword
7 months ago

1. You talk to the other party without a single sentence, but in fact they don’t want to talk to you anymore. If you really have a good relationship, you can have endless chats on twitter. 2. You gave the other party a birthday gift and the other party did not return the gift, indicating that they did not want to develop the relationship for a long time, that is, they did not treat you as a friend, at least not a good friend. 3. You talk to someone on WeChat, and it took a century for the other person to reply. That means you have seen it, but you are too lazy to talk to you. 4. The other party and you even care about 50 cents, indicating that they have not taken you in their hearts, you are just an outsider. 5. Staying together, no topic, silence, will be very embarrassing. 6. When we go to school or work together, we have a good time chatting, and when I get home, I have nothing to say on WeChat. 7. Deliberately instruct you to do some work that she can accomplish herself. 8. When you get results, you will slander you behind your back and stay away from you. Once you lose, you will come to get close to you again, inquire about the reason for your failure from your mouth, and then use it as a chat with others. 9. Feel free to tell others the secret you told him. 10. There is no gift from Zhenger Bajing. The gift represents the weight in the heart and is not necessarily of high value. As long as you can express your feelings, it will warm your heart, but she just doesn’t want to spend a little time and money on you. flower. 11. Treat you as a trash can to vent your feelings. When you need to vent your feelings, people simply ignore you. I used to think I had a lot of friends, those who struggle together and have fun together, we talk about everything, and we will have infinite happiness when we stay together. Later, when I went to different universities, I gradually understood that it was actually not a friend, it was a stage of companionship, just like a person on a bus, who would get off at a certain stop and then drift away. That may also be considered a friend. But it’s not a person of special significance. Because of a special person, even if they don’t meet or speak for three or four years, they will have endless words when they reunite, uninterrupted contact, and a heart that is more important than a partner. Feelings are consumables. Just a little bit is necessary for people who don’t make sense to participate in social interaction, and the rest is left to the more important people who have passed the test of time.

loveyou
7 months ago

That girl is a very famous person in my late high school. Why is it famous? Because she asked her boyfriend to eat and drink, sold the computer to buy her things, and ended up fighting in public and scratching the man’s face. When she just entered school, she went to class with me. My impression of her was just that she looked ordinary, but in fact she was a girl who spoke pornographic stories more smoothly than me. No one is friends with her, or if there is no good friend, she eats alone. I also eat alone, but because I don’t like eating with other people, I can’t eat as long as there is someone on the other side. Later, she forcibly ate with me, and my influence on her became a thick-skinned but kind-hearted girl. Later, she was shocked by her way of eating. She grabbed the ribs with her bare hands. After grabbing the ribs, she carried the soup on her hand and then grabbed the fruit. The yogurt fell on the schoolbag and said she was going to wash but she didn’t move for a semester until it became A white sticky stain. Learn other people’s makeup, put foundation in school bag and throw it everywhere. In the end, the entire school bag is filled with liquid foundation. If you don’t wash school uniforms for a long time, the neckline is all brown unidentified objects. If I had discovered this earlier, I would not have continued to be friends with her, but I was indeed closed from the news at the time, and I was also the kind of person who would not find out what happened around me unless someone else said it. She often tells me which boys like her, if it’s not just some bad things about boys and girls, I almost take it seriously, and stay away from those boys and girls. Later, I played against one of the guys and realized that he liked me at the time, but she kept telling that guy how I didn’t like to be clean and how to hook up, and that guy didn’t understand me, so I believed it, and I again Because of her words, without contact with that boy, naturally there is no way to make it clear. Later, she invited me out to play several times, but I couldn’t go there because of something. What she said to the fact that I couldn’t go was all that I couldn’t go out to play because you were always in trouble. I thought it was nothing, but she increasingly took it for granted that I should do something for her. I didn’t eat breakfast in the morning, blamed me for not buying her bread, came home from school and it rained, blamed me for not bringing her an umbrella…I felt more and more weird. Because of the contrast, other people are not like this. No matter how good they are, they won’t want to “enslave” me. Enrolling in an interest class in the school, she begged me to enroll in a class with her. I gave up the gardening that I wanted to participate in and enrolled in the same class with her. The results of it? She sat in the back all the time, chatting with the new junior brother. I sat in the front and worked hard as the group leader to organize speeches. I still can’t figure it out. Since I don’t want to come, why do I have to do it? At me? Later, she and the transferred boy were together, and they were together in just one week. In the words of my friend, “If you are the one? Make a quick match?” In fact, at that time, I already felt that we were getting away from each other, but I really would not maintain the relationship, nor would I talk to her. I met them in the corridor once. I knew the boy myself, so after greeted her, I greeted the boy again. She gave me a blank look, put her body directly between us, squeezed the boy and left. Later, I met a few times, and they all looked at me with hatred and took pictures of me robbing her boyfriend… I was really speechless. From here on, we were just like strangers. The younger sister and younger brother I met later did not know that it was tens of thousands of times better than her. I was really blind at the time to make good friends with her.

strongman
7 months ago

Subject: Hello, for most adults, friendship is sometimes easily overlooked. We will not ignore the other half for a few months, but we may not contact our friends for a long time. Time slipped away in a hurry, and some friends still maintained a close relationship, most of them have become like friends in the circle of friends, and some people have even disappeared in memory unknowingly. Looking at the title, there is no more description of what kind of “utilization of tools” is, but do you know the subject? In fact, most adults actually only have two good friends. I want to share with you what a real friend looks like. Or it can help you get out of the misunderstanding of being used as a “tool” by your friends.

stockin
7 months ago

The beginning of our real break was what she said. She told me that scholarships and internships were useless. I didn’t need to spend too much time on those. It would be better to accompany her with that time. If I believed that I would play with her at that time, it would really ruin my future. Because I have seen the fate of someone like her, it is really that the girl who is broken in love must let her accompany her, causing her to delay the autumn move, and in the end the person left her abroad and dumped her. I don’t have to worry about graduating from that friend’s home, but I have to find it on my own. I care about these honors. Later, these honorable job hunting really helped me. Now that I think about it, I feel scared, but I really block her after we graduate and work a few years later. I work very hard and always work overtime. When I go home, I just want to take a good rest and be alone. She likes to call me and chat with me. I find it annoying to bother me. Although it is about once a month, it takes an hour or two each time. First of all, I was not interested in what she said. Secondly, I also explained that I was very busy and tired and didn’t want to listen to this. After all, she hadn’t shared any good things with me, and she felt that I was unkind. I think it’s interesting enough for me to listen to her so many times. Her family situation is better than mine, but we have AA system every time we eat, and I didn’t think of her. And I used to give her a small gift every year when I came back from abroad. Some people said that two hours in that month were not too much for me to care about. But I think even sleeping is better than listening to her talk, not to mention that I had to take the certificate at that time. Her family’s good work is also helped by the family, and the kind of leisurely ones, so she wants to find someone to accompany her. I found my job by myself. I encountered difficulties and was owed salary once. That’s how I never asked her for help. My hope is to respect each other and try my best to solve my own affairs. Later, I felt more and more that she just wanted to talk to me, treating me as a free emotional trash can. I didn’t even think I was meaningful enough, and I didn’t owe her. After I blocked her, I read the book by myself during those times, and later I got the certificate I wanted. So other people didn’t treat you as a friend, and you didn’t have to give her in vain. If you have time to improve yourself!

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