Many times I feel that saying “I’m sorry” or “thank you” is a kind of politeness or even a conditioned reflex, but in contact with people, I always feel that this will make me look weak and even bully. Many times when I say these things, others will look at me with particularly inexplicable eyes (for example, if someone pays me back, I will thank him, and I will even say I’m sorry to let you run.). If you want to be a strong person, should you reduce the frequency of apologizing or thanking yourself? Thank you.

The Chinese do not believe in verbal “sorry” and “thank you”. We believe in action. Saying “I’m sorry” means that you often make mistakes and hurt others, but don’t correct them. Saying “thank you” often means that you often need help from others and get benefits from others, but you are always empty-handed and unwilling to give. Chinese people have very high requirements for being in the world. You have to be yourself first, make fewer mistakes, don’t hurt others, and ask for help less. Instead of just saying “I’m sorry” and erasing your faults, let alone a “Thank you”. “Just repay the kindness of others for helping you. In this way over time, what you lose is your credibility as a human being. Others will think you are an unbelieving person, and will not think you are weak, polite, and humble. Because the real hurt and kindness can’t be compensated or reciprocated by any words. Saying “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” can only be irrelevant, and it is your unintentional mistake, unintentional failure, otherwise you should not say it. And even if it’s not a matter of importance, you’d better use these two sentences sparingly. You can give it a try. If you step on a person’s foot occasionally and say “I’m sorry,” others may accept it. If you step on ten people, someone will become impatient. If you step on twenty people, someone will call you blind. If you step on it every day, Someone will think you are looking for a fight. Our standard requirement is that if you accidentally stepped on someone’s foot because of squeezing the subway today, you must be careful tomorrow and remind yourself to be careful not to step on others again. Believe it or not, you stepped on a person three times, and you said sorry to him, and he said that it didn’t matter, what he was thinking in his heart must be how to step on you back. We prefer people who are cautious, rather than people who always talk about sorry and make endless mistakes. If you really hurt someone, don’t say sorry. If you say it, you will become intentional. We have a saying “goodness can make up for it.” You must first tell others that you are unintentional with your kindness. Use good deeds to make up for your faults so that the relationship can gradually return to trust. And saying thank you is the same. You lose a dollar in your pocket, and someone reminds you that you pick it up and say thank you, and the two are cleared. This is called equal pay and reward. But if you lose your wallet, there are thousands of dollars in it, as well as your bank card and ID card. Others can pick up the money. Through various channels, they will find you after a lot of hard work and return it to you. You just say something. Thanks, give it a try? Do you still remember the little girl who picked up gold in Wuhan? The owner gave a pennant and a large package of snacks, but only sent two more sets of test papers, and was attacked by the entire network, saying that her way of thanking her was bad and there was a big problem. In this situation, if you just say thank you, the next time you see someone drop their wallet, someone will kick it into the ditch. We have a saying that you don’t say thank you for great grace, and there is another sentence after that. If you want to thank you, just use action to express it. In the Chinese people’s worldly love, when someone is willing to help you when encountering a major event, it must contain a great deal of affection. If you can return the same kindness, it will make you have me in you and you in me. If your ability is low and you can’t pay back once, you will find a chance to pay back ten times a hundred times, and then others will continue to help you next time.


By zhiwo

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8 months ago

Thank you for being there often, but sorry for not being there often. Because before doing things, I usually think and plan in advance, prepare in advance, and try to be thorough in doing things as much as possible. When there is a problem, he will admit the mistake and correct it in time, and make a simple record, record the core problem of himself, and continue to improve and improve in the future work and life. More often, what I pursue is neither humble nor overbearing. Politeness depends on how the other person treats me. If you can respect me an inch, then I will respect you a foot. If you throw a peach, I will repay Li. When others help me, I first thought of saying thank you. I did something wrong, and I first thought of admitting and correcting, rather than sorry. Thank you because of courtesy and respect. But like in the comments, some are disrespectful to me for no reason, then I really have to say sorry, because I will fight back firmly.

8 months ago

Sorry, I rarely use “sorry” to express my inner feelings. If I use it, it proves that I’m cynical again and have a hippy smile. For example, the opening sentence is. As for saying “thank you”, in real life, when I say this sentence, I usually say it when I accept paid services from others in a non-service capacity. For example, when I eat at McDonald’s, the waiter cleans up the desktop for me, and I say thank you; on the plane, I asked the stewardess to ask for a glass of water and I said thank you; the courier babbled and carried the bulky goods upstairs for me, and I also said thank you. In these scenes, because their services are part of their work, my “thank you” expresses my attitude towards the results of the service, not that I am truly grateful to each other from the bottom of my heart. Most of my sincere “sorry” and “thank you” were made when passive situations occurred. For example, I pedaled three rounds up a steep slope, and the opposite was an eight-level headwind, which made it hard to pedal. You ride a bicycle behind to catch up, freeing one hand to push me behind. I turned my head to look at you, damn it! Ren Xia has a deep mind. I immediately said “Thank you, big brother, thank you, big brother” while letting you smoke. Or I walk down the street to talk to people, forget about it, and dance. You walked over from behind, I waved my hand and hit your arm accidentally. I immediately “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m okay, I’m so sorry…” This is a passive emergency. You take the initiative to give me help, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I unintentionally offended the innocent you, and I sincerely apologize to you. Other active subjective, self-driven behaviors, how can there be so many sorry and thank you? I have a slow pace of doing things, and I always think about it. Before I do it, I will think clearly: the reason for doing this thing. There will be several results in this thing. Faced with each result, I have a rough idea, how to deal with it, and so on. If my reason is not sufficient, or the result is not good for you: if you are the enemy of my opposite, I can’t be said to be sorry, I just rushed to do you, I’m sorry. You are my friend or stranger, I choose not to do it, otherwise it is too wicked. If things don’t happen, there is no such thing as being sorry. If I have good reasons, but the result is unexpected, and it is unfavorable to you: I say sorry is just an introduction, the point is that I will actually compensate you. A sentence of sorry cannot replace compensation at all. “Thank you” is the same. I don’t say thank you to my friends, I’m thirsty, you bring me mineral water; next time you’re hungry, I’ll buy you a big cake. To non-friends, I say thank you as an introduction, but I must have other actions, even if I am poor, I will give you a cigarette. In my personal concept: behavioral value is higher than emotional value, always forever. Some people’s sorry and thank you, they use the emotional value of the person, these two sentences are emotional currency, used to pay for the other party’s behavioral value. I’m so hungry that you put you on the table for breakfast tomorrow. You asked me the next day and I said I’m sorry, I was so hungry yesterday. Then I won’t go out and buy you a copy at all. I’m sorry to be a shit. I’m so hungry, you give me a piece of bread to eat, and I say thank you. Next time you are extremely hungry, I will not give you bread. If you ask me if I am a human being, don’t you tell me if you know it? I was shocked, I said that I thanked you last time, I don’t owe you anything! These two examples are a bit extreme, but many people do use “sorry” and “thank you” in some specific scenarios. They are not so polite, as they are finding peace of mind for their prostitutes. This is why I don’t use emotional currency very much. I feel sorry for the people I will replenish your behavioral value, and I feel that those who should be thankful I will offer my behaviors as a gift. Action is the thing that can prove people’s hearts the most, and it’s really useless to speak nicely. In the case of the subject, I would also give a behavioral evaluation instead of an emotional evaluation. He owed me money, he paid it back, and took the initiative to take a trip. Is there anything I’m sorry and thankful for here? Why do you lend money to others as if you are committing a crime… Just say: Excuse me, if you look at the hot weather, you have to run again, causing trouble! Then I handed him a glass of Bing Kuo Luo to drink. It’s a fact that it’s causing him trouble, and it’s also a fact that he needs ice to fall at this moment. My context and behavior are reflecting and solving his actual problems, rather than using honorifics to lift him to a noble position. Repaying debts is justified, it is such a thing, there is no need to put yourself so low! Because there are a few people, you lower yourself, and he immediately rides on your neck as soon as he lifts his thigh and refuses to get down. I never give people this opportunity: I don’t want to be your father, but you don’t plan to use my humble east wind to blow me into the depression of my son’s generation.

8 months ago

If you want to really understand what these words mean or make others feel. Why not click in and take a look. 1. We have to look polite, so tired. 2. Thank you is a gentle wall that keeps people who want to contact you out. 4. If someone owes you money, you still thank him. He won’t be embarrassed next time I borrow it. It should be the person who paid the money thank you. “Thank you, I am really grateful that you can pay me back, and I can’t think of it.” “Thank you, I have paid back my money. I am an insignificant person. I am very happy that you can value me so much.” 5. Can we Realize that we are attacking others in a polite way? Pushing others away? You see, you are fine, you helped me, and I said thank you. We even owe no one to anyone. You see, I did something wrong, and I said sorry to you, what else do you want? 6. Although politeness is good, it also separates the true intimacy. 7. Think about it, when do you feel the most comfortable happiness? Was it right in the dormitory that a dirty word pops out of your mouth when you call your brothers and sisters? Everyone laughed and cursed that the boss in the dormitory fell in love with Xiao Hong in the female dormitory opposite. You helped your good buddy play cover and skip class, he just said thank you when he came back. Are you inexplicable? If it were me, I would jump up and hammer him and let him ask me to eat 30 kebabs. 8. Adult feelings often start from lack of food. We are out for dinner, this meal I invited, the next meal you owe me. I paid it back. Then there is no more. Your way is that others help you, and you say thank you to others. Then reject the relationship. It seems to say: “Thank you for helping me so much. I am embarrassed, so please don’t find me next time.” 9. Avoid inner anxiety and desire for intimacy, and eliminate guilt. That is the purpose of such words. 10. The husband and wife have known each other for many years. They laughed and said thank you. Of course, the years have been quiet and good. This can be a habit of each other after a long time of running in. But the truth is that in most intimate relationships, thank you can be maddening. 11. Today I brought you brown sugar water, you are very touched. You say thank you. Tomorrow I bought you a delicious cake for your birthday, you say thank you. The day after tomorrow you are in a bad mood, I will take you out to play, you say thank you. When thank you becomes a habit, you will feel very lonely. Starting with thank you, this relationship, this help, this behavior, it ends here. Sorry actually means the same thing. 12. If you really want to thank others, let’s be more tangible. For example, if you double-click on the screen, I won’t say thank you to you. You’re polite. Besides, I would like to say that if a person’s life has been “thank you” or Words like “sorry” are kidnapped, which is really annoying. This is not a behavior that needs to be improved, but behind this behavior, we discover those unknown feelings. My own feelings. As you said later, you hope that through this behavior, others will feel that you are “polite and humble.” You have to think about it, what does “polite” mean to you? Not loved? rejected? Not liked? And the “Which effect is greater” you mentioned? For whom? What kind of response do you expect from others? What role did you play in it and what mask did you wear? In addition, after thanking you, we can’t swear, we can’t act like a baby, we can’t make trouble unreasonably, and we can’t complain. All the attacks, all the resentments, are hidden deep in my heart. If it were me, I would definitely not deal with such a self. Finally, here is the most dry psychology respondent. Welcome to remind me and welcome to find me. Don’t panic, thank me, give me more approval, like to collect.

8 months ago

Sorry, I’m new here. I didn’t understand the rules when I first came here. If you upset you, it’s all my fault. I’m sorry to say sincerely, thank you for giving me the praise. There is nothing wrong with “bow” proactively showing weakness, especially after leaving school and entering society, it is a good way to protect yourself. When I first went to a unit, my performance was too eye-catching, and my speech was too hard. It was easy to “keep regretful”, which was not conducive to future development. It is best to adopt the strategy of “Don’t use Qianlong” to hide yourself appropriately and accumulate strength. If you have done something wrong, say sorry and smile with a guilty smile. If someone helps you, say a few more thank you, and then a sincere smile. At the mid-stage of the development of things, you still have to “be vigilant at night”, always be cautious, and be aware of danger, so that you have the opportunity to “fly the dragon in the sky.” When you have developed to a certain stage and have some qualifications and positions, you must be more modest and prudent, arrange others to do things, say a few more thank you, things have not been arranged, take the initiative to take the responsibility, may wish to say sorry, smile slightly, things will happen quickly Will pass. These are the truths that the “Book of Changes” told me. Mother’s Day is coming soon. I can’t stay with my mother. I want to say I’m sorry. Thank you for your selfless dedication to us. There are many things I can’t say. I can only borrow gifts to express my feelings. How many teeth is your monthly salary enough to see? What is the best Mother’s Day gift you have ever given? Some people say that I have learned the Eighteen Palms of the Dragon. Yes, I did learn it in the next. The first move of the Eighteen Palms is called “Kanglong has regrets.” It can be used to guide our daily life, and those who want to learn the eighteen palms of the dragon can come and play with me. Who is the pioneer of Jianglong Eighteen Palms?

8 months ago


As we all know, the Japanese are known as the “most humble” in the world. They like to bow at 90 degrees and say “I’m sorry”, but don’t look at what they say, it depends on what they do. Japan apologizes and discharges nuclear sewage to show that this is. Inconsistent and inconsistent! I think that “sorry” or “thank you” on the lips can only be seen as more polite and humble. Weakness is more manifested in the “illegal rule of society”, or when being bullied, generally speaking, it is more humble and polite. a little. ;Look at the Japanese humility award: Japanese Prime Minister Abe’s “polite” moment; Japan’s Aichi Prefecture misconducted 24 normal people as officials of the new crown pneumonia and bowed and apologized; TEPCO’s management collectively apologized for the Fukushima nuclear accident; Japan The revival phase apologizes for the tritium mascot

8 months ago

I think it’s a polite language, just ask whatever you want. If you want to do something wrong or misunderstood, just say sorry, or sorry, embarrassed, etc. in polite terms. When accepting kindness or gifts from others, just say, thank you, thank you, and some say thank you very much, etc. I don’t understand it so complicated. I usually say sorry, thank you, and sometimes I learn to say to others, sorry, thank you, how to come along, anyway, it is all polite terms.

8 months ago

A little. “I’m sorry” and “thank you” are both strong expressions. Because they are very formal, they appear to have a low status. Therefore, I usually use slightly neutral expressions, such as “sorry” and “thank you”, with a more casual tone, and the status will rise immediately. When I am abroad, I rarely use sorry and thank you, but my bad and cheers (for the UK) instead.

8 months ago

Different identities will express different effects. When parents say the three words sorry to their children, they can make the children feel the sincerity from the parents; when the leader says the three words sorry to subordinates, it means a kind of Take responsibility; in the general context, the three words “sorry” have a strong tone and a sense of humility, and are used when things are serious; if they are frequently used as a spoken language, it is easy to make people feel too humble and easily lead to a sense of pressure; usually Under circumstances, when you need to express your apology, use “sorry”, “very sorry”, “very sorry”, “very sorry” to express it, which will make people feel more natural; the word “thank you” is a little humble. Use a stronger tone; when expressing gratitude in informal situations, using “Thank you” to express it will feel more natural;

8 months ago

The key is not how often you use polite language, but whether you can speak with your heart. The beginning of the thin and chaotic courtesy and faithfulness is not to say that being polite is wrong, but to say that being polite but inconsistent with one’s heart is the biggest problem. Your “I’m sorry” is really anxious to solve the problem? Or is it just conditioned reflex? Or is it really guilty? With your “thank you”, do you expect others to help you next time? Or is it just a habit? Or are you really grateful to others? Everyone is careful, and most people can figure out which situation is at a glance. The last one makes you win people’s hearts, the first two make people look at you.

8 months ago

This result is caused by your own pleasing personality and has nothing to do with polite language. I think what the subject needs to do is to accurately grasp the scale of interpersonal relationships. Commonly known as carrying the Qing. The two scenes you mentioned in the title are polite to you, but ironic to others: if someone pays you back, you say thank you, and the other person’s mental activity is: if you don’t want to borrow the next time, you can just say it without yin and yang. Someone made a special trip to pay back the money and you said thank you: I think it’s too late to pay it back! I think this may be a normal psychological reaction of normal people. . The subject of the title, do you know a word called do your part? Before I retire, I will share this vocabulary with every newcomer who is promoted in the workplace. I explain the difference between management positions and ordinary employee positions in this way: You have to learn to take the lead at the department dinner. When you used to work as an employee, you could rush to sit as an assistant or other starting position to serve all meals. That’s because the Lord accompanies someone to sit down, because someone presides over this dinner. Now you are the host, you have to do your part. If you are still rushing to sit as a deputy, where do you let your subordinates sit? If you say it nicely, you can say that you don’t forget your duty. If you say it badly, it will make others unable to be human. (I know that people are disgusted with wine table etiquette, and I also dislike it, but in the traditional industry in Shandong, unlike the Internet, we are not all young people with high academic qualifications. We are also involuntarily, please lift your hands and squirt) This is ” An example of doing my part” in the workplace. Take on the responsibilities you should bear, and at the same time learn to accept the “respect” of others. This respect is not the respect from the heart from an emotional point of view, but refers to the inevitable and inevitable subordinate relationship in interpersonal relationships. This case is also shared with the subject. When you are kind to others, you can learn to accept others to express gratitude. It is not important whether this gratitude is from the heart, but it is a representation and symbol of normal interpersonal relationships. If you cannot accept this symbol, it will make others feel uncomfortable. This article is a bit daddy, I hope everyone understands my kindness. I have no intention of preaching, just because, for some reason, no one is willing to share these pits in the workplace!

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